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Quit for 90 Days? Post here!

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I think it would be awesome to have a place where we can celebrate the 90 day mark of quitting games together!

How about if we post on here the five biggest improvements, lessons learned, or anything relevant you picked up during these 90 days after we hit this milestone?

Maybe there can be other threads for longer milestones (180 days and 1 year), but I don't want to start a thread for a milestone I haven't hit.

I'll start.

I've made it to 90 days, and I feel like I conquered the impossible! This is easily my longs gameless streak in 25 years! I plan to keep on going and celebrate more milestones in the future!

Here are my five points I want to share with everybody:

  1. I am happy! I learned that happiness and entertainment are not the same thing. This is something that I never really thought about until recently. Seek happiness and not entertainment!
  2. Self improvement books are not for losers. I remember watching "What about Bob?" with Bill Murray and getting the impression that I was admitting that I was a loser if I ever read a self improvement book. That image just stuck with me until I got to this site. I read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and my misconception was forever shattered.
  3. Meditation is worth the small amount of time it takes. Learning to be still for a while and carry a sense of mindfulness throughout the day makes me more capable, organized, and energetic.
  4. Happiness is the key to success, not the other way around. Most of my life I felt that getting a degree and a good paying job is success, but it always seemed like some sort of dystopian future deep down inside. The reason I felt this way was because I couldn't imagine myself happy in this scenario. It stressed me out because I wasn't happy in my studies, and thought I wouldn't be happy after my studies either. Then I learned to be happy every day and enjoy my journey through life with no worries for end goal. Enjoy the present moment.
  5. The little choices in life make the biggest difference towards being successful. Heroic efforts are not sustainable. Doing things through willpower is not sustainable. Doing things while unhappy is not sustainable. First, learn how to make good habits. Second, make just one good habit that you know you can enjoy. Third, revel in the good feelings that come from doing this habit every time you do it. Fourth, add another habit once you feel like you got the hang of the first habit. Five, repeat these steps until you are very happy and making progress towards your goals in life.
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Wohooo!!! This is my 90 days game-free post (I made a similiar one on r/Stopgaming too). Quitting gaming has lead to huge change in my life.

Little background story. This is actually my second time trying to quit. I was able to go 88 days game free the last time. I relapsed for five days but realized that I'm better off without games. The relapse was important since it sealed the deal with my previous decision.

The second attempt to quit gaming went a lot smoother than the first one. The first time I hadn't sought new hobbies I was pretty much stuck home watching videos. I was feeling depressed and powerless. The second time I made sure to focus on new activities and habits, and it has really payed out! I got a job for a month, started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and begun to read books. Suddenly I was busy and not doing nothing all day long. My self confidence started to improve rapidly. No longer did I have to fight with the counter, the days just flew by.

These things have helped me and I hope that they will help you too!

  • Keeping a journal! My journal helps me understand my situation. Writing things and feeling on paper makes them feel easier to handle.
  • Books. Really didn't know what to expect first. For instance I thought that reading books about social skills was going to somehow turn me into an unnatural weirdo. I made the decision to give them a shot. Turned out that my stereotypes from self-help books were completely and utterly wrong. They are Awesome!
  • Having hobbies and projects keeping myself busy helps me. I don't mean that packing my calendar full of stuff 24/7 would be beneficial for me but having things to do helps me feel progress.
  • Meditation. I was a bit prejudiced when it comes to meditation too. I guess I was afraid that it will turn me into a person with no feelings. I was wrong once again. It has helped me dealing with troublesome feelings really well!
  • Taking care of my sleeping eating and doing enough sports
  • And last but not least I've got to give a shootout to this website! The people are so awesome here. You guys have given me a myriad of encouragement and advice

I'm definitely going to stick to my Gamequitting journey. It feels as if I have just scratched the surface of this whole thing. My goals currently are to take care of my current good habits and form new ones, to improve my social skills and get better with relationships, and to read more books!

Thank you for reading this and thank you for helping me in this journey. I would like to end this with one of my favourite quote from Duhigg's "The Power of Habit".

Once we choose who we want to be, people grow to the way in which they have been exercised . . . If you believe you can change, if you make it a habit, the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit. The insight that your habits are what you choose them to be. Once that choice occurs, and becomes automatic, habitual, it's not only real, it starts to seem inevitable.

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I had the same prejudices as you! I felt like I had to swallow my pride to try those things out, but now I have way more pride because of them! I tried to hit "Like", but I already liked 10 posts today. This is an excellent post!

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Hit 90 yesterday! Here are my 5 improvements.

