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MuMuMelon's Diary


MuMuMelon
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Day 4 (Sunday)

Went to visit my Dad. We went for a hike with a friend of his. It was nice relaxing hike and the weather was sunny and cool. After that I went to my brothers place to change my car tires for winter. After I finished with the tires I chatted with my brother and his wife for a couple of hours. 

The weather turned crappy as I headed home. It got wet and cold. I spent the rest of the evening watching the Cowboy Bebop series on Netflix before crashing. 

Day 5 (Today)

Watched a few Udemy class videos, did some yoga and meditated in the morning. Had a simple breakfast of muesli and tea. Rolled my winter tires into the basement of my building to put them in my storage space. Organized my car after that. 

Later, some repair guys came by to finish fixing the radiator. Not sure how good a job they did though. I've had the thermostat cranked all the way up and I haven't felt anything out of the radiator. Fortunately my unit is still pretty warm at the moment. 

Just finished an hour of a zoom breathwork class. Probably going to do some reading and watch a movie before I head to bed.

 

Have a great night everybody!

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  • 1 month later...

Well here I am again with my tail between my legs. Two days ago I quit gaming after falling back in the deep end. I let my loneliness convince me that gaming with my online friends would be a good idea. Basically, I went hardcore for about a month and a half. I mean 8 - 12 hours a day. Right back to where I was when I quit originally. Ironically, while I decided to game again to socialize with friends I found myself mostly gaming alone.

I'm not ashamed of myself this time. I recognize how being so isolated made falling back into gaming so easy. Also, the only person around to keep me accountable is me. I'm not going to be so easy on myself this time. 

It's so obvious how gaming holds me back. Just two days into quitting and I've been so much more productive. 

Consider me back. This is day 2 of no gaming. 

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Welcome back. You were an inspiration for me when I just started. You are on the right path, keep going. 

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Thanks @WhoCaresand @Nico Indigo

I really appreciate the support.

Well, its DAY 4 and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not bored out of my mind, because I am. No big deal. I'm going to make some chicken soup in the afternoon, do some yoga, meditate and then either read something or play around with one of my synthesizers. I will keep myself busy even if I don't want to. 

Hope everybody is doing good!

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Day 6

Still off the vids. I was helping my buddy do some work on a store he's opening but I tweaked my back a little bit. Taking it easy for the rest of the night to make sure it doesn't get any worse. It was nice to get out and see people, even if I was working. 

I've been playing around with my synthesizers more these days and I'm starting to get into them. 

My brain is still quite foggy but I know in a few more days that will clear up. 

Take care all! 

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Day 10

I haven't gamed in 10 days. I'm happy to report that my mind has settled some and I'm finding it easier to keep my mind busy. I informed my brother today that he'd be receiving my XBox series S now that I'm done with it. Pretty soon I'll try to find a buyer for my Nintendo Switch as well. More then happy to have them out of here. 

Going back to work tomorrow after a two month break. Looking forward to it. 

Take care gang! 

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Day 14

It's certainly been easier to not game now that I'm back at work. I'm back to a point where I'm not thinking about gaming nearly as much. I have to remind myself to not be overconfident. Last time I quit I was positive that I was done for good. Turns out that wasn't the case. All it took was a moment of weakness and bam...back to gaming. 

I've been keeping myself busy with TV, meditation, and learning how to use my synthesizers. However, gaming creeps into my mind every now and then. 

I hope everybody is staying off the pixels! I wish you all the best! 

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  • 4 months later...

Day 1 

It wasn't long after my last post that I completely caved and allowed video games back into my life. I've been playing for hours every day since. I'm 46 years old and very ashamed of myself. I just finished boxing up my consoles and deleting all my games from my PC. I'm going to visit my Dad and brother today. Tomorrow I'm putting my consoles up for sale. 

It was so damn easy to fall back into the trap. I let my guard down just a bit and wham! Floodgates open. 

I'm sorry if I let anybody down. I really thought I had things under control. I did not. 

 

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Day 2 

Just finished putting my consoles up on Kajiji. Hopefully, I can sell them quick. I put them up for reasonable prices so here's hoping. 

Today I've just been lounging around my apartment dealing with boredom and a mind that simply cannot focus. I've been here before and I don't like it. I know I'm on the right track. Life only gets better when I put the video games down. 

