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TwoSidedLife

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  1. Imo, it's not a question of abstaining or not. Those who have gaming under control simply just have their life under control. They aren't running away from anything or trying to repress any feelings. Personally I never made it over 90 days but i'm nowhere near as addicted as I use to be. It was during a period of quitting where I realised and went after what I truly wanted in life. Yeah, you can force yourself to play only 2 hrs a day or something but it won't last. I personally wouldn't do it - because that's not fun. Moderating yourself is hard work and it's harder than just abstaining for a while. Eventually you will just give in and not moderate yourself anymore, because that in itself is stressful. The best kind of gaming is where you don't feel compelled to keep going, you can stop whenever you want AND you can play for however long you want (no moderation). It's more freeing to abstain and get your life under control. Cause when you do go back to gaming you don't have to moderate yourself and you don't have to worry about being addicted. My gaming habits now are probs about 2 - 4 hrs somedays. Most days I don't game. That's a huge change from 16 hrs everyday. I have the power to walkaway whenever I want and I also have the freedom to game if I want to.
  2. If GQ ever did this, i'd leave so quick. That feels so authoritarian to do. The lack of members, support ect. as a community is what makes ppl leave. Ppl come in expecting there to be help but it just feels desolate here. That expectation is especially heightened with gamers. Games make you feel welcome, social, tell you what to do. This place doesn't offer anywhere near the same in any of those areas. Gamers are impatient. Of course they want a quicker solution and more often than not, they look to themselves for it. I think more ppl quit gaming without the need for GQ by realising on their own.
  3. After making it through that feeling of constant boredom, yes definitely. Lack of focus to me = lack of interest due to boredom.
  4. Did anyone else neglect eating when they were addicted? Ive struggled w this while im gaming and when ive quit. Ive had to focus a lot of energy on having 3 meals a day. Sometimes its all I achieve in the day. Should I be buying more food or getting interested in cooking or something? Its a bit hard since I live w my parent - They dont let me cook beef or anything while its too hot in the day or late at night (After 10).
  5. @ismailkanaan I don't really see it as directly fighting the gaming companies. I'm not against the addicting ways of their gaming either. Not everyone gets addicted and I wouldn't want the government/laws to further regulate everyones freedom. I think overall you're right. We need to support each other a lot more as a community. Imo, that should be our only role. I don't see why we need to fight the gaming companies when we can instead just focus on helping those that want to be helped. My opinion would change if the gaming companies did or said anything to purposely attack this 'movement' though (So far i've only seen in the UK parliament inquiry that they completely deny addiction exists). Would probs have to see how it goes in a few years if this community gets stronger. Wish i'd be more active here on ppl's journals, but I feel weird dropping in randomly and not knowing anything about the person. I feel as if I have to read everything to grasp a proper understanding and I honestly don't have time to do that. Maybe someone has some opinions on this for me? Personally I wouldn't expect anyone to read my full journal, anyone could just read the previous entry and make a comment - tho idk anyone elses opinion on it.
  6. I'm having a hard time starting to break the gaming habit. I've always found that the hardest part. I'm going to list my reasons for quitting: I want to be the best that I can be and I really know I can do better. Delayed gratification is worthwhile. I want to practice it better and stop with short-term rewards in exchange for long-term. I don't want to waste my time anymore when I know I can do something else that's more worthwhile. I'm tired of the ill effects of gaming. Leaving me insanely bored and the tetris effect when I try to sleep. @BooksandTrees Imo, NF is more moral based and StopGaming is more time based/keeping busy (?). I decided to stop for good because I want a better love life (and i'm making that happen!). The decision to quit forever in NF is easier I think too. When the urges hit, that's the energy that's used to channel into your productivity (Science shows we learn better when we're aroused too). I'd say the only similarity between the two is relapsing - It's never as good as you imagine it to be and you'll regret it afterwards. The emergency/panic button is really helpful too.
  7. Day 0 It's been a very long time (6 months!). I think the last streak made it around 65 days (Still never been to 90). Eventually I came to the conclusion that I wasn't addicted anymore. In the months between I was able to game on the rare occasion (~ once a month), had no cravings and was easily able to stop when I wanted to. I continually kept trying at NoFap too (I'm a woman, but I struggle with it too). Basically something really clicked in my life (LIFE CHANGING!!) and i've become very dedicated to NF. It's no doubt my best and strongest feeling run ever. Despite that I haven't even crossed my 'record' yet. I've decided to come back to StopGaming, since I feel like I have a problem with gaming again. With this life changing thing thats happened, i'm basically trying to make something specific (Positive) happen. Tho the process has caused me a lot of stress, i've managed it for a while now. My problem with gaming starts now tho. Finishing up with school + this other thing i'm trying to do = too much stress. I'd like to find a better way to cope with stress instead of turning to gaming. So this time around, my younger sibling introduced me to fortnite. For the past few days i've been playing it for about 1 - 3 hrs with them (taking turns). Today was the first day I played by myself, since I was offered the chance. I gamed for 2 hrs. Initially, I tried to stop at 1 hr. I also had to wait 1hr for it to update and in that time wasn't able to focus on my schoolwork. It's not a HUGE amount of hours and it doesn't seem as bad. Though I feel that it's the start of becoming more. I mainly want to quit because I know I shouldn't be gaming in this situation. Instead I should be doing schoolwork, since it's the 2nd last week. I'm procrastinating with gaming again. So my plan is to attempt 90 days again. I've struggled with StopGaming more than NF. Since the school holidays are coming up, i've made a list of things I want to do when I get the freedom. I don't think i'll have too much trouble avoiding gaming. I genuinely don't enjoy any of the games I own, my computer is too slow and the only games that will run smoothly are on my younger sibling's computer. I've been in StopGaming long enough to know what to expect too. Here's to the start!
