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I have a new plan for my days:

Wake up at 7, exercise, breakfast, work from 8 to 12, study from 12 to 1, work from 1-5 and eat lunch, then take a shower and eat dinner, then relax.

I'm doing this because I can't fucking study after work. I hate it. I'm so tired. Oh my god, fuck off. Stop. I can't take it. It's so boring.

That's all.

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Today was decent. I woke up late again and made breakfast, went for a 2 hour walk, made food, watched TV, had therapy, had my online date, and then sculpted in Blender for about 2 hours. So far t

I failed my exam today that I studied for months and waited 2 months for the grade. A passing score would have seen me become a project manager and receive a substantial raise.  I'm disappointed.

Today I'm 104 weeks or also 2 years on my journey free from gaming. I can't believe it's been this long. I feel like a different person and don't really have the words to describe how much this means

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I think it's funny how when I have bad dreams they always center around my parents angering me. 

Everything else is fine and I'll give a good summary in my post tomorrow. I'm just writing to say I had 2 bad dreams last night. One focused around my dad trying to kill me and capture me while the other was my mom trying to piss me off at her house and I was stuck there again. 

I haven't been arguing with either of them but I did feel anxious on the phone withthem this week for some reason. 

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Today I'm 119 weeks free from gaming and 121 weeks free from social media. I found that the past few weeks of work have been difficult for me to get motivated for. I've stuck to my schedule for waking up early and working out. I feel so excellent after lifting and stretching. My body feels great every time. The issue is I get so demotivated once I sit at my computer desk for work. I'm just not interested in my current projects at all and they're just sitting in my face. I instantly start to get tired and want to sleep. I also feel anxiety because I'm afraid my boss will ask me for the status.

I need time away from the redundancy of my job I think. I want to be more creative. I have a hard time studying for my exam just because of my lack of love for the job in general. I appreciate my job and enjoy it. I just don't always love it. I don't think anyone does. There are lulls and exhaustion and sometimes you need a break. I don't want to work this weekend. I need a breather.

I'm just going to admit I wasn't working my best and move on. I don't want to squeeze in hours this weekend to make last week work and then be tired this weekend. I did that a lot last year and it was worthless and detrimental to my health. 

I'm spending this weekend with that girl and I plan on asking her to be my girlfriend next weekend 🙂 I am so excited. 

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I've reached new levels of boredom and unfulfillment at work and it's crushing my motivation. Little projects pile up, studying has to occur, no time for fun outside of work. I'm just grateful for my new relationship. It's the one bright spot right now that I've got going.

I'm just struggling to find motivation for my projects. Even when I exercise before and after work or watch my shows or do a hobby it does nothing to quell my boredom. I'm not really sure what to do. I guess we all go through these phases.

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On 2/10/2021 at 10:05 AM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Grats on your new relationship. How did that come about? Work can be heck sometimes, it's a struggle for me too.

Thank you. Boardgame night and just asked to talk again. Just do hobbies and you'll meet someone. Fuck apps. 

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On 2/9/2021 at 11:45 PM, BooksandTrees said:

I've reached new levels of boredom and unfulfillment at work and it's crushing my motivation. Little projects pile up, studying has to occur, no time for fun outside of work. I'm just grateful for my new relationship. It's the one bright spot right now that I've got going.

I'm just struggling to find motivation for my projects. Even when I exercise before and after work or watch my shows or do a hobby it does nothing to quell my boredom. I'm not really sure what to do. I guess we all go through these phases.

Do you mean to say that you have discovered a sustained method of performing your work without feeling tested or challenged? Or is it a different kind of boredom, where the work is hard and challenging, but you aren’t getting enough in the way of new experiences?

I wish you to reformat your habit. What about your journey into health related activities? Have you read books on that? Do you want to be more fit than you are? Or are you already well developed physically?

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10 minutes ago, Amphibian220 said:

Do you mean to say that you have discovered a sustained method of performing your work without feeling tested or challenged? Or is it a different kind of boredom, where the work is hard and challenging, but you aren’t getting enough in the way of new experiences?

I wish you to reformat your habit. What about your journey into health related activities? Have you read books on that? Do you want to be more fit than you are? Or are you already well developed physically?

That's a better way to put it. Thanks. Maybe that's a better mindset. 

I want to be more fit and I'm on my way to that now. I enjoy that a lot. 

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On 2/9/2021 at 1:45 PM, BooksandTrees said:

I've reached new levels of boredom and unfulfillment at work and it's crushing my motivation. Little projects pile up, studying has to occur, no time for fun outside of work. I'm just grateful for my new relationship. It's the one bright spot right now that I've got going.

I'm just struggling to find motivation for my projects. Even when I exercise before and after work or watch my shows or do a hobby it does nothing to quell my boredom. I'm not really sure what to do. I guess we all go through these phases.

It is interesting that you do not game even with the disappointment and boredom you, sometimes, get in life! 

Boredom and gaming are strongly correlated in my case; not sure how to deal with it.  

