d.manuk's journal

[Icandothis]

Awww friend... look how far you have come!

You are doing better physically, mentally and spiritually. Making more money. Assessing your nutrition to see what works for you!

 

I love love having plants in the home. It brings such a good energy.  
 

Sending hugs friend. 

[d.manuk]

I went ahead with letting go of some of my possessions today: a recipe book, some essential oils, some herbalism things, some stuff in my fridge.
 

Right now my goal is to let go of 1 kitchen cabinet’s worth of stuff. It will take a while since I don’t want to throw things out unnecessarily, and I want to give each thing a final use to decide if I want to really let go of it.

Edited March 4, 2021 by Shine Magical

[d.manuk]

I’m a little stressed.

Do I move even though I’ve only lived in this apt for a year? I have a week to decide if I'm going to renew my lease.

My new upstairs neighbors are louder than the old ones. 
My landlord is fed up with me because I’ve gotten 4 noise complaints.

I could move into a new apt but I’d have to pay moving costs and do a lot of cleaning.

I looked at a nice apt in a quiet high rise but it has no visitor parking (important for me) and the apartment was too big and the smaller units were too small. 

I think I’m leaning towards not moving even though I won’t be as happy here for another year, is this lazy logic and should I just move anyway? 

Edited March 7, 2021 by Shine Magical

[d.manuk]

On 1/24/2020 at 10:05 AM, Shine Magical said:

Also here is an update to my net worth, you can see the effect my 1 year of unemployment has had when I stopped working in Nob 2018. My 401k account was deleted and so was the history and that's why there's such a huge jump at that time but there's screenshots earlier in my journal if you are really curious:

 

Here is a net worth update:

Basically I took a big hit to my finances after I became single and moved and it took me a year to get back to where I was pre-break up. I had to close my accounts and move them to a different bank because of my job so that's why there's a big jump in September.

[d.manuk]

Here's a spending per month over time graph:

I closed one of my credit cards so that spending history isn’t in the graph but my expenses are still noticeably higher.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Shine Magical

[d.manuk]

Sell current table - AptDeco, Facebook marketplace, Craigslist 

Buy standing table and chairs

Buy stronger command strips

Invest money

Make more sauerkraut

Make YouTube video?

Buy more scented woods - scents of earth.com

Reorganize home clothes 

Reorganize kitchen cabinets

But new cutting board

Sell prismacolor colored pencils

Buy black skull hoodie

Renew lease

Replace light bulb kitchen

[d.manuk]

It’s been very sunny and warm the past few days. I’ve gone hiking twice this week. I’ve been very productive doing things in my to-do list. I hung out with someone that I might potentially become friends with.

[d.manuk]

Hobbies I’m letting go of:

herbalism

essential oil diffusing

fermenting foods like sauerkraut 

 

Thank you for the interesting knowledge you’ve given me!

[d.manuk]

I’ve been kicking ass all week!

[Jason70]

I'm glad to hear you have been doing well recently! Keep it up!

Best 

Jason

[d.manuk]

Spring cleaning!! Always feels so good

[Jason70]

This reminds me, I have to get into the habit again of making sure I clean my spaces every week, and from time to time deep cleaning, I have been kind of failing at that!

Best 

Jason

[d.manuk]

 

An updated hobby list. I hope by taking away some of the crossed out hobbies I'll have time to do more of the ones that are left over.

I haven't had extremely enjoyable sex for a while. So far I'm mostly underwhelmed with the men of Boston. I'm going to take a break from hooking up and focus on weightlifting. I don't really like any of my fwb's anymore except maybe one or two. I want to take better selfies soon. I'm very focused on my appearance this year.

[d.manuk]

I am getting a crown on one of my teeth.

I regret smoking so much pot as a young adult.

I'm going to spend the next 2 weeks focused inwards on myself.

[d.manuk]

A lot of progress is happening 🥰

[d.manuk]

I put together my new electric standing table. It was pretty difficult!

It was supposed to be a 2 person job, but I did it alone. The top alone weighs 120 lbs.

