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Everything posted by Realworlder

  1. Day 2 Productive time: 02:29:00 Yesterday was not much better either, I ended up procrastinating and wasting a lot of time again. I need to get out of this rut because otherwise I am going to run into way too many issues. I have been so stressed lately, need to sort out bunch of stuff for University as well as accommodation and just hoping that things work out but I will need to put the work in. I am getting back to my better habits and I do not have games as a form of escape so I am sure I will be able to improve things. I hate whenever I reach this point with stress and anxiety that it becomes paralyzing. Just got to get shit done today! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  2. Day 1 Productive time: 04:03:00 Well it has been some time, I decided to take a break from here for a few days but ultimately I ended up relapsing. It all started when I got a new phone. I really like it, especially compared to my old one as everything is nice and smooth and I do not have any problems. However, because of it being much more powerful I ended up playing quite a few mobile games. And that became a huge issue, I have played mainly CoD mobile for about a month without doing anything else, just game after game claimbing the ladder. It took me a while to realize that what I was doing was not healthy at all and I was neglecting most other parts of my life. I stopped it because I saw the addictive nature of the game yet I kept on playing other games such as Genshin Impact while lying to myself that it is not a problem because it is only a singleplayer game. I learned it in the past, and then again and again, I just cannot handle gaming. Even if it starts slowly it ends up taking over my life. The biggest problem I ran into was my extreme anxiety that was building up over all these days of gaming. I have procrastinated my lab work and completely neglected writing up my thesis. I would have probably procrastinated anyway but with games it is always such an easy and appealing escape from reality that only hits me once I stop gaming and then the anxiety hits. I have quit again and I am proud of that. It took me quite a while, and when I quit one game I moved onto another. Now howver, I have deleted everything from both my PC and Mobile. It is not easy, I am still tempted and want to go back to it agian, but I know I cant. I musn't. There are always those two voices in my head, one is "why game at all? It is not anything that I need in my life, there is so much more rewarding stuff to do out there." And the second one is "look you have been so productive lately, you can afford to play just for a little while, play with friends it will be fun." I musn't listen to the second one because it never brings anything good. Even if it only starts as a nostalgic game with friends, they always move on and I end up being stuck gringin out the game to get better. And for what? I can't waste my life like that. So here I am, back again. Wish me luck, hope everyone is doing okay! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  3. A bit late reply but great to hear that the knee is getting better. Soon you won't need any crutches. Also congrats on getting close to your weight goal. I use Brave which has a inbuild adblock and it is so refreshing not seeing ads on phone, well there stil are quite a few of them in apps but it is what it is. On the other hand there is the benefit of the apps being free if there are aps there but some site push it way to far for sure.
  4. Day 26 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:16, Russian:26, R programming:26, Excel:16, Workout:14, Stretching:14) Gaming free:26, Gaming videos:6, No takeaway: 6 Productive time: 06:00:00 Get out of bed time: 06:30 Oh man, I have not been doing that great in terms of daily journaling. However otherwise things are going well I would say. I decided to do a one month YT free challenge. I will still have access to it in lab, as I might need it for some work possibly but it is too time consuming at home and I blocked it for that reason. I am quite curious to see how I will cope without it. I still have this sense that I need it for daily functioning but I do not thin that to be really the case. When I looked at my YT history, there were some helpful videos that I watched but nothing super important so I should be fine. I am going to track again videos as well as takeaway again. I have spent too much money lately on ordering food and I need to be cooking more for myself. @TheNewMe2.0As long as you get enough nutrients then all is good. That sounds good, I think if you get back to those exercises slowly you should be able to avoid any pains and injuries better. Also there are several good compound movements so should be enough to build muscles all around. That is quite interesting to try out different faiths I guess. In fairness at the base level I would say that they all have some stuff in common. But it is as you said, keeping it simple and consistent is the key. Best of luck with your goals! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  5. I see, hopefully you get someone that will be able to help it! Stay strong buddy! It might be better if the meds will help but I do remember that you were quite happy once you got off. It will be best to leave it to the therapist though, it might be the best solution after all. Good to hear that the knee is getting better. I am sure you will be able to walk just fine in no time.
