Octsober Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) #1Hello? Is this thing on? *Taps Mic* Hey guys - I wanted to wait a few days before posting. Been busy getting out of the house working on somethings, reading, etc. OK let's just jump right in!I'm currently 12 days deep. I haven't touched a game since my last binge weeks ago and I'm really starting to feel the cravings. Alongside not playing games, I've been trying to adjust my time on facebook and the net overall. It's a bit difficult given I use facebook to network with my testers so sometimes I get caught on the clickbait ads. Actually there was an article I saw about some new game that in development (because I follow Kotaku and other gaming sites still for some reason..) that looks artistically awesome. I really appreciated how the mechanics fit the game. In that I've come to understand that I don't really care for games with shallow stories (ie destiny etc) but ones that have start and finish. Recently Metal Gear Online went live and I created these characters with personalities and subtle backgrounds that I would get attached too. Luckily as I'm a writer I usually just take what I learn and apply it to a future or current project. Let me get focused here. I know why I'm trying to get away from games, ultimately they just distract me and make me unproductive. However I've always really enjoyed the feeling and riding the hype of games in development - much is the same for movies. I understand the psychology behind it - it's built up into your head as this great thing that ultimately will bring me back to square one. I honestly can't imagine a version of myself that doesn't play games but I know that, at this point it needs to change. I haven't got a copy of the respawn guide yet - I'll probably snag it today. I did however get a copy of that Habit book via the recommended reading. It's been rather informative. That's it for now - i'll chime in again soon. OH! I'll also be attending the NJ meetup in November. Should be fun! Edited October 29, 2015 by Octsober Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Congrats on 12 days! Cravings are a normal part of the process. They will come and go over time. If you haven't seen this video on how to deal with them, it will help.One idea for FB if you only need the messenger is the Newsfeed Eradicator. It can help a lot.Excited to hear what you think of The Power of Habit and for you to attend the NJ meetup. The NJ crew is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 However I've always really enjoyed the feeling and riding the hype of games in developmentI hear you! IGN, PC Gamer, Eurogamer, Kotaku. Tom's Hardware and Anandtech for news about hardware. Twitter feeds. I made it a point to reach out to a friend or family member whenever I feel the craving for gaming news. It works for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 #2 Just 2 days shy of 20 days . At this point heavy doubts are kicking in. I've been sick the last few days so I haven't been able to get out of the house as I've been meaning to do. I just feel like complete crap. The realization that i'm 27, I still live at home, I'm beginning to doubt my business will ever get off the ground, and that I feel like I'm going backwards working my old job serving. Games have always been that source of retreat, as I'm sure for all of us at one point. As I'm reading the power of habit - I've been trying to find something else I can swap video games with - I literally have no idea what else I can swap it for. I haven't yet finished it but I will within the new few days. Incoming rant - you can absolutely skip this part. As video games are a retreat for me - as of recently I've lost my health care from leaving my last job in October. As I've said I haven't really been feeling well, I'm sure it's not life threatening, but it's certainly annoying. As a server I can't afford to be sick. I've took to the net to figure out my options for some coverage. Everything is ABSURDLY overpriced for the amount I make in a year. $300+ /mo with $3,000+ deductibles! Basically you're paying this money for nothing and the kicker is that if you're not insured you get strong armed with a fine. This county... I feel like I just want to bury my head into my steam account and just say F-it!But I'm not going to do that. I'm just really irritated. So I have to say this is probably a Trigger so fair warning - I really have to unfollow kotaku from facebook (they did post this video about some Metriod Indie Film that was cool though!) . They posted an article about Overwatch the next hit Blizzard game. I'm sure most of us grew up with Blizz games so I'm already aware what kind of trouble I'm asking for playing this game in particular. Yeah it looks cool and whatever. I need to keep telling myself it's nothing special - just another game. Xcom 2 however is going to be a challenge to not play however, but that's in Feb so as I'm on the 90 day detox now, I'm sure it will be a different story then. On top of all this - family's on my case. Get a Career, Get insurance, etc etc. I don't mean to sound like a whiny teenager, it's honestly the complete opposite. I hate feeling like a burden on my family and would like nothing more to move out and be independent. It feels absolutely IMPOSSIBLE living in the US or let me rephrase this - I have no idea of to make enough to live on my own. /EndRant So yeah! It feels like everything's falling apart around me and I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do to survive.I'm going to assume (hope) this is just part of the