The Warrior's Infinite Opus

[Schwing]

112 days

Days porn free: 4

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Being open on 1000 days accountability call
• Getting myself up

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Not entirely

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up at 9 after a lot of self persuasion.
• Did energising routine. Some days it just doesn't work. Didn't feel tingly like I normally do.
• Surfed the forums a bit. I think it's productive
• Watched more cowboy bebop
• Studied a bit but I hit some brick walls and ended up trailing off. Didn't absolutely finish everything
• Read some manga
• Did accountability call. almost 2 hours holy shit. I really enjoyed it because I got to talk about things I am usually uncomfortable talking about to other people I am always in my head.

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: rest day
• Mental: studying, learning german, reading, call
• Spiritual: cold shower, meditation, bioenergetics

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Accountability
• Hand grip exercisers
• Easy cruising

What I have learnt from today:

• I talk about myself too much. Need to get better at listening.
• The ego asserts the consciousness and not the mind.
• If I am studying I should immediately move on to something else if I hit a brick wall

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Start 3 conversations with random people. Speak when you want to and release the restrictions of your mind.

Goal for tomorrow:

Get up on time

[destoroyah]

Came back did workout. I will have to shuffle the reps and sets around because some exercises felt easy and others were brutal. Should everything be brutal? Or just semi brutal?

Put as much into it as you can, if it's exhausting you grow more. If you have a bad day, just maintain and go easy. If you have a good day, go all out on repetitions (safe) - or weight / speed (not so safe).

And mind, if you really have a shitty day, just do halfass training at 50%, that's still better than giving up on it or having no fun longterm!

When I've been sick or lazy, I always re-enter at 50% not to harm myself. Injury has to be avoided at all costs, it's a shame when you go all out on a good day and screw a tendon or a joint and have to stay away from training for weeks. So always start out just below what you think you can handle.

Repetition is the safest route. As a beginner I'd go 30 repetitions with very low weight for 2-3 months (not shitting) with a heavy focus on torso and legs. A body needs to be built from the ground up. If you don't have back, legs and abdominal muscles trained, you're fucked when going for shoulders, neck, biceps and triceps with heavy weight due to a risk for back injury. I can give you a noob plan, but it's from 2004ish, so it might not be what current science dictates (but they always change their minds anyways and want to sell weird products which fuck your kidneys - just my opinion, take care).

Edited March 5, 2017 by destoroyah

[Schwing]

113 days

Days porn free: 5

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Nothing

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

No

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up at 7:50 which is way too late
• Today at school I didn't feel depressed but I felt indifferent. I felt like I just wanted to be separated from all the people I don't give a shit about.
• I could have expanded my comfort zone today through conversation. But i wasn't in the mood.
• I came home and did the energising routine i missed out in the morning
• I had a big think about life. I wondered what my path in life is and what I want to achieve. I had doubts about becoming and engineer. Will I just become a cog in a machine with no creative freedom? Or is that just how the world works? I also had doubts about society and whether getting a high flying job just to earn meaningless money is what I want to really do. Whether engineering is a true passion of mine or a figment of the ego.
• I ended up researching about gender roles somehow
• I then got my shit together and did some physics
• I then did some art

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: running
• Mental: studying, learning german, art, think
• Spiritual: cold shower, meditation, bioenergetics

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Life
• This
• 5 days porn free

What I have learnt from today:

• I think too much
• I don't really like talking to people at school a lot. There is no connection. Just the same old shit every day.
• I feel lonely. Perhaps what I want most in life is a friend who i can show my true self to.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Start 3 conversations with random people. Speak when you want to and release the restrictions of your mind.

Goal for tomorrow:

Actually leave your comfort zone

[Cam Adair]

Start 3 conversations with random people. Speak when you want to and release the restrictions of your mind.

Looking forward to hearing how this goes.  

[Schwing]

113 days

Days porn free: 5

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• I talked to 3 people I don't usually talk to but the situation presented itself to me more.

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Sort of

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up at a similar time to yesterday
• I had social anxiety for a significant portion of today
• I dropped it later on
• I went climbing, came home, worked out and did energising routine
• My drum kit got moved out today. It will be missed. But I am not not a jack of all trades.
• Fiddled about with krita.

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: climbing, workout
• Mental: studying, learning german, krita
• Spiritual: cold shower, meditation, bioenergetics

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Physically pushing myself
• the 1000 days challenge pushing me
• food
• my friends on nofap and game quitters

What I have learnt from today:

• I have an idea to get shit done. I have to physically initiate the task and not mentally. Physical initiation is not subject to mental blocking and opens you up.
• I am lonely because I don't feel an attachment to anyone on an emotional level. The question is how do I find someone who can be a real friend to me?