  1. Much reduced anxiety. Far less scared of the world now I am more a part of it and my social skills have improved.
  2. Improved health. Going outside more and being able to stick to fitness regimes.
  3. Hope for the future, before I felt like a broken person, like there was something fundamentally wrong, so I was more than pessimistic about my future. Now things are a lot different.
  4. More interesting of a person. I used to get very self concious that my only real hobby was gaming and that I didn't really do anything. Now I actually have some things to talk about when people ask me about myself or what I have been doing.
  5. Generally a lot happier, coming from someone who was very depressed 3 months ago.

Obviously quitting games is only a part of this, it is all the stuff you do afterwards that really helps, but of course big shoutout to camerondare whose articles and videos have been super helpful the entire time. And of course people on this forum and the subreddit.

Didn't know what I was going to do when I got to 90, I only comitted to doing this much, but the answer for now is keep on going!

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Hey I actually reached 101 days yesterday! We're basically an elite group at this point so we should give ourselves a fun group name, like, ''Game Quitters Legends''. Anyway, here's what I've learned over the last 101 days or so:

1. You need social support to make massive changes in your life. Joining this forum & talking to you guys made me remember that I can't be awesome without social support to push me in the right direction. As a teenager, I thought I could do it all by myself, especially since I felt that people in my life were actively trying to stop me from achieving my goals, but now, I've realized that if I'm going against the world, I might as well recruit the world to help me.

2. Don't try to quit any other habits when you're getting rid of an addiction, just focus on refraining from the one thing. Also, you have to want something with every fiber of your being in order to get it. That intense focus & drive is what will make you successful at anything.

3. There's no shame in going online if you can't find the support you need in real life. This is what brought me to this forum; I wanted to make these changes in my life, but nobody in my real life was supporting me in them. And hey, it's 2015, not 1995.

4. Writing stuff down on the Internet, where it stays forever, actually helps massively in forcing you to stay with your commitments. It's almost like you're promising the entire world you're going to do something; that level of accountability kind of forces you to do what you'll say you'll do; it helped me cut down greatly on all of the excuses I was making to myself & others, stop lying, get to the bottom of my problems, & start overcoming them.

5. Self-improvement is a process: it takes time, and you have to be willing to stick with it, no matter how frustrating it gets. If you do, the end payoff will be bigger than you ever thought.

6. Making mistakes/relapsing is not the end of the world; as long as you're not dead, you can always bounce back. This is actually my 3rd attempt at quitting games; my 1st & 2nd ones lasted just under 30 days each. This forum gave me the courage to get up & try again.

Peace out! Btw, check out some new pics of me trying on new clothes at the mall (to celebrate 100 days & make sure I achieved it, I went shopping for new clothes):

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Day 91! Didn't think I'd ever be able to get here and I'm surprised by how easy it was in all honesty. I'm not saying I didn't have cravings, but they were easy to resist. So five things....

  1. I've met a few new people that have really helped. I in turn have helped them with other issues.
  2. I've been on a few dates now, early days on anything else happening with them but It's been rather nice getting out and meeting new people regardless.
  3. I'm reading again! I've finished 4 books over the 90 days, all have been amazing. I recommend them all: I am Death, Girl on the Train, Finders Keepers and Pretty Girls.
  4. Between quitting gaming and medicated ADHD my attention span has gotten so much better at college and work. I'm more relaxed and calm, I listen in turn and speak when I'm supposed to. I've have numerous people compliment my new composure :)
  5. My personal hygiene was questionable at best before this. I am now a reformed man, with a full nightly routine. My skin is looking so much better, I also have removed all the stains from my teeth >> :D << (Gross i know)

Couldn't have done it without reading all of your success stories on here and the Reddit page. Thanks to you all I'm a more calm focused man.

Also the look of surprise on my parents faces when I finished my dinner and didn't run off upstairs to game and instead chatted with them for hours was priceless :')

I'll definitely stay on both websites and keep updating my progress.

Stay Strong (y)

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That's awesome! Way to go man, super proud of you. And the best part is... this is only the beginning. Imagine as you continue your new approach to life over the next year, two years, three years how much of a continued improvement it will be. And all you have to do is continue the small actions that are contributing to your success right now. :)

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I had suffered from less than ideal hygiene before quitting games so don't feel alone in that.

?I think this is a topic/video I should do (so many gamers have this problem lol...) but it's not a problem I specifically had. If I was going to cover it, what would the key points be from your gamer perspective?

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Very happy to be able to add my own post to this thread.

First, I made a long 90 day post in my journal that basically tells my whole story. But this thread is more about top 5 lessons learned, so I can do that too! Here goes:

  1. The Power of a Public Journal
    I've kept a journal for a long time, but this is the first time I've journaled so consistently and gotten so much out of it. Having a journal that is public makes you accountable to others - it motivates you to post and for what you post to be thoughtful. It requires you to be vulnerable. It gives you a chance to be seen, and for others to relate and respond and challenge you. All these things taken together are a wonderful recipe for growth. I think in my 90 days I only missed one day of journaling, because I was travelling or something. I really can't overstate how important the daily journal has been for me on my journey. If I decided to quit games without the support of a community I might have succeeded, but I don't think I would have grown as much.
     
