MuMuMelon's Diary

[MuMuMelon]

Day 33

Pretty chill day today. Kind of overdid it on the exercise yesterday so I only meditated and did a short yoga session. Other then that I spent the day with my wife. We went out for a nice lunch on a patio (our first meal out in the wild since covid) which was a little surreal. After that I did some dishes and some laundry. Then I learned a card game called Haggis and we played a few rounds together. Pretty fun little trick taking game that plays well with two.

Now we are going to watch some more episodes of Umbrella Acadamy on Netflix. So far the second season is off to a good start.

Doing my best to stay focused and not try to anticipate the future. Today I am just trying to enjoy the now.  

Hope you all are too!

 

 

[Phoenixking]

10 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

Day 33

Pretty chill day today. Kind of overdid it on the exercise yesterday so I only meditated and did a short yoga session. Other then that I spent the day with my wife. We went out for a nice lunch on a patio (our first meal out in the wild since covid) which was a little surreal. After that I did some dishes and some laundry. Then I learned a card game called Haggis and we played a few rounds together. Pretty fun little trick taking game that plays well with two.

Now we are going to watch some more episodes of Umbrella Acadamy on Netflix. So far the second season is off to a good start.

Doing my best to stay focused and not try to anticipate the future. Today I am just trying to enjoy the now.  

Hope you all are too!

 

 

Haggis sounds cool. How do you play it. Do you feel like things are improving with your wife?

[MuMuMelon]

There has been some definite improvement in our relationship. We communicate more and more clearly. We spend more time together as of late and things are just a lot easier since I'm not simply plopping myself in front of the TV all day. Things aren't perfect but are certainly looking up. I'm trying to stay positive during this intense transition phase but it's not always easy. She has been so incredibly supportive through all this. Unfortunately, we have spent years kind of doing our thing. This has been my biggest hurdle. Intimacy has improved but is in an ackward stage of almost starting over. It's nice that we're trying but it feels weird at times.

Haggis is a trick taking game for 2-3 people. The best way I can describe it is that its like Euchre but plays well with two. It has some interesting mechanics, like playing a bomb (specific combo of cards) can win the trick, but that trick ends up going to the opponent. Some cards have point values on them and those points are scored at the end of the round. There is also a betting mechanic at the beginning of each round.

 

 

[MuMuMelon]

Day 36 - still quit and feeling fine!

Today was my first day back to work since all this Covid business. Only two weeks of work scheduled at the moment but it looks like the film industry is slowly getting the wheels moving. We are one of three productions in my Union that are up and running so I'm grateful for the work. 

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I just couldn't sleep last not. Tossing and turning all night. Sucked. Still, I forced myself out of bed at 4:30 to get in some yoga and meditation before I left for work. By the time I left the house I was feeling refreshed. When I got home though I crashed hard. As a result i didn't get much else done today. I'm a little disappointed as i did have plans. Oh well, at least i got to spend some time with my wife. We ate a nice meal together and then played a game of Carcassone (one of my favourite board games).

Being at work was interesting. Almost everybody there smokes. They've all seen me quit smoking and start again numerous times. I don't intend to let that happen again this time. I'm feeling good lately. I still have a long way to go to improve my lung capacity but I'm definitely feeling stronger in general. I don't want to lose that feeling. I really do think the meditation is helping me stay off the games, smokes and weed. I haven't been thinking about playing video games lately and that in itself is strange. My head is feeling much clearer. I know that i still have a long way to go but I'm actually starting to enjoy the process. I wish like hell I'd decided to do this soooooo much earlier in my life but....well, I guess now was the time I was meant to do it. 

Hope everybody is doing well. These are tough times and I wish you all the best.

[MuMuMelon]

Day 37

Another good day. I really tried to put myself into my work today. Day went smooth and efficiently. Got a lot of work done. No desire to play vids today. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I did see an ad for the new Star Wars game that's coming out. It was the last game that I ore-ordered and I was really looking forward to it. I saw the ad and had a quick pang of regret over not being able to play it when it comes out. I got over it quickly though. 

When I got back from work I did some Yoga, back stretches and meditated for 30 minutes. I'm finding meditation to be really motivating. I also find that it's helping with my moods. Also, the more I meditate the more I want to. I don't think I've missed a day of meditation since I started down this road of quitting. 

