Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

Maintenance of the PhoenixKing


Phoenixking
 Share

Recommended Posts

Detox day 16. " Headaches."
 
I've been noticing my headaches more often nowadays. I'm not sure what's causing them, though. I wake up with a slight headache every day. What could it be? Dehydration is known to cause it, or withdrawal. I could be from not drinking enough, but I drink a fair amount on average. Not enough yet to properly call myself perfectly hydrated, but still. It's not alcohol, like a hangover because I don't always drink. It could be coffee? But it doesn't always go away when I have my morning cuppa. Maybe it's stress, too much info or screens or actual withdrawal from games, porn and the likes. Heck, I could have a brain tumor for all I know... It's been going on for a while now, but it's the first time I'm actually starting to get a smidge worried about it. Maybe I should have it checked out? It'd be a great excuse to visit the doctor who helped me with my bore-out a while back and thank her properly.
 

Recent highlight: Being treated like a friend by the MC of the comedy gig instead of just another newbie. When I started out as a comedian, people kind of shun you a little. But now I feel more established.

Budget status: My SO forgot to put her share in the joint account. Figures. She can be such a disorganized person... Very happy with my personal finances right now. Even without the unemployment money, I'd still have made a killer month. 

My one goal for the next 24h: Try to clean the place up. I'd like it to be actually clean and clear of clutter.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Did it earlier.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Started drinking an hour ago.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll either attend a party or go to a comedy club tonight. Probably the latter. So I'll shower and do it before I go then.

-No daydrinking at home alone - All clear for now.

-Meditation - Thinking of going to the park. Especially because of the headaches. But I still have to wait a bit because of the weather. Maybe later today.

-Exercise once this week - My step counter is showing me that I've been pretty active. Which is why my knees would be hurting like that XD Still not sure what to do about physical exercise, though... A personal routine to do at home, maybe?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Phoenixking said:
Detox day 16. " Headaches."
 
I've been noticing my headaches more often nowadays. I'm not sure what's causing them, though. I wake up with a slight headache every day. What could it be? Dehydration is known to cause it, or withdrawal. I could be from not drinking enough, but I drink a fair amount on average. Not enough yet to properly call myself perfectly hydrated, but still. It's not alcohol, like a hangover because I don't always drink. It could be coffee? But it doesn't always go away when I have my morning cuppa. Maybe it's stress, too much info or screens or actual withdrawal from games, porn and the likes. Heck, I could have a brain tumor for all I know... It's been going on for a while now, but it's the first time I'm actually starting to get a smidge worried about it. Maybe I should have it checked out? It'd be a great excuse to visit the doctor who helped me with my bore-out a while back and thank her properly.
 

Recent highlight: Being treated like a friend by the MC of the comedy gig instead of just another newbie. When I started out as a comedian, people kind of shun you a little. But now I feel more established.

Budget status: My SO forgot to put her share in the joint account. Figures. She can be such a disorganized person... Very happy with my personal finances right now. Even without the unemployment money, I'd still have made a killer month. 

My one goal for the next 24h: Try to clean the place up. I'd like it to be actually clean and clear of clutter.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Did it earlier.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Started drinking an hour ago.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll either attend a party or go to a comedy club tonight. Probably the latter. So I'll shower and do it before I go then.

-No daydrinking at home alone - All clear for now.

-Meditation - Thinking of going to the park. Especially because of the headaches. But I still have to wait a bit because of the weather. Maybe later today.

-Exercise once this week - My step counter is showing me that I've been pretty active. Which is why my knees would be hurting like that XD Still not sure what to do about physical exercise, though... A personal routine to do at home, maybe?

Do you wear glasses? Is your vision affected by it? Can you see a doctor? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Do you wear glasses? Is your vision affected by it? Can you see a doctor? 

Yes, I do. I have several pairs, only one of which is treated with an anti-blue light filter, but my PC and phone have those filters built-in to activate when the sun goes down. I do notice the headaches go up whenever I spend too much time looking at screens, though...

My vision is pretty affected by the fact that I use glasses yes, hahaha XD I assume you mean if the pain affects my vision? I only had that a few weeks ago, it was a while back. I've once ever had that, it was a migraine attack that oddly took away about a semicircle of my vision, right in the middle. It freaked me out and I thought I was going blind, haha. So I figured I had migraine shit going on that one time a few weeks back. But nothing since, to be honest.

Yeah, I could. I feel like they'll just chalk it up to stress. But its' probably healthy to have it checked out. I'll get an appointment this week, probably. It's not like this is killing me. But thanks for the hint.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

42 minutes ago, Phoenixking said:

Yes, I do. I have several pairs, only one of which is treated with an anti-blue light filter, but my PC and phone have those filters built-in to activate when the sun goes down. I do notice the headaches go up whenever I spend too much time looking at screens, though...

My vision is pretty affected by the fact that I use glasses yes, hahaha XD I assume you mean if the pain affects my vision? I only had that a few weeks ago, it was a while back. I've once ever had that, it was a migraine attack that oddly took away about a semicircle of my vision, right in the middle. It freaked me out and I thought I was going blind, haha. So I figured I had migraine shit going on that one time a few weeks back. But nothing since, to be honest.

Yeah, I could. I feel like they'll just chalk it up to stress. But its' probably healthy to have it checked out. I'll get an appointment this week, probably. It's not like this is killing me. But thanks for the hint.

I was thinking the pain from your vision could be causing headaches. Good luck at the appointment. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 17. " The Groper and the gig."
 
I spent the better part of the day at my friend's house, taping another 3 podcast episodes. Lots of fun!
The place needs cleaning and it's been on my list. Among other things, I also need to be on the lookout ASAP for a new car... *sigh*
Both those things have been postponed over the past few days because of my prepping the D&D-session for my paid campaign. So I'll probably clean for a few more hours after this, leaving me tired enough to get a healthy night's sleep. The big intake meeting is tomorrow morning. That'll determine if I'm let into the Starterslab-program. I'm nervous, because it's a big deal. But I'm also rather confident. I'm usually pretty glib and whenever I've gotten to points like a job interview, oral exams or other important things that require talking; my speaking skill have always gotten me through them. So I'm confident I'll be fine. But still a bit nervous...
 
