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The Warrior's Infinite Opus


Schwing
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I really like your journal layout Schwing, very smart way to break down the end game into a lot of daily goals and plans. Do you mind if I copy it for my journal?

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I really like your journal layout Schwing, very smart way to break down the end game into a lot of daily goals and plans. Do you mind if I copy it for my journal?

Thanks! Go for it.

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  • Came home worked out. Tried to lift 10kg each on dumbbells! Fuck my life. never trying that again.

 

What kind of movement are you doing that the 10kg dumbbells are giving you trouble with? I feel like you should be able to handle the squat, stiff legged deads, lying press, and bent over rows with that weight.

Lying flies, overhead press, lateral raise, bicep curls, lying tricep extensions, and the abdominal crunches are going to be killer at that weight. I've trained for years on and off and still really only use 5kg for flies, raises, and extensions.   You can work the overhead press and curls up, but some of those other movements just have too much physics working against you. =p

I tried a squat but I couldn't support the weights with my hands properly and they curled inwards. Maybe bad positioning? I'll try again tonight and let you know.

Ya bum! You can't jump in like this. Keep it simple and train with like 3-5kgs (I'm talking about using 2 dumbbells) max the first months (go for repetition). Except on bench press and flies (10kg+ ok, because here you are laying on your back and abs+back aren't that much required and chest is a very "hungry" muscle)

It's just about form in the beginning. Just use the bars or very light weight. Use a mirror to check form.

Bent over back stuff: Just the bars and no weight – or very very little. (You will damage yourself permanently otherwise!!)

Squats need abs and legs trained! With short handles: leave them hanging on the sides. With big handle bar: rest it on your shoulders. Wrists can't curl in this exercise?

sexymodel.thumb.jpg.f81f8f944de48bf3fc3d
(keep your back straight at all times and your abs under tension. 90° leg bent for starters – more is desirable, do more than 90° without weights only though, at first. also, shift your butt, don't let your knees go past the tip of your toes when looking from above. look ahead and keep a highly masculine facial expression. Training without a shirt also helps, so does thrash metal and queer pants. Refer to sexy German model)

DON'T DO DEADLIFTS

Also wrists are a big problem in handling heavy weights. Be careful and maybe get wristwraps. Do stupid pushups and shit.

No heavy weights. Max repetition the first few months. Also you are only 17? Your body is not ready yet for stupid heavy lifting. Train core stuff. Pushups and situps, planks, squats – some girly yoga stretching. you can't have done enough yet!! I trained like 6 months (daily jogging at 2,5-5km and abs/back + stretching) before I even touched a dumbbell (I was very slow and careful, yea, but I know what I'm talking about. I started at age 27 and had never done sports before, besides school)

 

Edited by destoroyah
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I don't even know right now. At least in video games there was no big question. You just played and dreamed no bigger than the screen. Nothing meant anything and anything meant nothing. Why does anything I do even mean to me? What do I even believe in? Who do I want to be? I'm sick of asking questions with no answer. Everything is instant gratification when you keep changing everything up to feel better. That's life isn't it? Making shit up so you can feel better about yourself. What does it even fucking mean to be alive. If it doesn't matter where I'm going then why do I give myself direction at all. I'm sick of being a tessellation of hobbies and interests. Is that all I am? Do I even have a purpose other than to do dumb shit? Sometimes I wish I could believe in a god, or politics, or just helping other people. Every time I try I am just confronted by a mass of contradiction. Do I truly believe in nothing? Fuck this. I'm going to bed.

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You're doing great man. The program you looked up is very effective. As a teenager you'll see gains very quickly if you're consistent.

