December 17, 201510 yr I'd consider myself an intense person. I have a hard time reaching out to people as I don't want to bother them sometimes. Although I do have close friends / family that I talk to, it's still that I feel I'm not fixing the root problems that cause me to force others away via my body language. I'd consider starting a gratitude journal. I'm not sure how to start just yet. For gratitude it's fairly straight forward: Just write down 3-10 things you're grateful for. You can do it on in a notebook or here in your journal. Don't overcomplicate it, just things that inspire you in the moment. Right now I'm grateful for wifi, and Starbucks where I'm writing this, and the cute girls next to me and coffee and the gym I'm about to go to, etc. What do you mean by you're an intense person? Have you gotten feedback that you bother people sometimes or is that something you feel yourself?
December 18, 201510 yr I "liked" all of these posts because I love this conversation. I think the key here is to just experiment with different ideas, including the ones people have mentioned, until something starts working. I truly believe that you can figure this out!One thing that really helped me is to learn how to dream again. In life, many people tell us what we can't do, what's unrealistic, what is too risky, and all that crap. I ended up scared to have grand dreams because it would just hurt to dream about things I could never accomplish. That left me really unhappy. I've since learned that I should dream, and I should take little steps every day to achieve those grand dreams. Also, it's vital to be able for me to be able to enjoy the journey towards my dreams. In the end, it's not really about whether or not I get to the finish line, but whether I found joy in the days, weeks, months, and years of experiences in pursuit of that dream. Don't get me wrong, I definitely intend on becoming an amazing practicing architect, father of the year, husband of the year, marathon runner, entrepreneur, and really effective game quitting helper guy. I can also find joy in getting an A in my architecture class, making my baby laugh, telling my wife that she's wonderful, making sure I exercise a bit every day, learn about business, and post in your journal too!
December 18, 201510 yr Author For gratitude it's fairly straight forward: Just write down 3-10 things you're grateful for. You can do it on in a notebook or here in your journal. Don't overcomplicate it, just things that inspire you in the moment. Right now I'm grateful for wifi, and Starbucks where I'm writing this, and the cute girls next to me and coffee and the gym I'm about to go to, etc. What do you mean by you're an intense person? Have you gotten feedback that you bother people sometimes or is that something you feel yourself?Gah - I know I have to try it, but right now I just feel silly (it's shallow I know) and frustrated to do so. Intense by complication. How I talk to certain people. How I show my body language. I don't believe I bother people doing so, but it's not a warm / welcoming feeling, that's for sure. I truly believe that you can figure this out!One thing that really helped me is to learn how to dream again. In life, many people tell us what we can't do, what's unrealistic, what is too risky, and all that crap. I ended up scared to have grand dreams because it would just hurt to dream about things I could never accomplish. That left me really unhappy. I've since learned that I should dream, and I should take little steps every day to achieve those grand dreams. I'm sure I can, it's just that part where things start to get harder to see though. It's not that I can't stop playing games that what I see is the issue. It's all the underlying reasons why I did so in the first place. The root problems if you will. I've always been told if I could take the same drive I had toward the games I play and focus it on something else, let's say my writing or creating games, I believe I could produce something great. It's wonderful to see everyone do well for themselves. It appears that I need to go back to the gym too haha
December 18, 201510 yr Author It felt silly for me too at first. It feels... a little awkward, embarassing, makes you self-conscious? Because on some level maybe you don't feel like you're allowed to feel positive feelings? Whatever the reason, you kind of have to ignore it and just do it. It will get easier. It's like a muscle; you can train it. It'll become more comfortable, and you will start to feel more positive emotions - gratitude, happiness, appreciation. And at that point it really doesn't feel silly anymore. Instead you ask - why wouldn't I keep doing this?I'm not one for limiting myself so here goes. Today I am grateful for... My Laptop - where I can post here and watch videos online to better myself. My Table - It's a great foot rest My Crap Couch - It does the job Roof over my head Family and close friends I wrote this down first on this notebook I have next to my bed. These are what came to mind so I guess it's a start ya?
December 18, 201510 yr Now just make sure you take a minute and tell yourself good job for doing so. That is how you begin to build a positive association w/ the habits that can help you live a great life.