Well, I'm off to bed. Another early morning tomorrow. I plan to get up early enough to get some exercise in before work. 

Hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow! 

 

[BooksandTrees]

How do you meditate usually?

[User_11_11_2002]

Sounds like you're doing great! I'm also really curious on meditation, I don't really know where to start...

[MuMuMelon]

Ignore this...

Edited August 7, 2020 by MuMuMelon
Accidentally reposted a prior post

[MuMuMelon]

Day 38

Hey @BooksandTrees, and @User_11_11_2002. I just finished accidentally deleting a detailed explanation of how I meditate and a journal entry that followed. Needless to say I'm a little annoyed. Starting tomorrow I will not be using my phone to do my journals...

I will type up how I mediate again tomorrow, but for now I have to get some sleep. 

Hope everybody is staying strong. 

 

 

[MuMuMelon]

Hey again gang! Day 39 today!

Okay, recently @BooksandTrees and @User_11_11_2002 asked me about how I meditate. I typed up an answer last night but just as I was finishing up my last paragraph I accidentally hit the back button on my phone and made the message disappear. It's safe to say that I lost my zen momentarily when I realized what I had done. Anyway, today is another day, so here we go again. (Incidentally, my wife told me to write my e-mails/messages in my notes app from now on. That way I can't accidentally delete them. Great advice. Wish I'd thought of that before.)

I should start with a disclaimer that I am in no way a seasoned practitioner of meditation. I have basically zero prior knowledge. Besides these last couple of months I think I've tried meditation roughly 10 times in my life. A far cry from the daily routine I've gotten into as of late. (I really wish I had started sooner.) So please take what I say with that in mind. I have barely scratched the surface of styles of meditation. Almost all of the information I have discovered on meditation I got from Youtube videos and the internet. Mainly Youtube though. 

Okay, so to begin, I get myself into a comfortable, seated position. I use a cushy desk chair. Often, people tell you to sit cross legged on the floor but I find my legs start to fall asleep after a few minutes and that really makes it hard concentrate (not concentrate?). I usually play some music but not always. If I do I try to find relaxing music on youtube or spotify that specifically fits the length of the meditation I intend to attempt. When I first started I aimed for 15 - 20 minutes. Lately I've been sitting in the 30 - 45 minute range. I've always been able to find music on Youtube that specifically fits the times I'm aiming for. 

After I've started my music and am sitting comfortably, with my back straight (but not rigid), I take 10 deep breaths. I breath deeply into my belly and then let the air expand all through my lungs, followed by a slow exhale. After ten breaths like this I let my breathing go back to normal. Then I start doing something called "body scanning". It's something I've discovered through watching videos. There are lots of way to go about doing it but what I do is imagine an energy or warmth, slowly seeping it's way into my body, starting with my toes. Every place I imagine that energy touching, I relax that part of my body to the best of my ability. Slowly I continue the scan up my body. I try to feel that energy seeping deep into my flesh, tendons, skin, etc. I try to feel every single tiny part of my body, even for just a few moments. I continue this scan until I get to the top of my head. If there is a part of my body (usually my shoulders and neck) that are tight or stiff I'll spend extra time there relaxing those muscles. Often I'll forget what I'm doing or get lost in thought. Whenever I do I just get back to completing the scan. By the time I've reached the top of my head I'm usually in a meditative state. To me, that kind of feels like a place halfway between sleep and wakefulness but it's also accompanied by a sense of calm. It's kind of hard to describe. Originally, I listened to Youtube videos that coach you through body scanning. After a few times of doing this I found it easier to do on my own. Sometimes I find others peoples voices to be a distraction. Although, the more I meditate the easier it seems to be to ignore outside sounds. 

After I finish scanning I just allow myself to stay in this state. Often thoughts will come up, or emotions. When I notice that I'm having a thought or feeling I try to acknowledge that thought or feeling and then "come back to center". To me, "center" is a physical space right between my eyes. Every time I drift I attempt to come back to that place. Sounds weird I know. I continue this practice usually until the music stops, although lately I've been enjoying the silence that follows and stay attempt to stay in this state longer. I have noticed that the more I meditate the easier it becomes to enter a state of calm and the easier it is to focus away from distraction. 

