Octsober Country - Let's do this

[Octsober]

Things have been good. Bit of a bumpy road, but good. 

I've been motivated to sell my gaming equipment. My PC predominately being more of an issue than help, even though I do work on it. I have this fear for liquidating all of it. Not sure why, but its there. 

I've been at this crossroad, in a way, before. I sold my PS4,PS3, and Nintendo 3ds handheld with all the associated games for a reasonable sum that I reinvested right into my business. I have absolutely no regrets for selling these things, from what I believe because I was mostly gaming on my PC anyhow.

So thats my main issue as of now. I have my Macbook that I've used in the past for work no problem. My PC is without a doubt, very well a gaming machine, but i'd rather just have something to work on rather consume with. 

What do you think guys? 

[Mettermrck]

Well, if you have a Macbook as a work computer, then you could conceivably sell your PC. 

[Cam Adair]

I've built Game Quitters entirely on a MacBook Pro and have no need or desire for anything else. 

Edited August 11, 2017 by Cam Adair

[giblets]

My desktop is a $50 Raspberry Pi 3. Absolutely love it.

[Octsober]

Hey guys, 

I think the major issue for me at this moment is that I've been at this crossroad for a while now. 
It's been the same downs while under the spell of video games. I'm not sure why I just can't out right stop like I once did before. 
I can slightly recall what it was like to not play video games any longer, it was overall far better for me in many ways. 

So why can't I just start again? 

What was going though your mind(s) when you were on the verge of quitting for good? 

[Mettermrck]

For me, I felt like I was tired...tired of the drama, the back and forth, the mental exhaustion, the attempts at moderation. I felt like I just....surrendered...to giving up. I said, "ok, I'm ready to give it up."

[Octsober]

Hey guys, a little quick update here. 

I've been going back to my Psy as of these last few weeks. I feel it's been good to talk to about all this stuff I've been dealing with. 
We've chat about the effects of games and it's pretty clear that I need to start distancing myself from them. I feel subconsciously , I want to do something about it. 
I'm not so sure why I've become so invested in the games I play today... perhaps a combination of habits and other factors.  
I know I can't really balance it out and I really need to refocus my priorites. 

I have an idea on what to do but not how to do it. The fear of making a mistake and selling all this stuff also lingers when I think about it. 
The thought of "what if I miss out on something?" or "maybe something cool with come out." is what hinders my process here. 

Just venting and pondering for now. 

[Mettermrck]

Start distancing yourself now and then see how you feel in a few days and weeks. Then you can decide if you want to sell your stuff or not.

Edited August 23, 2017 by Mettermrck

[Octsober]

Been a bit, 

Its been great being able to see my psych again. Very, very helpful stuff. 

I still game to this day, but I always have this lingering feeling behind me. It's a subtle, haunting feeling. Sometimes I even feel anxious. 
Because of this, it's almost impossible for me to get into anything. This haunting feeling always seems to reminding me that I'm wasting my time. 
I've been making strides elsewhere. Back at the Gym. I go three days a week. This will be week four for me.  I do a lot of writing and creative work for my dnd group every other Tuesday. I jump on some design here and there for my projects.

At the end of the day, I just feel like I'm not doing the right thing. I feel like I'm wasting my time. That I'm stuck in the same shit job(s) with no real path toward what I really want to do. 

I can't say what will happen in these next few months in regards to my gaming habits, however I've been doing better than I was months ago.
I pop on now and then to check in. Stay well guys.  

[Octsober]

Here again, 

At this point - I'm really looking to get back on track and remove games from my life. 

I was fired from my job in late October. I worked hard, but there's a whole story with that I don't want to go into now. I've been looking for work haphazardly. Managed to find a security gig through a friend, but really thinking about it, I don't want to go back to working dinky jobs again. I'm really serious about making 2018 my year.  

So I've been spending tons of time playing games not really considering my next move and I'm done with that. I want to be able to get to a point where I can't wait to attack the next day. I'm tired of dreading waking up, to sludge around. 

I'm ready to start making a difference. I'm just not sure what to do now for work in the immediate.

Still around - Hope you're well. 

-Oct

[Octsober]

Welcome to the new year, 

Been meaning to quit - can't seem to find a reason to do so 100%. 

I'm out of work at the moment so I've got a fair amount of downtime. 

How do I just get over this and move away from gaming? 

[Octsober]

Alright, 

Things have been a changing. I've got some work lined up and I really want to focus on it so I can bring some money into my business. I want to remove games from my life so I can get back to the things that made me feel overall better. I think after reading the last email sent out by cam is what made me realize I want to get ahead of this (as I should have a while ago) now. 

The only immediate issue is that I'm quite invested in this one game (Overwatch). I feel some anxiety missing out for the seasonal events. I also have a PS4 I picked up that I don't play at all, but there's one game I wanted to check out down the line. I think that was one of the major components of gaming that keeps us trapped: There's always going to be another game. 

