Day 57
Another bit of a stint away from my journal. This time I really struggled to think of anything to write at all. Life has been quite uneventful. Maybe a formal structure would encourage the words to flow in those situations, but I did not enjoy forcing myself to follow a formal structure in my old journal. After a while I abandoned it completely and just went free flowing like I do now (though I do have reflections). I have a few days left and a bit of work to do on my last assignment for the year, so I will be hunkering down and getting as much as I can done on that for the short term so I will be quiet again. I am looking forward to being on the other side of it, so I can increase my running. Though, having said that, I have no done as much as I should or achieved as much as I should over the last few weeks by cutting down my running anyway. It has not been a productive few weeks, so while the detox continues it has not been super successful. I am also strong on avoidance lately as well, so while I have removed my avenue to 'escape', my brain still looks to do it, so I have only been treating the symptoms and not the underlying problem, whether that be a lack of discipline or some other issue.
I was much more elated with this milestone! I think there hasn't been much change since the 28 day mark, though part of that could be because I haven't forced myself to reflect as much as I was back then, so I am not paying enough attention to it.
Distances have been steady over the last week, averaging around 15-25km per run, six days a week. I have not done a marathon yet, but that is all about to change next week, with two planned in short succession if the legs can hold up. This will be marathons 31 & 32. I like the idea of doing 42, so then it will be 42 x 42km. I wonder how proportion of the population has done that many. I remember seeing an old runner a few years ago in the Sydney marathon doing his 100th. I thought to myself, less than 0.01% of the population has done that. Unlikely I will join him at this pace, but you never know. I think there is too many other things I want to achieve now that it will take me some time to get to 42.