Anyway, I hope that helps. Also, I sincerely hope you give this a try. I've found that it's really helping my mood and just general well being overall. It didn't happen all at once, but over time I'm really started to notice an improvement. 

Okay...JOURNAL STUFF!

Today was a nice day. I didn't really give myself enough time in the morning to do both Yoga and meditation, so I chose meditation. It really is becoming a wonderful way to start the day. After a 30 minute session I had a quick shower and headed off to work feeling nice and refreshed. 

It was a quick day at work. We pushed hard to hit a certain point and finished up at two. Always nice to drive home and not be stuck in traffic. I'm from Toronto. You may have heard that our traffic sucks. That is not untrue. 

Did some back stretches when I got home as my lower back has been stiff lately. (Might be overdoing it on the yoga....something to consider). These stretches are simple and seem to help a lot. 

I plan on finishing off The Urban Monk today, learn a bit more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and maybe play a board game before bed. I've got an early morning to help my father move into a new place. He doesn't have much stuff so it won't be too bad.

I'll likely add more before bed.

Have a good night everybody!

Additions: Okay, so I re-injured my rib today doing stretches. Just bloody stretching! I was doing stretches to help my lower and back and then hurt my rib. Mentally I don't feel old but sometimes I just have to accept that my body isn't keeping up with my mind. Anyway, I'll get over this. Just hope it doesn't hurt too much while I help my Dad move tomorrow. (Thank goodness he doesn't have that much stuff.)

Didn't get up to too much else after that. Ran a couple of errands with my wife. Did some light grocery shopping, dishes, and laundry. Another thing I've been taking more pride in since I quit vids is keeping the apartment tidy. Usually I was content to just do things at the last minute, leave the dishes until tomorrow, etc. Not these days. I do the dishes consistently  and I try to keep the apartment tidy as often as I can. I always make the bed in the morning too. Sadly, this is more or less new for me but I feel better now that I'm doing these things.

Okay, I'm off to meditate, nurse my rib and do some light reading before bed.

May the quit be with you!

 

Edited August 8, 2020 by MuMuMelon

[TheNewMe2.0]

Sorry about your rib. I hurt my neck watching tv and my arm coloring. So, you can get injured doing whatever. My neck has hurt for over a month just from looking at an awkward angle for an hour at a tv. Cleaning and meditating sound good. 

[BooksandTrees]

18 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

Hey again gang! Day 39 today!

Okay, recently @BooksandTrees and @User_11_11_2002 asked me about how I meditate. I typed up an answer last night but just as I was finishing up my last paragraph I accidentally hit the back button on my phone and made the message disappear. It's safe to say that I lost my zen momentarily when I realized what I had done. Anyway, today is another day, so here we go again. (Incidentally, my wife told me to write my e-mails/messages in my notes app from now on. That way I can't accidentally delete them. Great advice. Wish I'd thought of that before.)

I should start with a disclaimer that I am in no way a seasoned practitioner of meditation. I have basically zero prior knowledge. Besides these last couple of months I think I've tried meditation roughly 10 times in my life. A far cry from the daily routine I've gotten into as of late. (I really wish I had started sooner.) So please take what I say with that in mind. I have barely scratched the surface of styles of meditation. Almost all of the information I have discovered on meditation I got from Youtube videos and the internet. Mainly Youtube though. 

Okay, so to begin, I get myself into a comfortable, seated position. I use a cushy desk chair. Often, people tell you to sit cross legged on the floor but I find my legs start to fall asleep after a few minutes and that really makes it hard concentrate (not concentrate?). I usually play some music but not always. If I do I try to find relaxing music on youtube or spotify that specifically fits the length of the meditation I intend to attempt. When I first started I aimed for 15 - 20 minutes. Lately I've been sitting in the 30 - 45 minute range. I've always been able to find music on Youtube that specifically fits the times I'm aiming for. 

