Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

Dannigan

Members
  • Posts

    560
  • Joined

About Dannigan

Recent Profile Visitors

2919 profile views

Dannigan's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

579

Reputation

  1. ?? Well done and good perspective about your progress. Sometimes progress isn't a straight linear result. So true. There are dips and peaks!
  2. Thanks for the perspective, @Some Yahoo. That is true.
  3. Hi Terry, Welcome to GQ. It's a good community and many caring folks here. First off, congrats for realizing that you're becoming bored with gaming, and deciding to make a change in your life, with a focus to improve yourself. It also takes courage to step away from a gaming community. This is a nice segue leading to my next question. Do you consider your Discord community as 'friends'? I have to ask this hard question because the social aspect of gaming is what keeps people playing these games. Cam Adair has a video about how to keep friendships with your gaming friends even though you no longer play video games. I don't have the link, but you can look it up on YouTube. I would be prepared to face some resistance at first, from the community. These people are gamers, probably for life, and there will always be some sort of friction when a community member leaves and focuses on other life goals. So, just expect that at first. Eventually, they may start to accept your decision, and you may be able to maintain friendships with some individuals. How do you start? And where do you start? Well, what do you want to accomplish? List your short-term goals. List your long-term goals. Heck, list your weaknesses and whether you want to improve or overcome them. Smoking cessation may be a long-term goal. How are you going to achieve this? Write this down. Write down ALL of your future goals, go away to some quiet library or home study area, and spend the afternoon reflecting on how you want to improve your life. 1. Journaling is an amazing way to focus on short-term goals, reflect on your progress, write down your most personal thoughts, re-read your previous posts. You can start journaling on GQ if you want support, or you can choose to write in a private journal. Your choice. I find that staying connected with this community has helped me over the last year. 2. Rewarding yourself after you complete a goal. Doesn't matter if it's a small goal. Reward is a motivator. I recommend reading The Power of Habit. This book sheds light on what TO DO to change your habits. One of the best books I've ever read for self-improvement. 3. Watch some of Cam's videos. Or listen to podcasts related to quitting gaming. 4. Get a calendar, and write in your daily goals, or weekly goals, monthly goals. Have a time-line that is VISUAL reminder. Basically, you're gonna be revamping every thing in your life eventually. Start with one small habit to achieve, which is your cornerstone habit.....get that one habit down, and the rest will follow. Anyway, that's my two cents worth. Take what you need and leave the rest. It's doable. It's just a matter of taking action. Action FIRST, then motivation follows. Never the reverse. ~ Dani
  4. Thanks! Nice changes so far. I like the side bar which shows who's online, the latest posts, newest member who joined. Very easy to locate, nice set-up. That's great about the name change. Looking forward to the alternate theme.
  5. A surgeon in the hospital I work in is pretty damn good looking and apparently intelligent too. But he's really humble and I always see him dressed in scrubs. Some folks are blessed with good looks. I have a bias that all attractive people are self-absorbed. I'm trying to disprove that because I think I avoid talking to certain people who are especially attractive. ?
  6. I have two nieces that I adore. Sometimes I get concerned that this narcissistic culture will impress upon them when they get older. I'm not saying that having goals to become wealthy or successful are bad things. But I think a lot of it is accomplished to glorify our own selves. I guess it just gets too superficial, that's all.
  7. Hi, I thought I'd bring up this topic because of the culture that we now live in. At least the Westernized culture. Image-focused-people. Sorry, but I fuckin' hate image-focused people. Maybe hate isn't the word to use. It's too strong a word. Naw. I'll use it. Okay fine. I think I just detest the way our culture is becoming self-absorbed. I mentioned before that I am a person that cares about my own appearance. Don't get me wrong. It's mostly about personal hygiene, and looking presentable to others. The moment I start caring too much about how I look like, somebody slap me in the face with a black silk glove. When did our society get so carried away with selfies? Posing a certain way to look THINNER on camera or in pictures. Getting the lighting JUST RIGHT so that your best facial features on your LEFT side stand out and you can ERASE that hairy mole under your chin using whatever goddam photo editor available at your convenience. You gotta have a nice car. A nice house. A beautiful girlfriend or boyfriend. Beautiful friends. Forget the uglies. They tarnish your image! Don't befriend them! Forget the people who aren't successful in life! They have no value to you! They can't teach you anything! Just flock around people who are the best in everything they do, and are ONLY successful in life. What a world.
  8. Much appreciated, Philipp lol....maybe I have agoraphobia. I don't like large groups of people. Even when I played an MMORPG, I preferred the smaller servers. My current workplace is smaller too, thank God. I guess bigger groups make me frustrated because there's too much to take in. I get really frazzled and I could care less about connecting with people when it's too much noise and hustle. Sometimes I feel like I want to escape and seek shelter. It's not that I'm socially anxious, it's just that it's like sensory overload. Hope that makes sense? I really do enjoy my friend's company. I don't see her that often but when we get together, it's like time never passed. I can be myself around her, and she knows so much about struggles I had in my past and sometimes I still struggle with certain things. But around her, I feel no judgement and I don't have to re-explain everything. It's been really tough for me to connect with people I've met recently. And I noticed that it's just about personalities that