  2. The Nature of Addiction
    When I first began my 90 days, I don't think I saw myself as a gaming addict, but I'm starting to change my mind about that. Here's a definition of addiction that I came across, which seems pretty standard:

    "Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others."

    For me, gaming was pleasurable and compulsive, and certainly took up enough time to interfere with other responsibilities in my life. It impacted my relationships negatively because I wasn't present for them. It impacted my work negatively because I wasn't as engaged with it. It impacted my physical health because I ate poorly (fast food = more time for gaming) and didn't take the time to exercise. It impacted my mental health because it isolated me and restricted the amount I socialized. And indeed, until recently I wasn't even aware of the negative aspects of this behavior, in part because this was basically how I had behaved for most of my life.
     
  3. How to be Happy
    Like Joe, I think that I (at least unconsciously) believed that happiness would follow from success, rather than the other way around. But then what leads to happiness? I don't have a definitive answer, but I have learned some things that you can do that will contribute to your happiness. First, practice gratitude to improve your ability to feel gratitude and appreciation. Second, be vulnerable with others in your life to deepen your connections. Third, eliminate negative habits from your life and replace them with positive ones. Fourth, live your life with intentionality to give yourself a greater sense of meaning and purpose; instead of leveling up your character, level up your own life and skills. Fifth, put yourself in new social situations so that you can make new friends - building a healthy social life is among the most important things you can do to be happy.
     
  4. Change is Possible
    Despite some people thinking "people never change", change is in fact possible. There are some caveats: 1) You can't change anyone else - they have to want to change themselves; 2) Change takes time and is a lot of work. Change is the result of The Slight Edge - consistent small efforts made every single day. After enough time, you'll be in a new place that you wouldn't have thought possible before. New options that once seemed out of reach now seem to make sense as next steps. While occasionally forcing yourself a ways out of your comfort zone might give you a burst of growth, most growth comes from simple sustained effort every day - identifying what you action you need to take to improve yourself, and then taking that action.
     
  5. Having Goals Matters
    This might sound silly, but there was a time when I dismissed the idea of setting concrete goals. I think I got this idea from Leo Baubata's blog post on the matter. I have a lot of respect for Leo and Zenhabits, and I think his point that we shouldn't be too rigidly fixed on a particular outcome is a good one, but still, having goals matters. I'm not going to decide to run a 5k by accident, for example. Consciously deciding that I would make it my goal to run a 5k motivated me to take the time to train - I was going to be held accountable by the event itself. I wanted to do as well as possible and have a race time that I was proud of, so that led me to starting a training program. Choosing to do a 90 day detox has the same effect as well. Now that I've met the 90 days and the 5k goals, I have found myself less motivated somewhat - so, without goals in place, it's easy to slip up. I'm going to pick new goals to keep myself moving forward and keep myself focused. I believe I will accomplish more this way.

Thanks for reading! B|

Edited by kortheo
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Congratulations on making it to this huge milestone!  I'm looking forward to hearing what your new goals will be!  I love number 4.  We can change so much when we know how.

If you're ever struggling with something in the future, read the words that you wrote in here today.  They are a great reminder of what you can accomplish!

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I'm proud to say that I've reached my goal of 90 days! (having this thread here also makes it sweeter haha) 

Here's my five points. 

  • In Control: While I would mindless sit and play games for hours on end, I never really understood why, I just did it. Now after weaning off games and have more of an introspective, I feel I am able to understand why things were the way there were going for me. I feel more in control of the things I want to do. 
  •  A Matter of Meditation:  I want to say in November, I started meditating for 20 minutes everyday. I've been doing this to this day and look forward to it! I find having a time to slow down really helps me get focused on things that matter to me.
  • Different Lenses: I see things a little bit differently now. In the past, I took full responsibility for my actions, but now I really take responsibility. I feel more free in a way because of this. I don't have any excuses. I could easily say I was tired because I played too many video games or that I would have had at least one published novel if it wasn't for games. Now that isn't the case. I just do it or don't. Ya know as Yoda says: "Do or do not. There is no try." I believe it. 
  • Energy Shift!: When I did play games and was focused on a task, I went HAM. Whatever the game I learned the strats and looked at how I could improve my game. Today I take that energy and use it to propel my drive for my Company. I'm getting work DONE and it's wonderful. 
  •  Relax Man... / Selfless ConfidenceWithout all this pressure to get better in games or have to do things by a certain time before reset(s) (IE: Destiny),  I've been more about learning, being patient, taking the time to really absorb things. I'm still working becoming a better listener, but all in due time! 

