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Everything posted by Martinof

  1. I won't recommend gum or hand grips, if it's done too much, it has negative effects (jaw, hands). Try to relax during 10min, sitting down or lying down, in silence or with a relaxing music. Easier said than done if we're too stressed ^^ Or if you need action (it seems so), put some music you like, and dance !
  2. It's quite simple, I tried to stop completely countless times, and it didn't work. I also tried moderation countless times, without success ^^ But recently, the addiction is less strong, it's not that exciting anymore. My main game became boring for me 1,5 year ago, but I used other games during ~1 year. I tried again to quit games, but it didn't work, I always had this FOMO (fear of missing out). So I think moderation could be possible. And it works very well so far, in the last 18 days (when I started moderation with new rules : 30min-1h max during the week, 2h max during the WE, some days without game), I didn't play 50% of the days ! Before it was nearly impossible to spend a day without gaming. During these 18 days, I only slipped 2 days (2h instead of 1h during the week, 3h instead of 2h during the WE), so it's not that bad for me. This allows small failures, instead of quitting, where a fail means (in general) starting all over, it's quite demotivating. So, I did what I wanted to do : no game last Monday night and yesterday, that wasn't easy ^^
  3. Oops, I slipped yesterday (Sunday), I played during 3h, while my limit was 2h. It's not a lot above the limit (it wasn't 8h for example), but it had a direct impact on my sleep, since I played late at night. Because of this, I went to bed really late and had only 3h of sleep :s So I have to stop this game, it's too addictive (uninstalled once on Saturday, twice on Sunday, and once today) Saturday and Monday were pretty ok (15min and 1h). So tonight and tomorrow no video game.
  4. Hi, I found an interesting link about some psychological tricks used to get us hooked (but the site could be triggering) : https://www.gamedeveloper.com/design/behavioral-game-design For example : having a lot of different activities possible, so if we're done with our principal mission, we can continue in the same game with other missions, and other missions, etc. Making some rewards happening randomly will make us play more : what if I get the reward the next time ?
  5. Hi, everything went way better than expected ! During 5 days (Monday -> Friday), I only played ~10min on Wednesday. The thing is that I always have something to do IRL. Of course I could act like before : play and postpone what I have to do. But now the games really feel like chores, for example : not enough space in inventory or storage, so I would need to waste my time to tidy up in a game... But I already have stuff to tidy up IRL lol Before I really had this "fear of missing out" (FOMO), I "had" to do the daily tasks for the daily rewards, even if they were lame. It could be daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal, even annual. I read something recently from a GQ article (https://gamequitters.com/video-games-lack-of-motivation/), about reinforcement schedule : it's really something I hate and that got me addicted, I had to plan my time around the game, instead of using the game when I really wanted to play (for example : when I'm done with my chores). From the article : "Reinforcement schedule : your child will be actively reinforced to come back to video games by allowing them to receive rewards and direct feedback for their efforts." Now this FOMO isn't strong anymore : the in-game rewards don't mean much. With my daughter I always maintain a good relationship, I wish I could spend more time with her. I'll spend most of the coming week with her (holidays), it will be nice. With my ex it's more complicated, but now more than before, I try to be nice with her (no more begging or accusing), it's better for the 3 of us.
  6. Yeah, I don't understand why they mention a "higher power", a lot of people don't believe in a higher power, so it won't work for them. But seeking and receiving help will help.
  7. Hi, don't be too hard with yourself, it can be counter productive Good luck 👍
  8. Hi, Friday was fine, I didn't play. And this weekend neither ! I was busy during the day with my daughter, and I had other priorities the evenings/nights (sport, spanish...) It feels good to put the games where they need to be : they're at the bottom of the list of priorities. Friday and Saturday I watch an episode of a series and a part of a movie (~1h and ~1h), so I guessed it helped to entertain me without using video games
  9. Hi, remember games are not your priority, your well-being is. So put them in the back seat. It doesn't matter if you relapse, keep trying. Better having 1 day without video games and 1 day with them, than 2 days with video games. We are here to help.
