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Dannigan

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About Dannigan

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  • Birthday May 15

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  1. Dannigan

    Escape to reality day 110

    😊😊 Well done and good perspective about your progress. Sometimes progress isn't a straight linear result. So true. There are dips and peaks!
  2. Dannigan

    JustTom's Journal

    Can I join the bandwagon of embarrassing posts? I write some pretty intense stuff sometimes on this forum. Most of which I actually deleted. I guess I have an intense writing style, but to be perfectly honest I'm only writing what I think about at that exact moment. Maybe that's why I felt embarrassed because after I reread the post, it comes across as either blatantly insane or really super intense. But, that's just me as an online persona, I guess. Meet me in person and I'm rather reserved. When we write our shit online, seriously, it's like a catharsis....to me it's my dumping ground when I write in my journal. I do have to be mindful about responding to other people's posts because I get too heated up lol. So, yeah, I have to 'rehearse' what I'm going to write down. I hope I'm getting better at it. Also, I think you've had a series of small successes within the 40 days or so, of not gaming. It wasn't all a failure. I have failed many times in my life too, and so have others. There are hills and valleys in life. We can get through it. The hardest tribulations will pass eventually. We just have to wait out the storm, seek help if we're feeling low, share our thoughts no matter how hard it is, and remember that you are never alone. Reach out if you need to. Sincerely, Dani
  3. Dannigan

    Life is not about an IMAGE

    Thanks for the perspective, @Some Yahoo. That is true.
  4. Dannigan

    Changelog - 07/05/2018

    Thanks! Nice changes so far. I like the side bar which shows who's online, the latest posts, newest member who joined. Very easy to locate, nice set-up. That's great about the name change. Looking forward to the alternate theme.
  5. Dannigan

    The Grind (60 days on Discipline)

    A surgeon in the hospital I work in is pretty damn good looking and apparently intelligent too. But he's really humble and I always see him dressed in scrubs. Some folks are blessed with good looks. I have a bias that all attractive people are self-absorbed. I'm trying to disprove that because I think I avoid talking to certain people who are especially attractive. ?
  6. Dannigan

    Sharing my story of social anxiety

    I'm really impressed with the progress you made, Philip. What you did was smart. You put yourself in situations that forced you to socialize. Folks, socializing is not a skill we are born with. That's a fact. You must put yourself out there where you're forced to talk to others. You'll fumble and bounce around the right words to say, but over time, and through many encounters with strangers, you will create a certain 'script' in your mind that you can easily whip up to engage other people in a conversation. You can be creative too. One tip I use is to focus on something I admire about the person. Their appearance, the way they talk, the way they share a story. And then I comment about it, and say something positive about it to them. A genuine and nice comment. Open questions are great as well to keep the conversation going. Don't worry, you'll feel like a weirdo doing this, but over time and with practice, it will be easier. We don't just talk with our voices. We communicate with our bodies too, and our facial expressions. The thing is, when people succumb to the 'easier' route of socializing online with people, especially in a video game, you are losing out on practicing so many other social cues and you are short-changing yourself. So, kudos to you for acting brave and facing those anxieties straight-on! I could use the same advice myself, especially when it comes to the dating scene in my future. There's a person I have a crush on at work, but I'm too shy to even make eye contact. It's that bad. :( Anyway......that's another story, and I won't hijack your thread.
  7. Dannigan

    Life is not about an IMAGE

    I have two nieces that I adore. Sometimes I get concerned that this narcissistic culture will impress upon them when they get older. I'm not saying that having goals to become wealthy or successful are bad things. But I think a lot of it is accomplished to glorify our own selves. I guess it just gets too superficial, that's all.
  8. Hi, I thought I'd bring up this topic because of the culture that we now live in. At least the Westernized culture. Image-focused-people. Sorry, but I fuckin' hate image-focused people. Maybe hate isn't the word to use. It's too strong a word. Naw. I'll use it. Okay fine. I think I just detest the way our culture is becoming self-absorbed. I mentioned before that I am a person that cares about my own appearance. Don't get me wrong. It's mostly about personal hygiene, and looking presentable to others. The moment I start caring too much about how I look like, somebody slap me in the face with a black silk glove. When did our society get so carried away with selfies? Posing a certain way to look THINNER on camera or in pictures. Getting the lighting JUST RIGHT so that your best facial features on your LEFT side stand out and you can ERASE that hairy mole under your chin using whatever goddam photo editor available at your convenience. You gotta have a nice car. A nice house. A beautiful girlfriend or boyfriend. Beautiful friends. Forget the uglies. They tarnish your image! Don't befriend them! Forget the people who aren't successful in life! They have no value to you! They can't teach you anything! Just flock around people who are the best in everything they do, and are ONLY successful in life. What a world.
  9. Dannigan

    ☆☆Waves become wings☆☆

    You're doing awesome, CrystalLake. :) It was nice to read about your update. ~ Dani
  10. Dannigan

    Relapse again and again.

