Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

Quit for 90 Days? Post here!


wookieshark88
 Share

Recommended Posts

Feel very happy that I get to contribute to this thread.

I ticked over to 90 days today.

5 things I have learnt:

1) Dopamine can come from being productive as well. You don't need to be recreating to feel good, you can also feel great from accomplishing chores or tasks, or helping other people.

2) All these quotes about "living life" are talking about being in the moment. Put your phones down. Turn the tv off. Just enjoy being where you are and what you are doing. If you're not enjoying yourself, then move. Don't wish, do.

3) The flow state is a powerful thing. Gaming generates a flow state which is why you really feel like you're achieving something (spoiler: you're not). Exploiting the flow state is a force multiplier for development/productivity.

4) The earlier you get up, the more you can achieve in a day. Not just based purely on extra time, but forcing yourself to get up early and get on with life puts you in a great mindset for the rest of the day, and results in you living deliberately.

5) That this is only the beginning. As cheesy as that might sound (and it's a few song lyrics), 90 days only scratches the surface. We can't stop here, it's like eating an appetiser and you need to push on for the main course.

  • Like 1
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

+1 I think I can allow myself to feel happy for a couple of minutes. The greatest achievement is, that I am less anxious, less afraid of games and even conversations about gaming. I don't get nervous when I walk past the PS screen in a store or when I notice someone on a bus playing a game that I used to enjoy. Now when someone talks about playing games I don't feel left out, angry, nervous and I don't feel like I'm missing a big part of reality or our world. I just feel like it's this "thing" that I don't want to do anymore.

I am still trying to find something meaningful, something I'm good at, (or) that I enjoy. My activities are a bit scattered at the moment but I hope I will soon find something that will stick.

  • Like 1
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/15/2017 at 8:43 PM, Zala said:

+1 I think I can allow myself to feel happy for a couple of minutes. The greatest achievement is, that I am less anxious, less afraid of games and even conversations about gaming. I don't get nervous when I walk past the PS screen in a store or when I notice someone on a bus playing a game that I used to enjoy. Now when someone talks about playing games I don't feel left out, angry, nervous and I don't feel like I'm missing a big part of reality or our world. I just feel like it's this "thing" that I don't want to do anymore.

I am still trying to find something meaningful, something I'm good at, (or) that I enjoy. My activities are a bit scattered at the moment but I hope I will soon find something that will stick.

Go Zala!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Yeeee, I made it.

1. One day at a time. THIS. Win the day, focus on the day. Stay in the moment.

2. Get my out of the house.

3. Find a place you can be yourself.

4. Say everything you feel. Do not keep holding those emotions on.

5. I like books.

  • Like 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/31/2017 at 9:39 PM, ChewyChickenBones said:

Yeeee, I made it.

1. One day at a time. THIS. Win the day, focus on the day. Stay in the moment.

2. Get my out of the house.

3. Find a place you can be yourself.

4. Say everything you feel. Do not keep holding those emotions on.

5. I like books.

Way to go! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Ninety days and no gaming.  Today is Day 91. 

Thanks to everyone for their valuable insight and responses to some of my older posts.  I really appreciate it.  Without your help, I think I would have failed.

Here are some insights that I gathered from my journey.  I hope it helps others in the future.

1.  Daily journaling has helped me stick to my goals, even if the goals are very small.  It created a habit.  I personally like checking off the tasks I completed each day, and also to reflect on my emotions that I experienced throughout the detox.  I wrote in a private journal on Penzu for the remaining 60 days.  Usually, I'd write in the morning when I woke up, to maintain a routine and to regulate my sleep. 

2.  Sleep is so under-rated.  Sleep is invaluable.  If you can get that under control and stick to it, you will probably experience many benefits such as higher productivity, less brain fog, more energy, and general wellness overall.  I know we all have busy lives, but  'enough' sleep is essential for a foundation in well-being.  Not everyone needs eight hours, though, keep that in mind.  After quitting video games, I had to focus on my sleep regime because excessive gaming completely messed up my energy levels, concentration at work, and made me feel more depressed.