 

DON'T DO DEADLIFTS

Some people are going to offer shitty advice. DON'T DO DEADLIFTS is shitty advice. The end. Even if it's well intentioned, sometimes you're going to get advice that's out of date, or simply from people who heard something once and never bothered to look into it again. The "common knowledge" that you shouldn't lift when you're young is because of a study published in 1983 that's since been debunked 1000 different ways. Believing that growth plate injuries can cripple a person, or any other nonsense is akin to being an anti-vaxxer. My mom at age 59 did 55 deadlifts @ 57kg for crossfit workout 17.4 last week, then she did a ton of other shit! I deadlift every week as part of my committment to the 90 day detox. Feels fuckin' great.

Use youtube to make sure your form is good. Go to your school gym and ask a coach to critique it, or a football guy, or anyone you know.  I know you're challenging yourself every day to talk to 3 people you wouldn't' normally talk to. Under the right conditions, talking to someone in the gym about form could make you a workout buddy at best, or at least get you some good tips on the spot and someone you can give a nod to as you go on about your day.

You've been climbing. Your wrists will be strong. - You do your program 3 times a week, keep upping the weight a little bit each week. - You'll get strong. Hell you can see in my journal week 1 my deadlift was 66KG. - My latest was 89KG. - 23KG progress in 5 weeks by doing my program 3 times a week. It's very similar to yours. There is no evidence that weight lifting inhibits growth in teenagers. NONE whatsoever.

Have a strong body means that if you decide to follow the course of becoming an engineer, when you sit at a desk for a lot of the day you won't get a sore back. You'll have more energy for your life outside work, and that typically translates into a better quality of life.

Every time I see you post, you're trying to be better. It's inspiring and it's great follow your journey man, it sucks getting discouraged sometimes, don't let the haters bring you down. Hope you got a good sleep and and back to kicking ass tomorrow.

 

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@Simms You're right. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, I will be more aware of it in the future. Thanks for being part of this community and demonstrating me to grow, it's good to see my limits every now and then, and be inspired by someone that has surpassed them.

Edited by destoroyah
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Previous post wasn't directed at anyone. I was just having a mild existential crisis and I thought it might help if I wrote about it. Feeling a bit better. But still confused.

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134 days

Days porn free: 17

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Talking to 3 people I don't usually talk to

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

None set. but my goal this week is to get my studying nailed

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • No journal post yesterday. I was having a bit of a breakdown. I didn't know what my life was going to be. I have an idea now and I feel great about it. I am saving up for a motorbike and I'm going to go some places. So that means no splashing out on CDs and metal merch. I have enough of the shit.
  • Got up late again. Damn my streak is growing. Unlike my duolingo streak. i need to keep on top of that.
  • I haven't been reading at all lately either.
  • I felt super indifferent today at school. Like i didn't know what I was doing. Now I feel a bit different about life let's see how I feel tomorrow.
  • Went for a run. tried running on my toes more. It's the natural way we are adapted to run. Sucks with my shoes though. Should buy some thin soled ones
  • ALMOST finshed coursework. Damn things feel like they are coming together. easter holidays on friday then studying for exams then i'm off to sri lanka with school
  • I have had SERIOUS porn urges these past few days. I absolutely crushed them!

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: run
  • Mental: studying, uni stuff
  • Spiritual: meditation

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • This
  • My newfound dream
  • My mum for paying for my trip to sri lanka

What I have learnt from today:

  • I have something to live for now
  • Everything is in the dream

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Instead of reading manga and listening to metal at breaks- talk to other people.

Goal for tomorrow:

Get on duolingo

Goal for the month:

Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

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So I've been on a 3 da hiatus- or should I say slow dark descent into bad habits and other crap. I relapsed on nofap. I betrayed my oath and everything and everyone I swore it upon. Every single fucking time my mind just blanks out and I do it. I hate it but I just forget. Well I also started to get depressed for the first time in fucking ages. Coincidentally I started getting up late and going to bed at stupid times. Not taking cold showers, or bioenergetics or working out. Just doing shitty school work. Shit week.

What do I even give a fuck about? Why do I even get out of bed in the morning? This dream I have of traveling and shit. Maybe that's just a pipe dream. Maybe every dream is a pipe dream but we have to keep puffing on it or we get withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms of not having the distraction from whatever arbitrary shit you are doing.