Yesterday evening I had a suprise gig. Not paid, though, but lots of fun. Basically one person sits on a stool, there's a host and that person is single for the sake of the show. 3 comedians enter the scene and throughout about 6 or 7 rounds they all face off to charm the heart of the 'victim'. It's a comedy show and the concept was made for tv, so any response is to be laced with comedy and punchlines. The other two candidates had had a full month to prepare. I was called because they needed a last minute savior. The dude who organizes it, was the MC of my open mic last month and I had expressed a lot of interest in participating but was disappointed to hear all spots had already been filled. I guess that must have rang a bell with that guy so he called me up. The thing is, I was at the park... I was having my quiet and reflective me time. It's a crazy coincidence I even noticed my phone was receiving a call. The other two had had a month and I barely had an hour to prepare because I needed to drive back home, change clothes, shower, ... I didn't even read the questions and themes we had to write jokes for until a full hour later... But I perform well under pressure! I didn't win, but I had so many laughs. 9 out of 10 jokes landed. Crazy! I'm not great when doing stand-up, but I can be funny as fuck when you give me a few parameters to work with and a ticking clock, it seems. I was very happy and very proud to walk away. And I think he's thinking of doing another version but using a dude as the 'victim' and a few female comedians as the funny temptresses. I immediately jumped up and proclaimed I'd be happy to be that person! But we'll see. The schedule is jam packed!
 
Tomorrow I'll be picking up my SO. She's spending her final night in Rome today and flying home tomorrow noon, after when I've had the intake interview. I'll be picking her up from the airport. I never had anybody who could or would do that for me, until she picked me up when I returned from Japan a year ago. So it feels only right to return the favor.
 
Today she messaged me that she was groped on a busy tram ride. I'm pretty sure steam came out of my ears. I was furious, aggressive, angry, ... My SO is pretty meek when it comes to this, not exactly the type that would stand up for herself and fight. Though I do feel like she should have knocked the dude in the nuts. Or slapped him. Or called out to her friends to help her. How dare he do that to her. How is it possible for people like that to exist? What were her friends doing at the time? Or random bystanders? Didn't anybody do anything? Shit like that utterly infuriates me. Whenever I see people pull shenanigans, I call them out on their bullshit. I even can't stand it if people catcall in the streets. To be fair, a part of me would be afraid that they'd kick my ass. But humans aren't made of glass. We can stand a few punches and kicks and walk away like it's nothing. Heck, I've now learned to counter and throw punches myself. I'd welcome the test to see if I'm as fast and strong as I think I am. She's probably more used to being harassed like that, being a woman. I've had some encounters here and there, but I'm a dude so it's waaaay rarer for me. It's gut wrenching to realize that she's probably, sadly, used to shit happening like that at this point and prefers to not engage to avoid any form of conflict altogether. And that idea enrages me even more. I'd love to find that guy and humiliate him with all of it, release any security footage for the world to see and sic the cops on his ass. That's exactly what I feel like people should do if they get dickpics from creepy dudes. You publish them, shame them, figure out their fucking identities and mentally break them in half. You want to put you dick into other peoples' phones and be a creep? Oh, you got it man, it's now on the phone of every colleague, family member, friend and supermarket employee you have to face on a daily basis. Djeezes christ... Sorry for the rant, but unfair shit like that just enrages me beyond all comprehension. Some dudes are pigs. Act like one, and don't be surprised if you end up in a mud bath.
 

Recent highlight: Cooking and eating sweet'n'sour chicken. Yum!

Budget status: All good. Smooth sailing it seems. I should probably cut back a bit on getting takeout delivered. But all good despite it.

My one goal for the next 24h: Spend the rest of the evening cleaning up. At least clean the kitchen counter. The dishes need doing, washing clothes will be a worry for future me. But maybe some vacuuming too? We'll see.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - All good.

-Make the bed - Did it this morning.

-Drink enough water - Drank about 1,5l today at least. It should be 2 if I'm not mistaken. But it's still good!

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Today'll be the first time a while since I've skipped it. Was just a tad too tired this morning and too lazy to bother this afternoon.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had 1 beer. A second would have made me too sleepy to clean. (It's stuff like this that makes me realize I'm by no means an alcohol addict. I'm just not that good at putting a cap on each and every impulse. But then again, who is? We're not Spartans)

-Meditation - The park yesterday was blissful, but it got interrupted quickly. Let's hope it doesn't happen next time. I feel like I missed out on some quiet me time.

-Exercise once this week - Wasn't very active today due to podcasting and my knees have been more sore. Cleaning is pretty active though, I might still get my 10,000 steps

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

I was thinking the pain from your vision could be causing headaches. Good luck at the appointment. 

Makes sense. I should get my eyes, brain, glasses or stress levels checked out. A great excuse to find the doctor that helped me last year and thank her.

Thanks! Let's hope it'll open the door to a whole new chapter! I should get some sparkling wine and put it in the fridge...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 19. " The Waiting Game"
 
Having my SO back is lovely. I sometimes get annoyed by stuff, but in the end, we're a pretty good match. I often catch myself mesmerized by her, thinking about our future together. I hope I'll get to marry her someday.
 
I've been thinking of trying to start working out again. But I haven't really resolved anything. I'm letting Krav Maga slip on to the backburner for now. I'll mind my knees a bit, but now that I've learned that I can create and follow a few habits myself, I see no reason why I couldn't make a solid workout routine for me to do at home on my own yoga mat.
 
It's getting harder to keep away from porn. Just like what was happening last time, I notice I'm starting to slip here and there. I catch myself feeling the urges more, though. It's like I've become more aware of my triggers. But it's really fucking hard to step away from them when they happen. I have a shitload of blockers installed, but there will always be sexy models and stuff like that on Instagram, a medium I use on a daily basis. So it's all up to me to stay away from that and that requires both lots of willpower and a strong belief in being a better person. I don't want to relapse and at least this time around, I'm aware that transgressions like peeking at certain models' pictures is the start of a new descent.
 
The big thing is this week's waiting game. I had my intake interview with Starterslab yesterday. We talked about who I am, financial stuff, the business I'll want to start and maintain. My strengths, weaknesses, plans and strategies, USPS, competitors, ... The whole enchilada. I was able to gleam from his reactions that it went rather well. I should get a response this week. As soon as I'm officially approved by them, I'll start my first coaching sessions. This is so exciting it scares me. Also because I realized that this will most likely change everything. I'd make my hobbies and ambitions my actual daily job. So that means I'll probably find some new things to relax with and will have to be super mindful of my energy levels and needs.
 
Because if you make your passions and the hobbies you use to relax into your job all of a sudden, then what do you do to wind down and escape from that daily mission?
 

Recent highlight: Cooking Sloppy Joes for my SO. I didn't have enough ketchup or proper chili powder or brown sugar. It wasn't up to my standards. But very tasty though. I made it work!

Budget status: SO will drop another 200 on the joint account, she didn't have time to change her automatic deposits when she was in Rome. This month we should (hopefully) get our joint monthly budget juuuuuust right.

My one goal for the next 24h: Didn't clean anything yesterday. I have other stuff to do, though, but I'd like to get started with the cleaning first and then work my way down the list...

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Just finished it 10 minutes ago.

-Make the bed - Automatic habit.

-Drink enough water - Haven't started drinking yet, but my bottle is next to me. I just had breakfast so not that thirst yet.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I assume I'll be going outside at some point today, so I'll shower and weigh myself and do this then.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Almost had a beer yesterday with the Sloppy Joes, but my SO stopped me and I let her.

