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WorkInProgress
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28.5.2016

As I continued reading "The one thing" I realised that I am missing a long time goal for my work. I am unsure what to do after I finished my studies. It is possible that I soon can choose between an intern ship in the industry or a research facility. And this is exact the same choice I will have after I wrote my masters thesis and will be looking for a job. In the past I was always tending to the industry because they pay a little better and offer more safety. But the main reason was  that I always thought, that I am not smart enough too get a Phd. Lately I realised that I am intelligent enough, the thing I am actually lacking are good study practices. Now as it seems possible I am torn. Scientific work has some serious problems in Germany. You have to think a lot about funding and have a lot of pressure to write and publish  a lot of scientific papers. On the other hand are you able to try out things and improve things and processes which could benefit thousand of people in the long run, which is absolutely awesome. I think I have to get some more infos. The husband of my sister is making his Phd. So I guess I will ask him some more detailed questions(he isn't so glad with his job at the university). Also I will try to talk with the people at the intern ship when it finally starts, to gather more information. But I guess I want an expert career in the industry anyway if I start there, so the best course in any case action is to study the theory of my subject better. I will figure out what is most important to know today and just start a daily routine to learn these things properly in the second run.

I have the feeling that knowing Linux will only help me if I get into a start up or small engineering firm( it is a free OS that's why many new firms use it). I am kind of sure that it isn't so important for my professional career to learn but ,it will help me in my general understanding of computers and it is fun for me.  That's why I will continue anyway but it shouldn't be priority. I try to will make a daily study plan until Monday (30.5.) and visit the library for some helpful books.

It is awesome how helpful it can be, to write things down to clarify your thoughts to a specific subject. I still have a lot of insecurity but at least I know now a few things I can focus now and how to prioritise. Let's see how challenging it will be to study without having a deadline or specific goal .

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@Cam Adair

You recommended it ;). Thanks for that. I like it really much!

29.5.2016

Last day was very relaxed holiday day. I feel like I use this time together with my wife in a great way to relax.I had at 1pm after lunch a cocktail in the sun and read in my book for an hour. It made me feel like a hollywood star in my own little casa. My bodyweight training went awesome yesterday too. I am good at relaxing without getting sluggish and I like it. But I kind of looking forward too a scheduled week.

I am not motivated to go for a run today but will do it anyway. Lately I feel like my two training goals are a little contradicting. I want to run faster and longer runs and read everywhere that the key to this is a lot of miles per week. But this is a little too much if I work on my legs on the days I don't run in my full body routine. I guess I take running more for recovery days and settle with slowly improving and focus on my bw-training. 6months before my half marathon I will do bw-training only 2 days a week and use the rest of the 5 days for improved running training. I will have to run more if I want to run a half marathon in 1:30. I'll continue this way until 1.8. and then I will change my training plan or/and change my running goal.

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30.5.2016

I have a fairly busy day and my time to write here will be limited to the next 5min that' why I keep it short today.

I had a productive morning because I went straight into training. And started afterwards working immediately. after that I decided to focuse the next two weeks on my Stochastics study ans blocked 4hour blocks every workday in my calendar. I started learning with  the help of a skript and wikipedia and so far it is very very mathematical what makes it difficult because I have to learn a lot of basics to understand the mathematical formulations. But so far I progress steadily and slowly. I guess if I get to the stochastixs part it gets more intersting.

I made a not planned 1hour  break to check gamequitters and finish "The one thing"in the morning which was a bad idea. Should have first finished my workblock. But was still a very productive morning. I

I try to substitute coffee with tea and it works fine( I all ready reduced it in the past on two cups a day but I am trying to go two weeks without coffee as an experiment). The third coffee free day is so far a success.

Now I eat something and then I go work a 6hour shift and go to bed. Tomorrow I will have to plan more play time because it is a little extreme change for me. I guess less play is one reason I was somehow distracted at studying(nothing serious though). At my ride to work I will start the book " 7 habits of highly successful people".

Ok have to hurry now to grab something to eat.

 

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@Cam Adair I do it for myself, so their is really nothing to thank me for. Congratulations on your birthday btw.

31.5.2016

I had a long run this morning(around 8km) but failed to start right afterwards with my stochastic studies. I told myself I need to relax and listened 30min to a podcast. Now I am relaxed but not motivated xD. That's why I decided to write my daily journal entry now to postpone stuff in a semi useful way. I guess it is a work in progress with this focussed studying but I am sure it will improve day for day if I keep going for it. And in addition to this I am only 35min behind my schedule. Maybe I get my things done anyway. After checking gamequitters I will just sit down my 4hours and study. Breaks are still aloud at this if I don't entertain me(works wonders to limit my break time to a reasonable limit).

