Octsober 158 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Huh it's been a while. Maybe like... three months? Sounds about right. How's everyone been? So I'll just jump right into this. I started playing games after my 100 (110?) days away from video games. Slowly but surely I've ended back at square one. Go figure right? It's not that i'm surprised, I know this is on me which is OK. It's just I hate this feeling of distraction. Although things aren't overly that bad, some of the games I do play, outright upset me most of the time because I can feel it in my bones how much time I'm wasting. I've been still educating myself - I listen to a bunch of audio books. Some self-help stuff. Some casual stuff. I've spent a decent sum on self development within the past few months. I still meditate everyday for 20 minutes as well. Oh and my card game is officially finished. (woooo!) Now I'm trying to figure out how the hell to make my company website. I was in the process of doing this three months ago but... well the writing is on the walls. Today I came home. Looked at some of my games I have on my new PC (that I spent a fair about of money on..), scrolled around on Steam for a bit. Nothing..Fired up that Blizzard launcher. Nope, not feeling it. It's weird really. I was on the other side of the fence three months ago and saw that video games at this point in my life was truly wasting my time. Now I'm stuck back in the mud and the times when I get stuck gaming, My sleep schedule is pretty terrible. I don't eat badly but the times at which I eat aren't great. Now - at this point I'm aware of this, but I'm really unsure what to do here. Yeah I can quit again and do this whole process but there's something more that I feel is going on here. I want to find the root of this problem. It's funny really because I'm the type of person who tells my friends and family my problems. I was at a gathering not to long ago. A friend of mine mentioned to me that he liked the non-gaming version of me better. I tend to agree. I'm in a rather odd position. I'm technically a game designer. I make board / card games. It makes sense to me as a creative. Within my 10-20 year game plan I have video games as something I'd consider designing into, simply due to my experience playing them. Now I find this like an excuse to continue on this path.I'm the type of person who, when really involved in something, puts lots of energy into whatever that may be. When I quit games I put most of that energy into my design and my company. The process of creating is exhausting so it balances out. Cam - I've still been keeping tabs on GQ. You reached out to me - I said I'm doing great. Eh - perhaps a bit of an exaggeration. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not BAD - i'm just distracted. I hate not feeling like I'm making progress like I was. I makes me feel like I'm going to be stuck at my serving job for the rest of my life and I cannot accept that. Still hanging in there but I've ventured back into the woods. Luckily this time I've got a small lantern with me. Hope you guys are doing well! -Oct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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