-Meditation - I might get some quiet time in before Friday. The weekend will be hectic.

-Exercise once this week - I'm still a bit on the fence about Krav Maga. Maybe I should wait and see what my weekly schedule and rhythm will be after I started the business to see what I can muster. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

Having my SO back is lovely. I sometimes get annoyed by stuff, but in the end, we're a pretty good match. I often catch myself mesmerized by her, thinking about our future together. I hope I'll get to marry her someday.

It's a bit of a random thought intended just for myself, but I think when people enter the relationship, they are a good match at that given moment. I guess the main idea afterwards is to keep on working on whatever that made you a good match in the first place AND to continue giving the relationship what you gave in the beginning, but even more over time. I think that's how successful romantic relationships work anyway.

5 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

It's getting harder to keep away from porn. Just like what was happening last time, I notice I'm starting to slip here and there. I catch myself feeling the urges more, though. It's like I've become more aware of my triggers. But it's really fucking hard to step away from them when they happen. I have a shitload of blockers installed, but there will always be sexy models and stuff like that on Instagram, a medium I use on a daily basis. So it's all up to me to stay away from that and that requires both lots of willpower and a strong belief in being a better person. I don't want to relapse and at least this time around, I'm aware that transgressions like peeking at certain models' pictures is the start of a new descent.

You mentioned that your SO was disappointed whenever she saw you gaming/drinking. How does she deal with your porn usage? Take it the way that every bit of attention you give to those hot girls on IG, it's a bit of attention your SO doesn't get from you.

I just thought up a few silly ideas, but maybe they get you thinking and come up with something applicable. Every time you get the urge to watch porn (or relapse and masturbate?), let your SO know. You can also try something crazy like having sex with her every day for a week; I imagine that'd leave me completely satiated and perhaps unable to move. It could be that you need to over-indulge with her physically, so you can calibrate your sexuality better. I think it's worth giving a thought.

5 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

Because if you make your passions and the hobbies you use to relax into your job all of a sudden, then what do you do to wind down and escape from that daily mission?

I guess that's human nature. When you are living the "Dream", you know there is the "Dream Mk. II" somewhere out there. Good luck!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Ikar said:

It's a bit of a random thought intended just for myself, but I think when people enter the relationship, they are a good match at that given moment. I guess the main idea afterwards is to keep on working on whatever that made you a good match in the first place AND to continue giving the relationship what you gave in the beginning, but even more over time. I think that's how successful romantic relationships work anyway.

I guess it's going to be a life long work of love to keep things good and healthy between her and me. But that's kind of what long term relationships should be. You need to be given space to lead your own life. I'd be heartbroken, but I'm well aware I could lose her to just about anything or anyone at whatever point in the future. It's not because we're on cloud nine today, that we'll still be a great match in 15 years. She could fall in love with somebody else, or I could. We could get sick and one of us could die. We could break up over kids. We could break up over building a house and all of the stress that it brings along with it. Or we could be a thing for another 50 years. No idea. Just keep working on it every day.

 

17 hours ago, Ikar said:

You mentioned that your SO was disappointed whenever she saw you gaming/drinking. How does she deal with your porn usage? Take it the way that every bit of attention you give to those hot girls on IG, it's a bit of attention your SO doesn't get from you.

I just thought up a few silly ideas, but maybe they get you thinking and come up with something applicable. Every time you get the urge to watch porn (or relapse and masturbate?), let your SO know. You can also try something crazy like having sex with her every day for a week; I imagine that'd leave me completely satiated and perhaps unable to move. It could be that you need to over-indulge with her physically, so you can calibrate your sexuality better. I think it's worth giving a thought.

She's a bit more neutral towards it. Partly because she consumes it herself from time to time and also because she knows I'm rather demanding of myself. She sees me surgically cutting away what I deem bad habits and keeps wondering where I'll stop, when I'll finally be satisfied with who I am. That being sad, I don't think she'd like catching me in the act. I mean, who would? But she not exactly 'disturbed' by the idea that I'd watch porn. Honestly, I'm the one in the relationship that doesn't agree with porn existing and being consumed. And I see what you're trying to say about our sex life. But sadly, it's taken a hit. Her depression hasn't exactly boosted things in the sack, and her pills don't improve things either. It's a bit more of a quiet period. I'm sure it's temporary, though. Usually, her libido is higher than mine. Anyway, great idea, but I'm afraid it's not applicable. I do feel a bit dirty whenever I look for things on IG. It's what made me relapse last time, or at least what started the beginning of the end. So I'm really trying to be aware of the whats and the hows and the whens.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 20. " Neck."
 
Yesterday, I had a moment where I realized that I've been fucking up my schedule again. I tend to jam everything I can in a day. But seeing a schedule so crowded and full, leads me to procrastinate. So I cleaned it up a bit. Feels waaaay better...

Haven't had the message from Starterslab yet. Would be crazy of course. But still. I'm really getting my hopes up. I don't usually allow that, though. But I can't help it, my childlike enthusiasm is getting the upper hand.
 
Saw the doctor today. She's convinced my headaches aren't neurological. She advised me to keep some sort of a pain diary. When does it hurt, for how long, ... She thinks it's the muscles in my neck. They can cramp up and give headaches if your posture (like hunching down with your phone in your lap, or putting a pc on your lap on the couch) isn't up to par. She even went a bit further and started pushing down a bit on my shoulders and neck muscles and a jolt of pain released! I thought she'd be stumped, but she fucking figured it out, it seems! She advised me to get a massage, maybe physical therapy if at all necessary and apply some heat. Hot showers, hot packs, herbal spray that warms up and cools down, stuff like that. If it doesn't improve anything, I'm to watch for other symptoms and keep the journal. But no loss of strength, no balance issues, so no tumors most likely.
 
And I had a good talk with her about helping me out when I was all burnt out. I figured doctors often don't get to hear any endings of stories. They see patients, process lots of bad news, but they don't often get to hear happy endings. It was nice to be able to tell her that I was doing fine and was about to start a business and was doing fine financially.
 

Recent highlight: My SO coming home. I was annoyed all day because of my procrastination. When she came home, we started talking and I stopped doing nothing and got into gear.

Budget status: Happy and healthy.

My one goal for the next 24h: Find a car to replace the current one. STAT!

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Did it this morning.

-Make the bed - Do it instantly when I wake up.

-Drink enough water - Just had my first drink.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I am going to the improv class tonight, so after skipping yesterday, I'll be happy to freshen up.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Just water and juice.

-Meditation - I'm not sure if I'll go today or tomorrow. But I might hit the park again.

-Exercise once this week - I keep postponing this...

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 21. "Car Payments."
 
Today I'm waking up a bit more stressy. There have been some changes and they need me to look at the employee schedules asap. I prefer waking up peacefully and relaxed, taking my time to get my engine up and running. And now, because if I don't, I'd fret about it until I do, I have to take care of the stupid rosters asap. UGH.
 
