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WorkInProgress

Mario's Journal,

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7.7.2016 (NF Day 14)

I realised later on the I don't want to be interesting to other people. I want to be excited about my own life. Sure other people matter too but how spinips said if something is interesting depends on the person watching it,. The problem is to find his own life boring. I think this is important because it shifts the focus more on to myself. I can work on either doing more exciting stuff or work on finding the stuff I do more exciting.

I tried to talk to strangers in the train on my way to work but couldn't get over myself.  I think I need a script for the approach (sadly what time is it? seems dumb now where everyone has an smart phone at hand).
First idea is just to introduce myself and then tell them I am trying to find a new way to make the daily train ride more entertaining. Because smart phones are boring and I don't want to read right now. Boah even thinking about that scenario  makes me anxious, This is seriously something I have to improve. Never thought I had a problem socially because I am most of the time out with friends or family. If I got in contact with strangers I either have a valid incentive( like I want something to eat or I need someone to study with) or I am drunk. Just to talk people to get to know them, is a strange concept to me.

I enjoy my daily exploration walks a lot. I am still youtube and facebook free and stopped my mindless browsing to the point where I just check gamequitters more often then I would like.

But all in all I am very happy with the development. My daily "routine" is still whacky though. I think I just reduce it to 1.make my bed. 2.Make stretching exercises 3.toothbrushing and shaving  4.reading(10min) and Journal 5. do some programming(15min/120min). My walk thing I will just fit in somewhere later. Exercise will come back later on when my hands are healed. I am actually kind of annoyed of the training break but I realise too that I know have some more time everyday so I try to use that.

"7 habits ....":

I am working on finding my values to give my new value centered lifestyle a solid foundation:

Values important to me are: Honesty, Reliability, Empathy, Open-Mindedness, Diligence, Selfimprovement, Proactivity, Taking Responsibilty for your actions, Bravery(having fear but still act when you know it is right),gentleness, Curiousity. I will write them down into short sentences I will read every day:

I am honest with myself and others.

I think, before I make promises to myself or to others and keep them.

I empathize with others struggles.

I am willing to accept or test other points of view .

I am diligent at working on my goals.

I improve myself everyday in some area.

I am responsible to make things happen in my life.

I accept the consequences of my actions

I do what's right not what's easy.

I am gentle to myself and others.

I am curious to learn new things about me, others or the world.

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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FYI Mario: When you reach 800 posts I think you can go into your profile and set a custom title. :)

Cool. Time to get creative!

Hooray!

Edited by WorkInProgress
and hooray on the chat extension :D

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Those are some great values to live by! I've tried having a bunch like that before, but it just didn't stick because I wasn't able to apply such a large number of ideas to my day without forgetting them altogether. Perhaps look into narrowing down to just 3 important ones that you can focus on right now, I've been to a software development firm that dumped their mission statement in favour of three proud values for employees to embody: Open, trusted, courageous. It worked really well for them! Giving this advice has prompted me to find some core values that I would like to live by. I'll add them to my journal like you have :)

It's unfortunate you're not finding other people interesting. Just be aware that everyone is interested in themselves primarily, so even just asking about what someone's hobbies are and letting them ramble on about it can be a good way to be a good conversationalist. I would think its essential to have an interest in another person if you want to have a meaningful conversation with them, so perhaps you could think about all the endless opportunities you'd have to meet self-aware people like yourself? Just my thoughts on that, I could be completely wrong.

I hope you manage to develop some interesting conversation on the train :D

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Those are some great values to live by! I've tried having a bunch like that before, but it just didn't stick because I wasn't able to apply such a large number of ideas to my day without forgetting them altogether. Perhaps look into narrowing down to just 3 important ones that you can focus on right now, I've been to a software development firm that dumped their mission statement in favour of three proud values for employees to embody: Open, trusted, courageous. It worked really well for them! Giving this advice has prompted me to find some core values that I would like to live by. I'll add them to my journal like you have :)

It's unfortunate you're not finding other people interesting. Just be aware that everyone is interested in themselves primarily, so even just asking about what someone's hobbies are and letting them ramble on about it can be a good way to be a good conversationalist. I would think its essential to have an interest in another person if you want to have a meaningful conversation with them, so perhaps you could think about all the endless opportunities you'd have to meet self-aware people like yourself? Just my thoughts on that, I could be completely wrong.