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Start 3 conversations with random people. Move into the conversation first.

Goal for tomorrow:

Actually leave your comfort zone ffs

[Schwing]

@Csaba_Bekesi Smile? You mean like this?:

Haha thanks for your ten minutes my man. I do climbing at school but there is nobody my age I like there. I do have deep conversations with this one kid sometimes at school. Contrary to what you would think though- we have fuck all in common. I am into fitness/ sport. He isn't. He likes hip hop. I like metal. He believes in god. I don't. He is black. I am yellow. We are of the same mindset. Fuck school. Fuck being marginalised and all this fake bullshit. Sussex is WAY too far south. I am living way up in Durham. So there isn't likely going to be a 5th member anytime soon I'm afraid!

Having something in common is a great way to meet people but to be compatible with other people is another story:

[Schwing]

115 days

Days porn free: 7

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Talking to 1 person I don't usually talk to

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

1/3 done

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up at my usual late time. This is becoming a habit!
• Went to school. Standard day. I sat around listening to metal and reading manga when I should have been talking to random people though. I think this is my new escape.
• Came home. Got lost in my thoughts a bit. Ended up looking at these feminist videos because it's international women's day. I don't agree with progressives. You can't change the nature of the human consciousness through political activism. We either go forward and just see what happens or go back and start living in caves again.
• Researched some lower body exercises as per @destoroyah's advice
• watched some elliott hulse. I have been thinking for myself a lot since i started this whole thing and much of what he says resonates with me nonetheless. The topic was finding purpose without religion.
• Looked at krita tutorials (krita is digital art software btw. It's free too)
• I haven't actually done my energising routine today. I'm getting too much into the habit of slacking off in the mornings. The notion of going 36 hours without a shower will get me out of bed.

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: row 2km
• Mental: studying, learning german, krita, workout research
• Spiritual: meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• The berserk manga
• Knowing my shit (sometimes)
• This awesome music
• one week porn and fap free

What I have learnt from today:

• Stuff about religion and politics blah blah blah I think too much sometimes

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Talk to 3 people you don't usually talk to.
• Practice randomly approaching people once

Goal for tomorrow:

get out of bed at the right time

[Simms]

I saw you expressed some doubts about becoming an engineer. Becoming a cog, losing your identity. I hope I can offer some encouragement: My grandpa is an engineer, two of my uncle's are engineer's, one of my cousins is an engineer, my dearest friend is an engineer, my girlfriend works for an engineering firm, and last but not least my brother is an engineer. A trait they all share in common is their ability to look at problems and come up with solutions. The force of their personalities, the credibility that comes with their training, it's a great combination that can help you in all areas of your life. I hope you continue pursing it!

An intangible benefit you may not have considered is: Being an engineer, you can get a job nearly ANYWHERE. Municipal governments in the smallest towns need engineers, the biggest centers in the world employ engineers where you can make the career your life, alternatively you can life in a tiny mountain town and play hard ;). It offers flexibility and professional satisfaction that is nearly unmatched.

So it's been a little over a week since your weights arrived. I saw you had a brutal / semi-brutal time of some things with the workout you posted: This one ? Any updates on your progress there? Still a priority? If you want any thoughts on how much weight to do with some of these exercises, please let me know and I'd love to chat about it!

Sucky thing about getting into weights is the first two weeks are hell. Your body will feel like you were hit by a train sometimes. Sitting in a chair will be an exercise in agony, and outwardly nothing appears wrong. - After two weeks the soreness fades, and if you're consistent you won't feel much if anything at all again. After about 4 weeks you'll start feeling ... power for a lack of a better word. And it will radiate out in everything you do.

[Schwing]

Thank you

That sounds nice. I just don't want to be stuck at some desk somewhere designing some useless consumerist shite. I will definitely continue with it. I suppose in life I cannot hope for total liberation and I have to accept some cold hard facts.

As for the workout. I do tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. I did't do it yesterday because I was ill. I have been thinking of sticking some lunges in there. Also I sold my old drum kit and I have plenty of money for that squat rack but my parents say i should just see how I feel about the routine I have right now. I agree with them. But I will probably end up buying that squat rack. Exercise is addictive. I think lifting is a question of commitment and not whether I feel I enjoy it anyway.

[lilX]

I was reading what Simms said about engineering and i want to add that choosing a particular field doesnt gurantee liberation. There is a dark side and good side to every industry.  

