The Warrior's Infinite Opus

[Schwing]

142 days

Days porn free: 4

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Nothing

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Not complete! But still did it!

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up late......AGAIN!
• Tomorrow I have to get up early. No debate.
• These past few weeks has just been me going about my routine haphazardly. Doing one thing here and one thing there.
• Got a good bit of studying nailed down.
• Read some of spawn
• Did some more art
• did the dishes

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: 
• Mental: study, art, washing up
• Spiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• People who inspire me
• Sunshine

What I have learnt from today:

• Finish what I started. I chose to become an engineer. I can't turn back now.
• I'm pretty inconsistent. Apart from in being grateful for metal every single day.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Getting up and get studying. I don't fucking care if you are tired. ACTUALLY FUCKING DO IT BALAAGAGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Goal for tomorrow:

Finish your s1 maths papers! DO IT!

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

[Schwing]

143 days

Days porn free: 5

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Nottttttttthiiiiiinnngggg

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Ah fuck! Nope. But I chugged through a lot and I am improving on the topic.

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up late......A-fucking-gain
• Damn I even woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go at 6:30 but I couldn't get my arse out the bed.
• I made all my food myself today.
• Studied a fuck ton
• I listened to SO much stoner rock/metal today it's unreal. I listened to dope smoker twice! Killer workout tune.
• Watched some TED talks.
• Today a lot of my thinking fell into place. My world view seems to be settling on something now

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: workout
• Mental: study, cooking
• Spiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics, meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Thinking
• Being a total weirdo
• Stoner metal

What I have learnt from today:

• Women are needier than men and they are for a reason. It's not sexist- it's the truth. Because of the system, they seek approval from society and what they think is acceptable. They do this instead of seeking approval from the males that populate the tribe. They're wired to be more dependant as this is what secured them to a mate. One asserted (man) and one submitted (woman). Men just went out and killed shit and came back (provided they didn't die), grunted and flexed their muscles. Easy pussy! But no society says: "Hey woman! You're smart! You don't need a family! You just need to work! Make money! Taking care of husband is sexist! Marriage is a commodity! Kids are a commodity! Sex is a commodity!" The system fucks us all! But what the fuck do I know? I'm just a kid that doesn't even talk to women! Ignore me!
• Autism is perhaps a genetic relic of our animal nature and is not a defect speaking in terms of who we are naturally meant to be.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Won't say it again. Get the fuck up on time.

Goal for tomorrow:

Draw comics! Lots of them!

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

Edited April 6, 2017 by Schwing

[Cam Adair]

BOOM

[Schwing]

BOOM

Haha. nice one. Appreciate you keeping up the site and stuff. This may sound cheesy but you changed my life!

You changed conservetard to conservative! Hahahahahaha. This channel is alex jones level though. Good move anyways. Don't want to offend anyone. Politics doesn't come into this.

Edited April 7, 2017 by Schwing

[Cam Adair]

 You changed conservetard to conservative! Hahahahahaha. This channel is alex jones level though. Good move anyways. Don't want to offend anyone. Politics doesn't come into this. 

Legit thought it was a typo. I'm not on top of the lingo these days. haha. 

[Schwing]

143 days

Days porn free: 5

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Crawling out of the undergrowth absolutely drenched on an unsuspecting woman and her dog. unintentionally of course.

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Yes! Check it out

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up late......but one hour earlier than usual
• Studied. finsihed my papers
• cooked some pasta
• watch mushisi episode 1
• went for a run
• meditated by the usual stream. nice spot. very peaceful. I like to splash myself with the water. fun climb up the valley too. that's how I jumped out on that woman. Good thing i didn't get an algae on my head. Would have been some creature from the black lagoon shit going on otherwise
• read some spawn
• Drew some comic stuff
• Surfed forums
• Now to bed!

