Jump to content

NEW INTERVIEW: Porn is destroying a generation... one erection at a time! w/ Gabe Deem

Sign in to follow this  
WorkInProgress

Mario's Journal,

Recommended Posts

28.6.2016 (NF Day 6)

This week is a little more relaxed because I use the time my wife is at home(this week) to spend some time with her, watch soccer together and basically relax and be social. I don't block to much time to try new things and just stick to my hour of python-programming and exercising. I skipped yoga lately and I don't know if I just stick with training 3times a week for some time or if I start jogging again. I feel a little sickly today and slept bad because my nose was blocked several times at night. I will exercise anyway because all the reasons not to do it are feeling like excuses.

Also I started thinking lately about a general way of thinking at my computer usage. I slowly start to understand many processes and think this opens the door to create tools to customize my computer experience. But I am kind of clueless what tools I will need in work life later on. I hope that the book I am working on right now will give me some ideas. Also if I keep this question( what can I do with this knowledge?) in my head, I will see more opportunities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Cam Adair Yeah Iceland is awesome:D I am German and that's why I wish they win the tournament(and semifinals for Iceland is success enough for them ;))

29.6.2016 (NF: Day 7)

I finished one week of nofap and so far it works out fine. It is good to realise that this cravings for porn are just cravings and that the sex drive is not something you need to fulfil. This is just an experiment for 90days though. Only porn will be banned out of my life forever. Yesterday I did go to a porn side but fought the urge to watch something because I knew that this would deteriorate my willpower really quick.

Did spent some time on my coding yesterday(6hours) but it was very unstructured. I found an Integrated Development Environment I will use in the future( eclipse with a plugin for python) but it was kind of complicated to set it up on linux. I am actually not sure if I need an IDE but I thought I bring the stuff on a more professional level and try to think like a software developer. This IDE is complex and has many features but I try to explore them while I keep learning Python and we'll see if the effort will pay off. Next time I will try to be less headless and more systematic if I fight through difficult topics or tasks. But this time pure effort worked.

I enjoy reading the book about scientific thinking kortheo recommended and realize while reading it that I never actually did real experiments with my life. I try things but I fail to think critically about there influences and really measured them. I think I will try to measure the influence of NoFap on my life. My hypothesis is that NoFap will give me more energy and an higher urge to socialize. I will try to measure these factors and after a month check the results and with this journal I have a tool to check if something else in my life  influenced my results. Also do I try to use my sick  coding skills to scrape this data out of my journal. I want my program it to write automatically the date and my results into an openLibre file. That would be great.

Experiment(Day1) 

Morning:

Energy Lvl: 4/10  Social meet-ups: 0

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I enjoy reading the book about scientific thinking kortheo recommended and realize while reading it that I never actually did real experiments with my life. I try things but I fail to think critically about there influences and really measured them. I think I will try to measure the influence of NoFap on my life. My hypothesis is that NoFap will give me more energy and an higher urge to socialize. I will try to measure these factors and after a month check the results and with this journal I have a tool to check if something else in my life  influenced my results. Also do I try to use my sick  coding skills to scrape this data out of my journal. I want my program it to write automatically the date and my results into an openLibre file. That would be great.

Niiiice! I'm doing the same thing but from a bit of a different perspective – Shortening my streak periodically and trying to identify some changes. It'll be great to hear your take on it. :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Spinips Yeah maybe we find a good way to deal with this together. But I guess I keep the results to this more private/general because I am married and my sex life(and I won't stop having sex in this period) is no ones business.

I decided to stop youtube for some time. Basically I watch calisthenics videos and film trailers which isn't a good use of my time. And I seldom learn something new(the tapp brothers are a pleasant exception). And it is hard not to get porn triggered with all these boobie thumbnails there. I will try to double down on improving my life and not wasting my free time with things I just do because they comfortable( would be a different thing if I'd really enjoy watching youtube but it just something I turn too if I am bored or procrastinating. I could definetly jsut walk around my area and have the same amount of fun. Maybe I will do this the next week. Just every time I am bored I go discovering some new part of the area around my apartment. I could also try some parkour moves in a way I did it as a kid(just climb around try not to touch the ground, stuff like this. The mroe I think about this the more I like it. Like jogging it is active and outside but in a way more playful way.