3.  I wrote a list of 50 reasons why I quit video gaming.  Every day I'd add something to the list until I reached fifty reasons.  Every now and then, when I had the urge to game, I'd re-read that list.  I admit that I had strong urges to login to an MMORPG while doing this detox.  I don't know whether it was nostalgia creeping in, or a craving for dopamine again.  Maybe it was both.  This happened at Day 65.   It was really difficult to resist the temptation.  The one thing on my list that popped out was "gaming affected my sleep patterns", thus a downward spiral.  Maybe that was my salvation. I just knew I could not afford to screw that up again because it would potentially ruin my career.

4.  I returned to indoor hobbies that I enjoyed before I was introduced to video games.  I never grew up with gaming.  I enjoyed crafting and art work, or spending time outdoors hiking and exploring.  I even owned  a small business on Etsy.  The last time I relapsed was during winter when it was difficult to go outside and leave the house.  I just wanted to stay inside where it's cozy and warm.  So, during my detox,  I knew I had to find other hobbies to do besides gaming, and I started doing my crafts again to prepare myself for the days when I'm stuck inside the house.  At least I am producing items  that I can show to people and talk about, versus talking about my achievements  in a video game.  Crafting and working with my hands gives me a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment, even though it does take longer than the immediate gratification of a video game reward. 

5.  I don't believe that video games are ultimately bad.  I think they can be used in moderation, just like any digital entertainment available at our fingertips.  But I also think that certain individuals are susceptible to the addiction of video gaming.  It's about finding balance in life and assessing what type of person you are.  If you failed over and over again with moderation, and succumbed to excessive gaming, then video games should not be part of your life at all.  For those of us who want to try moderation, I think it's about prioritizing what's important in your life, and putting video games at the bottom of the list.  Basically, become your own parent, or ask others to intervene if you start falling down a slippery slope.  I think you're also accountable to other people, not just yourself.  Ask yourself the questions, "Why am I playing video games right now?  Am I just bored?  Am I isolating myself from other people?  How can I moderate this?  Am I feeling down or depressed?  Am I getting enough sleep?  Do I really need to play this game right now, or do I have other tasks that I need to finish?  Am I procrastinating?  Basically, if you're turning to video games as a means to cope with life's problems, it may be a dangerous choice to make. 

6.  The journey is not about 'not failing'.  We are all going to stumble and fall over and over again in life.  What's important is learning from our mistakes, reflecting about our behavior patterns, and implementing small changes that will help us succeed in the long-run.  I resent that the media instills a pathetic picture about 'failure', that if we fail we are ultimately losers.  That is not true.  How many great and historical and present-day people have failed in their life time?  Think about it.  I'll bet you can list at least ten.  If you fall down, get up again and again.  That is the reality of life.  We become stronger every time we fail and get up again. 

Peace.

~ Dannigan

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

In all its shortness: I completed my 90-day detox today. What a feeling, woah!!! ?

Always happy after such "long term" accomplishments - especially with my nature which usually leads to quitting decisions that require a time span of more than one week.

Cheers!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
  • 8 months later...

Hit 90 today. My five points:

  1. Quitting started out being pretty hard, and became progressively easier as time passed. This gives me a lot of hope for quitting other things I consider to be very difficult to crack.
  2. The biggest initial takeaway was how my approach to time changed. In the past, if I had free time I’d just kill it on games pretty much instantly and without thinking about it. Now I’m learning to try and think about using my time in a more productive way, to invest in myself and my future. There’s still a long way to go in this department but it’s a start.
  3. Quitting games is only the first step. There’s so much more to learn, like how to be productive and get things done even when I don’t feel like it. I’ve learned how to break tasks down into the smallest possible parts so I can get them done one thing at a time.
  4. I can see how I used to use games to mask and manage my negative feelings. Now there’s a lot of them floating around that I have to earn to come to terms with, or to express in healthy ways at the gym or by meditating.
  5. Overall I can see this is just the first step and there’s still so much more to change about my life, but at least now I try to spend most of my time in the real world 

Honestly it’s been a weird day and I feel a bit down... but I guess there weren’t going to be any fireworks. This is just the beginning.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 10 months later...

