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Max

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  1. I don't need this forum anymore, I have no desire to ever play a game, I tend to just waste my time reading journals instead of doing something productive. Thank you for all these years, I'm done. P.S. Don't bother to reply, I won't read.
  2. it's is not due to my surgery, I have gastritis as well. Yes, I have to eat at least 3 times a day, of course with a break in between. Meals are medium sized, overeating is especially bad. Depends on the size, at least 3 or more, if more meals, than less portions. I've never had a day of 6 waking hours.
  3. Day 16. Absolutely useless day, I want to forget it and start from scratch tomorrow.
  4. Day 15. Today I finally went outside to the extreme park with my kick scooter. I can say that my endurance has gone to shit. Like after 40 minutes of riding I've got plugged ears. I've got one more month of my light fitness training which I do after surgery, and after that I will do some exercises like cardio and something body weight. My sleep schedule is my biggest issue. Today I woke up at 1 PM. It happens because I can't go early to bed, because if I eat, I can't lay for the next two or three hours. And I have to eat at least 3 times a day, so my dinner is like at 11 PM, so I can only go to sleep at 1-2 AM. All these rules is due to my medical condition. Learned Python for a few hours, less than usual, because I had to figure out other stuff related to my Linux machine (language servers and setting up a backup). Still absolutely no cravings to play. Overwatch 2 is disgusting. Btw yesterday I watched an Overwatch video on Game Quitters YouTube. First 1.5 minutes is literally the story of my addiction.
  5. No idea, I don't count. Usually more than 3 hours a day.
  6. Day 14. I'm making slow but solid progress in Python. Basically my whole usual day consists of 1) waking up 2) fitness routine 3) linux maintaining and configuration (not daily, but most of the time) 4) python. Since my dopamine detox my YouTube usage reduced a lot. I no longer watch stuff in bed. I only watch while eating and while doing fitness. I think it is totally acceptable at this point of my journey. I'm still struggling with spending time outside, I should make a habit to have a walk after I wake up or before sleep. Haven't started meditation yet as well. Overall I'm making some small progress, but very slowly. But I think I'm heading in the right direction, so I'll keep doing what I do and it will lead me somewhere.
  7. I've replied to your suggestion before: And no, I will never neglect sleep to do stuff. If I sleep less than 8 hours, my next day is completely ruined. My goal is to enjoy life and enjoy what I'm doing, not to torture myself. I'm doing at least 4 hours of programming daily just because I like it. On weekends sometimes I'm not at home all day, so I usually take a break. And I see no problems with it.
  8. Day 13. I've been semi-productive, studying for like 4 hours. It's been hard to focus, I'm constantly thinking of something else and it's annoying. Honestly I wish to do another dopamine detox, buy I know that it's not the time currently. I have to try meditation, maybe I will finally find some peace of mind. The weather is shit, so I haven't left the house in 2 days. This is not good, especially because I have almost no food left. I've been also neglecting doing the dishes, which is something I'm very ashamed of. My schedule is still a fucking mess. I have to get my shit together. I know I am able to.
  9. Been there, done that. The thing is, games give you instant gratification, immediate response, while when you do something in real life, it has a learning curve and little to no feedback when you start. For example with programming, learning language syntax is the most boring part. Mostly you just memorize stuff, while not having any space for creativity. Then you start learning algorithms and data structures, which is more fun. And when you start doing your own project programming really shines. You reap what you sow. In my case, I was a top 500 player in Europe, playing competitively both in ranked mode and tournaments with my team. I was in top <1% of playerbase. I was good at what I was doing, I had "friends" in game, a goal to get more ranking points, get even better. When I quit I lost everything. In real life I am no one, with no skills, no education, no work, no friends, sucking and failing at everything I try. During my second or third try to quit I was so depressed I wanted to kill myself. Every night I went to sleep with a hope to never wake up. It's been more than 2 years since I started actively trying to quit, I'm still dealing with all of this. But it gets better with time, you just have to suffer through. If you are an addict, there is no easy way out. Pochatok wrote a very good post about it in my old journal.
