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d.manuk
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One of my older friends reached out to me yesterday and it was fun catching up with her.

 

I’m working on a new art piece and so far I really like the colors.

 

I just came back from the gym and had a good workout and there was barely anyone there. I’m having a good day.

Edited by Shine Magical
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I feel confident and happy today. I also got a lot of work done.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately because I want to be smarter.

I've been wondering how to generate a second income, and I’m not sure if making art is the right way to go... I feel like the return would be very low. 
While I like the colors in this latest art piece, I don’t like the anatomy.

76891AAE-D6DF-4F79-9E67-A1CB0C1FC544.jpeg

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Do you think that listening to political views can get you agitated, even angry? I try to stay away from the news and political views because they always touch on these contentious issues that are bound to get me emotional. 

 Great to see that you have a good activity instead of gaming.

Have you reduced non-essential internet use over the previous month?

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Political views don’t make me too angry. Usually just confused because people who are liberal are almost always extremely empathetic, and I’m not like that and my views are based in logic. 

I haven’t reduced my Internet consumption but I’m happy with it. I’ve been learning a lot and I feel like I learn more every single day, much more than a few months ago. Having podcasts on in the background has been great, I feel like I’m getting addicted to learning.

 

Today is day 3 on a ketogenic diet and so far it’s  giving me really great skin so I’m excited to continue. Even though I ate what I thought was a healthy diet I was still consuming 200g+ of carbs a day. I wonder how good I will look in a few weeks. Confident enough to post a selfie on Instagram? Haha I hope so

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On 7/28/2020 at 1:10 PM, Shine Magical said:

I feel confident and happy today. I also got a lot of work done.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately because I want to be smarter.

I've been wondering how to generate a second income, and I’m not sure if making art is the right way to go... I feel like the return would be very low. 
While I like the colors in this latest art piece, I don’t like the anatomy.

76891AAE-D6DF-4F79-9E67-A1CB0C1FC544.jpeg

This is very beautiful. The colors are very lovely. Thank you for sharing. 

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I haven’t socialized with anyone for a long time and I don’t want to. I don’t want to become friends with anyone new. I don’t want to make small talk. I don’t want anyone to look at me or talk to me. I just want to be left alone for another year while I metamorphasize into a new butterfly.

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Last night I spent 4 hours streaming my watercolor process and voice chatting with one of my old friends and also 3 other new people on discord.

I liked it and I had fun. We all got to pick different music to listen to in the background.

Even though I was talking to new people, my main focus was my friend and since the group was small it wasn't hard to socialize. I was able to do it from the comfort of my own home and didn't have to worry about how I looked either.

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I think in 2 weeks I'll be ready to go on a date with someone. I want to do it before the end of the month, I want to make the most of the summer while it's still warm and nice.

New diet is going ok.

 

I also did this yoga sequence this morning:


 

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My friend from NYC is coming to visit me today as a surprise. Unexpected but welcome. It’s the first socialization I’m going to have in half a year.
 

647BBECD-FF79-4753-A20D-F7284C33B2DD.jpeg

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I have a bad infection and went to the doctor to get medicine.

I've been watching romance movies and crying and it feels good.

I hope I can find someone that takes good care of me in the future.

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The medicine I got has been working well, so I'm feeling pretty good.

I've also been fasting for 3 days now to try to help heal my body. I'm going to start eating tomorrow morning.

Today I also went through my apartment and threw out a bunch of things I no longer have a use for. It felt great.

One thing I want to remember even though I gave it away/threw it out is a polar bear backpack I bought on my trip to Japan with my ex. It was so cute but I'm way too old to wear something like that and was always too embarrassed to wear it. Although I really liked it, it wasn't a fit for my real style so I let it go.

I've also been thinking lately about my ex more often (probably because I'm bored, lol). I still don't regret breaking up with him, nor do I miss the life we had together since it wasn't a good fit for my laid back personality. But the time we spent together was an extremely interesting time nonetheless. Instead of focusing on the bad things when I think about him (which naturally come up as the first thing when I think about him), I've been trying to shift and think of good memories during our relationship instead. I have looked at his social media lately, but found nothing interesting. I found it funny I guess, like a... hah, I remember that guy, that's funny that I used to date someone like him, it's funny that he's still out there doing his thing, it's funny that that's the new person he's fooling around with... No ill intent though. Just, funny and happy that I'm separated from him.