I hope you manage to develop some interesting conversation on the train :D

Thank you for your advice. I get wher you are coming from. Maybe I structure them in a way of my different roles. For example husband: 1. 2. 3. Student 1.2.3. etc. I will think about it. My hope is if I keep thinking about my values the system will order itself after priorities.

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8.7.2016 (NF Day 15)

Yesterday was a great day.

I did finally get over myself. Three stations before the end of line on my way home I sat down to a bearded stranger and initiated a conversation. I asked him if he was a biology or mathematics professor(they are most of the time bearded and look similar). He was amused and told me he is electrical constructor. Had a nice conversation about his work and his retirement plans(he will move to Sweden with his wife in around 3 years). I was pretty nervous and I need to work on letting people time to answer. I cam to him and said"HiMyNameIsMario  1sek break CanIaskYouAQuestion? 1sek break ISawYouAFewTimesInTheTrainAndWasWonderingIfYouAreAMathematicsGuy? Basically not waiting for him to introduce him back or answer at my questions. In review I do this often times when I a, nervous(application interview for example). But feels great to overcome yourself in that way :) He was kind of surprised but I have the feeling that he enjoyed the conversation. He was my target because he had no Smartphone and just sat around. I get the feeling hat smartphones are a big killer of being interested in other people. It is like a barrier against the world if you stare the whole time in public on your little screen. Basically you are saying I am busy don't interrupt me, while in reality you jsut wasting your time away with candy crush.

I will definitely do this two times a week now. Even if I have to ride the train only for this. I see that this is an awesome growing experience for me.

As I came home my internet connection was down due to a net disturbance. I was allready giving up on my programming plans but then I remembered a book I bought some tiem ago(Modelling with Matlab) and started reading it instead of python studies. It sounds very interesting and I will switch too it if I finish my python book.

This morning I was able to fulfil my morning routine! Momentum is building and it is great!

I am baffled how much the need of using masturbation was an misconception. I am over two weeks fapfree and even if I think it would have is benefits or enjoyment factors to do it again, this feeling is far away from a "need". I think after NoFap I will regulate this, to make sure that I don't use it as instant gratification and have no problems with it.

"7 Habits..."

Here my shorter but more concise value listing:

Be honest. Be curious. Do improve. Do what is right. Be gentle. Be proactive. Be grateful.

 

 

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Wrote my yesterdays post and forgot to post it :(. Luckily it was still saved.

9.7.2016 (NF Day 16)

To spare you too much to read and in consideration of my last long post I keep this short. I had a nice(surprisingly long) Talk with Tyrone and it was fun to talk about all that self development stuff with someone in person. All in all it was an ok day but I was very tired due to less sleep (Germany played in the night before) . So I did take a little nap around 1am and let it stretch to 1,5 hours of being half awake in the bedroom. It as resting but was too long. I had to skip my walk and some additional programming for it. Next time I make sure to keep it under 30min. Also did I evade a uncomfortable phone call and some house cleaning. I dId miss my goal to stay true to my plan to 90% but all in all it was still an good day.

 

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Hey guys, be prepared for my last weeks journal entrys coming soon. Had and still have(I write this from work) some internet issues. Feel free but not obliged to read it all( it will be a lot). If your to lazy to read everything take this summary. Everything is fine. Morning routine works for the first time and my wife reads my journal posts now too :D.

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Internet will still not work for some time but I will check in from time to time if I am in a different spot where I can access w-lan.

 

11.7-17.7:

Journal 11.7. (NF Day ???)

 

I am having some Internet issues whilst riding this, thats why this journal will be updated whenever my Internet is working working again ( I am writing this in LibreOffice).