  6. Day 23 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:15, Russian:23, R programming:23, Excel:14, Workout:14, Stretching:14) Gaming free:23 Yesterday was okay, I was not too productive. However, I am pretty excited that my league accounts should be deleted soon. I have realized that I had one more which I set up to delete. It is still so tempting to play, I think it is because of the extra stress these days. I have not been reading as much and I would like to get back to it. I have only few more pages in the light novel that I want to finish and then I can start the Rhythm of War which should be great, it is 4th book in The Stormlight Archive series that I read last year. I loved the series and I am looking forward to getting back to it. @TheNewMe2.0 I would recommend having a look at how many calories you eat. Because it might be that you are in too big of a caloric deficit which is not good either. Also eating half of the portion is not the best approach in my opinion, because as long as you were not eating twice the amount calories you needed before, now you will be eating only half of how much you need. Of course if you want to lose weight you need to be in deficit but it is better to take it slower than too quickly, moreover it might not be good for you knee either as it needs nutrients to heal up. Good luck with losing weight though! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  7. Hope that the new therapist will be able to help. How is your knee? Is the PT helping? Good to see that things are improving.
  8. Day 22 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:15, Russian:22, R programming:22, Excel:14, Workout:14, Stretching:14) Gaming free:22 Well last few days were pretty okay. I did not get back to journaling as I did not have time in the mornings. Kinda sucks that I was not able to keep up my morning routine but it is what it is. I had a nice trip over the weekend and managed to get a decent amount of work done. I was also good at keeping my daily habits on learning Russian and programming, even though I have not done too much progress but I was consistent which is the main thing. Got to get back to daily posting though. @TheNewMe2.0 Thanks man, yeah doing okay now. I think that there are for sure benefits to fasting but it is probably best for everyone to try it out for themselves and see. I mainly like that I do not need to eat all the time haha and can enjoy larger meals. How many calories are you eating? Even if you are fasting you still need to keep up your maintenance unless you want to lose weight. But even then, do not cut too much as that would lead to some muscle loss. I see, still be aware not to eat too little. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  9. Day 18 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:12, Russian:18, R programming:18, Excel:12, Workout:10, Stretching:10) Gaming free:18 Last five days were fine but I did not manage to follow with my morning routine which was a bit of shame, I kept postponing writing an entry, so I wanted to just briefly catch up and then from tomorrow reset nicely again. I managed to get a lot of work done and experiments seem to be going well to so that is great. I ordered a new phone so hopefully I will get it some time next week for which I am super excited. I am still struggling with Facebook, and now I tried to contact them through copyright because someone posted some ads through my account which I am not sure what exactly is going on and it is a bit worrying that someone got access to my account. I still not understand how as my password was really strong but I guess it was possible through third party app somehow. I want to unlock it to be able to resolve that and then I can slowly cut all ties with Facebook. I do not have much time today so will end it here, might write more tomorrow. @TheNewMe2.0 Those are some things I like about it, hope you are doing well. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  10. That is good to hear, I think that therapy can be super helpful. That is a good suggestion on her part. If it is stressing you this much you might just need some time off to relax and then get back with a strong start. Take care mate.
  11. Day 13 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:8, Russian:13, R programming:13, Excel:9, Workout:9, Stretching:9) Gaming free:13 Productive time: 08:29:00 Get out of bed time: 07:30 I will keep this one brief, pretty average day yesterday. I really enjoyed the warm sunny weather though. It was super lovely outside and overall a good day. The phone should be on it's way so I am super excited for that. It will be such a massive improvement compared to the phone that I currently have. It still might take few more days in the mail but hopefully soon. Can't wait haha. Update on the facebook thing .... not much has changed so will see, there is a possibility that I won't be able to unlock it and then it's basically just not facebook anymore I guess. Might be for the better though. @TheNewMe2.0 That is pretty good, I try to usually eat just two meals as well. I like the convenience of it that I do not have ot prepare so many meals and I enjoy bigger meals anyway. It is also good for your teeth as you do not have so many acid attacks as my dentist friend would say haha. You too! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  12. That is good to hear! Stay safe! I am sorry but I am not sure what else would help. I think this would be something to discuss with a professional and find some solutions to mitigate it. I am sure there is a way to improve it. That's great to hear, just give it some more time and I am sure you will be able to get back to walking and exercise in no time.