At work it was really hard to resist drinking coffee. A big role played group pressure(we all sat down at coffee time and talked and I drank water xD). Also I didn't realize how I used the excuse to make a coffee as break time before. Another factor was the timing of my shift. I am sure I useed up a good amount of my willpower on studying in the morning. But I stayed strong and substituted coffee with sugary bonbons :D Well industrial sugar will be the next thing I stop consuming for a time to downsize my sugar intake to a healthier level. But their is no hurry. One thing after another.

All in all I am pretty happy right now and feel like I focus on the right things for the moment.

At my run I realized as I had to slow down myself again( I am notoriously too fast at running) I realized how a slow pace can make everything enjoyable. Be it at sports or at life. In the end you finish just things you enjoy. So I found another reason for slow and steady pace in improvement and I really feel like this is the way of doing things, which brings you the farthest.

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2.6.2016

Remember how I said at my last entry that I will go back to work? We'll that didn't work out. I dived instead into gaming replays and figuring out how to play warcraft on linux, installing it and playing for around 3 hours. Well technically I didn't commit to not gaming after my detox but it is awesome being able to say that I don't play games any more. It feels so grown up. But I ask myself if I use this as an excuse not to develop myself further. Well however it is it didn't feel good to spent so much time on games again. There was a lot of shame involved. Strangely this time it was another trigger then in the past. Usually I wanted to game because I am stressed. I am not especially stressed lately. I have some downtime and was proactive in studying before it gets urgent. But without this urgency my mind thinks gaming is the alternative. Wtf?

Well I think the other thing is that I haven't found a thing which I do just for fun besides gaming. There always had to be a hidden benefit from my activities. Juggling(train your brain and body), playing piano(training concentration) and sports(training your body). The list goes on. Sometimes I don't feel like I do these things just because I like them, but because I want to harvest the benefits. I need  to find something where I just have fun, what I can do regular and which doesn't extend to lengths, where it is in conflict with my goals. I haven't ruled out warcraft for that purpose, but it depends on how I let it influence my life from now on. Also I will have to try different activities for this purpose.

I won't talk any more about gaming here to avoid triggering someone, but I wanted to be honest with myself and this community.

Still going strong in the coffein detox part but I did some sugar overloading the last two days. That's why I will add no sweets to the challenge. it made me feel pretty dumb to eat literally 10(!) Nutella toasts in 3hours. Also I feel a little sick. I am not sure if it are the allergies or if I have a cold, but I skipped my running for yoga and it felt great. Maybe I will skip running for yoga the next few days. It would complement my bodyweight training better also. But I don't know if I am willing to let my ambitious half-marathon goal(finish under 1:30) go, or if I will be able to make the goal if I start improved running training  in a few months. I decide this in the next week(until (9.6.).

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Thanks for being honest. Check out Play by Stuart Brown. HE might have a TED talk too. Helped me a lot to learn to just have fun with no other agenda.

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Thanks for the tips. You really read a lot of books haven't you? ;) I watched the TED-Talk and the idea that playing without purpose has his own benefits is actual news for me. It made me also think about how new computer games rob you of the possibility to play around. If you play on the internet everything is very competitive. And if you are in such a competitive environment you either loose all the time or try really hard to win and to better your mechanics, what leads to you winning more games but loosing the fun of playing.

I remember being a kid and imagine nonsense stories in my head or just being outside imagining to be someone else and it remembers me of freedom. I never realised how much I missed these emotions the last years and just thinking about it makes me tear up a bit, because I feel like I lost a part of my identity on the way into adulthood. I will try to implement this in my daily life and I definitely will read his book. I am sure I can recover this side of me.

Thanks a lot again. I really appreciate your support.

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Congrats on your new title Mario! You've earned it from you large and consistent contribution to the community. :) I certainly don't know what comes after unstoppable! :D

Ohhhhhhh the first Unstoppable as been found! Credit to Travis for coming up with it. 

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Congrats on your new title Mario! You've earned it from you large and consistent contribution to the community. :) I certainly don't know what comes after unstoppable! :D

Ohhhhhhh the first Unstoppable as been found! Credit to Travis for coming up with it. 

Yes that conversation was on my journal! Was the 'Veteran' rank changed to 100, and are you still looking for more ranks?

Edited by AlexTheGrape
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@WorkInProgress thank you for sharing your experience with relapse. I hope you're in a better position now and have learned something about yourself from this.