  10. Hi, as I said before, I relapsed : https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/10346-relapse-i-will-try-moderation/ I will try to play with moderation. I'm relieved that it's compatible with gamequitters : https://gamequitters.com/how-to-play-video-games-in-moderation/ So I will continue to post here, I think it can help me. And if it can help others, why not. If you feel moderation is not for you and you might be triggered by this, don't read ^^ So I read a bit about this (again), and I saw interesting things for children and teenagers that can work for me : 30min/1h a day during school/work, 2h max a day during the weekend, not every day of the week. I think the last part is very important : if it's not a habit anymore, it will be easier to deal with this. Last Saturday : ~2h ; last Sunday : ~2h -> I didn't plan to play this much, but it's still in the 2h limit, so it's quite ok for me for a relapse Last Monday : ~2h -> too much, i should have played less (1h) Last Tuesday : ~1h -> ok, in the limit Last Wednesday : 0 ! -> very nice, and no wifi ! I went to sleep very early for me : 23h Thursay : ~15min on an other game -> very nice, since it wasn't my main game, and it was very short Friday : I plan to play 0min, so it will be the 2nd day without video game in the week Saturday / Sunday : I don't know what to plan yet, max 2h each day
  11. Hi, after 16 days I relapsed. I will try moderation : not a long time per day, and several days a week/month without video games. And I need to see them simply as an entertainment, nothing more. I don't need the "achievements" (pompous name for doing sh*t stuff in general lol), the points, the in-game currency, the skins, the collections, etc. Edit : today I test a new thing for me : no wifi at home (and no video game)
  12. Hi, yes a 8 months old can be very needy, and without wanting to discourage you, it can last a long time (but it will be easier). What are the chores you need to do ? Can't your wife or a parent or anyone else can help you with that ? Does your baby have a nanny (during the week if you work) ? If your baby only wants to be with you, it's exhausting. And it may last like this a long time if nothing changes. I don't how much your wife is close to your baby, but you must include her (edit : and a relative a day per week if possible for example) in all the activities with your daughter. This way your daughter will learn to rely on your wife (and on the relative) when you're not available 24/7. Good luck, it's not easy ! But with all the help you can find, it will be easier Edit : you talked a lot about dying in your last message, it's sad you feel this way. Your daughter needs her mother alive, so keep fighting. Get all the help you can find (less chores, more time for yourself) so you can feel better. What were the plans you wanted to happen ? It can probably wait a few months, a few years, since there is a baby : it's a life changing event.
  13. Hi, 16/90 (June 24) The temptation to play is present, but I tell myself there are a lot of things I have to do, and can do in the real world.
  14. Ok, I didn't know you were touchy-feely, I understand your partner can be disturbed by this. As long as you can see your friends as often as before.
  15. Hold on, you can't be close to your friends because your long distance partner doesn't trust you ? That doesn't sound fair.
  16. Woo-hoo ! 2 weeks : 14/90 (June 22) I feel good 🙂
  17. Hi, 11/90 (June 19) I still see the little improvements without video games (meals, sport...), it's a good motivation to continue like this during 3 months
  18. Hi, if you like to be guided, you should plan what you will do, and write what you did. For example for sports : 4 times a week, 30min minimum, what kind of sport (include cardio, stretching). For writing : 5 times a week, 30min minimum a day for this month, then 45min the next month.
  19. Hi, I suggest you get 2 separate counters if you want to quit YouTube too. 1 counter, more important, for video games. And the other, for YouTube.
  20. Hi, good to see I give you motivation @Frettzo, now I'm even more motivated ! ^^ Little success : 9/90 (June 17) I went to the park today (I walked and ran), I didn't do something like this in a very long time, that was nice ! I see some improvements in my habits (sport, spanish, meals, shower, etc.), that's very good, but I still need to go to bed earlier. This weekend I see my daughter, I'm glad 👍 I want to play, but I tell myself that I have to finish the 90 days first, then maybe I'll play, 1 day per week for example. But with all the little improvements I see when I don't play, I don't think it would be a good idea to play after the 90 days, even 1 day per week, it would be a waste.
  21. Nice, be proud, continue like that 💪
  22. Hi, take a break, watch a movie or an episode of a series for example. At least it's not gaming, and it doesn't feel like work (the things you want to start, but you don't feel like doing them yet). edit : I also want to play, but I tell myself that I have to finish the 90 days first, then maybe I'll play, 1 day per week for example. But with all the little improvements I see when I don't play, I don't think it would be a good idea to play after the 90 days, even 1 day per week, it would be a waste.
  23. Hi, little success : 7/90, 1 week ! I felt like a month lol. Sometimes I want to play again, but this desire is not strong. I did an interesting exercise today : what if I could go back in time ? To key moments when I failed or needed to change. I made a list of these moments, and then I wrote what I should have done. And surprisingly, almost all the things I should have done could be applied to each of this moments : to be more hardworking (studies, work, looking for a better job, housework, etc.) ; to be more combative (why let the power to others ?) ; to be bolder (socially : friends, girls). That was the 3 main things for me, and I almost never think about this, I should keep this in mind. The 3 others things were : don't play video games, be careful to my sleep, and do more workouts. They're not secondary : with a lot of time spent on video games, a lack of sleep, not enough sport, well I won't have the strength to be hardworking, combative, bold. Since I can't go back in time, I "just" need to apply this to the present, for a better life. Try it and tell me what you find out 👍
  24. Hi, thank you for your comments ! Little success : 6/90 (June 14) Monday and Tuesday were pretty hard for me, but not for the video games. In fact I was sad, mainly because of work, then because of the loneliness (I couldn't see my daughter on Tuesday evening like before). Today was better, I wasn't sad. I do what I have to do at work (less procrastinating), and I feel better about my ex (I need to let her go : she's not interested). Since I feel better, I tell myself that I could game, "it won't hurt, right ?" lol, it's a trap ! I have to continue like this for the 90 days at least. If I feel better, it's partially because I don't game, so I need to keep going.
  25. Hi, little success : 4/90 (June 12) I did a lot of things I wanted to do, I even went to bed early : 23:30 (it's early for me lol, usually I went to bed around 1:00). The disadvantage is that I was pretty bored during the evening, having to do my tasks without much procrastinating so I can go to bed early.