After I've started my music and am sitting comfortably, with my back straight (but not rigid), I take 10 deep breaths. I breath deeply into my belly and then let the air expand all through my lungs, followed by a slow exhale. After ten breaths like this I let my breathing go back to normal. Then I start doing something called "body scanning". It's something I've discovered through watching videos. There are lots of way to go about doing it but what I do is imagine an energy or warmth, slowly seeping it's way into my body, starting with my toes. Every place I imagine that energy touching, I relax that part of my body to the best of my ability. Slowly I continue the scan up my body. I try to feel that energy seeping deep into my flesh, tendons, skin, etc. I try to feel every single tiny part of my body, even for just a few moments. I continue this scan until I get to the top of my head. If there is a part of my body (usually my shoulders and neck) that are tight or stiff I'll spend extra time there relaxing those muscles. Often I'll forget what I'm doing or get lost in thought. Whenever I do I just get back to completing the scan. By the time I've reached the top of my head I'm usually in a meditative state. To me, that kind of feels like a place halfway between sleep and wakefulness but it's also accompanied by a sense of calm. It's kind of hard to describe. Originally, I listened to Youtube videos that coach you through body scanning. After a few times of doing this I found it easier to do on my own. Sometimes I find others peoples voices to be a distraction. Although, the more I meditate the easier it seems to be to ignore outside sounds. 

After I finish scanning I just allow myself to stay in this state. Often thoughts will come up, or emotions. When I notice that I'm having a thought or feeling I try to acknowledge that thought or feeling and then "come back to center". To me, "center" is a physical space right between my eyes. Every time I drift I attempt to come back to that place. Sounds weird I know. I continue this practice usually until the music stops, although lately I've been enjoying the silence that follows and stay attempt to stay in this state longer. I have noticed that the more I meditate the easier it becomes to enter a state of calm and the easier it is to focus away from distraction. 

Anyway, I hope that helps. Also, I sincerely hope you give this a try. I've found that it's really helping my mood and just general well being overall. It didn't happen all at once, but over time I'm really started to notice an improvement. 

Okay...JOURNAL STUFF!

Today was a nice day. I didn't really give myself enough time in the morning to do both Yoga and meditation, so I chose meditation. It really is becoming a wonderful way to start the day. After a 30 minute session I had a quick shower and headed off to work feeling nice and refreshed. 

It was a quick day at work. We pushed hard to hit a certain point and finished up at two. Always nice to drive home and not be stuck in traffic. I'm from Toronto. You may have heard that our traffic sucks. That is not untrue. 

Did some back stretches when I got home as my lower back has been stiff lately. (Might be overdoing it on the yoga....something to consider). These stretches are simple and seem to help a lot. 

I plan on finishing off The Urban Monk today, learn a bit more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and maybe play a board game before bed. I've got an early morning to help my father move into a new place. He doesn't have much stuff so it won't be too bad.

I'll likely add more before bed.

Have a good night everybody!

Additions: Okay, so I re-injured my rib today doing stretches. Just bloody stretching! I was doing stretches to help my lower and back and then hurt my rib. Mentally I don't feel old but sometimes I just have to accept that my body isn't keeping up with my mind. Anyway, I'll get over this. Just hope it doesn't hurt too much while I help my Dad move tomorrow. (Thank goodness he doesn't have that much stuff.)

Didn't get up to too much else after that. Ran a couple of errands with my wife. Did some light grocery shopping, dishes, and laundry. Another thing I've been taking more pride in since I quit vids is keeping the apartment tidy. Usually I was content to just do things at the last minute, leave the dishes until tomorrow, etc. Not these days. I do the dishes consistently  and I try to keep the apartment tidy as often as I can. I always make the bed in the morning too. Sadly, this is more or less new for me but I feel better now that I'm doing these things.

Okay, I'm off to meditate, nurse my rib and do some light reading before bed.

May the quit be with you!

 

Thanks for writing this detailed response. I was thinking about doing this in the morning instead of the night because I tend to get extremely stressed out in the mornings. Even if I wake up early, there's like 20+ emails in my inbox, 2-5 messages on my instant messaging thing from coworkers asking for help or wanting to talk, and then I realize I only have 8 hours to doa ll this stuff. I think I'd like a little more of a peaceful awakening so I'm not as tired throughout the day.

[User_11_11_2002]

19 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

Anyway, I hope that helps.

Thanks, this was really helpful and I'll definitely give this a try!

[MuMuMelon]

Day 40! 

