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About Max

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  1. Day 12. I've studied for 6 hours 45 minutes today, which is not enough. I also watched youtube for a few hours. This is disappointing. Well, to stay positive almost 7 hours is still better than nothing. I have exams in 40 days and I procrastinated for 2 years straight, so now I have to study like there is no tomorrow. I wake up at 6-7 AM which is too late. I have to shift it to 4-5 AM in a week or so. My study goal from now on is going to be 12 hours a day, I think it'll take a week to get there. Such schedule will leave me 4 hours of free time (considering 8 hours of sleep). Most of it I'll use for breaks between pomodoro sessions. All of this means that I won't have any time for anything else. Which is kinda okay since I don't have anything to do anyway, not having any friends or job turned out to be convenient.
  2. Day 11 of no games. Yesterday I've quit YouTube and everything related to entertainment online. I woke up at 7 AM and studied for 7 hours during the day. I've never felt so productive before.
  3. Yeah, I absolutely agree on this one. After I’ve read Atomic Habits by James Clear I started questioning importance of motivation. I tend to believe that motivation is volatile and in order to achieve something a have to focus on my system (routines) rather than goals. Environment is also a very important factor: right after my last relapse I’ve moved to countryside for a while, away from my gaming PC. So I didn’t play since then just because 1) I can’t, so it’s not tempting 2) I don’t have PC around so it’s not triggering me into an action, I have no cues to bad habits here. Thank you for your suggestion, it was an interesting read. It turned out I’m ISTP-T. Good to know, I’ve learned quite a bit about my likely behavior.
  4. Привет! Рад видеть русскоязычных ребят на форуме, такое тут не очень часто, а за этот месяц ты уже второй. Желаю удачи)
  5. So I've relapsed 3 days ago, fuck. Yesterday I found my old textbook where I was writing about my Overwatch addiction in 2018. And that shit scares me, it's been 4 years since and nothing really changed. I'm still the same, pathetic. I have no clue what I'm really doing in my life. My social life is non existent and I think that shows.
  6. Советом помочь не могу, ибо советчик из меня крайне хуевый, но хочу пожелать удачи)
  7. Day 6. I've played some Minecraft, but I don't consider this as relapse, because I can totally control all my gaming besides Overwatch. I have no plans or desire to play Minecraft today. But I studied for about 2 hours which is disappointing. I want to find balanced approach to studying.
  8. Day 5. I had a walk in the morning right after I woke up and that felt very nice and refreshing. I've planned to do 6 study sessions 1 hour each today, but I've done only 3. Is it enough? No. I will try to do better tomorrow.
  9. Day 4. I overslept and woke up at 1 PM. Done some math during the day, but still kinda lazy fuck. I want to setup a healthy routine. I think going for a small walk after waking up might help, I'll do that tomorrow.
  10. Day 3. I wanted to study a bit in the morning but I overslept. After that I wasn’t home all day. Today was just a nice relaxing day outside. I’ll study tomorrow.
  11. Day 2. I've finished one math block which is nice. I wanted to do a bit more, but I think it's okay for the start. I should manage my time better because I'm wasting a lot on procrastination, so starting from tomorrow I'll set my goals as study sessions with fixed time period. I'll be using pomodoro technique, I already know that it works for me. Also I want to read more in free time, haven't done it in a while and I feel braindead.
  12. Day 1. Last week went horribly wrong, I’ve been gaming nonstop for days. Today I quit again. Just now I’ve received an email with my exam dates: I have math on June 27th and physics on June 30th. Given this much time I have to study like crazy. So I want to try something new and share my study progress in this new journal. Every day I’ll make a post with my goals for the day and reflect what I was able to accomplish. By this I’ll be able to keep track of things and keep myself accountable. That’s it for now, I have to sleep well.
  13. Thank you, Matt. I think I’ll need to experiment for a while to develop a routine that would work for me. And I need time to make a habit out of studying. Now it feels hard and unrewarding, but I think I can figure it out.
  14. I'm trying to make my habit routine pleasurable, I want to enjoy every moment of my life. Maybe it just takes time to adapt to lifestyle without gaming, I'm just something like 20 days in. Thank you, Matt, I'm feeling much better now. Not sure how to change my mental environment while sitting in my room at home. Maybe I have to instantly go outside when I feel urges to play, I'll try this next time. When Overwatch was the only thing I was committed to, I got used to being excellent at what I do and I it felt good. Now I'm committed to studying and I'm absolutely horrible at it. Last few years of high school I didn't understand shit. Now I have to pick everything up from the beginning. Almost everyone, including people younger than me already know all this. I have 5 months until my exam. If I won't make it again, then everyone who knows me are going to be completely disappointed.. again. The only reason I was good at Overwatch is that I played this game 8-12 hours a day for 5 years. That's it, I'm not talented in any way. Everyone on my place could've done this. Maybe I just don't understand something due to lack of experience.
  15. Have you read Atomic Habits by James Clear? If not, I can highly recommend. Currently I'm applying practices which are described in this book. I feel like social media is just a big waste of time and especially I don't like how people tend to show themselves in a better way than they are in real life. It feels like instagram page and real person are 2 different characters. This constant pretending and lie disgusts me. I want something real, not an illusion. When it comes to Twitch everything is very simple. I wrote about it in my diary so I'll just quote it here: "I've almost done reading Atomic Habits, the most important thing I've read so far regarding eliminating bad habits is that you don't really need a lot of willpower and self-control to stay away form it. It all comes to reducing your exposure to cues that trigger the craving. For example, a lot of new people here ask whether it is okay to watch gaming related videos and streams after you quit or not. Of course watching such stuff is the biggest trigger you can imagine, so you start craving to play really hard and it would take a lot of effort to resist a temptation. If you would not watch such content, you wouldn't have the cues, thus nothing will trigger cravings. That's the reason why I relapsed a week ago: I was bored so I decided to watch some Overwatch on Twitch, which immediately resulted in very strong cravings, so after a couple of hours of resisting I gave up and played by making an excuse that I'm ill and can't go outside now, so it's not that bad. That was a good lesson that I shouldn't engage in a behavior that is connected to Overwatch somehow, because it'll trigger a craving." I still use YouTube mainly for educational purposes or something like cooking recipes. I've unsubscribed from everything related to entertainment because it's so easy to start a video and binge watch for the rest of the day. I think that YouTube when not used correctly can cause a big problems with procrastination and just remove focus from what is really important at the moment. I have countless days when I needed to study, but I started watching something on YouTube while eating breakfast and just couldn't stop till the evening. When I quit gaming for the first few times, it was very hard to manage my time. Things were simple when I was gaming all day. Now I have a lot of free time and instead of doing something useful I stated binge watching Netflix, anime, movies, YouTube. That's just not what I want. I've quit because I wanted to put my time in something meaningful, not just waste it in another way.