Im doing structural engineering right now and man there is so many ways you can become corrupt or immoral. When your client is the contractor, and they only care about keeping the cost down, there is so much pressure to sacrifice the safety of the building because you get no financial reward for making things safe. In the last comapny i worked for, they really didnt give a shit about safety and only about money. Lots of illegal things happening in that company. I quit after a women brought a knife to work and threatened to kill people. Anyways im trying to be positive here. Im working for a client who is an architect company doing sustainable, net zero carbon footprint buildings right now. Im good friends with one of the designers and Im really into making the world better and helping the environment so i find the job super fulfilling. I can only say about my own experiences but im sure other fields are the same, there are always opportunities to walk the dark side or light side. Im sure there are great people every field. 

Good to hear that you are doing workouts. I like to encourage people to exercise because of all the scientific evidence on the benefits of exercise. There are scientific research that shows exercise is better at combating depression than any antidepressant. Im not saying you are depressed or anything like that, but one could infer from that study that exercise should makes people feel really good. But i do have one buddy with a rare disease and exercise just makes him dizzy so i dont know. 

[Schwing]

Thank you for your story. I hope I will be able to do productive work like that too.

And working out fucking rules!

[Schwing]

117 days

Days porn free: 0

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• nothing

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

I didn't set one

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I have been very ill since yesterday. Today I skipped school and got up late.
• Tried a half arsed energising routine and had a hot shower.
• Did duolingo
• Spent most of the day sitting at the computer soul searching. Posting on the site. Reading manga. Listening to music. I relapsed on the nofap- mind was overcome by negativity and nihilism.
• While I was reading my manga the meanings behind it began to resonate with me on an emotional level and I ended up in tears. I have cried a lot these past 4 months. Changed my profile pic to the main character. He struggles against all odds. For me he is a symbol for the epitome of perseverance.
• A lot of shit has been going down to other people of forums lately- myself included. Funny how it converges on one day.
• Skipped work today too
• Tried a bit of studying and reading book. Couldn't focus. Same for meditation

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: 
• Mental: studying, learning german, reading, posting
• Spiritual: meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Everyone who supports me
• The internet
• Post rock / post metal
• Medication
• Struggling to improve
• That manga
• Being ill
• A new member on the forums @Granitwelle
• I am grateful for having a loving mother/ stepfather. Honestly I take this for granted. Other people are incredibly worse off.

What I have learnt from today:

• I MUST fight for my dream. Even when I am overcome by illness I can still keep my shit together. If you don't feel like studying then just take a nap.
• I have to become the strongest version of myself. There is no turning back.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Get up and make your day worthwhile even if you don't feel like it

Goal for tomorrow:

Join nofap group

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. Here is a nofap post i made:

Today I relapsed hard.
I felt awful. Depressed. Frustrated.
It's this I want to escape. I feel I have been keeping myself too distant for my own good on this forum and I need to open up and share my past.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I would escape into the world of fantasy at any given moment through videogames, books, tv and even lego. When my sexuality came into blossom I took straight to porn (12). It was my go-to as I would escape reality to find emotional security. Throughout my teens I always have been struggling socially. I would keep people at a distance. Never intimate. Never talking to girls. 
My porn addiction worsened. By the time I was 15 I had a folder in my chrome bookmarks filled it. I would view the most disgusting shit and I am very ashamed about it. Most of it was animated hentai porn. I'd watch rape, incest, bestiality, gore, BDSM, I even stooped so low as to paedophilia. I would have watched the real deal if I got my hands on it. I don't think I even bought into the shit though- my sexuality was completely warped by porn and I couldn't help it.
I have never admitted to this before. On this note I would like to swear an oath NEVER to touch porn again. I will also join the army of liberty that @tylerirish suggested.

"I swear to never touch porn again. I will give it my utmost strength to beat this addiction and rewire my brain. I am tired of feeling like shit. I am tired of giving up my sexuality to a piece of fake degenerative shit. I swear this by everyone who supports me, everyone I give support to and myself. I swear this by my friends, my family and my dream. I will beat this shit."

[Granitwelle]

Porn is detrimental and the internet is indeed a rabbit hole in this regard. A relative of mine suffers from heavy porn addiction and it has been quite tough for his family. It warps and twists one's brain, it is instantly available and basically removes any urge to go out there and find a real partner. Does NoFap actually work? Sex drive is one of the primal instincts and repetition/habit only makes it stronger.

I tried monk mode once and it was one hell of a ride. On the other hand, it does increase testosterone levels and I felt more assertive in the long run. Still cannot fully abstain though.