I feel a nice sense of accomplishment.

 

I've been gaining weight and spending more money on food as I get stronger at the gym.

First few months of data got deleted from an old credit card.

[WorkInProgress]

Interesting Chart. You seem to reach your fitness goals. Food expenses as a measure are kind of a funny way to display it, though. Regardless of the reason I think quality food is an excellent thing to spent your money on 🙂

[d.manuk]

I was able to deadlift 2 plates on each side which is a nice new PR for me. I want an even juicier butt!

I was also able to fit in comfortably into a shirt I had bought a few months ago but thought I was too skinny/didn't fill it out that well in the chest. I hadn't worn it since I bought it but now I will wear it to the gym, it's of my favorite band.

I still have so much I want to progress on, but gym food and work take my priority. 

I haven't met up with any guys for a few weeks now, I think I will try to do something this weekend.

[d.manuk]

I was sick for the past week and so I allowed myself to play League of Legends (pretty much the only time I play video games now is when I'm sick -- I'm very comfortable with this).

I noticed how tired it made me, which was very interesting. Working all day doesn't make me as nearly as tired as playing League of Legends all day. No I'm not addicted, no I didn't find it super interesting. It is a good way to pass the time though when you're not feeling great. I don't really like to watch movies for too long, I need something more engaging.

I was feeling physically better yesterday so I immediately uninstalled. Today I have so much energy even though I've been doing stuff all day.

Just a reminder for myself!!

 

Still feeling great about my new deadlift PR even though a lot of hours have gone by since it happened.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Shine Magical

[WorkInProgress]

Yeah, LOL is draining a lot of energy if you immerse yourself in it. I think it's just hard for our brain to take in all these sensorial data and warp it into a strategy while still reacting at the moment. It is a very immediate feedback game. You run a little to far in and your dead and have to work with the disadvantage. I think this also why it is so addicting. I  will never ever play LOL again. I lost too much life in this one. And it was too hard to get away.

But cool that you can use games in this way. I remember playing as I was sick or after teeth operations and the distraction helped me a lot with pain and weakness. So I think that is actually a valid strategy if your not addicted.

[d.manuk]

I was planning to have sex after the gym today, but a guy was pressuring me this morning and I ended up meeting with him instead of eating breakfast. This made me not get enough calories before the gym and I lost steam midway. I regret not putting my workout first ahead of the sex. It was pretty decent though, I'll probably meet him again.

[d.manuk]

Stop Sending Things to my Job

 

I work from home and when you send things to my office it’s a problem not just for me but for other people. It’s unprofessional and uncomfortable for everyone. 

 

7 years ago I asked you to stop contacting me and every time you send me something I feel violated, annoyed, unhappy and it’s a reminder of why I don’t like you. I usually throw what you send me into the trash without opening.

 

I still don’t want you in my life, I still don’t want to talk to you or know how you’re doing. I still want zero contact from you, I still want the same thing I asked for 7 years ago: leave me alone.

 

I understand that you’re my mother and how this situation must make you feel. However, you’re really underestimating how much I dislike you. I’m not confused, I’m not going to change my mind, I’ve never regretted my decision and I’m certain of what I want. 

 

I don’t want any contact from you.

[d.manuk]

Testing new hobby: incense sticks

Retiring old hobby: streaming my art painting process (it's annoying to set up and also to have the camera in the way)

Testing hobby to see whether I still want to do it: watercolor painting

Decide if I want to continue oil painting or if I should try acrylic painting (faster drying times, I don't think I'm utilizing oil paint properly with blending techniques)

[d.manuk]

I'm doing spring cleaning on my clothes.

I feel the need to post in my journal pretty often these days, I think I just need to feel myself supporting me as I do a lot of work.

My self esteem isn't very good, even though I work out more than ever I'm still years away from my goal.

[d.manuk]

I just realized that I’m now making $90k/year. This was my immediate salary goal when I started working 7 years ago. I read that people become very happy once they reach $90k and above that there isn’t much of a difference in happiness. I’m pretty happy now with how things are going with my job and life as long as I can keep working from home.