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TwoSidedLife

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  1. @Blab It's a tricky disguise. Especially cause it seems justified. Just checked cause I remembered seeing DuoLingo recommended in the hobby list here (Yeah, it's recommended as a resource). I think Duo use to be a lot different a few years ago, not sure. I personally don't think it should be a resource here. Everyone on this thread seems like they might agree w that.
  2. Day 0 I feel like I want to try again. Video game's aren't a real hobby. I do a lot of stuff on the side now, but my game-time is still too much. Currently I feel stuck to my obligation to game with my younger sibling. Recently bought a new game (and tbh it hasn't been the most fun thing...), spent about at least 5 hrs a day playing that. I've never been the type of person to keep up with gaming news, watch gameplay, always have/want the newest games ect. I've just been content with what I had. But that doesn't stop me from being just as addicted, if not more. I realise I do have a serious problem. I still play on average ~8 hrs a day, since I still game alone. Tho I don't feel like it holds me down as much, it's about half what I use to be at in the past. I'm much more happier and proud of that for keeping myself for keeping to 8hrs (im not limiting myself either, I just get bored after that). I use to game ~15 hrs in the past (before I started doing drugs), since I skipped school most days. I see that, that average is a lot more than the average. It's a horrible feeling, spending all your waking hours in a video game. Doing whatever you can to ignore your obligations and avoid your responsibilities. I feel that I lack a lot more self control than regular ppl. When I was doing drugs, I didn't game as much anymore. The scary thing for me was that I spent more time trying to decide what to play. I remember sitting there for HOURS just trying to decide. Trying to find something that'd get me hooked. The same cycle repeated when I was sober and withdrawing, during that, was when I decided to search for gamequitters. On top of that, it showed I didn't play games for entertainment, but that I only played seriously. Since majority of the time, I was too high to understand, strategise ect. that would annoy me aswell. I think my problem is only as serious because I have underlying problems (Dissociative Disorder) due to a complicated childhood. It's also hard to imagine that at some point (2013), I had the will to quit multiplayer games forever. I haven't touched that addictive garbage in years. The multiplayer games of now, look much worse than back then too (Microtransactions just leech off addiction). My plan right now - I just want to be able to keep a limit to my game-time with my sibling. I also want to not game on weekdays (which i've been pretty decent at so far). I've decided to take small steps, since cold turkey might not be for me (and I may aswell try something different after one year of trying). I think it's more helpful to ppl who's lives have revolved around video games for so long (as mine did with drugs and obtaining money for said drugs). In future quitting, i'll definitely stick to the forums more. I know i've never made it to 90 because I don't have anything social to do. Since I cut off my friends (after quitting drugs) and I did school completely online afterwards.
  3. In my experience they usually get stronger before going away to a permanently much lesser craving - but that's from my experience to pot addiction (I smoked it for 3 yrs straight every hour or two). While they're not the same, I consider it comparable. The biggest challenge of it imo is to handle the cravings. It's the same as 'area' as learning how to deal with anger, becoming more patient, calming yourself down ect. I use to use a 'drug track' kind of book to help me cut-down and quit pot. I'd consider it extremely helpful for gaming to. The point was that whenever you have a craving, you write down the time, the situation happening right now (usually correlates with the craving, but we don't notice eg. home alone) and how you feel (you can crave in any emotional state). If you ended up relapsing, you would write down how many (mins in this case), and how it made you feel. What surprised me the most about it was that i'd smoke whenever I was lonely and it'd just make me feel bored. Eventually quit cold turkey when I found real interest in something - slowly realised that I was bored of myself for not doing anything, that I had relied on ppl to make me happy instead. My advice for 'dealing with' the thought of having to complete a game is that - The game will always be there. It's easier to imagine 'stopping' gaming, instead of 'quitting' it aswell. One implies that it's forever and that's not a decision you should make from the start. If you recover from this, there's people who've been able to go back successfully, play reasonably and live their life as intended. It just happens that most ppl choose never to go back. But all in all - happy lives. It's not gaming thats bad, its our RELATIONSHIP to them that is problematic. Also hope that you don't bring any tech on your holiday. I've been overseas 3 times. 1st time I spent majority of it gaming on a laptop. Next two times were way better since I didn't bring it. Next time I go, I don't want internet access at all - too tempting to download games.