  13. Day 12 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:7, Russian:12, R programming:12, Excel:8, Workout:8, Stretching:8) Gaming free:11 Productive time: 03:29:00 Get out of bed time: 08:30 Another day fighting battles with Facebook. Well will see, there might be some progress this week. Overall a nice and relaxing day though, I have not done too much but I was not planning on it so I do not mind that at all. I got up fairly early too which was nice as well. I ended up spending bunch of time with a friend and we watched some Kevin Hart specials which is always a great fun. I really enjoy his stand up. @TheNewMe2.0 I think it is good to have a day or two in the week that you get some time to relax and recharge. It feels even better when you know that you done all the needed work and then you can plan out a proper day of rest. It was really good, I need to get some more and might make it with some rice this time as otherwise it gets a bit pricy but it was still amazing. Fasting is great, especially intermittent fasting which even your client is doing as well. However, be careful not to over do it. Any prolong fast can be dangerous as it is starvation then and that is not the state you want to be in. Also if you want to do something for longer it would be best to make a lot more research into it and talk to your doctor as if you cause yourself harm there will be no benefits. Doing a fast even for a day should be pretty doable, even if you just think about human evolution, it is only now that we can have meals 24/7. That kind of thing just does not exist in nature. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  14. Whatever works mate, if I lay down when I meditate I tend to fall asleep haha. Sitting makes it easier to focus a bit better imo. It is great to hear that there is no damage on your shoulder and knee. I think that for the cartilage the best thing to do would be physical therapy and some mild stretching and of course rest untill things get better. My shoulder is super sore today too haha. Odd thing is that only one of the two. I agree with Books, you need to get better at not being at the complete control of the DE, even though it might be hard, you have to learn how to fight it. Moreover if you are feeling suicidal, contact emergency services or someone who you can talk to! It is never an option!
  15. Day 11 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:7, Russian:11, R programming:11, Excel:7, Workout:8, Stretching:8) Gaming free:11 Productive time: 06:15:00 Get out of bed time: 11:30 I got up way too late but I was pretty tired so I decided to catch up a bit on sleep. I made a delicious BBQ dish, beef short rib. I was surprised how well it turned out as I did not follow the recipe and I never cooked it before but it turned out perfectly. I was a bit worried because I bought it quite randomly too but now I know that I will get it some time again. Otherwise a good day to chill and and I got done bunch of chores that I needed to do. I got in workout in the afternoon which was good as I almost skipped it, it wasn't the greatest as I had a mild headache but I am happy that I pushed for it and got it done. I am planning on having a chill day today so should be a nice weekend overall. @TheNewMe2.0There are a lot of cool fantas creatures in anime. Good luck with nomas streak, keep it up buddy! You could have tv in the background while you draw too. Might be bit on the higher stimulation side but should be still fine and enjoyable. Well the problem is that I can't even delete the account on Facebook because it is disabled by them. So it is not visible to anyone but it is still stored on FB servers. Well within the week I hope I will be able to unlock it, resolve the hack issue, secure it and I might delete it then. I still would need to figure out how to get in touch with some people that I can contact only through facebook so it would be hard for me to get completely rid of it even if I would want that. I saw the post today, will have a read later. Sometimes it is good to let go and keep on wirting to get rid any thought out there. Don't worry mate, the stress comes and goes, it is rought some times but it will alsoe get better! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  16. Day 10 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:7, Russian:10, R programming:10, Excel:7, Workout:7, Stretching:7) Gaming free:10 Productive time: 08:15:00 Get out of bed time: 06:30 Yesterday was pretty good day, well if I take out the whole Facebook thing. I spent a lot of time dealing with that and I guess I just need to wait. The most disturbing thing is that I am not sure if someone hacked it or not. I know that someone logged into it, I can see it in the information, however I do not know if they got access to anything. I got email that there was a try to reset password. And not sure what happened that caused it to be blocked but someone must have uploaded some kind of ID to verify the account which did not happen. But in the logs I can see that some kind of ID was uploaded but I did not do that so I am not sure what is going on. Moreover I cannot contact Facebook as there is no way to do it when your account is disabled. What a f*** r**** company. Made me so angry. Well for the time being its password changing time. Besided that I manged to be fairly productive, got some work done in lab and called with parents. I finally ordered a new phone so I am super excited about that. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  17. Day 9 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:6, Russian:9, R programming:9, Excel:7, Workout:7, Stretching:7) Gaming free:9 Productive time: 06:15:00 Get out of bed time: 06:50 Thursday was ok but not the greatest. I spent quite a lot of time procrastinating as it was the deadline for the another PhD that I was applying to. However I do not think I will get it, it is much more biochemistry focused that I am not so good at but I do not mind it that much, looking at how much chemistry they expected it might not be the best fit for me. Besides that I managed to get that done so that was good. I didn't do much about facebook but I have spent a lot of time changing passwords and trying to fix the issue on Friday. @TheNewMe2.0 Thanks. That is good to hear, it is much better to be free of any addiction. That is the one think that I hated probably the most about addiction, it just takes away any time that I could spend for myself. Instead of getting better in real life it would all go towards the games. I am down to delete the account but it sucks that it is disabled this way. Facebook is such a f**** disguising company. I knew that they track stuff but the amount of info I got when I downloaded my information was ridiculous. They even track all my app data from my phone. I find this pretty disturbing as most of the apps have nothing to do with Facebook. I would understand if google had something to do as I have android phone but why the f*** does Facebook get my data? Also their support is abysmal, as my acc is blocked there is no way to contact them. I can't even report that someone tried to hack it, can just wait and hope they unlock it so that I can delete it. Also if it is disabled it does not get deleted and stays in their database. It is so messed up. Moreover, they seem to track lof of stuff even if you do not have Facebook, especially in terms of app info because lot of apps use advertisement that is done by Facebook software. Only think that kinda sucks is that I do have some connections of Fb from past that I would not want to lose. I see, how about drawing monsters/fantasy characters that are genderless? Best of luck mate! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  18. Day 8 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:5, Russian:8, R programming:8, Excel:6, Workout:6, Stretching:6) Gaming free:8 Productive time: 04:14:00 Get out of bed time: 06:50 Yesterday was bit rough. I ended up spending a lot of time searching for phones because I am in process of getting a new one and struggle to pick the best option for my budget. I had one that I was about to buy but then the price for it ended up being more than expected which was super annoying but I have few more days to decide. But even though it cut down on my productivity I got haircut, went for a run and overall it turned to be a pretty nice day. I need to work on my PhD application today so that might be a bit stress full but otherwise it should be a good day today. @TheNewMe2.0That's great! Both of those are pretty cancerous, I was thinking about deleting my Facebook account for quite some time too. However, it got disable yesterday for reason unknown to me. I need to find out what happend. When I asked for a review it only told me that apparently I was not old enough to be one FB which is some bs. But if this is the way my account gets deleted so be it. Only issue with this is that it blocked my messenger acc which I still used a bit but it seems like there is not much that can be done. Yeah that's for sure. I think that there are some triggers that might be worth keeping but then we just need to use discipline to over come the temptations. Yeah, the gaming community is crazy. Especially league one is so so salty. Its great that you are game free now and can see how much your life got better because of quitting! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  19. Day 7 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:5, Russian:7, R programming:7, Excel:6, Workout:5, Stretching:5) Gaming free:7 Productive time: 10:14:00 Get out of bed time: 06:50 Yesterday was great, got up early, got all stuff done and then had free time in the evening. Only thing I want to work on is to be a bit faster with my morning routine as I tend to get sidetracked but I love being able to finish work and then have just free time later in the day. I went to bed around 22:30 which was super early. But I think I was quite tired because of early wake up and then I went to the gym, which finally opened. It was great to get about 8 hours of sleep. @TheNewMe2.0 Yeah, it's nasty. You should be able to have a full control over your accounts. Especially if within that month period you get tempted to do it again, it can completely suck. Avoiding triggers is super important. It saves so much energy that would need to be used to fight the urges, but if you limit the number of triggers that way it's easier to limit the energy needed to maintain control. Thanks, the more ties I cut with league the better. I have invested too much into that garbage and I do not want to have anything to do with it anymore even if it might be tempting. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  20. Fair enough. Stay with landscapes, it is the best of both worlds then as you can maintain your streak but also be able to continue drawing which you enjoyed. That is a long time to meditate. Good job on that. As Jason mentioned I do not think it is that important to go for super long, but it might be worth trying how long can you meditate at one go. Although it would be good to be careful with that so you do not burnout on meditation.