I feel good today, doing stuff around the apartment that I haven't devoted time to in months made me feel really happy. 😄

 

 

Edited by Shine Magical
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Can't eat:   Try out:
Nuts   Eggs
    Lamb
    Pork
    Liver
    Krave cleanser
    Oil cleansing
    White fish
    Beans
    Chicken thighs
   
Green vegetables
    Tomato
    Eggplant
    Butter

 

Here's my plan for my elimination diet. I've only been eating beef at the moment.

So far I had a bad reaction to nuts.

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I spoke with my great aunt on the phone today. I love her so much. I wish Canada were letting people into the country so I could visit her.

My great aunt is the only adult I've had in my life that seems to like me without wanting anything from me other than my companionship and . She's the kindest person I've known. I actually like her more the older I get. I hope she can live at least 10 more years, she's 85.

I have a lot of nice memories of being up at her cottage and garden.

 

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I just went for a 1 hour hike. It was really nice and peaceful. I did feel a bit dizzy the whole time, I think it’s because I’ve been lying in bed for a whole week.

 

Summer does seem like it’s ending. The elimination diet is going well so far, I’m going to try eating eggs tomorrow. 

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On 8/24/2020 at 9:20 AM, Shine Magical said:

 

Can't eat:   Try out:
Nuts   Eggs
    Lamb
    Pork
    Liver
    Krave cleanser
    Oil cleansing
    White fish
    Beans
    Chicken thighs
   
Green vegetables
    Tomato
    Eggplant
    Butter

 

Here's my plan for my elimination diet. I've only been eating beef at the moment.

So far I had a bad reaction to nuts.

You could go to a nutritional response testing doctor/chiropractor.  I go to one and she test how my body handles certain foods all in one sitting without having to eat them or get shots or anything.  It’s super interesting and it might be able to find what’s making your skin not as good as you want it to be.  🙂

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So far I've eaten steak and 4 eggs today.

I went to the grocery store while it was raining and it was nice, it reminded me of Japan.

I'm still recovering from my injury.

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I had been planning to go to Manchester, NH this weekend but decided not to because I'm still not feeling 100%.

Funnily, I found out that my ex is there this weekend. The thought of accidentally encountering him makes me gag with disgust and discomfort. If we accidentally bumped into each other, I don't think I could be very polite and would probably make a grossed out face right away, I wouldn't be able to help myself lol. What a horrible social situation to think about, I'd rather not.

 

I just finished watching Vinland Saga. It was 7/10.

I'm starting to get antsy and just want to feel back to normal. I guess that means my health has improved quite a bit, haha.

Everything in my life is pretty good today. I'm currently very into this oldie type of music, it's very relaxing.

 

Edited by Shine Magical
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My skin is the clearest it's been in a long time. I'm currently happy with the elimination diet, although I wish I could eat like a normal person without sensitivity issues.

The infected injury I had burst and it's been oozing puss and old blood for the past 2 hours. It's disgusting, smelly, and annoying. I hope this means it's in its final stages of healing...

 

My work got much busier this week. It's a little stressful but I don't feel too different. My attention is solely focused on my health at the moment and I'm not doing much work throughout the day.

I haven't done any art in the past 3 weeks since I've started feeling crummy.

I've been thinking a lot about creating a YouTube channel about personal finance, since that's my job. I could make some extra money through that while also better educating myself for my job. I'll have so many options available to me once my skin is clear and I figure out my health. I'm so optimistic.

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I had to throw out 5 more plants. Almost all of my favorite plants were infected. It's really a bummer. This is giving me an opportunity to rethink how many plants I want in my apartment going forward.

 

Anthony Jeselnik said a funny quote that I agree with "I'd rather be alone than annoyed." 😆

I've been watching a lot of comedy and also started watching Psycho Pass. I recently finished Neon Genesis Evangelion (6/10).

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  • d.manuk changed the title to d.manuk's journal

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