  4. Thanks @Lea - haha yeah exams sound pretty stressful, especially since you're in uni, you'd have a lot riding on that. Been missing these forums. Such a good community here! I think between now and since my last post - I started school again, been really good. Also been 'moderating', tho it definitely hasn't worked out as well as I wanted it to. As of writing this tho, its my 2nd day. I got really into game mods and decided to give coding a go (So, i'm making game mods ironically), its been going pretty great so far. Idk, ever since trying to quit the first time over a year ago, been feeling really entrepreneurial lol. Might come back here and post more eventually - I mostly enjoy the community discussions around here rather than talking abt myself tho hahaha. Hope all's going well for you in school life!
  5. That's pretty normal for quitting, nobody knows what to do (Unless they've quit before). I'm still not committed again to quitting, but starting is the hardest part imo. It's good you've come as far as to recognise you want to stop, that's the most crucial step. If you haven't already, uninstall your games on your PC (As well as any software things, like steam). If you've willing to, you can also delete your account. It's mostly just important to create as many 'hurdles' in the way of the games as possible. If you've got a console, pack that stuff away in storage somewhere. You could even give it to a friend to hold onto for you (Make sure it's someone you trust tho that won't go against your decision to quit). Additionally, there's guides around here on how to delete your account(s) if you're interested in doing that. If you're concerned about game save files, put that stuff on a USB and pack it away. If you've been into gaming content on social media, like gaming vids for example, it's a good idea to clear your history, likes, subscriptions ect. on all those different things. It mostly eliminates the gaming stuff you'll see later on. As for what to do with your life next, that's where your journey begins. Time to find some hobbies and things that interest you. There's a tool here on gamequitters - https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/. You can also use other sources, like wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies. Wikipedia's sources will branch off into other 'sub' areas you can explore further too. Just make a list of the stuff you want to try, then try it out. Be sure to check back here or ask any questions if you need any help along the way! It's a big process, with huge results.
  6. imo yeah it would be a distraction for you. I spent some time searching some ways to learn languages quicker. A key piece of advice I found was that you need really strong reasons to do it, otherwise it really isn't worth your time - that's why most people learn just a little bit and never become fluent or even competent (What use would a little bit be anyway?). I'm not a fan of DuoLingo, (just personal political stuff). I did use it for a few months before, but I felt a bit addicted to it. It was all about chasing medals, levelling and they also had a 'comment' section on every phrase which gets distracting. Also once you hit that learning curve where it really ramps up, I think ppl tend to change languages in order to gain more medals, levelling ect. (Since the higher you go, the more work you need to get the same rate of medals, levels ect. as before) The system is built like a game. I'd definitely avoid it if you're concerned, i'd be on DuoLingo for way too many hours, just like it was a video game. I don't feel learnt that much either. compared to if I had've just learnt irl from my family. Additionally, i've seen people say that DuoLingo is inaccurate in certain ways. I'm learning a language (Indonesian) because half of my family speaks it. DuoLingo in that language was too formal for aswell. It was so formal that a native speaker would need a dictionary. In the career field i'm looking at tho, itd also be super advantageous to learn a language or two. Learning a language without DuoLingo for example (It's really the only good digital one i've seen), you'd have to apply methods such as watching TV in those subtitles ect. stuff that you'd likely be avoiding. I can see how that'd definitely be distracting too. Those are my thoughts on it at least. It's definitely doable tho if you decide to, i'd recommend you come up with a different method of doing it tho, one that's more physical. Maybe journalling or keeping a translation book with you. Congrats on getting that far! I've been in this for almost a year now, never been as far as you. But i've had some great streaks. Currently still struggling with starting again, but i've been setting goals and getting stuff done again. I might quit again cause I definitely know what you mean by cutting off the 'easy dopamine'. It would really help my work ethic.