Helped my Dad move into his new place today. Other then that I didn't get up to much. Read a little more of The Urban Monk. Nearly done. I don't read a lot of books so I'm always happy when I finish one. 

Rib was a little sore after the move so I gave it some cold and hot therapy earlier. Took the edge of anyway. 

Off to bed. Very tired. 

Night all. 

[TheNewMe2.0]

Reading's good. I don't read much either. Maybe I could try to find a mindfulness book again.

[MuMuMelon]

Day 41

Morning meditation today was kind of intense. I did a 45 minute session and everything was normal. However, somewhere around near the end of that time images of my mother came flooding into my mind. (My Mom died roughly 8 years ago to heart disease/cancer.) I didn't spend nearly enough time with her during this phase of her life and I deeply regret it. She was really into Soap Operas. She loved them. I always remember that she would disappear into her "stories" and be relatively uncommunicative. Suddenly I was struck with the parallels between her love of Soap Operas and my obsession with video games. I saw all the time that I'd dedicated to this useless pastime instead of spending it with my Wife, my Mother or my friends. I saw all this and I couldn't hold back my tears. I certainly wasn't expecting these kind of results from meditation but...here we are.

After that I did some more reading. So close to finishing The Urban Monk. Honestly, I've enjoyed it so much I'll definitely be reading it again in the near future. So much good advice and just positive ways of looking at life. Reading it during this time has been wonderful. 

Later in the day I met up with an a friend from work who I haven't seen in over a year. We went for a hike near a ravine by my place. We took our time, chatted and just had a nice time catching up. Turns out he's leaving to go to BC in a couple of weeks to pursue a new career. I'll be sad to see him go but I'm glad that he's going after his dreams. Regardless, it was really nice seeing him again.

After the walk, I came home and my wife and I cooked up a batch of nachos. We enjoyed that together and chatted for a bit and just enjoyed each others company. Our relationship has most certainly improved since I made all these changes. More and more I'm seeing how I was bringing so much negativity and stagnation to things. It's no wonder we were in such a rut. Things over the last month have been better then they've been in years. I know we still have a long way to go but I'm excited to see where things are headed. 

I am absolutely finding a better version of myself because of all of this. I'm so glad I came here. 

Take good care everybody. 

[Phoenixking]

On 8/10/2020 at 5:15 AM, MuMuMelon said:

Day 41

Morning meditation today was kind of intense. I did a 45 minute session and everything was normal. However, somewhere around near the end of that time images of my mother came flooding into my mind. (My Mom died roughly 8 years ago to heart disease/cancer.) I didn't spend nearly enough time with her during this phase of her life and I deeply regret it. She was really into Soap Operas. She loved them. I always remember that she would disappear into her "stories" and be relatively uncommunicative. Suddenly I was struck with the parallels between her love of Soap Operas and my obsession with video games. I saw all the time that I'd dedicated to this useless pastime instead of spending it with my Wife, my Mother or my friends. I saw all this and I couldn't hold back my tears. I certainly wasn't expecting these kind of results from meditation but...here we are.

After that I did some more reading. So close to finishing The Urban Monk. Honestly, I've enjoyed it so much I'll definitely be reading it again in the near future. So much good advice and just positive ways of looking at life. Reading it during this time has been wonderful. 

Later in the day I met up with an a friend from work who I haven't seen in over a year. We went for a hike near a ravine by my place. We took our time, chatted and just had a nice time catching up. Turns out he's leaving to go to BC in a couple of weeks to pursue a new career. I'll be sad to see him go but I'm glad that he's going after his dreams. Regardless, it was really nice seeing him again.

After the walk, I came home and my wife and I cooked up a batch of nachos. We enjoyed that together and chatted for a bit and just enjoyed each others company. Our relationship has most certainly improved since I made all these changes. More and more I'm seeing how I was bringing so much negativity and stagnation to things. It's no wonder we were in such a rut. Things over the last month have been better then they've been in years. I know we still have a long way to go but I'm excited to see where things are headed. 

I am absolutely finding a better version of myself because of all of this. I'm so glad I came here. 

Take good care everybody. 

Reading this is really filling me with joy. I'm happy for you!

[MuMuMelon]

Day 42

Yesterday was a bit of a day...