Personally I've been able to channel my competitiveness in more helpful areas such as my studies, so if you can find your niche where you can excel, you'll be able to do much better in the long run.

Keep us posted on whats going on aye? :D

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Congrats on your new title Mario! You've earned it from you large and consistent contribution to the community. :) I certainly don't know what comes after unstoppable! :D

Ohhhhhhh the first Unstoppable as been found! Credit to Travis for coming up with it. 

Yes that conversation was on my journal! Was the 'Veteran' rank changed to 100, and are you still looking for more ranks?

It was changed yes, I can't remember what the amount was. If I was to guess, it was 100. I think Member was changed to 30 or so. Something like that.

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6.6.2015

Hey I'm back and unstoppable :D Nice

I was on a spontaneous weekend trip for Friday until Sunday. My wife and I visited a school friend in Leipzig. This is really a great city. Could totally imagine living there if it weren't so far away from my family. Before I gone on my little vacation I deleted wc3 again because it just didn't work to play in moderation. It was just exactly the same like 3 months ago. I guess I could try to make it work gradually but I don't think it would be a good time investment. It feels better to decide consciously against gaming then being forced away from it. And I am able to choose not to game, which is a big improvement since the time before my detox. Well now I am back and my wife is at home too because she is sick. I'll try still to do sports,study and clean a bit. But maybe a little less from everything so I can spend some time with her.

@AlexTheGrape thx for reading! I definitely keep sharing and learned something out of this: I can but I don't have to game.

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Welcome back :)

Yes you're right, playing video games is a valid option, but one that is likely not the best one for us in the long term, and will very likely impede most personal growth. Perhaps decide what it is that you want to achieve now without gaming: do you want to get fitter? Perhaps would you like to learn/improve a particular skill? Setting a daily goal for this and then keeping yourself accountable through GQ might put you in good stead for future success :D

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7.6.2016 (Daily Actions Streak: 1)

@AlexTheGrape Thank for the thought food you providing. I actually are getting fitter all ready. Actually I am pretty fine with my health goals. I workout in some way 6 days a week and I reduced my coffein intake by a lot. These days I drink around 3 cups of green tea a day instead of 5 cups of coffee ;) I cook almost every day and soon I will attack my sugar intake. The real problems I have are more on a professional level and I find it kind of hard to find an good goal which I can follow everyday.

I tried to study 4 hours everyday but failed miserably. Mhh... as I think about it I think I just need to take smaller steps. I want to be a functional hard working student who is content with his days work at every evening. But I think I can't go there in a Week I have to ease into it. I try it this way. I will write what I want to be in different areas of my life and think in every area of a daily action(a very little action that I actually do it) to improve towards my goals.

 

Warning: the following content is for thought organisation. Feel free, but not obligated to read it. I will write down daily tasks in different areas and will summarize them in future posts with the term daily actions

University

I  write A's in my remaining exams, I am organized and in control of my studies, (Extra: I want to be getting better at programming and fluid simulation)

Money:

I want to be able to benefit at least 400 Euro's to our shared income(my wife makes all our money right now because I haven't found an intern ship or irregular side job so far)

House Keeping:

I have a nice apartment where everything is clean and organized(everything has it proper place so that at least the surfaces of the tables are free all the time).

Health:

My neurodermitis at my hands is under control and I am fit and rested most of the mornings. I build some muscles so that my t-shirt size goes from s/m -> m/l and are strong and flexible. I am able to do a free hand stand  and do a not supported L-sit.

Social Life.:

I see or talk with my family at a regular basis and find every week some time to see my friends.

Marriage:

We are having a good mixture between relaxation and support and excitement in our relationship. I

Balance and Self awareness

I know what I do and why I do it and are liking my choices and my life. I am sure that I improve my life everyday at least a bit and are proactive. I am stable and resilient against misfortune and unexpected catastrophes( maybe even antifragile).

 

Ok that are a lot of areas and kind of intimidating. So I try to go fast to the part where I do things.

 

Daily(/slight edge) actions

University:

Study at least 60min every day(yes also at Sunday's and at days where I work!). Complete one organisational task for University every week(~20min).

Money:

Write one application every day or do an organisational task to improve my chances of getting a flexible job / intern ship.(~30min)

Housekeeping:

Organize one part of the apartment for at least 20min everyday. Clean for at least 60min every day(without daily tasks like dishes, laundry or grocery shopping).

Health:

Do every day a workout or a stretching/yoga session(~60min shower incuded). Use the salve against my neurodermitis every day.