OK for accountability here are my goals:

Juli goals.

Discover something new about the area I live/work in and post it here every day,

Don't spend any time on youtube or pornsites

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Spinips Yeah maybe we find a good way to deal with this together. But I guess I keep the results to this more private/general because I am married and my sex life(and I won't stop having sex in this period) is no ones business.

Yeah of course, I understand that this kind of things are very personal. It'll be interesting to hear your thought about NF. :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

30.5.2016(NF: Day 8)

I have a month from now until my internship begins. My wife wants me to work somewhere for this time because we are a little short on money lately. This makes sense but I kind of don't want to. I am not exactly sure why I am opposed to the idea. I think because most of the jobs out there are meant to be done for longer then a month and I never did work in a restaurant or though and have some anxiety towards it. It even stresses me out writing about it what is impressing. I think I should try to find a job anyway. We could use the money and if I am honest I am maybe just lazy. Whatever the reason it is pushing my comfort zone which is a good thing. Today I work in my sisters practice but afterwards I will write down 2-3 applications.

I think a lot lately how about the topic that I make things hard in my imagination. Many things I have anxiety to do are in reality not hard at all. I try to think: how would I do it if it were easy? And if I am in a good mood things become easy. I.e.: It is easy to clean your apartment but still it seems hard and exhausting sometimes. It is like I trained myself to struggle at easy activities and this has to stop. I feel like I need to cultivate a pattern of thought where I first do the things I have to do and only afterwards judge how challenging they were and why they were challenging. That would help me escape the doubts and willpower exhaustion.

Experiment (Day2)

Engergy Lvl: 6/10 Social meet-ups: 2

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 I never did work in a restaurant or though and have some anxiety towards it

Sounds like a good thing to do then.If you feel some anxiety it won't be boring, and you come out stronger afterwards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1.7.2016 (NF Day 9)

 I never did work in a restaurant or though and have some anxiety towards it

Sounds like a good thing to do then.If you feel some anxiety it won't be boring, and you come out stronger afterwards.

I will write applications today and see what comes around. I had a nice evening yesterday playing games and watching soccer with two friends, where one is pretty new to the little group of people I care about. It was really fun but I realised that I seldom are vulnerable before others. I have only really a few people where I am comfortable to be vulnerable around and thats my wife and my best friend. I think I should extend that circle. There is no shame in being vulnerable.

The other social thing I can improve is story telling. I told a few people in the last days about the thunder storm at the festival I attended and realised that my story sucked. I didn't told a story at all. I just counted the facts down and let some real feelings from my perspective through. But it would been so easy to make an interesting story out of this experience. I learned that it isn't acting or pretentious to tell things in form of a good story.

Experiment (Day2)

Engergy Lvl: 5/10 Social meet-ups: 1

Edited by WorkInProgress

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Cam Adair actually I am in a no youtube challenge right now. But I will come back to them after this month

 I forgot to mention at my journal that I did make my exploration walk. I explored an industrial area and found a little meadow with a lot of wil flowers on it. So I made a little flower bouquet and surprised my wife with it. She absolutely loved it :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I made a little flower bouquet and surprised my wife with it. She absolutely loved it :)

Sometimes simple solutions are the best :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@hycniejsy Hey you were pretty active yesterday. Nice work and thanks for the support!

2.7.2016 (NF Day 10)

I fell like I've building momentum again which is nice. I am confident that I'll finish NoFap right now and even if not using the computer for entertainment is hard, I see how my brain works on finding new creative solutions to the entertainment problem( like spending time with my wife, or being interested in new things) which is great. I did my exploraton thing yesterday and checked what's behind the supermarket I shop in. Nothing special but found some rails which could be a nice parkour training spot if I want to go for it. It is kind of crazy to see how your conception of things( I have to masturbate/have sex 3times a week or I will go crazy) are just bullshit if you put them the test.