  8. @goodvibes Yess! Paintball is a great option, tho i've never been still. I've wanted to get into shooting real guns when i'm a bit older. It's a bit harder to do in Australia but not impossible. Airsoft looks awesome too, but banned in Australia sadly. The laser tag place in my town does tournaments/competitive for older or more serious players haha. I use to do the exact same with in-game items hahaha. Tho it wasn't 100% legit cause i'd shark a lot of new players (Good thing I quit! I've learned i'm pretty damn persuasive/manipulative if I want to be). But i've definitely done it right before. I've got no $ rn. Planning to sell stuff I don't need first (Once I have enough $ to ship it) and then use that money to truly start flipping. My life is a rogue-like game lol.
  9. It's so subjective, but it does relate so closely to how you game. I wasn't big on MC, but I enjoyed it for the rogue-like elements (Starting with nothing > surviving > Thriving) There's also so many hobbies out there that you would've never thought of. I've recently gotten into flipping items on eBay, I think this'll be a mad hobby when I truly get started. Relates so closely to how I use to game. I recommend everyone to look at their gameplay styles and what they enjoyed about the game specifically. You can enhance that happiness and build those skills in the real world too!
  10. Need to get back into reading. I'm a great reader and seem to have a good memory. This thread has some great recommendations! I've been reading this one book for like 4 years now (Not yet finished). I've taken away a LOT from it and it's changed me immensely. Found it locally one day when I was going through a hard time. It's helped me figure people out a lot more and made me realise things about people. I highly recommend (Non-Fiction) - "Dropping The Pink Elephant" by Bill Mcfarlan. This book teaches you firstly, how to spot when people are lying/there's something more that they're not saying for some reason/what people really want from you. The second part teaches you how to be more direct when you're speaking and how to say what you really mean. In a nutshell, most of the time when people say "x sentence, BUT" they're not being direct enough because x sentence is exactly what they want/there's a degree of truth to it. When people say "I didn't/don't" they are most likely lying/there's more to it. On rare occassions that wording can't be avoided though. It depends on the context - If it's said out of nowhere (No accusations or unrelated to conversation), it is a lie/there's more to it.
  11. I go to a vocational school and we learnt about listening skills. Applying those skills helped me become more attentive to what people are saying. It was different from what I was doing before. Now I listen with intent, I listen to the meaning of what the other person is trying to convey. I don't get bored of conversation anymore and I could easily sit and listen for a long time if I had to. I also don't 'preload' a response to what other people are saying. Instead I listen and I react to that genuinely after they're done speaking. It's hard to explain it, maybe you could find some youtube videos about listening skills. As for travelling between classes, my sibling (In University) learnt to skateboard so that they could get to class quicker. Might be something to consider haha. You're not supposed to skate on campus, but I think if you're quick it doesn't really matter. Especially if other people do it too, it wouldn't be a huge issue. Everyone would probs see that and easily understand that it's hard to get to class quick anyway.
  12. @seriousjay That's some good advice to me haha, thankyou! I coincidentally signed up for meetup today. Saw it a few years ago, but most the events in my city are far. Tho this time i'm willing to give it a go :)
  13. @Nuka-Chunk I agree with @seriousjay. When you get older you realise how easy it was to make friends back then and maybe how you should've kept certain people around (even if it's just basic connection w social media). You're still free to do you and make new friends. The only reason i'd say is worthy of cutting them off is if they don't want you to succeed in life. Eg. They try to persuade you to go back to gaming or they're salty about your new connections. In my experience, it's never the whole group that's like that. One person can still be a supportive and great person, they're the rare friends that deserve to be around when you do succeed.
  14. My advice then would be: Everyone feels anxious. Trying to shove that feeling away doesn't work. Instead if you embrace it, it can be like a source of energy. It's helped me a lot to focus on turning anxiety into excitement. It's a lot like meditation if you've ever tried it. Usefull in the sense that you can take negative feelings and use them to create good feelings/energy.
  15. (Disclaimer: I have no friends myself anymore. But the reason being that we were all involved in drugs and other bad things, I decided to leave that behind years ago). I think as long as you put yourself out there, you can make friends. You can choose your friends. If you think someone looks cools or just someone in general you'd want to hang with, go talk to them. Being at university is good enough. I don't think you'd need to force yourself to be in other activities just to make friends. If you did want to make friends elsewhere, focus on going to something you'd actually like and enjoy personally. School/University is the best place to make friends imo. You can talk to people in your class, ppl you see a lot or ppl who're in areas you enjoy (Artroom, Music block ect.). Everyone wants friends. Most people like to have small conversations between classes, rather than just standing around and waiting. I'd say at the moment I have no friends because I left all my old ones behind. I also study at home and have no job currently, so I don't get out as much and don't have the opportunity to do that. Social life has become a bigger goal and focus for me recently tho. Edit: I struggled in school a lot. Talked to the teacher a bit about making friends. They laughed and said so many people in this class have had one on one conversations with them asking the exact same thing (I was pretty laidback, so it wasnt mean or anything lol). They were just amazed that ppl all want the same thing but everyone was just too shy to start a conversation.
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