December 26, 201510 yr Author #7Hopefully everyone had a nice holiday this year. Sitting at 71 days. Had intense cravings yesterday. I celebrate Christmas and for many years I've received games as gifts. I haven't really been getting games even before I stopped playing for the last few years, but still as I see family they usually play games and this year asked me to jump in but I respectfully declined. Not much to say right now. Got to run to work! Be well guys!-Oct
January 6, 201610 yr Author #8 Hey guys 80 days as of today. To be honest I really don't feel like playing games anymore. Today I just play board games if anything. I've been thinking about selling my PS4 but for now I've just packed it up as a sign to myself that I'm moving on. I've been focused on moving on with my life. I've hit the ground running this year by really focusing on getting my card ironed out during January and February. In doing this I've also been focused on investing in myself. I have things I want to share and give back, so I've been focusing on starting and finishing things. I'm not really sure what may lay in wait for me this year. But I've been asking myself what I can take (give) from this year. I want to become that person who can't wait to start the next day. Hope you're all doing well! Best, Oct
January 7, 201610 yr Happy new year Oct! Great to read about your mental shift. Apparently taking your mind and hands off games works wonders. What are you doing with the time you used to spend gaming? Have you picked up any new hobbies?
January 8, 201610 yr Author Happy new year Oct! Great to read about your mental shift. Apparently taking your mind and hands off games works wonders. What are you doing with the time you used to spend gaming? Have you picked up any new hobbies?Hey Tom, happy new year to you as well! Thanks for your support. Yeah I always knew I would be more productive if I eliminated games, but never have I just stopped playing for long periods of time. To answer your question, I've been focused on creating my first Party game for my Company. I expect to have it on kickstarter in the next few months. As far as hobbies go, I've always had this feeling of writing about something, more so when I was writing during 2010 - 2012. So I've been focused on further understanding the mechanics of grammar. I'm not a very confident writer as I cannot show my work as to say. I've been working on this as well as listening and reading a fair about of self help stuff. Aside from that I've been spending more time with friends and just getting out of the house. Next thing I want to do is get back to the gym.
January 16, 201610 yr Author #9 90 days as of today! Today would be the final day of my initial goal, but I've decided to tack on 10 more days for that 100 day mark. When I reach that 100th day, I don't think I'm going to just start playing games again. I don't have any compulsion to play games but I don't want to end back at square one so it's just something I'm very aware of. As of recently there was a game that was released on IOS called Pocket Mortys. A Pokemon knockoff from the show Rick and Morty. Looks hilarious but now that I think about it I have a large appreciation for the way they designed the game. I want to play it but I don't want to play it. I've been waaaaay too busy with my company nowadays to really waste time playing games as mindlessly as I was. If anything the next time I play a game as hardcore as I did, I'll probably be designing it so at that point I think it will just be called work haha. It may seem like I'll be walking a thin line, but I have such passion and direction for the games I make. OH! What's your opinion on arcade games? They're rather social in a human way (ya know like actually physically having to be there to play them) and they're only so much fun for so long. I'll be going to this event in February and there's this large arcade they'll have set up all day every day. I plan on mostly working so just wanted to get some thoughts on it. STAY WELL GUYS! Oct.
January 16, 201610 yr Congratulations! Way to go!I found arcades highly addictive, fighting games and brawlers in particular. There are a few titles I played over and over again, at arcades and at home with emulators. Now I just don't want to pick up a controller anymore. That said, if I were at an arcade in a social situation I don't know how I'd react. I'd avoid getting there in the first place, but that just me. I'm actually curious to know what your experience will be. Please write about it in due time!
January 17, 201610 yr 90 days as of today!Way to go man! Super proud of you. Whether you do it now or on day 100, would love for you to contribute your thoughts here.
January 18, 201610 yr Author Congratulations! Way to go!I found arcades highly addictive, fighting games and brawlers in particular. There are a few titles I played over and over again, at arcades and at home with emulators. Now I just don't want to pick up a controller anymore. That said, if I were at an arcade in a social situation I don't know how I'd react. I'd avoid getting there in the first place, but that just me. I'm actually curious to know what your experience will be. Please write about it in due time! Hey Tom, Thank you! I can see what you mean with Arcade fighters, however for whatever reason fighters only keep me so entertained for so long. As for my experience mostly. My Dad used to take me and my sister to the arcade here and there. This was before it shutdown, but I had lots of fun and very positive experiences while going to arcades. Nowadays, I'll play a round of X-men then call it haha. It's really not what really hooks me about games today. But still I'm aware of the possible triggers sure. I'll let ya know how my trip went in this regard. ALSO - CAM Thank you!!! You're really doing a great thing here Cam! Really looking forward to the next NJ / NYC meet up! Edited January 18, 201610 yr by Octsober
January 18, 201610 yr ALSO - CAM Thank you!!! You're really doing a great thing here Cam! Really looking forward to the next NJ / NYC meet up! Thanks man. Hopefully some time in May potentially.