Hello all,

Today marks the end of my 90 day detox, and I'm feeling great, but also know that there is a long (but exciting) path still ahead in this journey. I want to share my experience with my detox and a summary of what led me down this rewarding path.

I started gaming at the age of 3 back in 1997. Ever since then, gaming had been my main hobby and what occupied the majority of my thoughts day in and day out. Even though I participated in sports and marching band throughout school, I only used these activities as a way to satisfy my parents so they would be fine with me playing more video games. This theme dominated pretty much every aspect of my life: Achieving just enough to barely scrape through and satisfy my parents and teachers, but favoring my gaming at every opportunity possible.

That being said, my story with toxic gaming never involved a "rock bottom," or ultimate failure that pushed me to finally quit gaming. The fact that I was passing school, went through college, and even found a good job in my field of study made it all the easier to ignore and deny my problems that were constantly impeding my potential, quality of relationships, and overall feelings of worth. "I make money, exercise every now and then, and pay rent, how dare you say I have a problem!" It took me through most of college to realize what I was: A functional game-aholic.

After my initial realization that my gaming was a serious problem, I began my first attempt to quit... then my second, and third and so on. My attempts to quit usually occurred when I got mad after losing an online game (and trolled) or realized I had been playing for 8 hours or more in one sitting, usually forgetting meals. "That's it, I'm quitting forever. No more gaming ever again!" I would delete my data, sell the games I had beef with, and begin my new life... that usually lasted 2 weeks before moodiness, restlessness and boredom prevailed. Then came the bargaining: "Well, if I just manage my playing and promise to not get upset, I can still game." It never took long for a full relapse. "Why should I quit? I've got my life together." The damage that my problematic gaming was causing was subtle, easy to lock away, but real nonetheless. And the cracks started to spread.

The last straw for me came recently after a relapse. My wife (who has been so patient and supportive throughout this process) told me how lonely she felt because of my gaming. I would talk to her without really talking to her (pausing Skyrim for 5 seconds to respond as quickly as possible so I could keep playing). I finally realized: "I could lose the most important person in my life if I continue this cycle. I could wake up in 20 years and realize in horror what I've chosen to spend my time, my effort, and my potential on. No more."

I attribute 2 reasons this attempt succeeded over the others:

1. I had a vision and wrote down clear reasons for why I wanted to quit.

2. I sought out support (shout out to Game Quitters).

This 90 day detox has been a fantastic, difficult, and often not fun experience. During quarantine (where I also work from home), I have dealt with powerful gaming nostalgia, dangerous bargaining, and pressure from my friends to buy Halo on steam (to the point where they said they would buy it for me). I've often felt bored, sometimes sitting on the couch instead of working out or doing other hobbies. I've felt frustration when starting a new hobby and thinking: "gaming was way more fun and pleasurable than this! I'm not even good at *insert new hobby here*!" However, despite these negative feelings, I now look at myself in 3rd person and realize these things:

1. My relationship with my wife has improved dramatically.

2. I eat more consistently and healthier.

3. I go to bed, and wake up on time.

4. I read the news and have been learning more about the world.

5. My professional aspirations are making real progress.

6. Despite all of these difficulties. I truly feel better

My biggest take away from this success is to seek out continuous support throughout this process. My wife and Game Quitters media were my biggest supports and motivators to continue on my journey. There are so many of us here who are all working toward the same goal. We must reach out to each other and lean on each other. I strongly believe that this is a journey that should not be taken alone, and I thank Game Quitters for hammering home this point in their messages. From here I hope I can embody the mission of this community to help others including some of my friends who are damaging their own lives with toxic gaming. Thank you for bringing us together Game Quitters.

-Josef

 

Edited by Joesulc
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share