clash. I am a quieter person compared to most people, introverted, and an observer. I'm only outgoing with people that I know very well. The other friends I am close to are my in-laws. Like my brother-in-law is my best male friend and of course my two sisters are friends for life. We hang out as a group and it's been that way for years. It's comfortable and....safe. I'm content in my life with a smaller social circle. Maybe that's all I need right now. I don't need multiple friends. I can also appreciate my solitude, a MUCH NEEDED break from the energy of other people, even those I am closest to. If I had enough money, I'd purchase my own island where I can go whenever I feel the need to 'get away from it all'. When I watched the movie Castaway....I felt envious! lololol. Even though he was in complete isolation, I was like, "WTF dude, enjoy it for a little while!". Anyway. I'm happy as a clam right now. I'll still put myself in social groups like Meet-ups and such, every once in a while. I only joined the hiking group primarily because it's safer to explore new and tougher terrain and hiking areas instead of going there by myself. If I find the large groups too overwhelming, I typically just branch off to the side and enjoy a quiet walk by myself, or talk to one or two people every now and then. Very low key and no pressure to talk to people. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the nature in silence.
  9. Hello, A childhood friend of mine moved back here several weeks ago. I told her about my former gaming addiction, and thankfully she was very kind and understanding. After I told her about it, I didn't bring up the subject again. She promised to be a good sounding board if I ever slip back into that habit of gaming, if I felt comfortable confiding in her. So far I've been feeling good about my life without video games taking over precious time. The problem I'm having is that I think I'm shutting myself out from other potential friends. I do attend a few odd Meet-up groups for hiking and crafts, but I haven't felt comfortable lately with the people I'm meeting in these groups. In fact, the most enjoyable and meaningful moments are when I'm with my close friend, even if we don't see each other often due to our work schedules clashing and that I'm just too tired to exert that much energy after a long day at work. Has anyone felt this way? I think I'm just closing myself off and accepting the few friendships that I have nowadays because these people are 'familiar', and we've shared some emotional stories with each other over the years. I feel like my close friends are like family, and I'm happy just to have this small circle of them. But, that also makes me feel less motivated to meet new people who could become better friends over time. Problem is, these group meet-ups are difficult. It's hard to develop rapport when it feels like I'm competing with the largeness of the group setting. Should I just focus on nurturing the friendships I have now, and ditch the thought of making new friends elsewhere? I find this way easier, because I'm not over-exerting myself to meet strangers and waiting for the moment to possibly connect with someone in person. Whereas, I can just hang out with the people that I know very well. Is this healthy? Or am I just shutting myself off from potential friends? I appreciate any feedback or advice. I don't know if I can be objective about this. :(
  10. You're doing awesome, CrystalLake. :) It was nice to read about your update. ~ Dani
  11. Hey there, Maybe look at it a different way. You can pat yourself on the back for being cognizant of your gaming addiction, and for stopping it, even though you did relapse. Your mindfulness is a strength. Place your focus not on the relapse, but the goals that you want to achieve. That should be 85% of your focus. Write them down. Visualize the person you want to become. Write that down.
  12. By the way, I am guilty of being aggressive and hostile in a multi-player game. I deeply regret those moments, and upon reflection, it's not the person I wanted to become. I certainly didn't want that behavior to seep into my off-line life either. I was mostly irritated with people who'd ask me to level them up (speed level), or insta-grouping with me without my agreement, and other stupid things that were a waste of my own time. I felt like a tool, and I just became resentful, I guess. Anyhow, I digress. If you start getting upset in a video game like that, it's time to hit 'pause', and reflect. It's not healthy. Ultimately, I ended up quitting the raiding, and hung out by myself exploring the virtual landscape until boredom caved in....and then....I eventually quit video gaming. It just wasn't satisfying anymore once the social aspect was removed, and the grinding to level became unbearable.
  13. Hi Zeke, I like this question. I can only speak about my personal experience, so here it is. I started to do some raiding in an MMORPG. I was never a raider before, so had to learn about game mechanics pretty quickly and understand my role in the group to succeed as a team. There were many factors in the game that irritated me. Things like people not showing up to the scheduled raid, gamers that put other people down for their lack of skill, having to redo a raid over and over again to acquire better gear, armour, etc. So, the culmination of crappy things happening to you, despite being prepared, and the fickleness of people created a ripe environment for people to become aggressive. I'm not saying this is okay, but I noticed that transformation even with gamers who are 'nice' when they aren't raiding. When I joined a dragon boat team, we were aggressive but channeled it towards the physical part of the sport. We were frustrated when we had to conquer stormy weather and waves in the ocean, but the pent-up aggression was channeled towards our paddling. With video gaming, you have NOWHERE to channel this negative energy. You are stagnant, sitting down on a chair, and you cannot exert this energy elsewhere except by 1) swearing / cursing at yourself or others 2) blaming yourself or others 3) throwing the mouse at the wall 4) trashing your PC or keyboard 5) having a hissy fit that lasts as long as a 3-year old throws a tantrum. That's just two cents worth. Take it or leave it. :)
  14. Hi Dannigan, I noticed you sent me a message that completely got by me, I am so sorry. It would be great to connect if you had a moment.