January 26, 20169 yr Author #10 Today's the day. Day 100. I've officially reached my goal. At this point, I'm free to play games again, but it's different now. I've been working so much on becoming more productive that I feel if I were to pick up a controller for anything other than work, It's like I can taste this poison in the roof of my mouth. I've worked hard at becoming more successful doing what I've been doing now. I don't plan on throwing that away anytime soon. I'll still be posting here on what happens next. Thank you for all the support guys!
January 26, 20169 yr Author Well done! By the way, how did it go at the arcade? Thanks Tom! No, not yet. I'll be away for 5 days during the third week of February. There's a 24 hour arcade that's apparently huge.But like I said, Arcades don't phase me.
February 22, 20169 yr Author #11 Bonus!Hey guys, After my 100 day hiatus, I really developed a better understanding of what I was going through. I'd say that as of today, I allow myself to game, but to be completely honest. I don't really end up mindlessly gaming away as I once used too. I recently got back from a gaming and music convention literally a day ago. It's this huge party scene with con-goers, gamers, etc. I planned on working most of the con as I did, but when I was partying with friends and what not, I didn't honestly care about anything video game related. I've been far too focused on creating and now producing my current project to be distracted, so I guess getting away from games when I did really helped me get the perspective I needed. I thought I'd follow up with you guys because you're all great! Drop me a line or two if you'd like! Best,Oct.
February 25, 20169 yr Author Always nice to hear from you man Thanks Cam! You've all been wonderful support! I'll still be keeping any eye out for the NJ/NYC meet up. I'll still be around within the community as well. Just been super busy doing 900 things at once getting my business set up and such.
April 6, 20169 yr Always nice to hear from you man Thanks Cam! You've all been wonderful support! I'll still be keeping any eye out for the NJ/NYC meet up. I'll still be around within the community as well. Just been super busy doing 900 things at once getting my business set up and such. I hope those 900 things are still going well
June 8, 20169 yr Author Huh it's been a while. Maybe like... three months? Sounds about right. How's everyone been? So I'll just jump right into this. I started playing games after my 100 (110?) days away from video games. Slowly but surely I've ended back at square one. Go figure right? It's not that i'm surprised, I know this is on me which is OK. It's just I hate this feeling of distraction. Although things aren't overly that bad, some of the games I do play, outright upset me most of the time because I can feel it in my bones how much time I'm wasting. I've been still educating myself - I listen to a bunch of audio books. Some self-help stuff. Some casual stuff. I've spent a decent sum on self development within the past few months. I still meditate everyday for 20 minutes as well. Oh and my card game is officially finished. (woooo!) Now I'm trying to figure out how the hell to make my company website. I was in the process of doing this three months ago but... well the writing is on the walls. Today I came home. Looked at some of my games I have on my new PC (that I spent a fair about of money on..), scrolled around on Steam for a bit. Nothing..Fired up that Blizzard launcher. Nope, not feeling it. It's weird really. I was on the other side of the fence three months ago and saw that video games at this point in my life was truly wasting my time. Now I'm stuck back in the mud and the times when I get stuck gaming, My sleep schedule is pretty terrible. I don't eat badly but the times at which I eat aren't great. Now - at this point I'm aware of this, but I'm really unsure what to do here. Yeah I can quit again and do this whole process but there's something more that I feel is going on here. I want to find the root of this problem. It's funny really because I'm the type of person who tells my friends and family my problems. I was at a gathering not to long ago. A friend of mine mentioned to me that he liked the non-gaming version of me better. I tend to agree. I'm in a rather odd position. I'm technically a game designer. I make board / card games. It makes sense to me as a creative. Within my 10-20 year game plan I have video games as something I'd consider designing into, simply due to my experience playing them. Now I find this like an excuse to continue on this path.I'm the type of person who, when really involved in something, puts lots of energy into whatever that may be. When I quit games I put most of that energy into my design and my company. The process of creating is exhausting so it balances out. Cam - I've still been keeping tabs on GQ. You reached out to me - I said I'm doing great. Eh - perhaps a bit of an exaggeration. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not BAD - i'm just distracted. I hate not feeling like I'm making progress like I was. I makes me feel like I'm going to be stuck at my serving job for the rest of my life and I cannot accept that. Still hanging in there but I've ventured back into the woods. Luckily this time I've got a small lantern with me. Hope you guys are doing well! -Oct.
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