Everything was going fine. Got up early, meditated, went to work and finished early. When I got home I had a nice, relaxing bath. Then the email came.

One of the (many things) that I had put aside to play video games and generally just waste my life away, was my taxes. I'm embarrassed to say the last year that I filed, but needless to say it's been a while. Turns out to work in film in Toronto you need to be caught up on your taxes in order for American production companies to apply for tax credits. Up until yesterday things had been fine. Every time a production asked for my NOA (notice of assessment) from the previous year I could just give them different forms of ID instead. It always worked out so I just assumed that these forms of ID were just as valid as an NOA. Turns out not so much.

The email basically states that until I get this sorted I can't work in film in Ontario until I do. Ouch. I immediately had to call my boss and explain to him why I wouldn't be able to come into work the following day (today). 

It gets even more complicated then that. My wife has been reluctant for me to do my taxes as well. We are both behind. She isn't as bad off as me but....she has her own business, working from home. Essentially, in order for me to do my taxes she has to get all her stuff in order and do her taxes at the same time. We're in a bit of a pickle.

Old me would have lost my mind. I would have been angry, scared, upset. I wasn't. My wife got super sad and started to blame herself for the situation but I calmly let her know that none of it is her fault and that we will get through this together. I did my best to turn it into a positive. On the bright side, when we're done and this is behind us, we won't have the stress looming over us anymore, and we can move forward. Honestly, in a way I'm excited. 

Immediately after getting this news I sat down to do some breath work with an online MeetUp group. This is a first for me. My first meetup and my first real attempt at breath work. What an experience. It sounds hokey but it is hard work to make yourself breath like your running or doing vigorous exercise, just while sitting in a chair. It really gets your energy flowing and allows you to quickly achieve a meditative state. Really wonderful. Another thing to add to my daily routine. 

When I finished with the session, I thanked the host and went back to talk to Adrienne. She was crying and upset. I just grabbed her and gave her a big hug and said not to worry, everything will be okay. And for once I truly believed it myself. I wasn't just saying it to make her feel better. I know it's going to be okay. This is just a hiccup and we will move past this. This is giving me a chance to get caught up and focused. Sure, it's a nuisance at the moment but when it's done life will be simpler, and I won't let us fall into this situation again. 

After that, I went back to my computer and finally did something I'd been dreading since I quit. I contacted all my gaming friends on Discord and told them what was up. I told them why they hadn't seen me in a while and that I miss them, but if they wan't to see me again it will have to IRL. They are a good bunch and were all very supportive. It really felt good hearing there understanding responses. 

After that I organized two bags of receipts and bills for my future adventure in taxes. Pretty sure I have everything I need in order.

DAY 43

Got up around five and went into another room to meditate for an hour. After that I got up and went back to bed. What's the rush? I have the day off anyway. Ended up rolling out of bed around 11, had a light breakfast and then went for a short hike. My boss gave me the name of his accountant (so nice) so I gave her a call. No answer but I left a message on her machine. Then I contacted a friend about getting together this weekend. (Feels so strange to say that these days.) After that I called a car detailing  place and arranged for them to come by on the following weekend to detail my car. Never had that done before so I'm pretty excited, and the prices are reasonable. I do my best to keep it looking good, but I got it used and I think the upholstery could really use some work. Started to rain so I headed home.

Made a nice bean salad for lunch and then watched some youtube videos on plant medicines. Very interesting stuff. Then at 2:22 I joined in on another breath work Meetup session. This was even more intense then the first. By the time the session was over I felt like I'd worked out pretty hard. I was sweating and my body temperature was up. The weird thing is that it  was also a very relaxing experience. If you haven't experienced anything like this I can't suggest is highly enough. I started this journey by reading about a man named Wim Hof. A truly extraordinary man. In a book of his he explains a breathing exercise that he does and it's just wonderful. (You can find it on youtube as well - Wim Hof breathing) Really energizes you and relaxes you at the same time. However, it's a lot like exercise for me. It's a challenge to do on your own or without a coach. At least in the beginning. Joining these meetup groups has made it a lot easier. I am so grateful that people are willing to give up their time to teach it.