Went to see a guy about a car yesterday. It'd set us back about 16 grand. It's a two year old car, was part of their own fleet (Toyota) and management drove it. So there's still about 3 years of warranty on it. The garage is basically next door and it's a hybrid. So I'd save a lot on gas and environmental taxes. We'd have to pay extra to get some rear parking sensors though. But at this point? In for a penny, in for a pound. I'll be fixing a test drive next week with my SO and we've been talking about how to pay for it. Usually you pay it off over the course of 5 years. I can front quite a bit of the huge amount and so can my SO. She's willing to pay for about a third and I can use it to write it off as a recurring cost in my business paperwork. All advantages, all positive, I researched things really, really well ànd I got super lucky with the garage nearby, the mileage, the age, the clean engine, ... And yet, it still feels like a dangerous move. I'd basically pay 2 grand, and so will my SO. That'd get me to pay for it monthly about 120-40. That's totally doable. I'd spend a lot on short term, so I'd clean out my savings a bit. Something I'd prefer not to do. But within a matter of a few months, it'd be replenished. And I really need to get a car asap since the current one requires major repairs. I need to get rid of it asap. Even if I'd buy it today, there's paperwork and other annoying matters that slow it down, so I need to make a call quickly. I think I'm handling it all fine. In terms of what car, the price, the age, the future, how long we'd use it, and so on... I'm not doing it impulsively, I think I just go lucky. It just sucks that as soon as I'm financially healthy, I suddenly have to use those savings to buy a major thing. I can't wait anymore. I have to get a new car. *sigh*
 
No message yet from Starterslab. If it's going to be this week, I assume it'd be today or tomorrow...
 

Recent highlight: Having an oven dish yesterday and watching an old "Gaki No Tsukai" video. I laughed my ass off.

Budget status: Well, a bit nervous because of impending car payments. I'll need to really mind my money again for a few months.

My one goal for the next 24h: Just finish the tasks I'd planned for today.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Just woke up so I'll try to do it after I finish looking at the rosters.

-Make the bed - Done this morning.

-Drink enough water - Bottle is next to me. Just finished nursing my coffee.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I have a date with my SO tonight, so I'll spruce up then ^^

-No daydrinking at home alone - Okay.

-Meditation - Pretty sure I won't make it to the park today. I don't feel that overwhelmed or stressed, though. Just the headaches are annoying.

-Exercise once this week - I'm not sure what'll happen now. My knees are kind of messed up nowadays and I think it's because of lack of exercise. But there's now two days incoming, tomorrow and the day after, where I'll walk a gazillion miles at my job. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. If it hurts too much, I'll need to make exercising a priority.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I totally get you, man. I just got the biggest tax refund of my life... around $3,000, and 2 days later got in a car accident that cost me $2,000 (decided to pay out of pocket instead of going through insurance so my rate wouldn't go up). I was planning on paying off all of my remaining debt and now I'm almost right back where I was. I have to stay positive though... I did still manage to put $1,000 toward my debt and I had the money to pay for my car so I didn't have to go further into debt.

I think you're on the right track. It'll suck short term but like you said you'll be able to replenish your savings as long as you stay diligent... and you'll have a car! A decent one from the sound of it. Nothing feels worse than not being able to get yourself where you need to go. I went a measly 5 days without a car because of this accident and it was miserable, lol. 

Edited by ceponatia
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 3/6/2020 at 2:08 PM, ceponatia said:

I totally get you, man. I just got the biggest tax refund of my life... around $3,000, and 2 days later got in a car accident that cost me $2,000 (decided to pay out of pocket instead of going through insurance so my rate wouldn't go up). I was planning on paying off all of my remaining debt and now I'm almost right back where I was. I have to stay positive though... I did still manage to put $1,000 toward my debt and I had the money to pay for my car so I didn't have to go further into debt.

I think you're on the right track. It'll suck short term but like you said you'll be able to replenish your savings as long as you stay diligent... and you'll have a car! A decent one from the sound of it. Nothing feels worse than not being able to get yourself where you need to go. I went a measly 5 days without a car because of this accident and it was miserable, lol. 

Thanks, man! Yeah, it's totally looking like it's a metaphor for life. It just goes up and down and is full of surprises. At least I can find peace in the fact that, though slowly, I'll surely recover the money. A good, clean car is an investment. Hybrids use less fuel, are cheaper to insure, it's going to last a looooong time since it's almost brand new, and so on... The positives will soon outweigh the negatives for years to come, but on the short term, I'll have to cough up the cash.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 25. "Starterslab."
 
I got in!!! I got allowed into the Starterslab program! So starting next week, I'll be a business owner-in-training. They will carefully monitor, coach, teach, guide and help me during the first 1,5 years of the business. I keep my unemployment money for those 18 months, so I have a guaranteed income, even if the business fails or something fucks it all up. I'll be able to save lots AND get shit done and build the foundations of my future! I'm so happy, proud and excited! I'm also terrified, because this will majorly change and impact everything... This means I'll start coaching and thus lots of things will take a backseat. I'll have to mind what I do to relax even more and check if there's enough me-time, quality time with my friends, time for hobbies, and so on... So it's also kind of scary to be honest. But I'm confident it's the good kind of scary. I don't want to jump the gun, but I think this is the start of an epic new chapter of my life.
 
The past few three days were insane. Great colleagues, major changes at work, fun and drinks, crazy customers and even crazier consequences... I had to deal with a drunk dude, a customer was bitten by one of our dogs, a colleague posted happy messages on every single locker (about 150), somebody peed themselves, ... Insane shit. So yesterday, I had the day off and I just hung around the house, enjoying the couch.
 
But the next 3 days will require focus! I have to make the next schedules (something I hate, UGH), and start a list of upgrades and improvements we need at work. Typing up all of that is no biggie, it's the mental focus it requires to think of how to improve how we work as a team that's so demanding. Major responsibilities! 😮 
Then I need to get this place spotless because and old friend from my former dead end office job is coming over for brunch and to catch up. Tomorrow evening, we're visiting friends who asked us over for dinner so I gotta go and get a bottle of wine or something. And the next biggest thing, apart from buying or not buying the car, is that there's D&D this Sunday and I want to really kick ass. So on average, the week is okay in terms of how demanding it is. But it's not balanced XD The biggest things are today and tomorrow and Sunday. So I hope I find the energy to knock it out of the park on the short term, then relax and recover a bit and then rev the engines back up for the weekend!
 

Recent highlight: Remaining perfectly kind and calm in extremely serious and dangerous situations (drunk, aggressive people, dogs, shenanigans, ...) I'm so proud of myself. Being able to smile, be actually relaxed and have confidence in how in control I am and at the same time dealing with complex stuff. I feel like such a badass.