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: run
• Mental: study, cooking, art
• Spiritual: cold shower, meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Being in a really good mood lately
• @destoroyah for always supporting me with my comics and stuff. Really has helped me grow.
• nature
• cold water
• comics
• cool people on the forums
• cam for finish my case study

What I have learnt from today:

• Good to not care what other's think about you.
• Sunshine, meditation and exercise are the best drugs
• A friend is perhaps something not of this world. Perhaps friends can only be temporary as a passing source of comfort in the long dark. Perhaps our souls are truly alone in this world. And even if they touch another's they may hold onto one another for a time. But eventually slip. For the currents of the material world destroy all things eventually.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Get up earlier.

Goal for tomorrow:

Finish a maths paper

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

[Schwing]

Relapsed like a mothertrucker today (porn)! First thing I did when I got up. Time to get my shit together

[Schwing]

145 days

Days porn free: 0

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• Noooooooooooothing

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Well I did my goal from the day before yesterday yesterday...but i don't think that counts.

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up late.....GAH then relapsed to porn!
• Felt depressed for the first time in fucking ages
• Mood swung the other way
• Was supposed to work out today but I thought "nah i just wanna draw"
• read some of physics book. SO BORING
• Cooked
• Did washing up and blasted this from CD on stereo. Sounds so much better than through a shitty speaker or headphones. Last track is a killer. I WILL RETURRRRRRRN
• drew and listened to this. very chill. got some post rock vibes. pretty videogame-esque so watch out you don't get triggered.
• Drew a shit ton. Pleased with outcome. Cyborgs don't need dicks! They just need to kick ass!

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical:
• Mental: reading, cooking, art
• Spiritual: meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Chiptune or whatever the fuck it's called
• Comic books!
• Trying to become a real man

What I have learnt from today:

• Porn filters just make me want to bypass them by simply being there
• Getting better at making comics fast. Enjoying it too.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Shift your arse out of bed

Goal for tomorrow:

Work out

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

[Schwing]

146 days

Days porn free: 1

Album of the day:

Today I left my comfort zone by:

• I GOT EARLY HAHAHAHA FINALLY

Routine:

• Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
• Bioenergetics
• Cold shower
• Meditation
• 50 exp duolingo
• Physical activity
• Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Yup. Blasted some spaceslug at the same time. Makes me feel like a battle slug on psychedelic steroids flanked by his brothers in gastropod arms on either side, ready to slay the enemy and lay down their lives in the name of the great cosmic slug queen! TO BATTLE! IN SLIME WE TRUST!

Thoughts and Feelings:

• Got up super early. made porridge.
• Studied but didn't get a lot done tbh.
• I spend way too much time sitting at the computer.
• Got tempted to buy some merch today! Too bad! Need to save up for a bike.
• Read some of the necronomicon. Felt tired so I went to sleep...for 3 hours. So much for getting up early.
• Worked out
• Coloured in comic page

 Tasks and achievements:

• Physical: workout
• Mental: reading, cooking, art
• Spiritual: bioenergetics, coldshower, meditation

What I am grateful for:

• Metal
• Spacesluuuuuuuug
• spicy chicken
• being a complete fucktard!

What I have learnt from today:

• Don't buy anything. £100 a year that's it

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

• Running around screaming outside

Goal for tomorrow:

Do 2 tech papers

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

Edited April 10, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

Gah! How to embed youtube videos?

Edited April 10, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

<iframe width="500" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k9LgYzrtgx0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

that's the code i get from copy paste

[Mad Pharmacist]

Oh, you're using Duolingo I see...

I used it for a long time, but then I decided to switch into Memrise.

Memrise is more focused on flashcards rather than translating sentences and articles.

But if you want to feel more motivated, you can give me your nickname, so I'll follow you in Duolingo!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

[Schwing]

Oh, you're using Duolingo I see...

I used it for a long time, but then I decided to switch into Memrise.

Memrise is more focused on flashcards rather than translating sentences and articles.

But if you want to feel more motivated, you can give me your nickname, so I'll follow you in Duolingo!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Been slacking off lately. My nickname is Schwing as always!

[Schwing]

146 days

Days porn free: 3

Album of the day:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/m9QLYGq3A2c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Still trying to figure out how to embed fucking videos!