    Honestly if you're here on this site / forum you know why you're here. This is wonderful because having that awareness puts you leagues about the norm. There's many scapegoat shepherds out there and if I'm going to be hungry like the wolf, let it be for a true purpose. 

    -Oct    

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Hi everyone. This post is 2 days late, but I figured someone might benefit from seeing this and I should be contributing back to the community that helped me out so much anyways. Skip past my history if you just want to see how my 90 days went.

Me

A quick history about me, I've been playing games since I was 6 or so. My addiction truly began at the age of 9 or 10 when I started playing games on websites such as miniclip.com and addictinggames.com. I later found out about Runescape during this time and that was my first main gaming addiction. After that I bounced around to various MMORPG's on my PC and various console games. Overall, Runescape was my most played game which I quit at the age of 18 (4 years ago). My other addictions have been to Minecraft, Diablo, PoE, various steam games, and finally LoL.

I've averaged 12-15 hours a day most of the time either playing a game, reading about a game, or watching video content about a game. My mind was constantly consumed with ways to improve and this escapism eventually caused me to fail greatly in my academics. I started to slip around 11th and 12th grade since more work was required outside of class, but I still managed to pass with a good gpa. After that I went to university for a year and dropped out since I couldn't pass most of my classes. 

90 days journey

I found it relatively easy to quit my gaming addiction this time. I truly hit rock bottom in the 3 months leading up to that day. My gaming addiction was my fault. It caused my relationship with my SO at the time to suffer as well as with my family. I also had no friends in real life outside of my cousins. 3 months before I started this detox I was going to the gym for 3 days a week. 

I tried various times to go cold turkey, but I always went back to gaming. My entire life I tried to moderate, but I could never get it down.  A comment by Yxven really sums how I felt,

When I game, every moment not spent gaming feels like a waste of time.

I made a list of goals for 2016 and broke those down into monthly goals. Then I broke those down even further as to what steps I could take to accomplish them and what I could learn every month so I could see progress. I started to up my gym regiment to 4-5x a week, learn mandarin chinese daily for 30 minutes, read a book a month, play at least 30 minutes of guitar a day, and daily learning of coding.

What really helped me out was seeing my new activities and hobbies in a daily tracker. Everyday marking one of these off in an app I installed made me feel a sense of accomplishment. 

In the first two weeks I played offline games with my brother or cousins a couple of times for 2-3 hours. Since then I had no desire to game and saw icons for games as a mental distraction since it would bring up memories of the past. I ended up uninstalling every game on my PC since I didn't see the point of how gaming would make me succeed in any of my goals.

In the days leading up to the 85th day I had a bit of a slip-up. I used to make gaming videos for Runescape which I found while cleaning out an old laptop and started to rewatch a few of them. After this I watched some YouTube videos that I loved about that game. On the 85th day after seeing a nice video I wanted to see how it was so I installed it and jumped online. I usually go online on this game every couple of months for an hour just to relive some of that nostalgia. I went on it and instantly felt the desire to succeed, to set up goals and succeed inside of that world. 

After an hour, I realized that the fantasy in my head was just trying to relive the fun I had in my past. I'm a different person now with my productive hobbies though. I uninstalled it and had a good chuckle about how silly my thoughts were. Hopefully that doesn't count as breaking the detox. I think that slip-up made me feel even stronger about not requiring gaming to be apart of my life.

Analysis

90 days are over and the journey has just begun. I've been game-free nearly the entirety of that detox period and at the highest point of my life physically as well as mentally. I've been fairly successful in my courses this semester and even picked up a part-time job. I've read 3 books which really changed my perception on life. I've successfully hit the gym 4-5x a week and my body is proof of my progress. I've memorized a song on the guitar and nearly a few others, but I now know how to play chords and read tabs easily which is amazing compared to what I knew before I started. 

This has gotten too long, but a few tips of what I learned:

  • Be aware of how you spend your time and what distracts you most.

If it's not aiding you in your goals then cut down on it less or remove it completely. Watching less youtube and spending time on various social media and reddit/all made me waste a lot of time. 

  • The first 30 days are the most difficult.

Just remember to keep yourself busy and outside of games. Even laying down doing nothing or meditating is better than playing. 

  • Go outside everyday, no matter what

I can't emphasize how much this helped me out. Whenever I chose to stay inside for a day, I would feel useless and trapped in a box like how I used to feel back when I was addicted to gaming. 

Ending

There's still a lot of work to be done though to accomplish my dreams and goals and progress towards it daily will make it count. 

Hope I explained everything well, thanks for taking the time to read this and good luck on your own journey.

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