Remigjus

Welcome back Ed! It's always nice to see some old faces to pop up in the forum haha ? P.S That's a rad picture right there! Did you take it yourself?

Welcome to the forum friend! You've came to the right place ?

The reboot process is different for everyone and it depends on how well the person keeps himself from things that remind him of gaming. For me personally, it took about 60 days 'till I stopped having cravings and gaming basically disappeared from my daily thought process. The 90 days isn't some magical number, I think it's the average of when the brain usually starts rewiring itself. But once again, it's different for everyone. Whether you'll lose attraction to video games forever or not, it solely depends on you ?

I used to have this issue to lol. Even to this day I still sometimes find myself eating near digital devices. As Cam stated above, just be present with yourself, enjoy the taste of the meal. For me eating is the part of the day where I get lots of ideas haha ?

Haha I might finally do it this time

CLICK HERE

It's DAY 730 so you know what it means TWO FUCKING YEARS (without video games) Another year has passed since I‘ve decided to put and end to my one decade lasting gaming addiction. These past two years have granted the opportunity for my mind to think freely which I‘m really grateful for, although this opened a gateway for a ton of existensialism related questions that I have trouble finding answers to. I have a fair share of problems, well maybe not problems but really hard decisions that require urgent solving that have been tearing me apart for the past 4 months or so. My life is at a crossroad right now. But I think everything will solve itself like it always does. If not...God help :D There have been a few moments throughout this whole year when I was considering going back to gaming, but these thoughts were quickly thrown out the window, since it‘s very important for me to „live my life“ and sustain a clear mind at the momment. I think it‘s a great achievement of me, being game free for two years, but for some reason it doesn‘t feel like it ( stupid Rem). I am still thinking of a way how I should reward myself...Man, whenever I take a look at modern day games like Fortnite or PUBG, I realise that my situation woulda been way worse if I decided to postpone the 90day detox. I want to thank Cam and this whole community in general for being probably the most supportive group of people that I‘ve known on the internet. Without this place I‘d still probably be smashing the keyboard 'till the frieking keys fall out.

Man, I have a fucking burning sensation in my chest. It feels like I am literally being eaten out from the inside. This is the feeling of uncertainty. My life is a crossroad right now, I wish I could say that I am wandering, but I’m not. I have no clue what to do with my life at the moment. I think I’ve hit the period of identity crisis. WOW, how many times am I going to use the word “I” in this entry. Things ain’t going well for me, I mean, they are not going at all. It’s my fault and I am just venting out. You see I am like one month away from graduating high school and I still ain’t got no fucking clue what I’m gonna do with my time on this planet. You see, the main reason why I have quitted gaming because I wanted to be a rapper. I was in love with the HipHop culture and it basically became a part of who I am. But my low amount of dedication and will power combined with the never procrastination cycle made a deadly poison which started slowly but surely to kill me over time. And I think today was the day when it did its job. I am mentally tired of the music that gave a spark to my life. Because I’ve always had high expectations for myself. I no longer seem too like it. Mainly because I was slacking 80% of the time when it came down to making music, that I got so tired of myself being lazy that my passion is gone. It’s all my fault, that I’ve never stepped out of my comfort zone and told everyone who I want to be, that I’ve chose to hide my music from my family members and friends. It’s my fault that I’ve never made moves. HipHop was the foundation of a better life and a new me, but now since it’s gone everything is collapsing. God, I remember I promised myself that I’d stop listening to music in general if I decided to quit my dream. Besides the music stuff, I have no clue what to study or what to do whatsoever. One of my friends chose the option to join the army for 9months and he keeps offering me to come with him, and I gotta say that’s a tempting offer since I’d get some cash and get my name of the military draft list, but I’m no patriot nor I give a crap about the 3k euros that I’d get. Plus I feel like a part of me still wants to do music. I hate myself for not doing anything. Things ain’t going well in my family too (shit hit the fan when I turned 16 or something). There’s 6 people that live in my house and everyone hates each other. This house if full of screams and shouts and anger/hatred that I can’t take it anymore. I basically chose to block myself out from everyone. I wish I had a place of my own. The type of shit that I’ve seen in my family is way to fucking much. I get tired of people sometimes and their problems, because that’s all what I hear most of the time. I feel like I am dying inside, according to Cam sometimes growth feels as if you were dying , I hope this is the case. I’m desperate for a somekind of change in my life. I’m so jealous for the kids that can get back home to a quiet peaceful home. Where everyone loves each other. Man, it feels like for the past two years I’ve been walking on egg shells. I don’t think that I can get my ass into a university or college since basically I’ve stopped studying because of rapping,but now since this idea is fading away…. I am so afraid of what lies ahead of me. I’ve got less than a month for the exams. This uncertainty is creating this awful feeling. Geez I hope that someday I’ll be re-reading this entry again and just have a simple laugh at it, with the fact in mind that things weren’t so bad after all.