Anyway. Cutting down on the journalling. Just a small paragraph. Yesterday was awesome. Felt a bit down but I got out for a run and bolted it across a field screaming "FAAACCCKING SLAAYYYAARR!!!!! WOOT!!!" Saw two people out for a walk so I smiled at them as much as I could. They probably thought I was fucking crazy or something. Anyway, got some drawing done yesterday too. 

Edited April 12, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

148 days

Days porn free: 3

Awesome day. Tried to go for a run but my leg went. I fucked it up yesterday somehow. So I went for a walk instead. Went through a field. No one in sight. And just like yesterday I screamed "fucking slayer!" as loudly as possible! Got shit done. Studied. Made new comic page. Read some spawn too. Damn I love comics. Takes me so long to make one panel though. Still got a lot to learn.

 

Edited April 12, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

149 days

Days porn free: 4

Gud day. Got up late but I don't care. Studied a fuck ton! Worked out. Finished comic page and sketched the main character. Please with how my art is coming along getting better every day. Been getting into hiphop of all things. Check this shit out. Just a chill day with no worries. I like days like these. Like life is just flowing and I can accept it, lay back and float down the river. Been embracing pain a lot lately. Slamming my face into the stream of the cold shower right off the bat. Lifting til the end the set even though my arms felt like they were going to drop off! It's those cold showers! Boosts your pain tolerance!

He will fuck you up! He looks asian for some reason...but that means he knows kung fu. So watch out!

[Schwing]

150 days

Days porn free: 5

Average day. Got up late and studied. read some spawn. taking a rest day today. Thinking about how my comic is going to work. I have a load of notes written down. Been battling through porn and masturbation urges like a beast. Going to work now. 'til next time!

Here's a shitty poem I wrote some time ago:

A Man thinks;

He toils his mind to seek truth

He looks to the heavens and sees

Infiniteness

He looks to the earth and sees

Finiteness

But when a Man looks to himself he sees

He is twofold

A Beast of the earth

An Angel on the heavens

It is this that is his

Gift and Demise

His truth is that of two kindreds

The truth of Life

[EDS]

Read a fair bit of your journal and it's awesome how much you've progressed! I'm glad to see many people have gone through what I'm about to do now and it's worked out well. What's the hardest thing you've had to deal with through all of this in-case I have to deal with it.

[Mad Pharmacist]

Schwing, I added you on Duolingo! Maybe you'll make me using this website again!

I really like your drawings and sketches. That's how you're making progress right now.

But how about expanding your comfort zone? Are you still taking actions that makes you more confident?

That's important to do one day a the time, because you'll feel regression otherwise.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

[Schwing]

Schwing, I added you on Duolingo! Maybe you'll make me using this website again!

I really like your drawings and sketches. That's how you're making progress right now.

But how about expanding your comfort zone? Are you still taking actions that makes you more confident?

That's important to do one day a the time, because you'll feel regression otherwise.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hi!

That's not me! Shit! I just checked my name is actually Schwing3

It's the holidays so I don't have much opportunity to go out and expand it. But the other day I ran through a field screaming as loudly as I could.

Edited April 15, 2017 by Schwing

[Schwing]

Read a fair bit of your journal and it's awesome how much you've progressed! I'm glad to see many people have gone through what I'm about to do now and it's worked out well. What's the hardest thing you've had to deal with through all of this in-case I have to deal with it.

Hi! Yes old journal me was a very different person.

For me, I would say it's not giving a fuck! In life you have to accept there are some things you cannot change. That your suffering is intertwined with your pleasures. Life is handed to you on big platter so you better eat up and then lick it clean - gristle and all. At first I was always self conscious and weighed down by my past actions which resulted in low mood and self esteem. The trick is not to care. To live every moment with a smile on your face because you know you are alive and you can do awesome things! To free your soul and let it run free as a child would. And that is quite hard at first because we have been conditioned to shut up and act 'sophisticated' from the very start. But when you do you feel like a lion amongst sheep. A very crazy lion. I struggled with finding my purpose. But your purpose isn't something confined to discrete material things. It's something you feel. I think my purpose is to act as a channel for all the beauty of the universe to act through. Hence, I must liberate my mind from the arbitrary constructs that we create as humans.