  21. You can always draw male or other characters without any clear gender and that might help. I am sorry to hear that. Stay strong!
  22. Day 6 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:4, Russian:6, R programming:6, Excel:5, Workout:4, Stretching:4) Gaming free:6 Productive time: 05:21:00 Get out of bed time: 07:00 Overall a good day, I was not as productive as I might have wanted to be but I got most of the priority items done so thats good. I ended up submitting a ticket to Riot to delete my account. I think that is one of the main issues why I kept relapsing that I have not deleted this account yet. When I deleted my old acc back in march last year it was a huge change. I need to cut the ties again. It is annoying that it takes them a fucking month to delete my account. You can clearly tell that the Riot games clearly knows how addictive their fucking games are and abuses it as much as possible. @TheNewMe2.0 You are welcome. That's great then, I am sure you can manage quitting that too. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  23. I see. Well you are very close to it. That's great to see you reach 1h goal. If you enjoy it I would say stick with it, you can always draw non-arousing characters. That's a pitty, well maybe sometime in the future. If not then there are shows that you can enjoy so sticking with them is not that bad. That is sometimes the issue, that one injury kinda leads to another, especially if it stops our movement, however, it still might be best to consult with your doctor. Also good job resisting the thoughts.
  24. Day 6 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:4, Russian:6, R programming:6, Excel:5, Workout:4, Stretching:4) Gaming free:6 Productive time: 02:55:00 Get out of bed time: 09:25 Sunday was a chill day, and that's what I planned for it so I am happy about it. I made a load of bone broth, but I think I put in too many bones so it's super concentrated. I froze most of it so looking forward to using it in the future. I am really interested to see how it will taste if I put it into other recipes. It should make the flavor much richer. Besides that I spent some time chilling with a friend of mine and watched some anime. Overall a good relaxing day. Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
  25. Day 5 Habits: Positive: (Lab_work:4, Russian:5, R programming:5, Excel:5, Workout:4, Stretching:4) Gaming free:5 Productive time: 06:14:00 Get out of bed time: 07:25 Saturday was a pretty good day. I was fairly productive and did some work on my habits yet it was still a nice day to relax too. Later in the day I was hanging out with a friend which was nice as we have not seen each other for some time so we got time to catch up. Besides that nothing special, I wanted to be slightly more productive but I managed to get enough stuff done and had some good rest so it was all good as it was weekend after all. @TheNewMe2.0Thanks, I need to try using them more but I think that they do make a difference especially in the evening. Thanks, this journey was definetely a hilly one thats for sure haha. Thanks, I want to find an optimal way to go about my life. I think I am quite ambitious, but then when I procrastinate and get lazy especially when I turn to gaming it goes against what I want to do with my life so it is pretty destructive. Thanks mate! I really appreciate your words of encouragement. I can understand that, and it is a cool goal to strive for. If it gets that out of control it's best to avoid it, pretty much same story with gaming or other things that take over our lives. If we lose control over it that's when it becomes an addiction, a problem. It is quite hard as sex drive is wired in our primal brain. It is quite interesting, especially hearing of people that quit and got some great benefits out of it too. Best of luck to you my friend! I am sure you can quit even that! Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.