Made a nice dinner after that. Got some Tuna steaks on sale last week and cooked them up. New experience for me. They are so good! So much better then canned Tuna.  Might be the nicest cut of meat I've ever had. I will definitely be having those again. 

After that I checked my email and saw that the accountant had responded to my by email. I emailed her back and now I'm typing this journal entry. It's been a pretty wild couple of days. Not much has happened but so much has happened. I'm starting to feel like I'm almost being guided towards new interests. Meditation,  breath work, yoga. All these things are pretty new to me but I'm really drawn to them. They just make me feel so much better. 

I am grateful. I am grateful for my wife, my family and friends, to strangers willing to part with their time out of sheer goodwill, grateful for learning to take things as they come with calm and focus and I am very grateful to Cam and this community. You guys rock!

I wish you all success in your journeys and I hope you find peace in yourselves. 

 

 

[TheNewMe2.0]

Hey thank you for your well wishes. That's great you're finding new interests to partake in. I hope things go well with your taxes. Being able to work is important.

[MuMuMelon]

Day 45....wow! Much quit!

I fully intend to quit playing video games for the rest of my life. I've poured enough hours of my life into them. Still, I'm happy to reach the halfway point of the 90 day detox. Feels good. 

Had a bit of a down day yesterday so I didn't get up to much. Today I'm feeling much better. I drove to see my in laws in the afternoon. We went out to a nice fish and chips place in Statford, ON. Really great place. We went there specifically because they offer a gluten free fish and chips menu. That is extremely rare. I tried it as well and I have to say I barely noticed the difference. They really do a great job there. Totally worth the drive.

Since we got back home I've just been relaxing and reflecting on the last 45 days. I meditated for about an hour ago but it didn't go so great. I have RLS (restless leg syndrome) and it was really kicking in during meditation. However, I managed to keep my legs under control but doing so took a lot of focus. It's funny, my RLS only really seems to bother me in the evening. During the day it doesn't really bother me at all.

Haven't been doing Yoga the last couple days as I've been trying to let my rib heal. Still managing to get out and go for walks though.

Well, I'm off to bed. Pretty tired from all the driving today.

Keep kicking ass everybody!

[MuMuMelon]

Day 46

Pretty laid back day today. Meditated in the morning. After that I checked my email and saw that I got a message from my accountant letting me know that she would get back to me on Monday about some questions I had. Hopefully we get the ball rolling on getting my taxes completed next week too.

Met up with a friend in the afternoon and went for a bike ride and grabbed some sushi afterward. We decided to eat in the park. While we were eating a friend of ours from college just happened to walk by the park. We hailed him over and we chatted for another hour or two before I had to head home. Really nice to see him. Good to get out for a ride too.

After I got home I folded some laundry, did some dishes and watched a little Netflix. Did another short meditation session and now I'm off to bed.

Night all!

Keep the quit in your hearts! You all deserve to have the freedom not gaming brings!

[MuMuMelon]

Day 47

Moody AF today. Not sure why. Did my usual 1 hour meditation in the morning and felt good but it wasn't long after that that brain fog set in. Strange. I haven't experienced that in a few weeks. My whole day my mood has been sour. 

Still, I managed to cook breakfast, lunch (my wife helped), and dinner, went for a walk in the afternoon, read some of The Urban Monk (soooo close to finished), did some light grocery shopping and ran some errands. Not an entirely unproductive day but certainly not the most productive either. 

My head is still foggy now. Hopefully in the morning it will be clear. I hope so because I'm planning on going to a nearby park in the morning to do some group meditation. I happened to find a flyer taped to a pole on my way home from my walk. It might be nice to try something like that in a group. Who knows? Could be weird too. Guess I'll find out. 

This weekend is a bit of bummer on the gaming front. The last two years my gaming friends and I have been meeting up IRL to have a few drinks, play vids and just hang out. It's been pretty great the last couple of years. This year though they're all just getting online to hang out and play vids. For obvious reasons I will not be joining in. They know the scoop. I messaged them all a few days ago to let them all know. I just don't think I'm ready to join in on a twitch session to catch up. I know I would just feel left out. Kind of  a bummer but I'm not willing to sacrifice what I've achieved so far. Maybe next year I'll be able to just hang and chat, just not this year.

Have a good one everybody!