I have too much that I expect of myself this year to be wasting it distracted. I've been teaching chess classes and I've been meaning to convert some of this game time to learning how to improve my game in chess more.

I want to go do a 90 day respawn again. 

[Octsober]

Something I found that was pretty much a nail on the head moment. 

[Octsober]

Day 3 

Looking to complete another 90 days. So far i’m looking towards the 21 day check point. 

I’ve been meditating daily and have returned to the gym. Things are going well

[Octsober]

Day 5, 

Cravings starting to become stronger, but I've been maintaining. Still going to the gym and meditating but it gets interesting when I have time to kill. 

It was tricky today as I had a long stretch of time with nothing to do. I ended up working on a project I've been working on here and there in the past. Made a lot of good changes and progress. 

So far so good. 

 

[Octsober]

Day 11 

Carvings come and go. Been doing better managing it as time goes on. 

 

[Octsober]

Day 20, 

Things have been looking up. 

I originally wanted to stop playing games, as I have a new (old) job I'll be starting come April. I wanted to take this opportunity seriously, so I decided it would be wise to stop playing asap. My habits as I suspected changed in a domino-like fashion. Once I eliminated games, I started focusing on other more important things, such as my company, sleeping, meditation, getting back into shape, and reading. 

I still feel cravings to play but I've already commit thus far and I look forward to the next 20+ days ahead. 

Things get a little easier as the days go on.    

[Cam Adair]

Happy to hear you're doing well brother.

[Octsober]

On 3/21/2018 at 7:47 PM, Cam Adair said:

Happy to hear you're doing well brother.

Really appreciate it Cam. I see you've been getting busier! I enjoy reading the stuff you push out via the mailing list. To be honest, what made me quit sooner was reading the story about the man whom was married and decided to quit. Quite an inspiriting read. 

Edited March 23, 2018 by Octsober

[Octsober]

Day 30, 

I've been able to manage my time significantly better while abstaining from games. I've been navigating other unfavorable habits as well during this process. 
It's come to my understanding that playing video games for me has been a keystone habit. Meaning that once removed, it's opened the flood gates in a way for other habits to improve such as sleeping, eating, exercise, etc... 

I start work this Monday which I've been looking forward too. 

I'm curious to see what the next 30 days forward will bring. 

 

 

[Dannigan]

Haha nice to see the phrase "keystone" habit inserted in your explanation.  I am reading The Power of Habit a second time now, and I remember that terminology.  : )

Keep it up, you're on track.  : )

[Octsober]

1 hour ago, Dannigan said:

Haha nice to see the phrase "keystone" habit inserted in your explanation.  I am reading The Power of Habit a second time now, and I remember that terminology.  : )

Keep it up, you're on track.  : )

Yeah I read that as well a while back! Great read. 
Totally digging your signature quote btw! 

[Octsober]

Day 40, 

Cavings come and go. Been peaking higher as it's currently a seasonal event for the one game I played. It gets easier to ignore it as time goes on however. 

I've been feeling a fair bit of pressure to get my design down on some of the project's I'm working on. As most of the energy I put into games as seeped into my work, it's been proving tricky to navigate, mostly because it requires more patiences.  

I've been working for a week now, in a job that's just a means to an end. I've rejoined a company I used to work for two years ago. It can be quite stressful, but I've been focusing most of my energy and time maintaining myself this time apposed to being distracted when I worked previously. The pay is good.

An acquaintance I know from the industry I'm in recently announced they have cancer. (37) years old, just got married last year with cancer. Really made me upset to hear. I starting thinking about myself after hearing that. Made me think about what I'm doing with my life. Made me think that could be me in the next 5 - 10 years. It was a real mortality shock. 

On a more chipper note - I did go on a date last week as well. It was alright, just didn't motivate me, as I met her online. Online dating is quite tricky. It's like throwing two people in a room together that look good on paper. Most of the time it doesn't stick. But I don't want to hurt this person, as I know they like me more than I do them. But I want to be as mindful of my actions in as a respectful manner as possible. Easy to say, hard to execute. 

Still sailing, onward to day 50. 

-Oct

 

[Octsober]

Day 54, 

It's been relatively smooth sailing. Gets easier as the days carry on. I've overall progressively more and more productive as time carries on. I had my cousin reach out recently, he's big in the competitive gaming scene. We were catching up, mostly game chat. I end up sharing an old video I saved (literally the only one I ever saved) of a game I played where I did a real cool thing. I was a small little smirk moment for me, but I've been too focused on moving forward to think about going back now. 

I'm motivated on getting to a place I want to be. I feel like I've woken up from a long, long slumber. Now awake to only want to catch up and make some cool stuff. 

See ya again in 6ish days.    

[Dannigan]

  Keep at it !  :)  You're doing very well!