Budget status: GF used the joint card AGAIN for random shit. This time, I'm not going to nag or fight. I communicated clearly last time that I'm not okay with it and she said she keeps track of stuff like that on her own too and that it's because her own card keeps glitching. I keep tabs on all our accounts anyway. I'll give it a month, if not, I'm going to be very angry and I feel like I'll be right to be so. But I should give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her to manage her own shit and if need be (like now), time to also correct them. Also, my payrolling seems to have dropped the ball somewhere. I don't like fishing for my money. That's why I use their services. I'll be happy to step away from them next week. Good riddance.

My one goal for the next 24h: Get the schedules and rosters to my colleagues.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Did it just a bit ago.

-Make the bed - Done this morning, but I'll need to change the sheets, though.

-Drink enough water - Had my first drink.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll probably go out today to fetch a bottle of wine, so I'll shower and groom before I go and after I've worked up a sweat from cleaning.

-No daydrinking at home alone - We popped a bottle of sparkling wine last night to celebrate the Starterslab stuff.

-Meditation - I hope to get to the park, but if I do, it's going to be tomorrow.

-Exercise once this week - I did over 40,000 steps this weekend. I'll try to get to the park this week once too.

  •  
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 26. "Water off a duck's back."
 
Today I took some time off. I spent the better part of yesterday working. Making schedules, improving stuff and I had an improv class to teach. My SO had a bad day so I spent some time listening to her too. So today I started the day with inviting an old colleague over for brunch. 
 
I am a pretty punctual dude. We agreed to meet up at 11. So the eggs and bacon, the fresh bread, the toast and the coffee were all ready at 11. Nice and warm, crispy in all the right places, coffee with a hint of caramel. I was proud. A true smorgasbord of 'brunch=bae'. But she didn't show. She was hungover, had overslept and would be an hour late. I think other people would get angry or frustrated. But it just didn't hit me. Hahaha, it's so weird. I had spent HOURS prepping everything. I had a full liter of fresh orange juice that I'd pressed myself. I was just so chill about it all, I laughed it away and forgave her instantly. I just ate the warm food myself, had the coffee while it was still warm and watched some anime. Perfectly content. I guess I just didn't take it personal.
 
I'm starting to notice that I'm becoming more resilient to stuff like that. It's getting harder and harder for things or others to stress me out. I even had an insane weekend where colleagues complimented me for being able to keep my cool. Drunk people, aggressive dangerous situations, ... I realized the dangers, but I just smiled and had confidence that I could handle it. I'm not sure yet what's happening to me or where it's coming from, but I damn sure like it! Maybe I'm just happy?
 

Recent highlight: Eggs, bacon, great coffee and a pretty anime to watch. Great way to start the day. And also the entire place is cleaned up now!

Budget status: My money seems to be a bit late. Nothing serious though, I was warned this might happen due to paperwork. I'm also planning to check my payslips one of these days, I'm confident there should be some more scratch somewhere.

My one goal for the next 24h: Enjoy the rest of the day off and have fun when I go to dinner at my friends' tonight with my SO.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Still going strong.

-Make the bed - Did it this morning.

-Drink enough water - Haven't had anything yet. I'll fill it up right now.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll do it before I leave for my friends.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Just coffee, juice and water.

-Meditation - Thursday is going to be a pretty day, so I'm aiming at going to the park then.

-Exercise once this week - Not going to Krav Maga is becoming a habit, it seems. I still mind my weight and food, though. I'm starting to think it's just not a priority for now. I'm sure this feeling will pop up soon enough. If the new business doesn't allow me to exercise, I'll try to find some good home calisthenics to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Detox day 27. "Gyoza with a side of holocaust."
 
Dinner last night was lovely. I feel so happy that I'm in a place now where people ask me and my SO out to come have dinner with them. I've never had friends like that. I feel like I'm in a good place. My friend's SO is going through a hard period as well and it seems that my SO was resonating with that. It was so nice to be able to have an open conversation about depression, pressure, perfectionism, ... I never realized that ALOT of people really struggle with this. Even people who do cool stuff and seem successful. The longer I live, the more people I get to know properly, the more I feel like life is hard on all of us. Everybody has some kind of beast they have to wrestle to get through the day. It's humbling and makes you realize we're all connected and trying to figure out our own ways in life. But a little part of me is sad and understand how once could become a grave cynic and just reject it all.
 
We ended up deciding they'll have to come over next month and I'll cook some Japanese stuff I learned from my Japanese cookbook. I'm véry excited. I loooove cooking for guests. I'm going all out! Starters, 2 small main dishes per person and a dessert! I'm thinking Tsukemen, Omurice and some Japanese curry; as dessert I was thinking of strawberry sandwiches or maybe melonpan if I can make it. And maybe as a starter some miso soup or a seaweed salad? I'm thinking of serving Kirin or Sapporro to drink or getting some Umeshu somewhere. Or just Ramune, tea or water XD I'm totally going all out! I love Japan, I love cooking and I like having people over. I already look forward to next month! I should probably try out the dishes first, though. Making your own noodles is hard and prone to failure.
 
And finally, the holocaust thing... I've been setting up a monthly open mic for a while now. It's at a local coffee place. Apparently (I didn't really notice) last time there was a holocaust joke. Coincidentally I know the comedian, it was his second time and he really has potential. But the owner told me he'd prefer to not see him on the open mic again since he's Jewish and took offense to the joke. Now, I don't like being censored. The only thing you can blame the young comedian of is being inexperienced. The thing about sensitive topics and comedy is that you HAVE to be funny. You can't make a crude racist joke without being sure you'll get a laugh. Because if you don't get any laughs, you just made a racist comment and not a joke. And that's precarious... So I can see how the young comedian fucked up. But that's not his fault. It was his second time ever. Comedians learn through falling down and getting back up again. On top of that, I can't really remember if people laughed at the joke or not, but it's his right to make the joke. It's free speech. In comedy, in my opinion, everything and everyone is fair game. You want to make holocaust jokes, cancer jokes, rape jokes, even jokes about my person? Go ahead. Do it. I mean, you better be really fucking sure of yourself and blow the crowd away with how funny you are because if you're not, you're going to bump into some major murderous gazes. But the point is that you're allowed to say those things. Nobody will legally be able to do anything about it. And especially in comedy, not censoring anything is super important. Comedians are the court jesters of the world. We make sure everything is light, funny and that people in power get their asses handed to them from time to time. Censoring things is a slippery slope and really scary. Because if I were to censor Jewish jokes, it opens up the discussion to what else is unacceptable. There needs to be a line drawn somewhere. You can't single out Jewish jokes without also including Muslim jokes, Christian jokes, and so on... But suddenly, you can't joke about religion anymore. And I think we all can understand what happens if you're no longer allowed to say anything bad about religious things... Power corrupts and ultimate power corrupts ultimately. I understand that for that person it hurt and must have been a slap in the face of him and his religious community. But what about me? I mean, I see things that hurt me on a daily basis. Young people in media being taken advantage of, women getting groped, people fighting, ... But I don't expect the world to accommodate me, so if you want to live in a normal society, you develop a shield for these kinds of things.
 