  10. Day 12. Short entry because nothing happened and I wanna sleep. Well I watched a part of 2.5 hour weekly news video on YouTube while doing my fitness routine and then eating. Then I started listening to music I like while walking in circles. I felt no motivation to do anything productive at all. But I later thought that if I won't do anything, I will be useless and miserable forever, I'm 20 soon and I lack so many skills and qualities. So I set and started learning Python. First 2 hours were difficult, I was constantly losing focus. Later I've got into it and couldn't stop until 1 AM. So today I've done like 5 hours of programming in total, which is not bad. I still think I need more discipline and consistent schedule. Currently both is just a mess. Nothing else to report, no cravings, blah blah blah. Bye.
  11. Hey, thanks. To be honest 99% of the time I read only technical/science literature, Atomic Habits was the only book I've read about behavior/human mind, not sure if I need anything else at this point.
  12. Day 11. So my 7 day dopamine detox is over. It wasn't perfect, I watched a couple of YouTube videos because I needed a guide to set up some software; I used Discord a lot; I used study with me Twitch stream once on the background; I listened to some music although it wasn't on purpose (in the taxi, supermarket etc); I masturbated daily even without porn (I have a medical condition related to my testicle surgery, so I'm afraid it can get bad if I stop); and today I ate a few candies just because I forgot I shouldn't eat junk food. This detox made me realize how lonely I truly am. I used to always have a YouTube on background when I'm doing chores to keep my mind occupied with something. But without it I'm just left alone. First few days have been especially tough, but later I kinda started coping with it a little bit. On day three or so I started talking with myself, and I realized, that actually cheers me up. My productivity and focus increased drastically, I also started to appreciate small things like the weather, a long walk outside, reading a book. It's been much easier to actually start doing productive stuff. My initial thought was to do this 7 day detox once to get a grasp of what low dopamine life feels like. But 2 days ago I was in a cheerful mood and decided to do 1 month detox almost right after this one. But I think it's not a good idea. I've decided now that I will go slowly, tackling one problem at a time. Dealing with everything at once would be too overwhelming. I've never completed 90 day gaming detox, so I should focus on it first. If I'd succeed, then I'd deal with next problems. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I've made these mistakes before. Talking about gaming, no cravings at all. Completely uninterested. Since Overwatch 1 is gone, my desire to play left me too.
  13. Congrats on 90 days! Big number for sure. You got it mate! Wish you luck with your next goals.
  14. Day 10. Pretty lazy Saturday, I overslept and decided to tinker with my Nokia 3310 instead of studying today. Disassembling it and fixing minor mechanical issues was very easy, I've also cleaned it properly with alcohol. But they hard part is software. The phone has a code for factory reset, by last owner forgot it, so now I have to figure out how to flash a chip with clean firmware. It's doable, but requires some weird things like serial port and Windows 95. Might take me a while to do this thing. Other than that the phone is perfectly usable, I had to buy a new SIM card because my carrier doesn't support 2G frequency anymore lol, and now it works properly. Tomorrow I'll go outside for the first time without my smartphone. Looking forward to starting new, distraction free life. My detox is going well, but I have to admit that I miss listening to music a lot. So random songs sometimes start to circle in my head for some time. When I'm at home sometimes I sing, which is kinda weird, maybe I start to lose my mind. Other than that no huge cravings for something. Yeah, I wish I'd watch youtube while eating, but it's not an issue and just start thinking about random stuff while I eat. Tomorrow is the last day of this 7 day dopamine detox, so I'll try to summarize my experience.
  15. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, you might be right, I'll try to do at least 2 hours every day and see how it goes. On one side it's a great way to build a routine, but on the other I don't want programming to feel like a chore. I genuinely enjoy working with computers, sometimes I find it hard to stop and go to sleep when I'm trying to setup some piece of software. But idk, will try what you suggest for now, I think that it's actually a nice idea.