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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened


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Kad's Achievements


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  1. Ditto!! Grats on honest discussion!
  2. I read your post and the pain you write is so strong. I was so grateful you made it through the night. Please keep making it through the night. Somehow on those days I always thought the morning was better. The hurt is real and strong but you are so damn precious! Too precious for your light to leave this world! Your feelings of the situation are normal but you are not discarded trash! Don't own that!! You are worthy just by being alive and you don't have to earn anyone's love and respect but your own!! He betrayed you by not coming to you and saying his concerns/needs. Maybe your needs are on divergent paths. Honest communication of what he wants and what you want is needed and areas where you EACH will compromise if you can. Look at what you have learned over the year and don't let it go. You are already surviving and figuring out a path. You are 100% right that you deserve to feel special and be someone's number 1 and you don't have to someone else or perfect to get it. Pardon my reference if you do not believe but May God show you the path and hold you in his hand through this time. I hope one day you look back and see the strength and amazingness you had to get through it.
  3. I too always hoped I could craft an addiction to exercising! Sadly, I was never successful and was forced to just learn to conquer the emotions and thoughts that I turned to addictions to feel better with & hide in. Take small steps of things you feel would be easy to achieve to start. Be gentle with yourself. I don't know if you have the same vicious and destructive inner voice I have...but work to turn it off. If you would not say those things to a friend/stranger..you can't say them to yourself! Don't forget what Cam says to pause and feel each thing you choose for a life you want...when yoga is done, each day/each minute you are free from gaming controlling your life.
  4. I had this issue for awhile...half healed but not living yet as I wanted. It is part of the process and the growth is/was harder to see then. It is happening. I did learn I was not moving much in the beginning because I allowed many things to hold me back. My biggest were fear of failure/anxiety and no belief fundamentally in myself. I kept waiting for those things to go away and the magic right time. There is not a right time and they don't go away. You learn to go on in spite of them and grow through those issues. I learned to walk with fear - one step and one day at a time. I set simple tasks...if I fell down, I backed up to a smaller task...rinse and repeat. I learned that I could overcome, learned tools to help me do it better and what things required strategic plans to get through them and back up plans. I got better, smarter and eventually not much fear, anxiety etc. I learned I could do most things I set my mind too if i spend an honest effort, have patience and learn. Some days fear still shows up nice and strong and some days it doesn't. When fear shows up, I now greet it like an old friend and ask Going to walk with me today? Then I shrug, square my shoulders and get out my tool box that I use on those days to take care of me and what I want to do that day. What do you have to lose if you try that is worse than not starting? Nothing. One day, maybe its today is the right day to start building that toolbox to build your life.
  5. Kad

    Piotr journal

    I fine it interesting that you use done and failed not success and failed or done and not done. I find personally setting goals that require 100% perfection set me up for failure and self-hatred. I am human and I will not get it right every day. We get ill, life happens, you oversleep, a great opportunity arises and you set aside your habits to take advantage of it. I aim for 95% and it is less stressful and lets me focus not on those times I am not perfect but all the many times I am successful. Do you find this to be true also?
  6. Hey Cam! What tools helped me build a life? I actually got them here! 1. Meditation apps 2. Gratitude 3. Books to read...actually made a list back in the day from you guys and I am still working my way through it! 4. Acceptance of life's ups and downs and not requiring perfection of myself - see 1, 2 and 3 above! Took these tools and used on other areas of life I wanted to change. It is awesome to look back and see the progress. You forget how far you have grown in the moment sometimes. Another tool in early days of withdrawal and developing new habits is an actual roadmap of tasks and a nightly checklist each day of the things that keep you on track. ie. Meditate 10 minutes, gratitude, journal, exercise etc. This is especially useful if you plan out your day the night before and reduces impulse/willpower decision making. I know some people that use an emergency action plan for cravings. 1. I will post on forum, 2. Call my accountability buddy, 3. Watch modules 4. Help others etc. Then the failure plan and how to get back up and restart your goals with non-judgemental support. This reduces the time lost to game etc. and it helps if there are questions. Why did the slip happen? What did you learn. Were you doing your daily action plan of meditation or had it slipped? Do you start your day with a daily commitment of not gaming etc.
  7. Kad