In the end I just dodged the discussion. I gave the owner some time, listened to his griping and tabled the discussion. If the comedian wants to come over again, I'll allow him. I'll talk to the owner and make it clear that I won't be a part of something that censors and I'll give him the light version of this paragraph above me. He's not allowed to censor things, though I understand where he's coming from. If we start saying what is and is not right on our stage, it's already a lost cause and I won't put my name on that. Yes, the holocaust is horrible. But my losing my grandfather was horrible too. You cannot compare personal pains, it's not a pissing match. No matter what I say, I will never convince you that your pain is smaller than mine or the other way around. So let's just all let go and have the silly people make their jokes on stage.
 

Recent highlight: Fresh made gyoza with cabbage, tofu and shitake.

Budget status: Nothing specific to report.

My one goal for the next 24h: I have a busy next half of the week coming up. I feel rather energetic. Not too much, but enough. I have household things to do, work things to do... I will do my best to kick ass for 48h. I notice it's going to bug me. I could just work off my to do list, but the household chores will be nagging at me, so I want to do them first and get it out of the way.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - All good.

-Make the bed - Done this morning.

-Drink enough water - Had my first few drinks already.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I am seeing an old friend for drinks later today, so I'll do it before I go out.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had drinks, but with friends.

-Meditation - Planned to go to the park tomorrow.

-Exercise once this week - Knees still hurt. I'm starting to get convinced of the idea that it's my leg muscles that are diminishing and I should start working out at home somehow to compensate. If I find time at some point this week, I'd like to take a look at some kind of workout I could do at home.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hopefully he learned from the experience. I think you have to have a reputation built for yourself before you can start making jokes like that. It also depends on the joke... you can be "racist" and also lighthearted and funny but if you're just telling the kind of white trash racist jokes that people at fast food restaurants tell each other, it has no place on a stage. Maybe in Kentucky or something, lol. (that was a prejudiced joke)

For me, I just think those kinds of jokes just signify that someone isn't very funny or original. Picking on race is a cheap way to get laughs from people who agree with you... and you'd better hope a lot of the audience agrees with you, lol. That's why the reputation is important... if people are specifically coming to see you because they know what kind of jokes you tell, they'll let it slide.

Take Anthony Jeselnik for example... I thought he was hilarious the first time I heard one of his CD's but it's just the same tired "outrageous" bs over and over again, he got boring fast and now I can't even listen to him. He writes good jokes, for sure, but he really lacks creativity.

That's just my humble opinion as someone who watches a lot of comedy and has dabbled a bit in joke writing for books.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can definitely sense that those talks you guys have about common problems are bonding, cathartic and meaningful. I'm slowly figuring out how to have more of these with people I meet, so the experience can be mutually enriching and pleasant.

 

I think you behaved like a good employer in this scenario. If it's the first complaint there has ever been on your guy, take note of it and be vigilant. I think if you gave in to the owner (i.e. apologetically said it won't happen again), you'd show yourself as incompetent, unworthy of respect and easily manipulated.

I actually had a similar triangle a few months ago, where I was the employee, just like your comedian. My employer would just give me up, because the other company decided (retroactively) that the lessons I taught didn't happen. I got mad. I wrote all of them I wouldn't stand for such shit and they reconsidered their attitude. My employer didn't win any points with that and I'm happy I actually don't work for them anymore.

 

As for the Holocaust joke itself (no matter how well it actually went for your guy), I think the true "joke" in all this is that "only" Holocaust reached the magnitude of general knowledge that it could be turned into a joke. I think nobody would make the joke about Stalin's USSR, Maoist China, the genocide of Armenians or the Rwandan one, because hardly anyone knows about these. It could be the portrait of the society we live in. In the end, you are right - it's not a pissing contest as for who had it worse. All those people tortured had it horrible.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Phoenixking said:
Detox day 27. "Gyoza with a side of holocaust."
 
Dinner last night was lovely. I feel so happy that I'm in a place now where people ask me and my SO out to come have dinner with them. I've never had friends like that. I feel like I'm in a good place. My friend's SO is going through a hard period as well and it seems that my SO was resonating with that. It was so nice to be able to have an open conversation about depression, pressure, perfectionism, ... I never realized that ALOT of people really struggle with this. Even people who do cool stuff and seem successful. The longer I live, the more people I get to know properly, the more I feel like life is hard on all of us. Everybody has some kind of beast they have to wrestle to get through the day. It's humbling and makes you realize we're all connected and trying to figure out our own ways in life. But a little part of me is sad and understand how once could become a grave cynic and just reject it all.
 
We ended up deciding they'll have to come over next month and I'll cook some Japanese stuff I learned from my Japanese cookbook. I'm véry excited. I loooove cooking for guests. I'm going all out! Starters, 2 small main dishes per person and a dessert! I'm thinking Tsukemen, Omurice and some Japanese curry; as dessert I was thinking of strawberry sandwiches or maybe melonpan if I can make it. And maybe as a starter some miso soup or a seaweed salad? I'm thinking of serving Kirin or Sapporro to drink or getting some Umeshu somewhere. Or just Ramune, tea or water XD I'm totally going all out! I love Japan, I love cooking and I like having people over. I already look forward to next month! I should probably try out the dishes first, though. Making your own noodles is hard and prone to failure.
 
And finally, the holocaust thing... I've been setting up a monthly open mic for a while now. It's at a local coffee place. Apparently (I didn't really notice) last time there was a holocaust joke. Coincidentally I know the comedian, it was his second time and he really has potential. But the owner told me he'd prefer to not see him on the open mic again since he's Jewish and took offense to the joke. Now, I don't like being censored. The only thing you can blame the young comedian of is being inexperienced. The thing about sensitive topics and comedy is that you HAVE to be funny. You can't make a crude racist joke without being sure you'll get a laugh. Because if you don't get any laughs, you just made a racist comment and not a joke. And that's precarious... So I can see how the young comedian fucked up. But that's not his fault. It was his second time ever. Comedians learn through falling down and getting back up again. On top of that, I can't really remember if people laughed at the joke or not, but it's his right to make the joke. It's free speech. In comedy, in my opinion, everything and everyone is fair game. You want to make holocaust jokes, cancer jokes, rape jokes, even jokes about my person? Go ahead. Do it. I mean, you better be really fucking sure of yourself and blow the crowd away with how funny you are because if you're not, you're going to bump into some major murderous gazes. But the point is that you're allowed to say those things. Nobody will legally be able to do anything about it. And especially in comedy, not censoring anything is super important. Comedians are the court jesters of the world. We make sure everything is light, funny and that people in power get their asses handed to them from time to time. Censoring things is a slippery slope and really scary. Because if I were to censor Jewish jokes, it opens up the discussion to what else is unacceptable. There needs to be a line drawn somewhere. You can't single out Jewish jokes without also including Muslim jokes, Christian jokes, and so on... But suddenly, you can't joke about religion anymore. And I think we all can understand what happens if you're no longer allowed to say anything bad about religious things... Power corrupts and ultimate power corrupts ultimately. I understand that for that person it hurt and must have been a slap in the face of him and his religious community. But what about me? I mean, I see things that hurt me on a daily basis. Young people in media being taken advantage of, women getting groped, people fighting, ... But I don't expect the world to accommodate me, so if you want to live in a normal society, you develop a shield for these kinds of things.
 