The main thing I want to tell you guys is that my wife told me that she was tempted to google this site and read my journal, because she was interested in this activity I spend so much time with. Even if the idea of her reading all of this, seemed a little awkward at first I decided to give her my permission to read it. I don't want to do anything in my life were I have the feeling that I can't tell her about. She was amused by some things, bewildered by others and all in all very interested because it showed a reflective side of me, which I don't show off so much while we talk. I am very glad that I decided to do it, because now the feeling of a parallel life fades and the different roles in my life (husband/student/struggling individual) seem to fit together better and give a congruent version of what I write, think and life.

I decided this weekend to give up my daily programming lectures and do more off a changing schedule. That means that I do still study everyday for 60-240 minutes, but now I will put an exception for Sundays and switch between different subjects. For the next two weeks this will be programming,linux and modelling with matlab. The idea behind this is to have a bigger chunk of time dedicated to one subject at a time and not splitting it in too many different activities. Because of me not working for the rest of the month I want to use the time to speed-boost my studying and finish the python book in the next week. After this I will focus on Matlab more to be prepared for my Internship.

 

Journal 12.7. (NF Day ???)

 

Another off-line report from me. My Internet stays down until Friday when a technician will come to my house and hopefully fix the line. First I was really annoyed of this, because I couldn't check gamequitters anymore. Now I see this as chance to be more effective with my time and focus on myself, instead of the other gamequitters(Sorry guys but my Internet broke :P ) . I guess only a few will read all of this journal entry's I will publish at one time but that is ok. Today I substituted my google calendar with a piece of paper and made a week schedule. I try to combine my todo's with the values and goals I identified in the past. For example I put down cleaning different areas of the apartment and working in the garden in the category order. I know that I want more order and structure in my life, because it will make me more flexible on the things that matter if the basic stuff(like a clean apartment and laundry) are automatized with blocked times. Also it shows that I control my life and that my life doesn't control me. While I write this I realize, that this is the reason why I need a cleaning plan like Sheldon Cooper. My wife is away over the weekend so I will use the time to clean the apartment and do some extra stuff I procrastinated for a while now. After this I'll define a status quo I want to keep the apartment in (acceptable order and tidiness). And then I will write down a schedule and try to keep it in this status quo. This thing is too long in the back of my head and I am sure I could free a lot of my brain resources if I just did it. I guess I never actually did it because the reason to do this felt external and not internal. Or I am just lazy and dislike cleaning :P. Well now is the time.

After the week at Sunday I will review how the week went and identify what went well and what I want to improve the next week.

 

Journal 13.7.2016 (NoFap Day ????)

 

Yesterday was hard. I did only the most important things I wrote in my daily plan and it was hard to do even these. I felt depressed the whole morning and even watched an hour of tv and tried to lift my mood with ice cream(didn' work ofcourse). But I highly suspect the missing possibility to entertain myself with gamequitters to be the reason for this. Seems like I needed a little break there to realize this. I don't actually now what consequences this will have if I have my connection to the world wide web back.

On the upside it seems that my morning routine gets more stable. The key for me was to keep the same order of things and do one thing after another. This was only possible if I started the routine when my wife left for work. What I do every morning: 1.brush my teeth 2. Do stretching exercises(5-10min) 3. make my bed 4. make breakfast 5. eat it in the Garden 6.write in my journal 7.Read in a Selfdevelopment book (10min) Shower and shave.

 

Yesterday I thought a lot about my values and values that are “good” or “bad”. It is kind of hard to categorize values because all of them can have good and bad consequences. Honesty is a great attitude most of the time but in some extreme situations there are more important things( like saving a life for example). My value here is to be honest whenever possible and if I need to stretch this value not to say something untrue and be silent instead. It isn't nice or smart to talk everything out which is in your head without being asked. If some one asks you though to tell them what you thinking in my opinion the truth is the only “good” option.

I think I will write a short reflection of this kind on one value of mine at the end of the next few entries. It helped my clarifying my thoughts a lot.