Also I will start reading self-development literature everyday again for 10min. It kind of put my mind on the important things in life. I read yesterday in the 7 habits of successful people and thought a lot about the productivity vs productive capability principle. Basically it means you should find a balance between actually producing things and improving in he process of producing results. Sounds very logically and it is awesome to read someone thoughts about such basic concepts.

On the negative side: I did stop exercising lately because I want to wait until my Hands and my physical state are in a better shape. I think I will pause another week and then dive into it again. This night I will go out partying but next week I will focus on getting my health in order and feeling as good as possible. I will sleep at least 8hours drink at least 2l of water and will do moderate exercise like yoga everyday). I will just focus on living as healthy as possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3.7.2016 (NF Day 11)

I didn't go party with my wife after the soccer game as we planned. We are both a little sickly lately and we decided that sleep deprivation wouldn't be a good decision. I feel like I am a little unstructured lately because I had a lot of one time actions in my life(like helping my mother in her garden for a day, or occasionally work opportunities) which brought my schedules out of rhythm. This in addition with not exercising let me loose a lot of structure. That's why I will do a minimum daily routine( I do all the things there everyday anyway but not necessarily in this order):

-make my bed

-do 5-10min stretching programm

-eat my usual breakfeast( oatmeal with banana and quark) and drink my coffee

- *new* walk for 20min and think about your day

- read for 10min in the "7 habits of..."

- do at least 20min of programming

If I have more time I will do more programming (goal is 2hours right now). My hope is that a structured morning will lead to a more structured life.

 Positive endnote: My hands seem to finally heal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4.7.2016 (NF Day 12)

I really start to enjoy the "7 habits of successful people". read this morning about pro activity and how your language and way of thinking matters. Every time I say I have to or I can't you have to think twice if that's true or just something you say. For example I can't fly and throw laser beams out of my eyes: definitely true. I can't find a job because my grades are so bad: Really? Everyone knows that's bullshit. It may be hard to find a job but you have to ask yourself, did I really tried everything to get a job? Are there out of the box ways to get a job? Do I prioritise getting a job in my life? Most of the time the answer will lead to a conclusion like this: getting a job is hard and I dislike many jobs I could get, that's why I don't find a job.

This is something I do more often then I realize I fear. Blaming the world and not beeing honest with myself. Feel free to point my noise into the bullshit I produce here at any time!

I go now back to programming and finish ym morning routine. I will have to move the journaling out of the morning soon, because I see a lot of possibility of this leading to procrastinating. So many interesting journals to read here :) For this week I stick with doing journalling whenever I want to but next sudnay I will commit to a regular timing of gamequitters.

Have a nice day and see you tomorrow fellow gamequitter who reads this.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Totally agree were your coming from when you say: blaming the world and not being honest with yourself. I read in then book how to win friends and influence people (you must reed this book by the way) that any man can point the blame, point the finger and criticise, but it takes the stronger man and more mature who has self control to look at there actions and see how they could have helped instead of condemning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5.7.2016 (NF Day 12)

Yesterday went well and I won't stop my commitments here. I am sure if I keep doing the right things my life will further improve. Lately I am going through a rough patch because being blamed from your wife for being the reason we don't have money to buy clothes or go out isn't a nice feeling. Especially if she is right. I am making some steps to improve this situation right now, but much of my faults are all ready done. The main problem and reason for me not getting a job or an faster intern ship is being unable to step out of my comfort zone for greater benefits and just relying on life to figure out itself. Also if I would have started to apply much earlier for things I bet this all wouldn't be a problem. This is kind of ironic because I made this mistakes while I was doing a lot of other things right(stop gaming, connecting with family, studying). But that's how it goes sometimes. I focus on things I can change. Right now I do a lot for increasing my discipline and reducing procrastination. Right after this(maybe even right now in parallel) I will work on stepping out of my comfort zone socially. I have to think of a plan there but I will start with talking to strangers in the train.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6.7.2016 (NF Day 13)

Hey fellow gamequitters.