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This past weekend I reached 120 weeks without gaming. I officially became a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. This is one of the happiest moments of my life and I'm so proud. I'm very proud of the woman I'm in a relationship and also proud of myself for staying true to myself and not settling for someone out of desperation or loneliness. We're such a good match for each other and I'm just eternally grateful. I can't put it into words.

I've also gotten out of my work rut and become much more productive this week. I feel very good about this. I'd like to study a bit. I might study tonight actually. I'm a little bored tonight and don't have to work late because of my productivity. I just don't really want to lol. But I have to and it is good for me.

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17 minutes ago, Jason70 said:

Congratulations on the girlfriend! I hope you two have fun together! Also what a coincidence that you got together on Valentines Day! 
 

Best

Jason

Thank you! I planned the whole thing for it to happen on valentine's day 🙂

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How is your exercise routine going?Are you doing stretching and running and how many times per week?

I’m in quite a dilemma. My results for the year are unsatisfactory, I’ve now read some articles that talk about pitfalls in overtraining or the wrong techniques that cause you to waste effort. I just need to monitor my technique, but filming myself takes more time. 

so I want to start swimming and doing targeted back exercise with a coach, just need to allocate funds for that.

 

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On 2/16/2021 at 6:18 PM, BooksandTrees said:

This past weekend I reached 120 weeks without gaming. I officially became a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. This is one of the happiest moments of my life and I'm so proud. I'm very proud of the woman I'm in a relationship and also proud of myself for staying true to myself and not settling for someone out of desperation or loneliness. We're such a good match for each other and I'm just eternally grateful. I can't put it into words.

I've also gotten out of my work rut and become much more productive this week. I feel very good about this. I'd like to study a bit. I might study tonight actually. I'm a little bored tonight and don't have to work late because of my productivity. I just don't really want to lol. But I have to and it is good for me.

I am very happy for you 🙂

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This past weekend I hit 121 weeks free from gaming. I have felt very good about my relationship and am very fortunate to be in it. I am pretty burnt out from work though. I've been more motivated when I exercise and balance everything etc. I think I need a vacation again or something. I have 2 projects left to finish and hopefully things improve after. I got a lot of smaller projects done this past week and feel better. I was pretty overwhelmed watching them pile up.

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I'm a little annoyed with myself because I've been stress eating. I feel like I've gone from game addiction to porn addiction to eating and sleeping. 

I wish I would find balance. I think I'm just going to return to portion control tomorrow that I used last year to lose 30 lbs. No more ice cream sadness meals. 

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Is the stress coming from work?

Often I wonder if a lot of  the customary things in the workplace are down to people’s perceptions.

Many things can be time wasters at work, but seldom is anything done to change that. One of the greatest ideas i’ve seen is to have a fitness gym at the workplace, so that the employees could work out straight after finishing work and come back recharged the next day. I can vouch that even if the last hour of the working day is dedicated to exercise, the output of the workforce will definitely grow.

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On 2/27/2021 at 6:34 AM, Amphibian220 said:

Is the stress coming from work?

Often I wonder if a lot of  the customary things in the workplace are down to people’s perceptions.

Many things can be time wasters at work, but seldom is anything done to change that. One of the greatest ideas i’ve seen is to have a fitness gym at the workplace, so that the employees could work out straight after finishing work and come back recharged the next day. I can vouch that even if the last hour of the working day is dedicated to exercise, the output of the workforce will definitely grow.

It is a mix of work, my exam again, and just the pandemic life kind of closing in on me after a year. I had a great weekend though and feel better. I work from home so I don't even go to a workplace. 

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Last weekend I hit 122 weeks without gaming. I had a wonderful weekend with my girlfriend and am eternally grateful for her. I panicked at work because of stress from people asking me to do stuff and not being able to do my own work. I vented to my therapist and boss about it and then decided to stop signing on to the work message system so I can just do my work. I then worked out for an hour and studied for an hour today.

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Congratulations on being 122 weeks game free! I am glad you had a good weekend with your girlfriend and I am glad it cheered you up. I find this pandemic life is all closing in on us, what I think will be important to remember is to celebrate the small things in life. I'm sure you've heard this a lot during the pandemic but it's just crazy to see how many things we took for granted once we open up on what we're grateful for. Hang in there. I hope you do well on your exam!

Best 

Jason

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11 hours ago, Jason70 said:

Congratulations on being 122 weeks game free! I am glad you had a good weekend with your girlfriend and I am glad it cheered you up. I find this pandemic life is all closing in on us, what I think will be important to remember is to celebrate the small things in life. I'm sure you've heard this a lot during the pandemic but it's just crazy to see how many things we took for granted once we open up on what we're grateful for. Hang in there. I hope you do well on your exam!

Best 

Jason

Thanks, I appreciate it! That was great to read this morning. 

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Work can be nuts I have some struggles there myself but do my best to make it work. Congrats on your relationship I'm glad it's going well. And that's awesome you've been off games so long. Over 2 years.

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