 

Journal 14.7.2015 (NoFap Day 1)

I actually don't feel motivated to write a journal entry today. But I guess routine isn't about being motivated every time. I did most of the things I wanted to do yesterday but I had a lot of plans for this week(i.e. study for 12 hours and clean the apartment) and have fulfilled only a small part of it. Now my wife is away for 3 days and the two days I am at home I want to use to make some ground on my weekly goals. Actually I was on the edge of just giving them up but writing here seems to awaken a little fighting will. I want to hang some pictures on the wall and clean every room thoroughly(approx. 5Hours of time investment. Also Do I want to study for another 10 hours. Today I have basically one hour in the morning and the evening for work and I will try to get some things done today already.

 

Order. Is it smart to keep everything in order? It makes you more efficient if you get to work and it spares you energy over the whole day. On the other hand there is often talk of creative chaos. But I don't think chaos in your living room will make you more creative. This sounds to convenient and is surely a myth a messy writer gave birth too. You want things to be in order, but you want also spend as much time as possible working in such an ordered working space. I think little routines like finding a place for everything lying around and return it to it's place after usage every time reduces your time cleaning up and make this goal achievable. I am thinking as long as it is attainable without spending too much time(more then 20mn daily) having an ordered working and living environment is worth it every time. Now I “just” have to make it reality. An possible slight edge action would be o clean up an corner of your rooms everyday for at least 10min.

 

Cleaning: 2/7 hours

Studying: 2/12 hours

extra tasks: pictures, mow lawn, talk with 0/2 strangers, make cat net secure

 

Journal 15.7.2016

Yesterday was a good day. In the morning I started with tidying up the apartment inspired by my reflection about order. Then I went to my mothers place to celebrate her birthday together with my family. As I came home at 8pm I didn't do any studying or stuff and instead sat in front of the TV for 1-2hours and gone to sleep. I actually don't feel bad about it. Today it was kind of hard to stand up at my planned time and I ended up snoozing for 30min. I have a lot of free time and will start an hardcore study day. I will use the pomodoro technique and try to make a step forward in my linux skills.

 

Love. Love is a word with many meanings and facets like romantic love, love for your comrades the love a mother bares for her child or the love for an abstract idea like god or your state. I think one of the main features of love is that it is unconditionally. It isn't love in my book if you love someone only in times where he behaves like you like. Because of this fact love is forgiving and can make you forgive things you otherwise would carry around for a long time. On the other hand love justifies often unhealthy relationships and makes your life hell. I tried to be careful not to get sucked in this hellhole and feel like I succeed so far. To express this love you bare can be a powerful tool to be happy and make good relationships you have in your live stronger . I want to be loving with my family and spouse and show them how much I care for them. Also do I want to be able to feel this sense of love you get if you really think about someone you care for, more often in my everyday live. Also I want to feel the love of live more often. The pure happiness to be alive and able to think and do stuff in this world.

 

16.7.2016

Yesterday was a productive day but I missed human interaction. Being alone at home, lets me value the daily company my wife is giving to me, even more. Still haven't made a cleaning plan -.-. I set half an hour aside this morning only for this purpose. Today I am at a wedding and will afterwards go meet with an old friend in the city. On the downside I won't be able to study/clean much today. It will be close with my weekly goals. But if I make an last big effort I will be able to make it.

 

Cleaning: 3/7 hours

Studying: 5,5/12 hours

extra tasks: pictures, mow lawn, talk with 0/2 strangers, make cat net secure

 

17.7.2016

No chance in hell that I make it today. It is already 10:15 and I didn't study yesterday. I have around 7 hours of time until my wife is coming back and that means it is impossible for me. I will first do my day and then analyze my week.

Had good fun yesterday and I was way more confident talking to people I don't know at the wedding. I even met a woman there, who is a friend of my supervisor at my internship. I start to see how being self confident in the interaction with others has his benefits. Was way more fun getting to know new people, then just sitting all day with my family eating and drinking.

 

Cleaning: 3/7 hours

Studying: 5,5/12 hours

extra tasks: pictures, mow lawn, talk with 2/2 strangers, make cat net secure

 

Summary of the week (10.7.-17-7.)

 

Points to improve next Week:

- Stick to my weekly schedule and implement the cleaning schedule.

- Save more time for studying(I would like to improve from around 6hours to 15 hours of studying)

- Stick to my morning routine 7/7 instead of 5/7 times.