    Building me

    Been a long time and I was thinking of this place. Detox was the beginning! My moderation plan pretty much worked. I had/have phases of play and not play. Currently in not play phase cause does not sound fun/interesting at the moment. I get bored on game pretty easy and never went back hard core. I don't ever put life, chores or people after game play anymore & its a quiet time activity for me when I need mindless rote to let stress go free. Games started feeling 2D/flat to me in my detox and that has never changed. So I guess I went from pathological gamer to casual. What I got was a life. I planted flowers and now I see them grow over the seasons. I go to movies/coffee/dinners with people. I am learning Iaito - Japanese sword martial arts. I eventually learned that escape..any kind is not the answer. Many types of numbing out there...alcohol, drugs, food, games..you name it. I learned to feel and accept. It was hard, scary and took me to the ground. I would want to hide but no matter how much I wanted to escape in games...it was not an escape anymore. The tools Cam and others use work. Those 6 weeks of doing the Head space meditation app every day for 10 minutes and thinking it was a complete waste....were the best thing to beginning the changes I needed. Meditation is still the best help for me to stay in the moment and feel and to find centering. The books people recommended made huge changes...The power of Habit and The Slight Edge. Brene Brown's books. Exercise is great too. In this time, I have learned peace and to just take life moment by moment. Learning that mistakes are the past - let them go and the future worries are not here yet. All we have is right now. I put the arena quote on my wall. http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html I don't have to be perfect cause I won't be..I just have to show up each day. There will be bad times..we all get them and there will be awesomeness. Sometimes the bad times end up being the awesomeness. Gratitude is key to loving your life and seeing the good you already have. Do it every day...do it when things are bad/rough. Developing a relationship with God/higher power and others helped give me perspective. Most of all developing a relationship and valuing yourself (work in progress). Then letting go and trusting...look MOM no hands! Peace and keep to the journey...the view on the mountain is worth the climb!
  8. There are many on this forum at your age who were also dealing with the stresses of high school and game quitter. It is awesome that you are starting now! Someone you might relate too is "AlexTheGrape"
  9. Congrats on the great start! Here is a vid by Cam on how to deal with Cravings. Keeping busy was the best thing for me. Good luck to you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjLmwn_0GWM
  10. I have often wondered if there is an association with gaming and depression and/or anxiety. It seems a lot of gamers have that issue when they did not before gaming and after the detox it improves quite a bit especially if positive life changes. Depression can be a significant medical issue and it should not be ignored. It may be worthwhile to seek treatment especially when trying to do tasks like detox. Untreated depression could get in the way of your goals and be a significant and possibly more serious health concern. Others have mentioned that lack of light makes them feel down and lights help. In the end always best practice to take care of yourself!
  11. I found the items that Cam suggested were very helpful esp the gratefulness and exercise part. Took me longer to get the benefits of meditation though. The most immediate impact was finding 3 things to be grateful for. Some days in the beginning I would struggle to find items to be grateful for and had to do things like- I am grateful I have feet so I can walk or hands (which are honestly fairly amazing things). Then it moved to my family and I am not living on the street today. Now I find so many little treasures everywhere that bring joy its hard to find just 5 things.
  12. Kad

    Building me

    Here you go Cam! This is the non-guilty look as I stopped her from eating the plumbing!
  13. Welcome to the journey! It is awesome that you quit for 6 months before and that shows you are successful and just need to modify abit! The respawn and Cam's vids really helped with ideas and distraction during the first weeks of knuckle biting phase! I can not emphasize enough the importance of activities, setting goals and new habits. It will feel uncomfortable at first but that is the stuff that will keep you off games and make your life so rich you don't want to go back to games! Journaling will help keep you in touch with what is really going on in your head so you can address your needs that might trigger a relapse. The book "The power of habit" gives awesome information on how to start changing your life especially if you are prone to addictions as you state. I have learned with myself that the need to escape into an addiction (gaming, smoking, overeating, alcohol, whatever) is a sign that more robust coping mechanisms need to be developed because life will happen. So what is your plan to deal with stress? Gym time? positive self-talk to get you through? a walk? Journaling to get perspective? Make a plan, did it work? does it need to be improved..it is a journey. Life is the best game!
  14. Kad

    Building me

    Life building journey day 33 (post 90 day detox-because detox is really only the beginning). Today is good. First day puppy accident free day yesterday! There was rejoicing! Puppies are pretty intense time commitment and its such a long time since I had a puppy. The training techniques are all different with supposedly more behavioral science. Training not working - research and find a new strategy, apply, fine tune and win, lol! Training techniques are certainly more positive than in the past which I like. Just shows - positive training works and we should not be too harsh on our training either to the new lives we want. Today's daily quote "When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too." I do find that so true at the moment. Each positive change seems to ripple outward. Each step makes the next one easier and builds on what went on before. Now I see some of my hard work and life engagement coming back to me with compliments. I don't need external reinforcement as I chose this journey but it is nice to see external validation that the plan is working. I see how much this site is growing and almost don't recognize it but the energy is exciting. I hope more people discover the freedom and richness of a non-game stuck life. My moderation plan continues to work and I play something from time to time but pretty quickly get tired of it just like I would with a book or TV. I don't live there anymore or hide there. Its about balance these days and my personal commitments to the life I chose. I never realized just how satisfying setting goals and making them, overcoming barriers and issues and seeing the positive effects would be. Not all my goals work out..some end up being discarded but not without a serious trial, research and patience. For example, mediation is finally after almost 2 months getting to the point I am getting what my goal for the activity was. I had set an internal 3 month reassess plan to give an honest trial because not everything will work for you. Keep the faith and know it is worth the rough stuff at the beginning!
  15. I love my bird feeders too! I have a hummingbird one and a small bird one. My daughter got to see Nature in action as a Hawk got a little bird at the feeder. She shrugged and said "Hawks have to eat too". The one upset was my teenage son. LOL. Thankfully that only happened once in the last couple of years. We don't have squirrels we have raccoons. We got them their own feeder and changed the bird feeder to the type that the perches are weight based. Weigh to much and the perch folds down so can not get to the food. Pardon the amazon link but it is something like this. https://www.amazon.com/Perky-Pet-5151-Premium-Squirrel-Be-Gone-Breakaway/dp/B00PK3CU3M/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1468129822&sr=8-2-spons&keywords=bird+feeder&psc=1 Good luck on your squirrel battles and I hope it is fine also.
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