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Everything posted by giblets

  1. I hear a lot of podcasts advertise betterhelp.com They might be cheaper than seeing a professional in a clinic as it's entirely online.
  2. It sounds like you need help mate. Have you seen a therapist?
  3. Mate the fact that we're on this website means that we do not have the ability to regulate. Your plan of only playing a few hours a day is not going to last, as soon as your brain gets that hit of dopamine and enters the flow, you're not going to come out for hours. What you've described as needing more and more is exactly the feeling that alcoholics and drug addicts get, and guess what, they can't regulate either. I would be careful to say you are feeling depressed, that is a very big feeling that you may be confusing something else for. For example, I feel 'happier' when I get to watch
  4. I always feel like my brain is in a vice if I sleep too much. Have you tried monitoring the length/quality of your sleep? I used to use a really good app on Android for years but I can't remember it now, but fitbit and garmin also have ways to track your sleep. It will recommend how long you should be sleeping and what times to go to bed and wake up to get the most out of it. I can also schedule to wake you up in a high point of your sleep so you're less groggy. Try also drinking 500ml of water as soon as you wake up - you will be dehydrated and your brain is running on empty. The ma
  5. That's addiction mate, you love it, thats why you keep doing it, despite the damage or impact to everything else. I gave Pokemon Go there for a while, shortly after my first detox to 'help' me with motivation to get out and run. But I found it constantly took me out of the moment and I wasn't enjoying the run for what it was, so quit soon thereafter.
  6. @stablish I can no longer copy and paste quotes across journals - is there a new trick I need to do?
  7. Practice. You need to train your brain to be still and focus on reading, which is going to take time because it is not the same level of stimulus. A little bit every day and you'll get there. Don't get frustrated that you're not perfect or can't stay focused for eight hours at a time, but rather appreciate that you're improving slightly every day. You can focus for 5 minutes now, try again later for 6 minutes, then the next day for 7 minutes. You've proven you can focus on something for a very long time (youtube etc), so now you just need to redirect that.
  8. Day 58 Look at me go, two journal entries in a row. I've spent a lot of time thinking since my last journal entry, and in the last 24 hours as I try to avoid this assignment. I think I have been spending the last 3 years addressing symptoms, but not the underlying issue. I have done *some* work on the underlying issue, but I mainly have been trying to keep myself distracted or removed from succumbing to the symptoms, that is gaming and procrastination. The real focus of my work should be on avoidance (anxiety). Why do I feel so anxious when tasks come my way and look every which way to av
  9. Sometimes sitting and doing nothing and just thinking nothing can be the most productive of all.
  10. All the best, Comrade Commissar!
  11. Day 57 Another bit of a stint away from my journal. This time I really struggled to think of anything to write at all. Life has been quite uneventful. Maybe a formal structure would encourage the words to flow in those situations, but I did not enjoy forcing myself to follow a formal structure in my old journal. After a while I abandoned it completely and just went free flowing like I do now (though I do have reflections). I have a few days left and a bit of work to do on my last assignment for the year, so I will be hunkering down and getting as much as I can done on that for the short t
  12. We thank you for your service mate! You've got this. There will be good days and bad days, but the end result is the same: rebuilding a meaninful life.
  13. Day 52 Nothing significant to report. Just avoiding study. It's funny that now that I have cut out all the wasting time on my PC/phone, that my brain thinks of other things to waste time on. "Oh hey you should go see that person" or "hey you should read this thing" or "hey you should go do your washing". Don't get me wrong, they are all tasks that need to be done, but it's quite obvious my brain just does not want to sit and study. I have been using the "just sit with it" technique to try and force my brain to focus on it because I won't let it do anything else, but usually work gives me
  14. Mate you're making some huge changes and I am inspired. I remember those initial days where the is so much potential, it was very exciting. I hope you're all good now health-wise. That is one of our greatest assets, our health!
  15. It's a combination of people relapse, or move on with their lives and want to put all artifacts that remind/trigger them of this phase of their life behind them.
  16. Day 50 This assignment is tormenting me. Work has been quite challenging lately so I haven't been able to make myself sit down and study at the end of a long day, which means I am not using whole days and falling significantly behind. My sleep pattern is all out of whack as well, which makes me so sluggish in the morning and less productive. It all feeds into each other, focusing on just one element of life will cause an imbalance in others, or to rectify an imbalance needs help from all the other parts. I keep saying today is the day, but it never happens. The positive thing is that I do
  17. Day 48 Connectivity has been problematic to getting onto the forums, and the routine has not set in enough yet for me to instinctively reach for an offline version instead. I think I have mentioned this a few times before so it's embarassing that I still have not rectified it. I used to journal as soon as I woke up in the mornings, but now I use that time to run, so there is no set other time during the day which I put aside for writing. Maybe it could be a lunch time thing? Go have a sandwich and then retire to the laptop to type away my mind pretzels. I think I might have suggested that
  18. Think how much energy you spent memorising a rotation. How is that rotation helping you in life? You look at someone good at something like this and think "man that is amazing". Whenever I see someone really good at these types of games I think, "Imagine what you could be doing with your life".
  19. I'd never heard of it until Cam's video
  20. Hey bud, welcome to the forums eh. Anxiety is a big issue for a lot of us - and using games to escape is the easy solution or the path of least resistance. If we use games to escape from how we deal with anxiety (or real life problems as you describe it), then they are never going to get better, at best they are going to stay the same. I had similar challenges to you, and was a heavy WoW player, and I realised (most likely with the help of my son) that I was not getting better at dealing with my anxiety or dealing with life because we weren't practicing it, we were avoiding it by raiding
  21. Day 43 Been a very challenging week. It feels like that is the opening line on the majority of my journals. Are the days actually normal, but I am just seeing them more and more challenging? A deeper underlying issue? Or am I again trying to do too much? I am feeling better about the loneliness part, or possibly it might be because I have kept myself so occupied that I haven't sat down and thought about it in detail for a while. I feel a lot better with the big discussion with my friend last week about it, and I feel a lot less like this problem is unique to me because of life choice
  22. Peanut Butter is generally not healthy at all. A lot of the mass produced versions (especially in the US) are made with palm oil and are loaded with sugar. You have to be very deliberate on what peanut butter you consume. The chocolate cups are also high in sugar and palm oil. Thinking peanut butter cups is healthy is like saying that eating jelly/jam is a good way to get your daily intake of fruit. Here is some further reading: Nutritionist ranking PB , Myths of natural v regular PB , Ranking of healthiest PB
  23. ¡Hola amigo! ¿Tu hablas Español? Welcome to the forums. You are in the right place with your goals. I recommend starting a journal, don't worry if it is not formatted and is rambling, it helps so much to get your thoughts out, especially during times of weakness when you feel like you are being overcome with cravings.