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Gaming the System 006 - James' First 30 Days As a Digital Nomad in Thailand!

Onlysoul

Onlysoul

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Thank you for your concern! Yeah, first week was terrible. Now I'm feeling little bit better. 😊

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40/90

Watched channel Impact Theory a lot on youtube. Still not feeling good. I sweat a lot.

 

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1 hour ago, katsudo19 said:

40/90

Watched channel Impact Theory a lot on youtube. Still not feeling good. I sweat a lot.

 

Get better! 

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41/90

I'm grateful for my body, mind, eyes, ears, job, hands, technology, relatives, feet and home.

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I'm sick and had a lot time for thinking. I need to start writing my own story because this one, which I created with my own decision is not quite good. I saw anime movies Your Name, 5 Centimeters per Second and A Silent Voice. It almost rip my heart from my chest. I'm alone with no friends or love. So it touch me like anybody else. I felt enormous sadness and I cry a lot. So what now my friend? I choose to create person which is very clever and have good ideas to start bussiness. Which can handle physical and mental pain or harassment. Is disciplined in every aspect of his life. Years 2019 will be year of healing myself and creating the new person. I will use my past, good and bad things to create this badass katsudo19. It's gonna be a ride! You will not even trust your eyes when you look at the mirror at the end of 2019. I fix you I promise. 

berserk-guts-2.jpg

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42/90

Incredible. After all I had done and learned first idea which came to my mind in the morning was you can play Fortnite little bit. It's okay. I will tell you it's not okay. From 10 minutes will come 10 hours, 10 day, 10 months etc. Then I will buy both consoles to satisfy my appetite and hit more and more dopamine. I will literally spent thousands of euros to gaming and game related content. And you will forget which is important in life. No way gentlemens. I learned from the past. This is crucial for me to understand that is no way back to my old life. I sacrificed my past habits to the new way of life I started building. It's easy to find excuses. It's easy to give up. But not this time. Fuck weakness. Embrace pure act of willpower. We will see you later. 

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44/90

I need to set my mindset to growth mindset. What is growth mindset? Growth mindset: the understanding that abilities and intelligence can be developed. People with a growth mindset love new challenges and view setbacks as opportunities to learn. Make it happen.

 

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46/90

I had a dream about gaming again. I think that I was playing Warcraft 3 or something similar. It didn't scare me or disturbed my emotional state. What I want to expect? Years spent in the front of the screen. Self torture as well. It gave me something? Yeah. In these days I love myself or trying to learn how to love myself. I learned what does it mean discipline, selfawareness, meditation, human needs etc. I learned that I can change some things in my life, my attitude to certain things. I learned that human being is extremly adaptive to enviroment. I learned about the brain a lot. I learned what impact have PMO on us. What impact have emotions on us. Maybe is the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned a lot from it.

Edited by Guest

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2 hours ago, katsudo19 said:

What impact have emotions on us

They are very strong I also had a dream about it yesterday.

 

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48/90

Emotions hit me so hard yesterday that I almost relapsed. It's the warning signal for me that I'm making huge mistakes on my road. From today I will not using GQ on daily basis. I spend a lot of my time last week on internet that I did't spend in the whole month. I made some stupid decision and ignoring my new path. 

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I experienced incredible emotional pain and numbness. Man if you are struggling like me check some tools and wisdom which I'm going to try. 

A. If you don't know what is your purpose try to meditate alone at night. Focus on breathing. Calm your mind. Then observe your past, present and future.  Give it try. It will be amazing experience. 

B. Problem with emotions. If you igrone your emotions they will be stronger. Dont try to run away from your emotions. Accept good and bad emotions and observe them. What causes it? Heal your emotional state. Make it agile.

C. Passive lifestyle is killing us. We need to go outside, to forest or whatever. And execute our inner dreams and plans.

D. Action=Reaction ; Invest=Harvest

E. It's okay to be vulnerable.  I recommend ted talk The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown

F. Courage - the ability to control fear and to be willing to deal with something that is dangerous,difficult, or unpleasant:

G. Give back. If you solve something or know solutions for problems of other people teach them, support them or give them tips.

H. Pain is the great teacher. We all must go through pain.

Edited by Guest

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So after thinking about what will be my next steps I decided to seek professional help. I'm quitting forum. It helped me a lot but I need to go further and internet will not solve my problems. Guys you are so amazing community and you struggle a lot. I wish you only best. And finally solve your crisis.

 

Much love.

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Always gave really wise advice. Youve been an awesome motivator in these forums. Also wishing you the best of luck for where lifes gonna take you next. Im happy for you that youre seeking professional help to further better yourself!

God bless!

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1 hour ago, katsudo19 said:

So after thinking about what will be my next steps I decided to seek professional help. I'm quitting forum. It helped me a lot but I need to go further and internet will not solve my problems. Guys you are so amazing community and you struggle a lot. I wish you only best. And finally solve your crisis.

 

Much love.

Good luck You have opened my eyes my friend.

 

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I support your decision, you know the best what you need. Good luck on your recovery. Remember, there are people who believe in your success.

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