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Octsober

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About Octsober

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  1. Another update here, Lost my job on Wednesday, performance related. Dealing with the fallout mentally.
  2. Correct - Board games. Video games are what I'm looking to stop. I approach board games drastically differently. The situations I'm referencing are in relation to my current job and my relationship with my girlfriend. As I've not played a video game in about a week-in-a-half, it's been a little easier to deal with. Right at this moment. I'm considering my position as a table-top designer. I feel as if i'm not cut out for this work, as it's been about five years and I've only been able to produce one product while having four other games that ended up unmade. I'm unsure how to get th
  3. I can say as of now, I'm certainly doing better. Hm - as for Wisdom. I can say this. I often retreat into games when I find a situation in my life without answer(s). I'm a tabletop game designer and the current project I was/am working on has been causing me a fair bit of stress. I don't have any answers to how to solve these problems I've been having with it, but I feel I'm ready to do something about it, whatever it is. Also, I had some life things that also caused stress, further adding to the retreat. Basically, if you end up playing games similar to this way, your best bet is
  4. Hey all, It's been a while. Just wanted to check in and say that I feel crazy right now. This past year I've spend 820 hours in the game destiny 2. I just deleted my account off steam. I feel extremely anxious, but I know what I've done is for the best. That's all for now. Just wanted to get this off my chest. Hope you're all doing well. Welcome to 2021.
  5. Consider your options here. It's going to be difficult, really difficult to stop playing while in a relationship with a gamer. However, it's perfectly understandable that you would want to maintain your relationship regardless. What you're going to have to look at here is, what do you want? What do you really want out of life. Take some time and ask yourself why it is you think you game. Well all have our own reasons. At the end of the day, we've all decided it's better that we don't game, otherwise why come to this community. I know this may not be the best advise, but while gaming, t
  6. I've been paying close attention to my current situation. Do I like games? Sure, sometimes. Do I need to play them? No, not really. My current reasoning for gaming is to escape from my current situation: I'll likely be out of a job by the end of the year due to downsizing within the company. I've been failing to run my business well. I feel as if I'm in no position to date, meaning I'm not really as independent now (living at home, but I pay rent). I'm really trying to do better in regards to why I come here. I really don't want to come here and complain. Complaining isn't productive. I
  7. Hey, I just wanted to say that I've failed in quitting. I went back and played some game for a few hours to log off and feel terrible. There's a fair amount of unknowns in my life right now, so it's hard to see what's going right. I've been under a lot of pressure while under this recent hiatus. Now I'm looking at what my next step is. Though I wish you all the best on your journey. I'll still check in here and there. -Oct.
  8. Day 19, Two days away from day 21 - a good point in breaking any habit. I must admit, I've been more depressed than usual as of lately. I take this as literally removing any form of dopamine producing activity (well more or less gaming). I've been assessing my current life and have been meaning on taking more extreme measures this year. I'm going to try and get into computer networking, as the pay is good and I've always had a general interest. On top of this i'm seriously considering why I own a business. I'm by all means not motivated by having one as I'm at heart, a creative.
  9. Day 16, Still going strong. Gets a little easier every day. Not much of an update aside. (oh right, avengers was good! Sparked a lot of creative energy!) -Oct
  10. @Cam Adair Wow, really nice touch with the Alert navigation. Super helpful!
  11. Well I wouldn't say never acceptable. It's more like changing habits like picking weeds in a sense. I understand where you're coming from, but happiness for me at this time is fleeting. It's more about fulfillment, in a way to deal with the hardships of my personal struggle. I will however, try and see what I can do in regards of negotiating with my professionalism. Though this in itself, even thinking about it, makes me a bit anxious haha. I also agree with you in opening up with close family and friends, but unfortunately where I live it's a very competitive environment / cultur
  12. I host my site on another platform, so if I were to use their store feature, it would run me $20 (taxes excluded) so about $240+ /year. I totally agree with you that I need to adjust the website, but there's no real reason to do so at this moment. I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I have a sense of direction for sure. Time will tell. What kind of game you talkin?
  13. @AssellusPrimus Thanks for your input! I've absolutely had a counselor in the past, but the only downside is that I don't have insurance (USA)... So getting help in this way isn't cost effective. It is not that I can't weather this hardship now, but it's only a matter of time before it becomes harder to do so. Although this isn't the worst. I've actually been doing well. A lot of the self-development people I listen too via youtube generalize suffering as a way to necessary growth. Given my current predicament, I can see how this makes sense ?
  14. Thanks for the feedback here @JustTom. It's def helps when someone on the outside provides some guidance looking in. Believe it or not, I actively do most of these things you've suggested. Most people outside of the event I go to, can't be bothered with my products yet, as I'm technically a nobody. And I don't say this to discredit myself, its more of an honest, no one has done business with me as much just yet. Being social has been my Achilles heel. I'm naturally not motivated by getting out on social media. But as a business owner, I've been getting more and move comfortable doi
  15. Day 9, I've been looking to further understand the root cause of why I had gamed the way I have in the past. From my understanding, this kind of addiction is due to the lack of connection. Removing games has made this realization more prevalent. My current mood is that of deep loneliness that cascades upon further feelings of despair. How can I best shape my future? What can I do in the immediate to better my success? I often deal with a lot of this 'catch-up' pressure. Whereas I feel I've been sedated by games for so long, the steps I need to take now seems bewildering. This and exiling