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Day 4 - yesterday I was a bit of a right off. After I came home from work I did a little yoga and a short meditation but after that I chilled out and watched TV until bedtime. I needed that. My head is still very fuzzy and unfocused. 

I got some responses about my Xbox but everybody was low balling me. One person sounded legit but they haven't got back to me yet. 

I'm going to meditate and do some yoga when I get home from work. Not sure what I'll do after that. Probably not much.

 

 

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Day 7 

The last few days have been very busy work days. I've been coming home exhausted with barely enough energy to do some yoga. On the plus side it's made withdrawal symptoms much easier to deal with. The main thing I struggle with is keeping my mind occupied. Nothing is as exciting as video games. At least not the kind of stuff that most people do. I just have to get used to that and really put myself into my hobbies. I've been doing Yoga, meditation and learning to play my synthesizers but I haven't put my all into these things. I'm going to come up with a plan to make these things more of a focus in my life. 

So, I haven't played video games in 7 days. I'm very happy to report this. 

Take care all! 

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Some other people mentioned that you're inspiring and I utterly agree with them - I think what you've done in the face of failure is amazing and something I hope to manage to do with enough practice!

Totally relate to the whole issue with keeping the mind occupied  - have you tried seeing if friends or anyone in your area does board game nights or DnD? I think it might be useful though I know it can become an obsession (the buying of board games) if you're not careful. 

I am curious though - do you feel that you're accomplishing the goal that you wanted to do as a result of quitting gaming?  

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Day 10

I just sold my XBox! I'm still not sure if I'm happy about it or not but at least it's out of my life. I've been continuing to be video game free. Now I just need to get the Switch out of the apartment...

Hey @ProxeeThanks so much for those kind words. Truthfully, I've been really ashamed of myself for giving in to gaming again, but I'm happy I had the sense to give it another shot. I do play board games and I did have a bit of an obsession with collecting them. However, I haven't purchased any new board games in a while and I don't intend to. I have plenty. I like board games but I don't feel like they control me. I don't get to play them as much as I'd like but that's okay. I've still been keeping up with the Yoga and, although I've fallen off with the meditation for the last few weeks, I'm getting back into the practice. 

I guess I never really had a goal in mind, other than quitting video games. My life certainly improved when I stopped though. I picked up some wonderful new hobbies, I ended a marriage that I was unhappy in for a very long time, and I felt a lot of pride in myself. I'm working on building that back up. 

I really hope everybody here sticks with it. I know it can be hard but it's so so worth it. 

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Day 15

Still going strong. Just finished Yoga and meditation. Now I'm just waiting for the laundry to finish so I can put it away. After that I'm going to sit down and read the instruction manual for my newest synthesizer. Up till now I've just been messing around with it. Now it's time to actually learn how to use it. Wish me luck!

Hop you all are doing good, feeling good and looking good! Peace! 

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Day 20 - Still going strong

I had a very interesting experience last night. I was talking to a good friend of mine, explaining that I'm addicted to video games and that I can't control my playing. He spent nearly an hour trying to convince me to play. He barely plays himself so I thought it was strange that he was trying to encourage me to not quit. It's like people just can't handle things changing or something. 

Anyway, not saying this to complain. Just wanted to point out a funny situation. 

Stay strong everybody. 

 

 

 

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Day 27

Experiencing a strong desire to game these days. I'm bored, don't see many friends or family due to my work schedule. I find it incredibly challenging to take interest in things that aren't video games. Even things I really want to do like learning to use my synthesizers, do yoga, meditate and complete some online courses. These things, even though I know I want to do them, simply don't stimulate my mind. I realize that this is a dopamine issue it's just hard to deal with. How do I make my mind as interested in other things as it is in video games? This shit is driving me mental! 

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Hi, take a break, watch a movie or an episode of a series for example. At least it's not gaming, and it doesn't feel like work (the things you want to start, but you don't feel like doing them yet).

edit : I also want to play, but I tell myself that I have to finish the 90 days first, then maybe I'll play, 1 day per week for example. But with all the little improvements I see when I don't play, I don't think it would be a good idea to play after the 90 days, even 1 day per week, it would be a waste.

Edited by Martinof
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