     

    1. Dannigan

      Dannigan

      Please ignore that mail. Appreciated, thank you.

  15. Hello everyone, One of the major setbacks in addictive gaming is disrupted sleep, and irregular sleeping patterns. I know that many of the GQ members are also students as well. I have been there and done that. Post-secondary education or high school demands so much of our attention and energy. Some people also have classes during evenings, which creates another obstacle to developing and maintaining better sleep habits. I work full-time on a regular schedule, five days a week consecutively. This does help, but I'll aim to provide solutions for anyone in any circumstance they are in. 1) Choose a reasonable time to go to sleep every single day. The goal is to go to sleep at exactly the same time every....single...day. Choose a reasonable time to WAKE UP in the morning (or evening if you do shift work). It must be the same time you wake up every single day. 2) Remove all digital devices from your sleeping quarters. That includes cell phones, folks. No computers in your bedroom or television. 3) Use an alarm clock instead of your cell phone. 4) Do not use the computer just before going to sleep. Computer use should ideally be turned off at least one hour before bed-time. 5) No caffeine at least three hours before sleeping. 6) Create a relaxing environment in your bedroom. If your bed is uncomfortable, for chrissake buy a new mattress. If your room is messy, get off your ass and clean it up. Also, your room is not a bloody kitchen. So, quit eating in it. It's a place of REST. Make it feel like your sanctuary. If you're a student, don't study in your room. Go to the library. Or study in the dining room. 7) Use essential oils to help relax you before sleeping. There are some oils that are safe to apply on the skin, particularly on the temples, on your wrists, behind your ears. Eucalyptus, lavender, vanilla, those are recommended to help you relax. I would avoid citrus oils because they are used more for stimulation and energy. 8) If you simply cannot fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night, get UP out of bed, walk to another room, and meditate there, or read a boring book. Then return to your bedroom. If you are still awake until the sun comes up, stay awake and continue with the tasks of the day. DO NOT TAKE A NAP. When night-time rolls around, and it's closer to your bed-time, your body will crave sleep. But for the first week or so, your body will be resisting the new designated bed-time. 9) Use a sleeping mask if you are light sensitive. 10) Use ear plugs if you are sound sensitive. 11) Wear comfortable pajamas. 12) Do not go to the gym one hour before you have to sleep, if you can help it. Some people may feel energized and unable to sleep. Others may feel fatigued. Figure out what type of person you are and change your habit accordingly. 13) Don't worry if you are still struggling with sleep habits within a two week time period. Remember, the goal is to get to sleep at the same time every...single...day. AND to get up at the same time every day. Yes, that includes weekends too. 14) Try to drink water a few hours before you sleep, otherwise if you drink liquids closer to bed-time, you'll be waking up to take a piss in the middle of the night, and that will derail your sleeping habit pronto. Trust me, it happened to me several times. Lesson learned. 15) People have social lives too and go out partying late into the evening. That's fine. But remember that it may cost you a few days or a week to settle back into a sleeping regime again. Depends on each individual. So, maybe keep the partying to weekends or the days when you're not working or doing too much schoolwork, so that it doesn't interfere with productivity. 16) Listen to relaxing 'white noise' music CD's if that will help you. Keep the volume low enough that you can just drift off to sleep. 17) Document your sleeping patterns using a Sleep Journal. Try this for two weeks and observe your behaviour patterns. Eg. Why did I get up in the middle of the night? Was I hungry? Thirsty? I went to a get-together last night and came home late, so I was extra tired in the morning. I studied late into the night. I was watching tv or playing on the computer late. 18) Take melatonin every day for maximum of two weeks. This is a natural hormone your body makes, but the supplement can also be helpful as a short-term fix. 19) Make sure you have comfortable pillows. I noticed there are pillows created for various positions of sleeping. Eg. sleeping on your stomach, on your side, on your back. 20) Take note of the temperature in your room. Is it too hot? Too cold? What temperature is right for you to get to sleep? 21) Meditate an hour before bed-time. 22) Buy a light 'dimmer'. I bought mine from Ikea and it works like a charm. If anyone else has more to add to this list, feel free to post your suggestions. Hope this helps. ~ Dani