Testosterone Replacement Therapy 2 Month Self-Reflection Post
This is ~2 weeks before I do blood work and have my first check in with my docor.
Pros: Makes it easier for me to gain weight and muscle but keep body fat. I've gained 10 lbs but my body fat has stayed the same (12%) and water level% is the same, I'm not bloated. It's not a miracle though and doesn't go super fast. I'm at 180lb now. I think it puts me on roughly the same level as someone with naturally higher than average testosterone like some of the teenagers I see on TikTok getting into fitness... not abnormal. I feel lucky that I have access to this kind of progress finally for the first time in my life after trying so hard in the gym for 10 years and feel like my hard work is finally catching up with this missing ingredient. I should be able to have a fit body soon.
Neutral: The biggest change I've noticed is my music taste. I listen to a lot of music and my music has changed to be more aggressive. I'm just metal and hip hop now whereas before I used to enjoy a larger variety of genres including trance and some pop. I now strongly dislike any song with female vocals or whiny boys.
I think I'm becoming more traditionally masculine now, though kind of like a fuckboy. I feel like it's harder for me to be fake nice/polite to people I don't respect or like their appearance. What I used to be able to keep inside is now more likely to seep out. This does not bother me, though it may cause issues for me at some point.
I'm more repulsed by women than ever before. I'm gay and have always only been attracted to masculinity and this has only been heightened even more to a point where I find it hard to take women seriously as equals.
I feel like I always need to be working towards a goal now. I used to be able to go for a walk in nature and feel content and one with the spirit etc but now it feels pointless to do so. General everyday things that I used to enjoy (kind of like a woman) now seem pointless. This really just brings me to going to the gym and playing video games since those have an ingrained reward structure.
Cons: The only negative side effect I'd complain about is that my face is flushed red most of the time. I've always had rosy cheeks but now it can look like I have a lightly sunburnt face. Bloodwork will likely show I need to give blood regularly. This side effect started showing up very early, I think even late week 2.
Also I don't think I'm able to feel happiness as strongly as before. I'm more quietly content now, which is different.
My libido has not improved at all, which has been disappointing. I'm on 200mg/week EOD + 500iu HCG.
The residual lumps and swelling after injecting is a little annoying.