In the end I just dodged the discussion. I gave the owner some time, listened to his griping and tabled the discussion. If the comedian wants to come over again, I'll allow him. I'll talk to the owner and make it clear that I won't be a part of something that censors and I'll give him the light version of this paragraph above me. He's not allowed to censor things, though I understand where he's coming from. If we start saying what is and is not right on our stage, it's already a lost cause and I won't put my name on that. Yes, the holocaust is horrible. But my losing my grandfather was horrible too. You cannot compare personal pains, it's not a pissing match. No matter what I say, I will never convince you that your pain is smaller than mine or the other way around. So let's just all let go and have the silly people make their jokes on stage.
 

Recent highlight: Fresh made gyoza with cabbage, tofu and shitake.

Budget status: Nothing specific to report.

My one goal for the next 24h: I have a busy next half of the week coming up. I feel rather energetic. Not too much, but enough. I have household things to do, work things to do... I will do my best to kick ass for 48h. I notice it's going to bug me. I could just work off my to do list, but the household chores will be nagging at me, so I want to do them first and get it out of the way.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - All good.

-Make the bed - Done this morning.

-Drink enough water - Had my first few drinks already.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I am seeing an old friend for drinks later today, so I'll do it before I go out.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had drinks, but with friends.

-Meditation - Planned to go to the park tomorrow.

-Exercise once this week - Knees still hurt. I'm starting to get convinced of the idea that it's my leg muscles that are diminishing and I should start working out at home somehow to compensate. If I find time at some point this week, I'd like to take a look at some kind of workout I could do at home.

I agree with the shop owner partly and I'm not here to offend your opinion, but to give mine.

The holocaust was the worst event in human history. Over 11 million Jews and Russians were tortured, raped, experimented on, and murdered. Sure, you probably know this, but a lot of younger generation doesn't believe in it now. It's becoming a problem. I think joking about it can make it seem less powerful and terrible of an event. I suggest you watch the unedited footage of the holocaust on Netflix while it is still there. General Eisenhower brought a film crew with him to take undocumented footage of the liberation of multiple concentration camps to show what the prisoners were facing and how tortured they were. It might give some perspective on why the owner feels so strongly about not inviting that person back.

I don't believe in censorship. Personally, I think making religious, political, gender trope, and insulting jokes are cringy and low talent. I think it takes talent to make someone laugh without hurting someone you disagree with. But they have a right to say it. It's just hate speech with comedic tones and is pretty weak.

I don't really think it's socially acceptable to speak a certain way about a few specific events in human history. I think you can make fun of religion all you want and you'll offend people or get a cheap joke out of it. There's a difference between religious genocide comments and organized religion comments. You can make fun of stereotypes for religious members and other people in general. It's cheap comedy. But to make fun of something where almost 6 million Jews and 5 million Russians were killed - that's off limits for sure. Same with the Armenian genocide in WW1 by the Turkish as well as other genocides, terrorist attacks, murders, etc.

I think some people realize they're not funny, or don't understand what a comedic reaction from another person truly is, and will make a sensationalist joke on a very controversial topic. They think the reaction of others is a sign of success and might not understand they're too far out of line. There was a comic who made fun of the 9/11 attacks in New York about 4 months after the attacks and got booed hideously. He said the crowd just didn't understand his talent.

Sorry for the long response. I just wanted to explain why I agree with the shop owner, but agree with you regarding free speech. I just think there's a time and place for things and there are certain events that have happened in the course of human history that should never be poked fun at and the holocaust is most certainly at the top of that list.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Hopefully he learned from the experience. I think you have to have a reputation built for yourself before you can start making jokes like that. It also depends on the joke... you can be "racist" and also lighthearted and funny but if you're just telling the kind of white trash racist jokes that people at fast food restaurants tell each other, it has no place on a stage. Maybe in Kentucky or something, lol. (that was a prejudiced joke)

For me, I just think those kinds of jokes just signify that someone isn't very funny or original. Picking on race is a cheap way to get laughs from people who agree with you... and you'd better hope a lot of the audience agrees with you, lol. That's why the reputation is important... if people are specifically coming to see you because they know what kind of jokes you tell, they'll let it slide.

Take Anthony Jeselnik for example... I thought he was hilarious the first time I heard one of his CD's but it's just the same tired "outrageous" bs over and over again, he got boring fast and now I can't even listen to him. He writes good jokes, for sure, but he really lacks creativity.

That's just my humble opinion as someone who watches a lot of comedy and has dabbled a bit in joke writing for books.

Yeah, he's not to be blamed for this. He can't help his lack of experience, quite the opposite, he was there on stage to improve himself. That's the point of an open mic. 

I sent him a message about tackling edgy subjects like that. I hope this doesn't scare him off. If it does, he probably would not have survived comedy in the long run anyway. True comedians are insanely thick skinned. I do agree with what you say about outrageous jokes. After a while, it kind of becomes tedious. The wow-factor subsides and if you take away that, because after a while people'd get used to you and your material, and if there's no proper jokes left, then you're kind of done for. A true comedian is funny, no matter what, you shouldn't get to rely on saying crazy shit to be funny. Take away that crazy shit, and there's no more comedian left. That's no comedian to me. But still, funny is subjective. Who am I to say that Anthony Jeselnik is great or crap?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Ikar said:

I think you behaved like a good employer in this scenario. If it's the first complaint there has ever been on your guy, take note of it and be vigilant. I think if you gave in to the owner (i.e. apologetically said it won't happen again), you'd show yourself as incompetent, unworthy of respect and easily manipulated.

Thanks, man. I wasn't like this before. But I'm a bit of a stronger person now and I stick to my principles and I try not to budge. Especially when stuff gets a bit more serious. If push comes to shove and the owner of the place really places a ban on stuff like that, I will simply walk away. It's not worth the stress. The irony is that he does it all to be a good person. He's got this sign up in front of the place that says something along the lines of "We accept all genders, races, religions, ...". Ironically, if he were to exclude that dude because of what he said, jokingly, he'd be no better than the people he put that sign up for. If you want to be a good person, you need to be good in àll circumstances. Even when accepting those you deem different or an enemy. If you face your enemy with weapons drawn, you're no better than him. And that's fine too, but then you need to remove the hypocritical sign.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I agree with the shop owner partly and I'm not here to offend your opinion, but to give mine.