[EDS]

Read a fair bit of your journal and it's awesome how much you've progressed! I'm glad to see many people have gone through what I'm about to do now and it's worked out well. What's the hardest thing you've had to deal with through all of this in-case I have to deal with it.

Hi! Yes old journal me was a very different person.

For me, I would say it's not giving a fuck! In life you have to accept there are some things you cannot change. That your suffering is intertwined with your pleasures. Life is handed to you on big platter so you better eat up and then lick it clean - gristle and all. At first I was always self conscious and weighed down by my past actions which resulted in low mood and self esteem. The trick is not to care. To live every moment with a smile on your face because you know you are alive and you can do awesome things! To free your soul and let it run free as a child would. And that is quite hard at first because we have been conditioned to shut up and act 'sophisticated' from the very start. But when you do you feel like a lion amongst sheep. A very crazy lion. I struggled with finding my purpose. But your purpose isn't something confined to discrete material things. It's something you feel. I think my purpose is to act as a channel for all the beauty of the universe to act through. Hence, I must liberate my mind from the arbitrary constructs that we create as humans.

That's an awesome way to put it, but yeah it's where I want to move to, not giving 2 shits about anything and just loving what I have and who I am. What I'm trying to do is not going to be easy for me I know that for sure but being happy not matter is something I dream I will achieve  Letting myself out and not hiding it is something I'm gonna do, I think if this is the only thing I achieve I will be so much better off, no hidden secrets or shyness don't give a fuck what people think about as you being happy is the most important thing of all (not in a selfish way though)

 

[Schwing]

So I didn't post yesterday because I went to see a movie and got back late. Ghost in the shell! I enjoyed it! Scarlet johansson has a nice arse! But in all seriousness I think they managed to translate the essence of the original movie into a hollywood action style viewer friendly format quite well. Stunning visuals throughout too. Very interesting to look at.

So yesterday I studied, got bored, worked out and made a comic page. That's about it really.

[Schwing]

152 days journalling

Days porn free: 7

Got up late today! Shit I keep doing that for some reason! Cooked a HUGE lunch today. There's a guy in my village who keeps sheep and one hung itself on a kiddies rope swing so he butchered it and gave us some meat! Made a nice roast dinner. Smelt like poop though. Maybe it shat itself when it was dying? Spoooookkyy! Listened to some warhammer 40k audio book. Fucking hard to follow when you don't know shit about warhammer! But intriguing! Then I did rowing machine and watched the original ghost in the shell movie. Again, REALLY FUCKING HARD TO FOLLOW. But I enjoyed it the same. Addresses many aspects of life in the same movie. What do we define as identity when we ourselves are organisms constantly changing cell by cell, thought by thought every single day? Isn't this our sole purpose: to evolve and survive? So why do we cling to what we perceive to be our own individuality when we are simply a component in a great seething mass of a greater the mechanism of our species, and that this uniqueness we exhibit is a mere variation for the sake of survival of the species as a whole. Aren't we humans simple constructs made to evolve as is technology is? Perhaps the essence of humanity is the denial of this machine like behaviour.

Drew a bit, and now I'm going to bed. 

Nothing like a good takeaway whilst deflaking a mech suit! Better wash your hands first though. Don't want motor oil in your noodles.

[Schwing]

153 days journalling

Days porn free: 8

Studied a fuck ton today! I have been neglecting it quite a bit. I hate studying. "Here kid, learn this crap you will forget immediately after you leave school that is unapplicable to whatever job you're going to do anyway later in life. But you need it for these little arbitrary symbols called grades so you can slap it on a piece of paper and get into a good university! Trust me, you need to learn how to integrate y to infinity and find the half life of a protactinium sample. It's those symbols! You need them! Regurgitation is salvation!". There's a world of difference between being academic and skillful. Academic is the being able to compute. Skillful is being able to create.

Read some spawn. Went out for a run. Ran through a field and screamed: "YEAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!! WOOT!!!!" as loudly as possibly. Went to the same old stream and meditated for a while. Forest has a different vibe when it's been raining. More earthy; darker with deeper greens. Going to read a book and go to bed now. Byeeeeeeee.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Schwing