    Hey there, Maybe look at it a different way. You can pat yourself on the back for being cognizant of your gaming addiction, and for stopping it, even though you did relapse. Your mindfulness is a strength. Place your focus not on the relapse, but the goals that you want to achieve. That should be 85% of your focus. Write them down. Visualize the person you want to become. Write that down.
  11. Dannigan

    [Legendary?] Mad Pharmacist

    I'm glad you're restarting another journal. I've noticed many people are doing the same thing after their 90 Day detox. This community is small, but the support is great. You and others have inspired me to start another journal again on Game Quitters. Mine won't be a daily entry. It's more spontaneous and irregular. I have another private journal I write in, and keep track of my weekly/daily/life-time goals. But I still think it's important for me to stay connected with this forum, even if I can't read everyone's journal or the additional information. Keep going with small daily goals and replacing gaming with activities that you 'enjoy' and that give you a sense of accomplishment. Relapsing is always at our fingertips, and it can happen to anyone. I always keep a mental picture of myself in my head wherein I'm sitting on my arse in front of the computer screen for hours and hours, 12 hours passes by and I'm still sitting there, my arse is now numb, and I can't feel my legs, plus I haven't showered or brushed my teeth. Okay, yeah, it's a pretty grim picture, right? But whenever I think about it, I just want to hurl. That's not the person I want to become. And then my mind switches to the type of person I'm motivated to become. A person who achieves, who is a good saver, a family-oriented person who spends time with loved ones and friends, a good cook who likes to try cooking different recipes, someone who is well-travelled. This is a picture of myself in my mind that I envision from time to time. It's encouraging. You are the only person in your life that can change your life. :)
  12. Hi Dannigan, I noticed you sent me a message that completely got by me, I am so sorry. It would be great to connect if you had a moment.

     

    1. Dannigan

      Dannigan

      Please ignore that mail. Appreciated, thank you.

  13. Hello all, I completed the 90 days of detox and trialed an experiment with moderating my gaming on Day 91. In the end, it was a failed experiment. After work, I had a bit of time left in my evening, a few hours before bedtime. I had finished preparing tomorrow's lunch, doing the dishes, catching up with the latest local news on television, and even had a cup of herbal tea to relax myself. It had been a tiring day at work, and I just wanted to chill out. Next to my keyboard sat one of the many knitting projects I had been working on these past several weeks. I turned on the computer and logged into my favourite MMORPG. This time around, I filtered out all of the social panels so that it resembled more of a single-player game atmosphere. At this point, I just didn't want the nuisance of communicating with others in a game, especially to be used only as their 'tool' to get what 'they' want out of a game, whether that's speed-leveling, completing tasks or just wasting my bloody time talking to me about every-day shit that I could care less about. NO thanks. My only purpose to login was to explore that beautiful virtual world again. This is the question that was on my mind during detox: Am I craving the dopamine effect? Or is this just a feeling of nostalgia? To make a long story short, it was a brief experiment. It only took me half an hour to revisit some fantastical places that I used to frequent, to enjoy the atmosphere, and appreciate the artistry of this virtual world. Thirty minutes is all it took. And during that half hour, my eyes flicked back and forth from my knitting project to the computer screen. I was actually craving to work on my crafting project instead of gaming! I was floored. So, it was a mixture of knitting and also glancing up at the screen for the next hour or so. I ended up AFKing in the game because I was so focused on my knitting. Additionally, I noticed that my back started to ache, and I was developing a slight headache. And then my thoughts led to, "Oh great. What kind of tasks do I have to complete in this game to get to the next level, and how bloody long is it going to take? I have to sleep soon!" I was frantically looking at the clock and becoming more irritated as time ticked on. I was getting angry at the game because I remembered how much of a time sinker it is. Especially MMORPG's. In summary: 1) I took out the social aspect of the game to reduce wasting time talking to complete strangers who are 95% of the time annoying AF. 2) I began experiencing physical pain within an hour of gaming, manifested in a headache and back pain. 3) I began to feel annoyed, irritated, and bored. Resentful memories popped up in my mind. 4) I became more interested in finishing my knitting project instead. So, in conclusion, I don't think it was a dopamine fixation at all. It was only a lingering feeling of nostalgia and quickly fixed within thirty minutes of aimless wandering about in a virtual world. I think the 90 Days of not gaming helped reset the chemical imbalance, and also normalized my reaction when I'm exposed to too much visual stimulation. Like, for example, in the past I would have to game for hours to feel 'euphoric', for lack of a better word. But during my recent experiment, my body reacted very badly within merely thirty minutes of logging in. I felt sick. What I found the most interesting is that my cravings switched to a different hobby: knitting. Anyway, this is anecdotal evidence, at best, but I hope that what I wrote will provoke some reflection for people that are thinking about moderating their gaming after they finish the detox. I know that it didn't work for me but mainly because I lost interest and have other hobbies I am focusing on. Logging into that MMORPG just wasn't as exciting as it used to be. I'm wishing you all good progress in your detox and a prosperous new life! ~ Dannigan
  14. Dannigan

    Quit for 90 Days? Post here!