  7. Never donated anything like that, but I donate items (If it's still good) instead of throwing them out. When i'm older and get a career, I know a lot of people and organisations i'd love to reguarly donate to
  8. The next step to go I reckon (While detoxing) would be learning more about self development. I watched a lot of youtube vids abt that before I knew to come here and seek help (While I was still getting high everyday). But you can also read or listen to podcasts if you prefer that (I just had lots of time back then since I rarely went to school). Plenty of topics on meditation, self discipline, social skill advice ect. Tho since you're into business, I found business ppl were the best advice givers for life too. I'd definitely recommend the channels "Valuetainment" and "Brian Tracy". Goal setting should also be something you should focus on - Learn about it so you can apply it properly and it'll be easier for you. Advice I hear over and over from those kinds of ppl (Online at least) is that a good career and money are not what they looked for. They just followed their passions and money came along with it as a bonus. In other words, the key isn't to focus on money, but to focus on your actual self. I think it's awesome you know in some sense exactly what you want and that you've taken the action to be here!
  9. Yeah I agree that it helps advance your skills in some way and challenges you, so I don't think its dumb. I think the difference is that - Gaming can't translate smoothly and properly into real life skills. Whereas if you learnt a lot about a specific program, you make yourself more valuable money and career wise. I wanted to get more into making music digitally, mixing it and ect. i've got great music skills irl with the electric guitar. But i'm very new to mixing it digitally and all, I have to learn it from scratch (But later up that learning curve, my music skills'll make it easier). Messing around with just my guitar from all the times I was grounded was also how I got so good. The learning process is never perfect. Messing around while 'trying' to learn is also a way of having fun too - It improves your memory which helps you learn better. I tried programming, i've stopped for now because I don't have any personal benefits from it, don't really enjoy it and don't have any projects i'm wanting to do with it. Currently am doing digital image manipulation tho and i've been enjoying it, my whole goal with that is to sell designs on a website and earn some passive income. I do school online, so i'm stuck at home and in front of a computer a lot. My only activities away from it are just doing chores, going a bit beyond those chores, exercising, playing an instrument, some gardening (At the least, i'll just go outside and pick up garbage) and working on some house projects I came up with. When I get the money, i'm gonna buy some books too to read outside. Reflect on yourself, find your morals, what matters to you and set yourself some small goals. I feel fulfilled morally just from making our house cleaner and looking nice for my family (Who're usually out most of the time), even tho before I hated doing any kind of chore. Been thinking about volunteering and i'll work up to that at some point. Also try out some things that you've never done to see if they interest you. From what I can tell, you sound passionate about living a more connected life.
  10. @goodvibes I just remember seeing a past post from the mods saying it wasn't possible right now because of the site's design/coding or something. But could be possible, since NoFap's site seems similar and they've got badges there. Should've mentioned too, I track using the app Quitzilla on Android (Free version only lets you track 2 habits at once, pretty sure it's only on Android too).
  11. @Sarma I didn't do anything too extreme (At least in my opinion lol). I was addicted to pot for 3 yrs, smoked it everyday and found it very hard to quit. My life just revolved around smoking it and getting more whenever I could. I finally quit when I started pursuing my own interests and hobbies after leaving my friends behind. Felt like I had lost touch with myself and didn't know myself anymore. Other than that, i've done ecstacy a few times (once w ice), oxy once and abused whatever prescriptions I could find (So nah, i've never done hallucinogens or anything harder than that. Wasn't addicted to anything else other than pot). I think it made me a really passive person and didn't allow me to express my full true opinion on lots of things, which was something a lot of ppl knew me for before I started smoking. That + my gaming habit took a big toll on my education and left me with no positive friendships later on. Yeah I think the whole identity around gaming thing is hard too. I'm a bit of an outlier tho, I didn't have any irl gamer friends and nobody knew I gamed. I've also never been into getting the newest games, keeping up with gaming news or watching gameplays/streams. So i've never considered myself as the average gamer. I quit multiplayer about 4 yrs before I started StopGaming, was mainly addicted to singleplayer games. Didn't game as much when I was doing drugs tho, but whenever I was by myself it was all I did. Absolute slave hahaha.