- Do this organizational task for university I did hide from this week

- start NoFap again(stopped without a proper reason and it feels bad)

 

 

Things which went well this week:

- I did socialize a lot and pushed my borders at that front.

- I had a lot of fun at walking through the area around my house

- I was nice to many people around me and took the initiative organizing meet-ups

- I did study and write my journal without having Internet. I found a way to solve the problem

instead of using it as an excuse.

 

- started to make a weekly schedule which seems like a great tool

 

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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18.7.-24.6.:

18.7.2016

New week, new luck. I will make a new week plan this morning. Main goals for this week is to get my studies going and to keep the apartment clean. I managed to clean most of it yesterday, so everything was shiny and pretty as I welcomed my wife. She was very happy about it and I am glad that I could make her a pleasant welcome this way. I told myself so often that I just need to keep things clean now, after I cleaned with such a big effort. But somehow it never worked out. Actually not somehow… I just procrastinated the tasks I knew I had to do and neglected the bigger actions like cleaning the refrigerator or the windows all together. Well at least this week, this will not happen. My plan is to tidy up and doing daily tasks everyday for 30min-60min. This way everything stays in order. In addition to this I will do 6hours of cleaning where 2 hours are set away for bigger tasks. Tomorrow I will clean the fridge and at Thursday I will clean the living room windows/how much of them I get done in one hour. On the study front, I need to get some organizational task done and want to study for 12hours. My goal for this 12 hours is to do at least 4 chapters of “Modelling with Matlab” and fill eventual free time with Python if my Internet connection is working again.

 

Study hours: 0/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 0/7 days

Daily Routine: 0/7 days

Cleaning: 0/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

19.7.2016

Yesterday I got the possibility to work for another 4 days including this Thursday. This is awesome because now I can make some extra cash for next month( I will get paid for my internship at the end of the month. Of course does this also mean that I miss 8 hours of my week and maybe will loose some momentum on my weekly goals. I try to fulfill them anyway and yesterday was a good start for this. Studying Modeling went ok but was exhausting. I did use the pomodoro technique and used extended breaks to maw the lawn. I am happy with the day but today I want to be more effective with my studying and don't make a 30min break every 30minutes of studying.

 

Study hours: 2/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 1/7 days

Daily Routine: 1/7 days

Cleaning: 0/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

20.7.2016

Yesterday was a very unproductive day. After my morning routine I decided to take a nap because I didn't sleep well. That was bad decision. As I finally was fully awake two hours later I did nothing. I just read some fiction and did minor houseworks and read some more. Felt really shitty to ignore the things I had planned. I take this as a lesson to not go napping again before 12am. Still no internet here but I should get an Internet stick tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. So I am excited to check out gamequitters once more.

If I think back not going to gamequitters every morning enabled me to keep my morning routine. I think I will keep writing my journal entries outside gamequitters and copy them in later if I have finished my morning routine and at least one hour of productive activities.

 

Study hours: 2/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 2/7 days

Daily Routine: 2/7 days

Cleaning: 0/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

21.7.2016

Yesterday was a good day. I had a nice exploration walk in the morning and climbed a tree for the first time since I was little. It was really fun. It felt like a flashback in my childhood. I thought a lot about my childhood at this walk and it was a really pleasant hour. Crazy that I would have played only one game of league of legends in the same time. I studied a lot and made some progress with modeling in matlab. Spent a lot of time debugging a simple sample program I have written myself, because I couldn't download it. Took too much time but it reminded me a lot of my bachelor thesis time and I feel like I got better at problem solving since them. My hands are finally healed and I will start working out next week again. I am hyped about that one! Today I will work and will check gamequitters again. Let's see if you missed me ;)

 

Study hours: 5/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 3/7 days

Daily Routine: 3/7 days

Cleaning: 1/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

22.7.2016

Yesterday my morning routine left me in a good mood and I went energized to work. Sadly I couldn't resist the temptation and didn't work to much and visited gamequitters instead using the time to check up on journals I missed over the last two weeks. I will catch up next week where I have some more workdays. I actually didn't miss too much at gamequitters. As I came home and my internet issues still remained I was furious though. They promised me a free surf stick for compensation and as it turned out I still have to pay a monthly bill for this stick. As I tried to reach the service hotline I waited for 25min and after I voiced my complaint the connection broke… I will change my provider now because of this shit. I don't know why I got so angry about this issue out of the blue but I went for a little walk to cool down which worked wonders. Maybe I just was happy to get my stuff done I had put aside because my lack of internet connectivity. I will visit my mum and use her w-lan instead next week. Had a nice relaxed evening with my wife but didn't forget to throw some time in to tidy up. So far I managed to keep my apartment orderly which is great.