 

[TheNewMe2.0]

Good for you taking a step away from the gaming. Sorry that you're not hanging with friends though.

[MuMuMelon]

Day 49

(Yesterday (Day 48) was a nice Sunday. I took it easy, played some board games, read a little, did some yoga in the park and went for a hike. Pretty chill day. Meant to write a journal entry but fell asleep early and...didn't.)

Had a pretty intense day today. Good kind of intense though. Still no word from the accountant yet. I'll give her a call tomorrow to see what's up. This is a point of stress and I'd love to get things cleared up as soon as possible. 

Started the day off with a 45 minute mediation and a 20 minute Yoga routine. Just a nice, peaceful way to start the day. After that I made a nice avocado and fried egg sandwich for breakfast. Flippin' delicious! 

After that, my wife and I went to Cosco to do some shopping. Place was pretty busy but we managed to get in and out pretty quickly. Normally, going shopping in a place as busy as that would make me irritable AF. Not so much these days. I'm definitely a lot calmer and focused as of late. It's a very nice change of pace. 

When we got home I was going to go for a hike. Unfortunately, there was some rain happening so I ended up busting out the treadmill that we picked up yesterday (kindly donated by a nice local) and did a 45 minute brisk walk. Fast enough to get my blood pumping and my lungs working. I want to build myself up to do some running. I've just been taking it easy on myself as I was a smoker for a very long time. Walking up a steep hill can leave me winded. I'll get there. I'm just being patient with myself. While I was walking I watch 2 episodes of a show my friend recommended called Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds on youtube. Really thought provoking stuff. 

After that I made a plate of nachos for my wife and I. We sat down and watched an episode of Somebody Feed Phil on Netflix. Love that show. He seems like such a nice guy who deserves every nice meal he gets to experience. Only problem with that show is it makes me want to travel everywhere and eat everything. 

Did the dishes and then sat down to join a breathwork meetup group for an hour. Just an awesome experience. Really focuses my mind and opens my eyes to what the human body is capable of. I was feeling pretty tired before we started but when we were finished I felt energized. I ended up signing up for a day long workshop on breathwork for this coming Saturday. Really looking forward to it. I think everybody should know this stuff. 

After that I made a smoothie for dinner.

After that I finally finished The Urban Monk. It really is a wonderful book and I'll absolutely be reading it again in the near future. There are so many great practices in there that I'd like to integrate into my life. Next book on the list is The Secret Life of Plants. Sounds really interesting. 

And this brings us to right now as I type this. I'm tired but relaxed. I was planning on playing a board game before bed (just recently picked up a game called Spaceshipped - pretty great little solitaire game) but I don't think I've got it in me. 

All in all I'm feeling good. Just so happy about my life these days. I mean, I'd love to get my tax issues sorted, but that's life. There's always going to be something to stress out about. I guess it's just about how we handle it. 

Have a good night all. Stay safe out there and stay quit!

[MuMuMelon]

Day 50 - Woot!

I'm not sure what it was but I couldn't sleep at all last night. The weird thing was that I was exhausted when I went to bed. Did a bunch of exercise throughout the day, did some breath work in the afternoon, yoga in the morning. I was tired but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was wide awake. Nothing on my mind. Just tossing and turning all night. Think I got about two hours of sleep the whole night. That was soooo frustrating. It's possible that I had too much coffee throughout the day but that isn't usually an issue for me. Crossing my fingers that I fall soundly asleep tonight. 

Taxes are starting to get sorted so that's great. Turns out my wife's old friend used to do taxes and she agreed to help us out with ours. I'm sure it wasn't easy for my wife to ask for help but this is really going to move things along. Progress!

Anyway, another good day. Did some breath work via a meetup group and had a great experience. Went for my usual walk and then made lunch. After that I finished watching the Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds documentary on youtube. Very interesting and certainly worth a watch.  Started the book The Secret Life of Plants. So far, so interesting. 

After that I watched a Bill Burr comedy special on Netflix - Paper Tiger. That was pretty great and I had a laugh. I love me some stand up. 

Then I played a quick game of Spaceshipped (card game) and I'm just about to go to bed. I'm flippin' tired. 

Night all, and screw video games. Life if far more interesting.