process That's all I got for now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wookieshark88 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I read the whole thing even though you said I could skip some. Your gaming urges will get better, and you're going to feel so good if you can stick with it! I'm about 130 days in and I'm still seeing improvements! That said, if you do game again (I sincerely hope you don't) feel free to tell us how it went. We won't judge you. I was a gamer for 25 years so I couldn't judge you without being a hypocrite anyways, haha.Our healthcare system is really rough, and I got nothing to help with that, unfortunately. All I can do is hope it gets better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 #3It's been 31 days since I last played a game. I feel pretty good. I'm working on two games and I started a graphic novel with a friend of mine. I finished The Power of Habit, from reading it I've learned a lot of core things from how to fix some bad habits from the source rather than deal with the symptoms. As it's November lots of games have been coming out, friends from work have been talking about games like Fallout and such, but I don't have the slightest care to play them. It's rather empowering to say to others "Naw, I don't do that anymore." I've marked my calendar for 90 days. I've also set the release date for Xcom 2 on my calendar. I would love to play it but I'm going to gauge it out and see how I feel about it then. Chalked up meditation on my list of new habits. It's been 5 days straight of 20 minute sessions that are beginning to get faster and faster. I know I'm still 59 days out, to be honest I don't even count the days, I just do other things that make me productive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Congrats on 31 days so far! That's a great accomplishment to be proud of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 #4Day 40! I've become a more productive man lately. Currently working on two card games now and a graphic novel! I'm also 14 days into meditating, 20 minute sessions daily. May as well be dating again within the next few weeks. Things have been looking quite promising. Just going to keep focused on my 90 day goal and go from there. I'm sorry I haven't been contributing as much lately. I did however meet up at the NJ group and had some great conversations! Thanks for the support guys. I'm going to try and fit some more time to help round here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Awesome to hear you made it to the NJ meetup! Hope to meet you next time I'm out that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 #5 Day 51. I'm going to add 10 more days to my initial goal of 90 days, so I'll technically be looking at 100 days total. I finished reading Hooked which I have to say helped me better to understand how to approach looking at which type of player or group I'd be designing for. I've still be meditating every day for 20 minutes for weeks now. I've still got the release of X Com 2 on my calendar, ultimately I don't even know if I'll play it. I don't yet know if I'll be able to play games the way I would want to if even at all. It's just assuring to know that I'm in control rather than just mindlessly / subconsciously playing due to the habits I've formed. Understanding the mechanics of theses habits has helped me recognized patterns and the processes to control them. I'm half way to my goal. 49 more days to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Loved Hooked. Great job on 51 days so far. That's no joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 Loved Hooked. Great job on 51 days so far. That's no joke. All of the recommended reading has been excellent! I've got 3 more to read of the 5. As I've been going through the motions by tracking each 10 days I complete (the small wins), it makes it easier to see progress happening in real time. I'm too stubborn not to see this through now haha. Thanks for the support cam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Awesome job on 51 days!(I nodded when I read your bit about healthcare. I'm due to have a fight with healthcare.gov this week. No exaggeration that they've been as bad as cable companies in my experience!)Keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I also break my goals into smaller milestones. For example, at the gym if I'm doing 40 crunches, I count 10 crunches four times. Makes it easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Awesome job on 51 days!(I nodded when I read your bit about healthcare. I'm due to have a fight with healthcare.gov this week. No exaggeration that they've been as bad as cable companies in my experience!)Keep up the good work! Hello Kyle! Thank you - I appreciate it! About that healthcare... Yeah at this point, I've already fought with them as nicely as possible (because I just can't be an ass as much as I try) on how the hell is anyone able to afford this stuff. I'm going to try reapplying and see what my new rates with be, but it's seriously such a joke. You play large monthly fee's any can't even use the damn thing with the high deductibles. Best of luck to you on your side of the good fight with them! I also break my goals into smaller milestones. For example, at the gym if I'm doing 40 crunches, I count 10 crunches four times. Makes it easier. Yeah absolutely - When I was going to the gym, I would do 18,16,14 for crunches. I hated crunches but loved the results. But now that I think of it, 10 crunches four times is really nice! I may have to try that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 It's always possible to get to 10! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Since you enjoy this way of exercising take a look at Hundred Pushups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) #660 days officially today.I haven't really had bad cravings until today due to the amount of stress I've been currently dealing with. I worked a double at the restaurant which was a 13 hour shift. I don't feel I made enough to compensate for the time I've spent working today. I've been stressing with getting on with my life. Stressing with my company. Stressing in general. At this rate I'll have all grey hair in the next 2 years.I've been able to keep away from playing ANY game without real struggle. As much as I would like to give Star Wars Battlefront a whirl, I know I'd immediately hate myself afterwards. Where as I've been succeeding in getting away from games and other distractions, I've been still failing in regards to other regards in my life. The last date I had went on I wasn't really invested in, but I was still myself and pleasant. Things didn't work out, which is fine. I've been progressively more frustrated at work as I feel like I'm wasting time there. Most of all my remaining time is invested working on board games for my company. I don't know what to do to destress. I've been meditating for a few months now, but I understand that's a long term thing. Currently, I feel as if I'm going to explode from all this bottled up tension. That's the current news. I haven't played any games and have been maintaining my course, but I am miserable. I'm absolutely not implying that without games I'm unhappy, it's just I don't know what to do. Is this part of the process? Just needed to vent I guess. Edited December 16, 2015 by Octsober Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Congrats on 60 days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 That's the current news. I haven't played any games and have been maintaining my course, but I am miserable. I'm absolutely not implying that without games I'm unhappy, it's just I don't know what to do. Is this part of the process? Just needed to vent I guess. Many of us (all?) gamed our problems away: stress, boredom, anger, depression, you name it. It's natural for these feelings to resurface when you stop taking the pill. Use them as fuel. What would change? Why? How? Try to be specific: aim small, miss small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 It's definitely part of the process. So let me ask you, what are you currently doing on a daily basis that contributes to you being happy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 It's definitely part of the process. So let me ask you, what are you currently doing on a daily basis that contributes to you being happy?Idk probably nothing really. I meditate but I wouldn't say that makes me happy. I wouldn't even know what I could do on a daily basis to make me happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) It's definitely part of the process. So let me ask you, what are you currently doing on a daily basis that contributes to you being happy?Idk probably nothing really. I meditate but I wouldn't say that makes me happy. I wouldn't even know what I could do on a daily basis to make me happy. Ok perfect. I say perfect because this is an important distinction. Happiness is a choice. So not only do you get to "choose" to be happy, but you can also look at what science shows will increase your ability to be happy.Things like meditation, a gratitude journal (good article here, science here) & exercise (here). Are you hanging out with friends/connecting (phone/Skype/etc) on a regular basis? That also helps a lot. (If you aren't, this article on how loneliness is killing you could be interesting.) This free course on happiness could be also be insightful.Happy, the documentary, would also be good to watch! Edited December 17, 2015 by Cam Adair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octsober Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 Hey Cam, Thanks for this. I've read the article on loneliness, it's quite eye opening on how being lonely can be an issue. As I've used to be social though games, I believe as I've removed that i've been trying to find other ways to communicate with others outside of games.I'd consider myself an intense person. I have a hard time reaching out to people as I don't want to bother them sometimes. Although I do have close friends / family that I talk to, it's still that I feel I'm not fixing the root problems that cause me to force others away via my body language. I'd consider starting a gratitude journal. I'm not sure how to start just yet. I'm going to read up / watch the things you've recommended.Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiNips Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Hi! For me exercise is really important to distress. Something like a jog for 15 minutes + stretching usually does the trick. Of course there are variety of ways to do sports if you're not that into running. And as an extra benefit I always sleep really well after training. Sleeping, exercising and eating regularly helped me a great deal!By the way I went through a similar phase as well, it's totally normal. When I started making little progress and told my people about trying to quit games and how I struggled with it, I was slowly able to get the ball rolling.Good luck, I'm sure you can sort it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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