 

Study hours: 5/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 4/7 days

Daily Routine: 4/7 days

Cleaning: 1/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

23.7.2016

I did some stuff yesterday, but decided to do some gardening work instead of the planned housework tasks. I think this is ok, as long as I stay productive, I don't have to follow my schedule so precisely. Studying was interesting but I didn't spent enough time on it. I did start exercising again and now my muscles are sore. I am happy and thankful that I can do this again. Now my little fat belly will be worked into hard muscle ;)

 

Study hours: 7/12 hours

Daily Tidying up: 5/7 days

Daily Routine: 5/7 days

Cleaning: 3/6 hours

extra achievements: organizational things for University, mow lawn, organizational things Internship, Pictures

 

24.7.2016

My wife is sick and that's why I spent a lot of time to take care of her. I still managed to do most of my daily chores but I missed on studying.

 

Summary 18.6.-24.6.2016

I am pretty content about the week even if I missed some goals didn't do some stuff I wanted to do and had a big down at Wednesday. I was social active and managed to keep the household in order which is a big win for me. Also did I spent a shift on work and managed to do some extra stuff I hadn't planned

A conclusion I've drawn is: plans are fine but if something more important comes up like personal problems or opportunities you need to be flexible enough to neglect your plans for some time.

I still could have done a lot more if I'd managed too pull through my mild depression at Wednesday and catch myself at a few other times. I feel like the key challenge next week is to implement my strength exercises besides working a lot and having to do a lot of organizational work I postponed or couldn't do because my lack of Internet connectivity.

 

Last week missed goals:

- cleaning windows and refrigerator

- 12 hours of studying

 

 

Goals for next week:

- keep apartment in order.

- study every day (8hours/week) and do 3 times workout even if I have workdays

- get some organizational stuff done to free my mind. At least half of it.

- Do clean the windows

- start internship protokoll

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@Cam Adair thanks. If it made someone smile it was worth my creative input :) Makes me think that I still spent too much time on your site :P. Not having internet helps with this I guess. When my internet is back I will stay with posting only weekly progress reports and some additional rambling about thoughts and feelings of mine in between. My Daily journal will be private then. But we'll see how things go.

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hi do you mind if i make 500 posts in this topic thanks

 

edit: actually 492

I am pretty sure your own journal entrys count 2 :) Thought also about the abuse potential if someone just spams his own journal to get these super powers. But It is only a changeabel title so who really cares about it :D

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I will stop posting here for some time, because me not having Internet will be the norm for some time. I am ok though and will be back ;)

Look forward to your return! Have a great time until then! 

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10.8.2016

Hey guys,

I ran out of work at my internship for today and thought I update my Journal.

Now being at work for eight hours a day (+ around 90min travelling time), does leave me wiht little free time on my Hands. I still do workout three times a week after work because I think of this as an Investment in my health. I also try to clean the appartment as good as possible but I am not too strict about that point. Working at my internship is actually great and I allready talked with a lot of People here and got some insights about scientific work at research institutes( founding, everyday problems, communication path etc.) . It also provides me with the opportunity to learn some new skills and programms which will be useful for my career.

On the negative side of the last week I fell behind at my self development Goals. I didnT took the opportunites to talk to strangers to reduce some social mindset barriers and I didn't made time for personal study. Also my I need to spend more time talking to my Family because I missed out on this the last two weeks.

It is an readjusting process but I like working eight hours so far. And it leaves me, no time to procrastinate things which makes me feel productive all the time :P

Have a good day guys

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