Do I want to make people happy? Why would I do that when people just make me sad? I even try but I suck at it. Even if I tried hardest and did it through art or some shit then I wouldn't be able to make any money and live...

Fuck I hate this system. Are we bent on persisting materially or pushing ourselves spiritually? MAKE YOUR FUCKING MIND UP!!! What do you want me to fucking do? Get a job and just make money? Use your wonderful opportunities to live for what I love? Follow my dreams and all that shit? I would rather be running around with my dick out. With my tribe on the open plain. At least the only thing that mattered was the survival of you and your kin. But now I have to make my life fucking matter! This sucks!

All my dream is built on is the idea of running away. Escaping all this shit. Escaping this living breathing machine. I'll probably forget later. I'll probably just escape into whatever shit I find to distract myself with. I bought a metal hammer mag today. Came with a free slayer poster. And the black Dahlia Murder restocked their merch. Maybe all I am made to be is an android who eats and shits numbers,  hooked up to a drip. Injection of fantasy straight to the bloodstream. Maybe in the future we will beat this system as a race- reach some sort of technological nirvana. If the elite let us that is or we don't die a miserable death in the process. I suppose thats just life. Our collective innermost desire. Hope for a better future- a nirvana. But when we attain it what happens? When a man has all the riches he desires what then? When the Cygnus corporation discovered all the secrets of the universe what then? When Griffith attained his dream what then?

Sometimes I wish I didn't have the mind to think about this shit all the time and just live my life for random thing xyz.

Anyway for now I am going to sleep and just do whatever it is I'm doing with my life tomorrow.

Peace and fucking slayer

IMG_20170331_232841560.thumb.jpg.635ec69

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For the first time in my life i actually understand fight club.

They are slaves to the system. With nothing to hope for and nothing to care about. The main character is so insane he creates a projection of his innermost desire. To be a subversive bad ass who roams the world making a living doing random shit in a shitty house. He hangs around prostate cancer meetings so he can relish in their depression and feel like he has a reason to be depressed himself.

He then creates fight club and the programme to give purpose to his and the others lives. To let go. They take down the system in the end and just rip it all to shreds

Edited by Schwing
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138 days

Days porn free: 0

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Nothing

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study or read 1 hour
  • Art 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

None set. but i started working out again

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • I'm back! Fuck I relapsed on porn twice. I have decided I can't beat this on willpower alone. A warrior needs to use his wit and plan his approach. I'm charging my phone downstairs from now on from when I close the blind in my bedroom. I've also stuck software on my pc and phone so I can't watch porn. I made it to 20 days this time. Let's double that. Holy shit I just realised I relapsed one day before I would fulfil my monthly goal.
  • Today I got up pretty late but I was working late last night so ye.
  • Rethought my workout. Put some really brutal wrist stuff in there.
  • Slayed on duolingo
  • Made a case study for my detox for the site
  • Read some of my physics book. So confusing.
  • My mum bought me a book about this guy that went round the world on a motorbike in 4 years. (jupiter's travels) Should be a good read.
  • Relapsed to porn today!
  • Did a little art

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: workout
  • Mental: reading,art
  • Spiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics, meditation

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • Easter holidays
  • Relapse for showing I was weak
  • People for supporting me

What I have learnt from today:

  • I can't beat my porn addiction on willpower alone. There is a demon inside me and it will do anything to gain control.
  • I have to keep consistent with my routine. it's not just for show

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Going to see my dad for the first time in 2 years.

Goal for tomorrow:

Be open around my dad. Entrust him more with my emotions.

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

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Welcome back bud! Try not to beat yourself up too much about relapsing, but do focus on what you can learn from it. I remember someone telling me many years ago when I was under training that - "It doesn't matter about the mistakes you made, but how you recover from them."