NoFap gets easier and easier. Close to no urges lately. Actually don't know if that is a good thing, because I don't want to end asexually. But well I think 3 days ago The urges where pretty strong so my first guess is that these things come in waves. I did work in the morning yesterday and didn't do my 20min of programming in the morning. I think the main reason was that I didn't see the value in spending so little time on it. Tomorrow I will have the same schedule again and will do it just to see if my assumption is right(feels more like an excuse if I write about it). In the evening I was pretty productive even if I evaded programming successfully with further reading into "7 habits...". As always I realize how going to work for 8hours helps me to be more content with my day. So far Joyful July is a good month ;)

Thoughts about "7 habits"

The second habit is to have the end in mind. How do you want to be remembered. As I thought about that at first only social values came to my mind. I want to be remembered as reliable, loving and caring person. Financial success or fame aren't high on the priority list, even if they would be great. Another thing I realized that I want to be interesting.

I lived my live in a kind of boring way, I finished school, studied and found an awesome girl to marry. Now I want to get a job, get kids and maybe build a house someday. These things are boring or at least sound boring. And I have the desire of people looking at me and having more to see as this boring standard guy. As I was younger I would climb on construction sides at night when I was drunk and sit on the roofs. Such stupid things jsut to escape the norm for a while. In my childhood as I came to school or even in kindergarden I was a strange kid in a way. Always dreaming awake and never in the moment. Got some bullying out of it and decided in school to become a normal kid and talk back to these people in a way they sound dumb(most of my bullies where actually not that smart and left school over my school career). So finally my friends where the "popular" ones around. But I got used to mediocrity. I never risked anything. I didn't even risked to be awesome. Content closely over the average seems to be my motto. As I was 20 and didn't had a girlfriend I tried to change this fact, because I thought this was the one thing missing to be happy. I read in PuA-Forums and worked on being more open to woman and seeing the possibility that woman could find me attractive. I actually made a little progress and in this time I met my wife at a party. She approached me more as I did approach here and a mutual friend pushed us as "both single" together. Alcohol and social sourrounding did the rest. I am glad that this happened because I met this wonderful person back then who is now my wife. But I never got to the point, I was fully comfortable with my self. Being in a relationship helped there but it was a struggle. At university things went back to boring. I did what I had to do for my studies(or as much as i thought would be enough) played games the rest of the time and saw my gf in the rest of my time. To play game that much and be pretty good at it, was my secret which I experienced as excitement before I had to taste all the bad consequences. The next interesting thing  happend to me outside my marriage is quitting games and being a part of this community. But if I go out and see opportunities to climb on a abandoned industrial area I feel excited. I didn't do it because all these doubts are in my mind: What if someone comes by? What if there is a camera and i get legal consequences out of it? Isn't that stupid? But the Idea of doing something stupid is persistent because it is exciting.

Guess I miss excitement in my life. Maybe I should work on letting some risk into my life. IN a reasonable way. I don't want to go into real physical risk like hardcore bouldering, because I don't want to risk my life. One goal of mine is to get 100years old :)  But I could risk more socially and professionally. Stop playing it safe at some times and I am sure that I would be happier. Mhh that was along rant but it felt good to formulate all these ideas.

If anyone of you guys read so far thank you for reading, have a nice day and see you tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was cool to hear about your story, it was interesting! xD Being interesting is quite subjective in my opinion. For example I have a friend who is not very social and usually meets new occasions reservedly. I know that there are people that don't find him interesting, but I think he is very interesting. He is very intelligent, conscientious and is great to organize projects with. If I start doing something with him I'm sure that we'll work and achieve things very well. With some people my opinion goes the other way round.

Since you live in Germany there could be some freelancer work with companies like Foodora or Wolt. I've worked for Foodora for a month now and really enjoy it. The pay is decent, I have time to do other things and get to make people happy by bringing food to them.

I think I'm also going to give the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People a shot after I finish the book I'm currently reading.

Keep it up man!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...