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Octsober Country - Let's do this


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On 1/15/2021 at 5:19 PM, Amphibian220 said:

ЕTabletop games are board games right? Are you aiming to quit board games or just video games?

I don’t know what kinds of situations you are referring to, but my limited understanding is you don’t want to confront a situation and choose to be distracted by a game.

Now why don’t you confront a particular situation? Maybe you need to monitor yourself more and  do targeted reading to try and be different in uncertain situations.

Correct - Board games. Video games are what I'm looking to stop. I approach board games drastically differently.

The situations I'm referencing are in relation to my current job and my relationship with my girlfriend. As I've not played a video game in about a week-in-a-half, it's been a little easier to deal with. 

Right at this moment. I'm considering my position as a table-top designer. I feel as if i'm not cut out for this work, as it's been about five years and I've only been able to produce one product while having four other games that ended up unmade. I'm unsure how to get through this burnout. It's been stressful to deal with. 

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On 1/25/2021 at 3:15 AM, Cam Adair said:

Hey bro just popping in to say hi. Sorry to hear about your job. Rooting for you. 🙏

Hey Cam - I appreciate it. 

I'm actually doing rather well. Haven't gamed in 18 days. Reading a ton. Feels pretty good. 

Hope you're well. 

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Day 26, 

I've read 9 books since the new year. I average about 100 pages a day. Feels great to be focused again in this old art. 

Started writing again. Focused more on being active. Overall self investment. 

Though my initial anxieties are thoughts concerning finding work, what that work is, and what I intend to do with my current girlfriend. These are two big questions I don't quite have the answer to, but I do know that what I feel current when around my gf isn't very positive, something I've been taking account of and intend to make a decision in May when our lease is up. 

Things feel lighter now. It feels that I am able to make decisions more clearly. I hope that I am able to invest in myself enough so that I can, one day, help others. 

Hope all of you are finding the answers to your questions on this path. 

Wishing well. 
-Oct. 

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Day 44, 

I'm 14 books in for the year. A mixture of fiction and writing. 

I've joined a writing group, thus far we meet every other Monday. 

I've signed up for a game design master class (specifically tabletop games) in regards to moving my business forward. 

There's a lot of things i've been doing to help myself improve myself, but yet, I can't help but feel empty. Not quite sure why that is? Maybe my brain reconfiguring itself? One thing I can say is that it feels better to finish books rather than games, even though when I did game, I'd only play one game. 

Keep on keeping on. 

All the best, 
-Oct

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6 hours ago, Octsober said:

There's a lot of things i've been doing to help myself improve myself, but yet, I can't help but feel empty. Not quite sure why that is? Maybe my brain reconfiguring itself?

Hey Octsober, 

I felt this a few days ago. For me it was because I felt like I wasn't living my life to the fullest, and now I am on a journey to try to do that. Something I realized with it though is that some days we will just feel dissatisfied with our work for the day. I think it's a normal thing, or we will just feel empty like you said. I'm not entirely sure what the emptiness would be in your case, it could be dissatisfaction or a hidden feeling of loneliness or whatever. It could be anything. My best guess is that it's something with games. Not necessarily urges but even though you feel better finishing books than games in this moment, you just might feel like you're missing another activity you could be doing besides games, like something is calling you to a specific activity but you don't know what that is. I face this feeling a lot and then feel empty because of it, but again it could be anything. I wish you luck on figuring out what's causing the emptiness!

P.S. Nice on finishing 14 books and joining a writing class! Sounds like fun!

Best 

Jason

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On 2/22/2021 at 9:45 PM, Jason70 said:

Hey Octsober, 

I felt this a few days ago. For me it was because I felt like I wasn't living my life to the fullest, and now I am on a journey to try to do that. Something I realized with it though is that some days we will just feel dissatisfied with our work for the day. I think it's a normal thing, or we will just feel empty like you said. I'm not entirely sure what the emptiness would be in your case, it could be dissatisfaction or a hidden feeling of loneliness or whatever. It could be anything. My best guess is that it's something with games. Not necessarily urges but even though you feel better finishing books than games in this moment, you just might feel like you're missing another activity you could be doing besides games, like something is calling you to a specific activity but you don't know what that is. I face this feeling a lot and then feel empty because of it, but again it could be anything. I wish you luck on figuring out what's causing the emptiness!

P.S. Nice on finishing 14 books and joining a writing class! Sounds like fun!

Best 

Jason

Hey Jason, 

Thanks for your words. I've been doing a little better with the emptiness, but today has been a bit intense. I have this feeling of hopelessness. I feel there's still apart of me on a wrong path or that something isn't in place. I have a lot of free time so it's easy to get stuck in deep thought. My current relationship as been rocky. My gf games and takes life slowly, where as i'm looking to make moves and really better myself. Is there a thing with being in an environment that diverges from what you want? 

I'm not blaming her, it's just I try and push her to be a little better and it's often met with resistance / complacency. There's more layers here, but I'll say it's a complex issue that doesn't need to be one, but is. Not good to say, but part of me feels trapped. It's not a bad trapped, but not good either, just 'bleh'. Those of you that share relationships with someone close to you, do you often feel as if you are 'on the same page'? 

Regardless - I continue to read, workout, and take the time to try and invest in myself.  

Thanks again Jason, best to you. 

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