Great nuance. Seriously.

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

The holocaust was the worst event in human history. Over 11 million Jews and Russians were tortured, raped, experimented on, and murdered. Sure, you probably know this, but a lot of younger generation doesn't believe in it now. It's becoming a problem. I think joking about it can make it seem less powerful and terrible of an event. I suggest you watch the unedited footage of the holocaust on Netflix while it is still there. General Eisenhower brought a film crew with him to take undocumented footage of the liberation of multiple concentration camps to show what the prisoners were facing and how tortured they were. It might give some perspective on why the owner feels so strongly about not inviting that person back.

Well, yes and no. It's something both well known and also only from recent history. It's relatively close by to our current modern times and thus more sensitive. There have been many major traumatic events in human history, on the long term or short, and it's rather difficult to scale any of them in terms of how severe they were. Where should we draw the line? No Holocaust jokes, but jokes about Jews are okay? Or just no jokes about Jews in general just to be safe? Or should we dodge genocides, and big traumatic stuff like 9/11 or the Rwandan massacre too? Who are we to say that the mass torture and genocide of those Jews and Russians is worse than for example Israelis killing Palestinians. After all, the Jewish Israelis know what it is to truly suffer, so shouldn't they show kindness to others instead of bullets? Or take China for example. A total population greatly dwarfing the 11 million Jews and Russians you mention. They aren't tortured, but some are black bagged by the government and who knows what dark shit they do to their own people? On top of that they are monitored, live in dire times in terms of surveillance and social credit scores, ... One could argue that the 'light torture' the Chinese government is using on it's own 1,45 billion people is worse than the 'serious torture' the Nazis unleashed on 11 million people in terms of level of torture per capita. One could go even further to argue by saying that at least the Nazis were fought off by an major world war and Allied powers working together to save them because they care for them. Nobody is doing anything truly on that magnitude to stop China's mental rape of it's own people. But again, who are we to judge that one major historical event is worse than the other right? I'm pretty sure my Asian neighbours would care more for the latter than the former example or horrible things humans are capable of doing to each other. So either you are wrong, I am wrong and my Asian neighbours are wrong for wanting to fight for what we believe in. Or the truth is relative.

 

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

He said the crowd just didn't understand his talent.

That is just a fucking stupid person. Pick your battles. Especially in comedy and when tackling sensitive topics. I do majorly agree with people needing to take a look at who they're talking to before they go into more edgy comedy material. But comedy is really fucking hard. And making mistakes like that is how you learn. There's no other way. There's no safe simulation, no real manual. You just have to get on that stage and risk it all. And sadly, some comedians say horrible stuff in hopes of being funny. Some of them are seriously misguided, sadly and yes, then it's kind of like hate speech with a little laugh here and there. I do not like comedians like that at aaaall. I'm here for your jokes, not your politics, ugh. But it's still important to do so, though. Any subject that has some form of status, has power. And power corrupts. So comedians needs to talk about the holocaust, politicians, genocides, rape, etc.. Those things need to be made light of to tear down that status and power. Because if you don't, a subject attains a level of dictatorship since you can't say anything bad about it. Most comedians aren't to blame though, you can only blame them for trying or for being inexperienced. The former deserves respect and the latter is not their fault. But sometimes, I admit, there are some bad apples... But you find those on almost every branch of life. At least comedians fight the assholes with jokes.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah what you mentioned about being thick skinned is one of the reasons I've still never tried stand-up even though lots of people in the biz have told me I should go for it... I don't have a thick skin and the prospect of bombing over and over again potentially for years before finding success does not excite me to say the least!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Phoenixking said:

Well, yes and no. It's something both well known and also only from recent history. It's relatively close by to our current modern times and thus more sensitive. There have been many major traumatic events in human history, on the long term or short, and it's rather difficult to scale any of them in terms of how severe they were. Where should we draw the line? No Holocaust jokes, but jokes about Jews are okay? Or just no jokes about Jews in general just to be safe? Or should we dodge genocides, and big traumatic stuff like 9/11 or the Rwandan massacre too? Who are we to say that the mass torture and genocide of those Jews and Russians is worse than for example Israelis killing Palestinians. After all, the Jewish Israelis know what it is to truly suffer, so shouldn't they show kindness to others instead of bullets? Or take China for example. A total population greatly dwarfing the 11 million Jews and Russians you mention. They aren't tortured, but some are black bagged by the government and who knows what dark shit they do to their own people? On top of that they are monitored, live in dire times in terms of surveillance and social credit scores, ... One could argue that the 'light torture' the Chinese government is using on it's own 1,45 billion people is worse than the 'serious torture' the Nazis unleashed on 11 million people in terms of level of torture per capita. One could go even further to argue by saying that at least the Nazis were fought off by an major world war and Allied powers working together to save them because they care for them. Nobody is doing anything truly on that magnitude to stop China's mental rape of it's own people. But again, who are we to judge that one major historical event is worse than the other right? I'm pretty sure my Asian neighbours would care more for the latter than the former example or horrible things humans are capable of doing to each other. So either you are wrong, I am wrong and my Asian neighbours are wrong for wanting to fight for what we believe in. Or the truth is relative.

Yeah I agree completely. Society has decided certain things are untouchable even though they're realistically no worse than a thousand other things that are strikingly similar. There is a reason, like you said, it's recent history and a lot of the victims or people who are related to victims are still alive. Also a lot of the people who rose to power and got to shape our perception of the holocaust were pretty clear that it was the worst thing to EVER HAPPEN in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND. Any logical person knows that this is a ridiculous belief but you're definitely a dick if you challenge it. There's just no upside to it. Nobody laments the millions of people systematically exterminated by the Roman Republic (and later Empire). Genghis Khan and his people executed millions of innocent civilians yet he is lauded as a military genius and the reason so many engineering and scientific ideas were spread (with good reason).

But like you said, pick your battles. Is it unfair that we can't joke about the holocaust? No, not really. Plenty of other things to joke about. I don't find holocaust jokes funny, personally. Not because of some righteousness for the Jewish people... I just think they all are basically the same joke. There is an audience for an entire set of holocaust jokes out there, the one that comedian was talking to just wasn't one. Lol

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, ceponatia said:

Yeah what you mentioned about being thick skinned is one of the reasons I've still never tried stand-up even though lots of people in the biz have told me I should go for it... I don't have a thick skin and the prospect of bombing over and over again potentially for years before finding success does not excite me to say the least!

Same. It's why I quit doing comedy and now just organize and manage. Other endeavours are also a bit more lucrative for me now, so not putting energy into it. Although I do feel like you should maybe try it a few times, you might like it. There's loads of comedians out there who are mentally really vulnerable and who talk about their addictions, depressions, etc... 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share