Social life:

Talk or write with friends and family every day (~20min).

Marriage:

Say something nice or appreciative to my wife every day. Do some thing new every day(~20min).

Balance and Self awareness:

Reflect on my day everytime in my journal and try to understand myself better every day(~10min)

Do at least 60min things who don't have any purpose but being fun

hours awake: 16 hours

hours working: 0

Sum of daily actions: 6 hours

 

This seems doable for now and I still have some puffer(11hours) left for working time and more flexible things like meet ups with friends or extra study time.

First goal is a 2week-streak of these daily habits.

 

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8.6.2016 (d.a.-Streak: 2)

Yesterday went ok and I did every daily habit which is a success. It is kind of hard for me right now to be appreciative, because I am in a bad mood and feel tired. Last evening I got fool mooded and sat their annoyed over little things. No idea where this came from. Sometimes I feel like my wife disdains me because she has to work to support me. I know it isn't true even if she wishes that I work a little bit to support us too. Also I feel a little ill. This morning we had an argument over nothing, because we both aren't feeling well. After that glorious start in the day  I feel like doing nothing today. Just lying on the couch reading and sleeping. But the I decided to write my journal entry and saw that I was on the way to break my daily success streak on the  this second day. No way that I let this happen. I will go plan my day now.

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9.6.2016(DailyActionStreak 1)

Well I have to start again with my daily action streak. Yesterday was a low energy day and I just couldn't get myself to do too much. I felt sick, had some headaches and cold symptoms. Spent most of my day on the couch reading or sleeping. If I am honest I surely could have studied for an hour and did some other things, that's why I start new. But I will go easy on the workout site until I am totally on my feet again. Today I will do 30min of yoga and be ok with it. I am glad that I feel way better today. Let's see what happens. I realized how I sometimes blow things out of proportion. If I am in a bad mood everything is dramatic and hard and annoying. Often times the things are done in 15min and aren't even especially hard( for example to write an application for an internship). The only things which are hard are the psychological  issues in my head. I try to think now every time I postpone something because it is "hard" or "difficult", what would I feel like if this was easy? What would I do? And then start doing it.

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8.6.2016 (d.a.-Streak: 2)

Yesterday went ok and I did every daily habit which is a success. It is kind of hard for me right now to be appreciative, because I am in a bad mood and feel tired. Last evening I got fool mooded and sat their annoyed over little things. 

One trick when this happens is to give yourself 2 minutes to be upset and all of that and then you have to start taking action to shaking yourself out of it. 

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10.6.2016 (d.a.-Streak: 3)

Yesterday I realized that I have forgotten to sign on the one exam I wanted to write this semester. Now it is too late and I have wait another few months. At first I was upset and then relieved. Now I can choose another class which isn't so mathematical and more interesting to me. I did like 3 appointments on side jobs last Monday and I got my first positive answer. Basically I start to help people move in other flats. I can choose when and where I want to work and get some physical activity. Seems like the perfect side job right now. Also it seems to work with my intern ship and I hope that I can start next month.  That means I soon have some money to buy some new clothes!!! ;)

Bureaucracy let's everything take ages. The interesting situation I am in right now is that I don't have any thing to study. I decided to learn CAD and Python programming over these weeks. I substituted studying in my daily plan with these points. It made a big difference that I was fitter yesterday. This evening I have a barbecue with friends and then we watch soccer. I think I will drink no alcohol this evening even if it would have been the protocol. Lately I more often rue it, and I don't enjoy being stupid for one evening as much as in the  past.

Another thing which happened , was that my sister asked me to help her with the music of her wedding. She reached out for me because she is a little overwhelmed by all the organisation and it shows that my efforts to stay more in contact with my family are working. I am glad that I can help my big sister out.

You see right now everything is peachy. Now I will put some nice music(thanks cam and I am still waiting on the next mobus session xD) and lift that body.

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The next motus session is coming maybe this week! 

Nice!

11.6.2016

Yesterday was fine- We had a lot of fun barbecuing and playing games. I drank only one beer because of the taste and it was nice to have a fully working brain and body for a change at such occasions. I didn't invested my hour on python programming but did everything else yesterday. I feel like cleaning/organize something new everyday let me really attack corners of my apartment I would have evaded for ages otherwise. I will keep my success streak if I only miss out on one task and will allow myself one cheat day per week. I don't want to force me into this but ease into productivity. And I get the feeling if I do everything on my list everyday I will get overwhelmed fast. But the goal is definitely to do them every day, So far so good.

See you tomorrow.

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