  12. Use to have a lot of friends, but i've changed since then and adjusting to a more regular normal life (No drugs lol). Kinda just backtracked to 'making ammends' with my family for all the trouble I caused and the yrs I ignored them (Currently learning to accept others). Haven't gone about making friends yet, been doing school online for 1.5 yrs now. The best way I made meaningful connections was just by focusing on myself and doing my own thing. Friends just come naturally when you do what you want, instead of focusing on others. As for socialising, I keep in mind that everyone knows something I don't. They know something that's likely to interest me, so I listen for that. Also don't ask questions or join in if you genuinely aren't interesting in listening to any answers. Truly listening is really key to having conversation - It's how you naturally come up with questions and whatever else. Connecting more with current friends tho, isn't something that can be fast tracked or rushed. Try learning more about listening skills and applying that, it takes you a long way (Even if you already think you're a good listener). If you have a personal interest in something, invite a friend to come with you. That way it's fine if they don't want to go (You'll still go / Invite someone else) and you won't be doing it just for another person (Ppl pleasing). Yeah, as selfish as it sounds, just do you. Edit: As for women, if you haven't checked it out yet, have a look at NoFap. But the general advice is that you shouldn't specifically look for that - Let that come to you while you do your own thing.
  13. My psych advised me that I have a dissociative disorder. But made the choice with me not to refer me since i'm high functioning and being recognised with a disability wouldn't make my life easier anyway. I don't take medications also and don't intend to. I've also had drug induced psychosis before for about two weeks, it went away on its own without any outside intervention. I've been dealing with lots of general anxiety for years. Recently i'm taking on not being so anxious in public. What started my journey was quitting pot. Found StopGaming not long after. I've got this mindset of wanting to improve, learn and apply advice about self development. I've been taking steps to cut out other things that don't benefit me too like smoking. I also left behind all my friends at that time, since they only enabled my drug habits and didn't have any will at all to be something more (No goals, no aspirations). The two things I recommend are self reflection whenever you feel lost (What are you goals? Aspirations? What action are you gonna take to solve your problem?). goal setting and meditation. The more you practice meditating, the more control you have over yourself. Sounds strange, but I feel like now I can use that anxious energy and turn it into productive energy. I've heard similar things from NoFap too. For the 'Schizophrenia' level things - You might be familiar with psychosis or symptoms alike to it (Although it is pretty rare to experience, something like 2% of the world?). I'm no doctor ofc. I wouldn't know how Schizoprenics handle pre psychosis either (Since their onset is sudden, probs why they req. meds). Tho with my disorder, I start having those symptoms only when i'm extremely stressed (There's also no medication specifically for DD). Might be helpful for you to practice 'grounding techniques' - They're usually what I do in pre-psychosis, but I think they'd help for other disorders too (Tho usually apply to symptoms of losing touch with reality). If you are familiar with psychosis, I use this STEPI indicator test to help let me know if something truly is changing (Usually your cognition slows down to a point where you won't realise without the aid of a test to tell you). I've also heard psychosis like symptoms can come from other disorders too like types of anxiety including OCD (But the same principles apply that it's not extremely common). I've been doing Cognitive Brain Therapy for a few years. Very helpful. Helps me become a better person by challenging my behaviours, thoughts ect. in a contructive logical way. Was afraid at first that it'd permanently change my personality lol. Self diagnosing isn't worth the effort tho. When I was younger I knew I had something, searched a lot about it and was overall just a waste of time and source of anxiety.
  14. Playing one game won't 'solve' the urge for another. You might be looking at it in the wrong way too. Don't focus on the aspect or word of 'quitting', think of it as stopping until you can get to 90 days. At the same time, during the detox you can't solely focus on "When it's over, I can game again!". Quitting something and battling an addiction isn't about focusing on killing that addiction - it's about focusing on building your life in it's absence. Not sure why there's a direct link to a twitch stream in your post either, makes me kinda think you're trolling. In the end though, only you can help yourself, its your life and your choice if you want to quit or not. There'll always be support here, but we can't help you if you don't want to be helped. If anything, you should write down and reflect on why you wanted to quit in the first place.
  15. Sounds to me like you're having FOMO (Fear of missing out), since you're relapsing when the 'season' resets. Unlike life, we don't have that kinda hard reset or fresh start. That might also be something that's drawing you in, only you can know for yourself. I've personally never experienced FOMO with gaming, but know it's a driving factor that keeps ppl addicted to today's popular online games (I quit multiplayer 3 years before I found and started StopGaming). Theres a lot of resources out there specifically for understanding and overcoming FOMO. Here's just one article I found from Psychology Today. Also, welcome to the forums!
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