@Cam Adair what encouraged you to quit coffee?

Wooot Cam started a Journal Didn't see that coming It's about time you stopped drinking that coffee

Commitment is what I insanely lack. Like what the fuck. How sick in the head I must be not to take action knowing that this dormant state will cause lots of trouble for me. This lack of determination is killing me. I used to think that my situation is very unique, no one feels and is in the same situation as I am. Boyy I was wrong. It turns out that the the simple ingredient that I'm missing is just as you've said leaving all the bullshit behind and finally committing to move forward. It's taking the first step or something like that. But for some reason I can't, it's like I don't care or something. I feel dead, like I've lost the desire to push forward. I don't even know. It's a loop that I can't seem to get out of..

Man, I think I'm in the same boat as you are ( or somewhat simillar). The past 5 months were kinda shit for me. Lots of procrastination, relapsed a bunch of times on NoFap, social media still bugs me. Depressive thoughts pop up from time to time. What's worse, that I've lost the burning desire to accomplish my music dream. I feel kinda empty from the inside. Time runs so fast... Yesterday went by so quick that it seems like it was just today... Like I'm just pointlessly existing on this earth. I feel so fucking stuck. Like a month ago I've started to binge watch this speed run channel. After a while, I found myself watching streams. I don't feel any cravings to game again so no worries. I don't even know why I kept watching these streams/gaming videos. So many areas in my life need improvement but I didn't even make any new changes. IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO FUCKING YEARS and I've barely accomplished anything. I'm surely one of a kind. I know that this lack of control will fuck me up in the long run, but I still ain't doing anything lmao. Anyway, sorry for posting this here Hitaru, your story just felt somewhat relatable to me

Hey @Plokmn!! Glad to see that you've set up your journal, it will surely help a lot in the future ( just make sure to write here daily). I want to congratulate you that you've decided to open a new chapter in your life. A new begining, a start of an adventure. You seem to have a plan, wich might be handy in the future ( but you have to stick to it). The only advice I can give you is to take one day at a time!! That's the golden rule Have it always in mind.

I know how you're feeling right now ( I'm talking about the driving test). I've got my drivers licence like three weeks ago so I still know how it feels to fail the test and wait more than a month to take it again. It's a pain in the ass, especially when you do some stupid shit. Like wtf. I failed to fully stop near a stop line once... I was so pissed than I wanted to stop the car and just leave it lol. The best part is that it wasn't even a real test, it was a mock test... ( In Lithuania you have to pass the mock test in order to take the real one). It took me 4 attempts to pass the mock test and 2 for the real one. God, those were the days... Even worse, I've got into a car accident while learning how to drive with my parents like two weeks before my actual driving test... My confidence dropped significantly... I had to learn how to be confident behind the wheel again. But somehow I did it. So you can do it too. All you need is practice.

Sounds like a plan! I should probably do something like that in my journal.