For productivity increase, I personally use the following tools at the moment

• KanbanFlow
• Todoist
• Forest App (no smartphone distractions)

If you want to try a different approach to your working approach, maybe you want to try the Pomodoro Technique - 25 mins of work/5 min break as reward, after four hours, you get 15 minutes of break time. Simple but effective!

Hope it helps you to get more done!

Edited March 11, 2017 by Granitwelle

[Schwing]

I have tried pommodros and it didn't really work for me. Todoist looks good though! I do believe sex drive is important but I don't believe in using my hand for it. It's sucks because I don't have a girlfriend or anything right now. But, I have been looking into sexual transmutation.

[Schwing]

118 days

Days porn free: 1

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Getting up at 7 instead. Of lying in

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Done

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up earlier than usual. Made my porridge.
• Studied 2 hours. I was able to structure my time more
• I have been reading a LOT of Manga lately
• I accidentally ate some raw cabbage in a sandwich. It fucks you up on the inside but it tastes ok. As long at you don't eat the stem. Yuck
• I read some physics. The topic was relativity and the space time continuum.
• Did some art. Got Krita to work. I really like it. One day I will get a graphics tablet monitor and be a pro!
• Going to bed early.
• Oh and I fapped earlier.

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: 
• Mental: studying, learning german, reading, art
• Spiritual:

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Tycho
• Knowing I am in the matrix. Fuck the system
• Getting shit done today.
• Nice food

What I have learnt from today:

• Who cares about masturbation right now. Porn is the enemy! You can't fight a war on two fronts!
• I can do so much in a day by just taking a little action. You can get a lot out of a little time.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Host that motherfucking accountability call like a boss

Goal for tomorrow:

Introduce myself to my brother's on nofap

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

Edited March 11, 2017 by Schwing

[d.manuk]

What part of Beserk made you cry?

[destoroyah]

Knowing I am in the matrix. Fuck the system

Hahaha. Yea. Fuck the system.

[Schwing]

@Shine Magical The bit where guts is thrown in a dungeon and he meets that flower spirit thing. Stick on some post rock and read that manga- guaranteed you will cry.

[d.manuk]

@Shine Magical The bit where guts is thrown in a dungeon and he meets that flower spirit thing. Stick on some post rock and read that manga- guaranteed you will cry.

I have read every chapter that is available

[Schwing]

Aha!  Well then! For my riposte: I bet you haven't read this manga! Bwahahahahaha! Prepare to be outweebed my good man! *waits to be completely shot down*

You must have cried many many times though. When are new volumes released normally? Do you buy them in hardcopy or as a ebook or something? Where from?

Edited March 12, 2017 by Schwing

[d.manuk]

I torrented most of the chapters onto my iPad and then I read the more recent ones through a manga website.

I haven't read the manga you linked, I will put it on my to do list    

[Schwing]

@Shine Magical It's super surreal - and it's all about looking at each others souls. Very nice.

[Schwing]

119 days

Days porn free: 2

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Going for a walk by myself

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study or read 1 hour
• Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Done

Thoughts and Feelings:

• I got up at a reasonable time
• I did something that blew my fucking mind today! This is pretty fucked so bear with me: I was looking into sexual energy transmutation the other day and I came across a video on Qijong meditation (whatever it was called). I recalled a part about making your energy flow from the base of your spine to head head, down your front and back round again. So I tried focusing on my groin area then working my focus around the loop at discrete points. I could feel a slight numbness in parts I focused on and at some places I felt quite fuzzy. So when my 10 min were up I stood up and I realised I fucking spaffed in my pants a little! Who would've thunk?! It didn't work though because I still had urges.
• So I have been ill lately and a bit starved of vitamin D and fresh air so I stuck my be'lakor shirt and combat boots on and went for a walk by myself. One guy said hello to me. Nobody usually bothers saying anything when I have metal shirts on. I went through the fields, down some farm tracks, Found some neat little trees I could do pullups off, and looked around some pockets of forest. I even saw 3 deer bombing it through some farmer's fields. I think they were roe deer. Sucks how much of the landscape fell to agriculture in this country. So we could get fat  and build up this fuck fest called society.
• Came home and studied, read manga.
• I think I will build Nikolai Tesla's free energy generator for my physics project next year.
• I slept for 3 hours today. No one was up for an accountability call so I did some art.

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: walk
• Mental: studying, learning german, reading, art
• Spiritual: walk, meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• These vibes
• Nature
• Bacon and eggs

What I have learnt from today:

• There's a lot of cool stuff around here even if I am in the middle of no where
• This Qijong shit might work; let's try again!

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to.

Goal for tomorrow:

Get shit done for my project

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

 

[Schwing]

Damn look at all these Chuck Schuldiners. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!!