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"Fall seven times, get up eight." Don't see it as defeat, you managed significantly more days than last time. Battles are not won by strength alone, but also by endurance. You can do it!

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139 days

Days porn free: 1

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Seeing my dad for the first time in two years

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

Did it. What a fucking mouthful. He was pretty unfazed though.

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • Got up as late as I could. Been getting lazy lately. I was aching like a priest's testicles this morning (hahaah I just made that up. pretty good right?). But then BOOM. Did some basic stretches (scapular shrugs and shoulder rolls). GONE.
  • I went to see my father today. I understand him a lot more now. I still feel a little reserved around him though. He is a total nutcase! Totally free spirit. Most retarded sense of humour I have ever encountered. He started singing opera and reciting the tibetan alphabet as loudly as he could in the middle of the kitchen. HAH. I would have joined in if I wasn't so insecure. Damn.
  • There's a lot of cool people at that buddhist centre. maybe I will go for a weekend just for that and the nice area. Everything else sucks there though.
  • Learnt a lot today. Too much to share right now.
  • Came home and watched some shitty movie. The Equaliser.
  • Going to bed now. Going to study tomorrow and hammer down my sleep cycle.

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical:
  • Mental: learning tibetan
  • Spiritual: cold shower, stuff

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • My father ejaculating me into this cruel world all those years ago. I'm not even being funny. I'm grateful to just be alive. I'm grateful I am who I am by his design.
  • He gave me 200 quid. Going straight to my travel fund.
  • Sunshine
  • this

What I have learnt from today:

  • Stuff
  • My laptop is still unprotected from porn SHIT

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Getting up and studying. I don't fucking care if you are tired.

Goal for tomorrow:

Do some art.

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

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141 days

Days porn free: 3

Today I left my comfort zone by:

  • Working out whilst still having really sore arms from being given vaccinations injected yesterday

Routine:

  • Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)
  • Bioenergetics
  • Cold shower
  • Meditation
  • 50 exp duolingo
  • Physical activity
  • Study, Art or read 1 hour

Goal from yesterday done?:

None set

Thoughts and Feelings:

  • Got up late again! Shit!
  • Felt pretty sluggish today.
  • Studied a bit. There's a lot I need to plough through this easter.
  • Worked out.
  • Sketched out another comic page
  • My mum had a foot operation today so I cooked dinner instead.
  • Started reading Spawn. On page 9 so far. Fucking sick!

 Tasks and achievements:

  • Physical: workout
  • Mental: study, art, cooking
  • Spiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics

What I am grateful for:

  • Metal
  • Todd Mcfarlane
  • This

What I have learnt from today:

  • Starting to feel like I actually want to make comics. I can do that in my free time though. Let's hope work doesn't eat me up when I start.

Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by:

  • Getting up and get studying. I don't fucking care if you are tired.

Goal for tomorrow:

Add some colour to comic page

Goal for the month:

Study hard for exams. Beat nofap

Edited by Schwing
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There's a lot of cool people at that buddhist centre. maybe I will go for a weekend just for that and the nice area. Everything else sucks there though.

What sucked about it? I really want to visit a Buddhist centre or temple. They look like calming places you can centre yourself, filled with unassuming people. 

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There's a lot of cool people at that buddhist centre. maybe I will go for a weekend just for that and the nice area. Everything else sucks there though.

What sucked about it? I really want to visit a Buddhist centre or temple. They look like calming places you can centre yourself, filled with unassuming people. 

Basically- the centre is run by an extortionist cult. My great uncle geshi kelsang gyatso is the figurehead behind it. What they do is lure young people in saying shit like "don't bother with and education! don't bother getting a job! it's unimportant! just come here and pay for these amazing courses that will enrich you spiritually!". But then they end up falling out with their family and everyone in the cult and they get cast out with no life, no money, no qualifications no nothing. They don't let you have any books there other than those made by geshi kelsang. it's total censorship. Plus the whole place stinks and all the food in the kitchen is rotten.

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