    Ninety days and no gaming. Today is Day 91. Thanks to everyone for their valuable insight and responses to some of my older posts. I really appreciate it. Without your help, I think I would have failed. Here are some insights that I gathered from my journey. I hope it helps others in the future. 1. Daily journaling has helped me stick to my goals, even if the goals are very small. It created a habit. I personally like checking off the tasks I completed each day, and also to reflect on my emotions that I experienced throughout the detox. I wrote in a private journal on Penzu for the remaining 60 days. Usually, I'd write in the morning when I woke up, to maintain a routine and to regulate my sleep. 2. Sleep is so under-rated. Sleep is invaluable. If you can get that under control and stick to it, you will probably experience many benefits such as higher productivity, less brain fog, more energy, and general wellness overall. I know we all have busy lives, but 'enough' sleep is essential for a foundation in well-being. Not everyone needs eight hours, though, keep that in mind. After quitting video games, I had to focus on my sleep regime because excessive gaming completely messed up my energy levels, concentration at work, and made me feel more depressed. 3. I wrote a list of 50 reasons why I quit video gaming. Every day I'd add something to the list until I reached fifty reasons. Every now and then, when I had the urge to game, I'd re-read that list. I admit that I had strong urges to login to an MMORPG while doing this detox. I don't know whether it was nostalgia creeping in, or a craving for dopamine again. Maybe it was both. This happened at Day 65. It was really difficult to resist the temptation. The one thing on my list that popped out was "gaming affected my sleep patterns", thus a downward spiral. Maybe that was my salvation. I just knew I could not afford to screw that up again because it would potentially ruin my career. 4. I returned to indoor hobbies that I enjoyed before I was introduced to video games. I never grew up with gaming. I enjoyed crafting and art work, or spending time outdoors hiking and exploring. I even owned a small business on Etsy. The last time I relapsed was during winter when it was difficult to go outside and leave the house. I just wanted to stay inside where it's cozy and warm. So, during my detox, I knew I had to find other hobbies to do besides gaming, and I started doing my crafts again to prepare myself for the days when I'm stuck inside the house. At least I am producing items that I can show to people and talk about, versus talking about my achievements in a video game. Crafting and working with my hands gives me a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment, even though it does take longer than the immediate gratification of a video game reward. 5. I don't believe that video games are ultimately bad. I think they can be used in moderation, just like any digital entertainment available at our fingertips. But I also think that certain individuals are susceptible to the addiction of video gaming. It's about finding balance in life and assessing what type of person you are. If you failed over and over again with moderation, and succumbed to excessive gaming, then video games should not be part of your life at all. For those of us who want to try moderation, I think it's about prioritizing what's important in your life, and putting video games at the bottom of the list. Basically, become your own parent, or ask others to intervene if you start falling down a slippery slope. I think you're also accountable to other people, not just yourself. Ask yourself the questions, "Why am I playing video games right now? Am I just bored? Am I isolating myself from other people? How can I moderate this? Am I feeling down or depressed? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I really need to play this game right now, or do I have other tasks that I need to finish? Am I procrastinating? Basically, if you're turning to video games as a means to cope with life's problems, it may be a dangerous choice to make. 6. The journey is not about 'not failing'. We are all going to stumble and fall over and over again in life. What's important is learning from our mistakes, reflecting about our behavior patterns, and implementing small changes that will help us succeed in the long-run. I resent that the media instills a pathetic picture about 'failure', that if we fail we are ultimately losers. That is not true. How many great and historical and present-day people have failed in their life time? Think about it. I'll bet you can list at least ten. If you fall down, get up again and again. That is the reality of life. We become stronger every time we fail and get up again. Peace. ~ Dannigan
  15. Dannigan

    Gaming is past is zenith?

    Yeah I haven't played too many online games in my lifetime. Just one MMORPG, Skyrim, and FallOut New Vegas. I got bored of Skyrim and FallOut pretty quickly. The one game I lingered in for five years was an MMORPG. I stayed in it partly for the social aspect, and also because the freakin' expansions they kept adding on provided me with a glimmer of hope that things would change. But it became the SAME GRIND, the relentless time-consuming tasks and deeds to complete, and the forced grouping for raids. Now that I think about it, I also believe I left that MMORPG because I was just SO FREAKING FED UP of all the damn grind. And the raiding. My God. That was a mind-numbing experience. Anyway. I won't get into that. It was just....brutal to my mind, my body, and screwed up my sleep patterns. So. I join you in the rant that yes....they all suck these days.
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