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Icandothis

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20 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Your voice is being heard by you and others. Very good. 

You being here means everything. 
 

Thank you!!!

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Day 64  I need a job. Or some sort of income.  I am not even sure where to start. 
 

I worked in finance for a long time, but have been staying at home for many years. The jobs I had in finance, I worked many hours, and are not really conducive to having kids. 
 

Do I just start applying to jobs? Do I go back to school? Do I learn a new trade online on my own?

 

I was supposed to have a meeting with a career coach last Wednesday, but that meeting got canceled due to last minute daycare changes. 
 

I need to reschedule this meeting and then hopefully I will have more clarity on the next steps I need to take. 
 

Otherwise I am doing pretty well. I have more family in town. One of the men made a really nasty comment to me. I have been doing my best to not internalize. I just say to myself.... wow that person is broken or really hurting. It feels really freeing. 

 

What was beautiful about my day My kids!!! They have been so sweet. 
 

I have been doing Kirtan the past couple of mornings and it has been really beautiful. Also doing free flow yoga to this music. 
 

 

 

Thank you for listening. 

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On 11/22/2019 at 11:19 AM, Icandothis said:

Day 64  I need a job. Or some sort of income.  I am not even sure where to start. I worked in finance for a long time, but have been staying at home for many years. The jobs I had in finance, I worked many hours, and are not really conducive to having kids. Do I just start applying to jobs? Do I go back to school? Do I learn a new trade online on my own? I was supposed to have a meeting with a career coach last Wednesday, but that meeting got canceled due to last minute daycare changes. I need to reschedule this meeting and then hopefully I will have more clarity on the next steps I need to take. Otherwise I am doing pretty well. I have more family in town. One of the men made a really nasty comment to me. I have been doing my best to not internalize. I just say to myself.... wow that person is broken or really hurting. It feels really freeing. 

I also think you need a job of some sort. I think you have too much on your plate right now to learn a trade on your own online. You're going to get distracted by kids and family and it won't work. I think you need some direction from others and a familiar field you can succeed in. 

Do some research in the finance field on career sites. You can also call companies to ask what their needs are and just have a conversation. These open conversations happen all of the time and they might even ask for your resume. A random call with some planned questions won't hurt you ever. It's how I got my career back after not working.

Do your current skills still match current job criteria that companies are looking for? How can you tailor your resume to meet those requirements? I know you can find companies with flex hours that allow you to include your kids in situations. Many of my friends and also my current company do this. Don't just go straight to a financial firm. Maybe you can be the finance/proposal worker for an engineering firm or something different. Don't limit yourself to certain fields. Finance can go anywhere. 

How many kids do you have and how old are they? Could you get government assistance? My aunt just did that. She works 40 hours a week but is a single mother of two. She applied for a section 8 program that lets her live in a home on her own. They pay half her rent for her. This is a temporary thing that could help you get back on your feet for a few years. 

After some time in finance again and you solve the issues with your husband and living situation, you could then have the option to explore a new field for a career change if you don't like what you're doing.

I think financial independence (even if you get a government assistance) is very important. It's nothing to be ashamed of because you're not the kind of person who is just going to be a loser and sit on it your whole life while you're doing meth in your basement and beating your children. You have potential and having assistance for a few years is necessary sometimes. It's there for a reason so you can get back on your two feet again. There's a reason our taxes get collected. Sometimes you need the help from it and it could provide you with the assistance you need to start walking again so you can run.

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Thank you so much for your response @BooksandTrees 

 

Could I ask you are question? When you say flex hours, what exactly does this mean? 
 

Right now, I need to find a job that is only 3 days a week, as my schedule with my kids and their doctor and therapy appointments is very extensive. But all the jobs in my field are 40 hours, M-F. Any jobs that are less hours are not in my field and pay extremely low. 
 

I was thinking about going into counseling or physical therapy. There I could work a couple of days a week and still maintain the same pay rate. 
 

How long did it take your Aunt to get on section 8? Where I live, the waitlist is closed. There is public housing, but I have heard it’s awful... I mean just dangerous for kids to be in. 
 

I am just in a crappy situation. And I have been burying my head in the sand for too long now. But thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. Truly. 

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2 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you so much for your response @BooksandTrees 

 

Could I ask you are question? When you say flex hours, what exactly does this mean? 
 

Right now, I need to find a job that is only 3 days a week, as my schedule with my kids and their doctor and therapy appointments is very extensive. But all the jobs in my field are 40 hours, M-F. Any jobs that are less hours are not in my field and pay extremely low. 
 

I was thinking about going into counseling or physical therapy. There I could work a couple of days a week and still maintain the same pay rate. 
 

How long did it take your Aunt to get on section 8? Where I live, the waitlist is closed. There is public housing, but I have heard it’s awful... I mean just dangerous for kids to be in. 
 

I am just in a crappy situation. And I have been burying my head in the sand for too long now. But thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. Truly. 

Flex hours is short for flexible hours. It's a structure where you can work whatever time you want, sometimes from home, as long as you get 40 hours per week recorded and you're actually doing your job and getting stuff done. Lots of companies are switching to this instead of mandatory 9 to 5 or 8 to 4. Just make sure your boss knows the hours. Even if it's flexible they still want your general availability for emails and meetings. 

She got a home within a couple months and it's not part of a weird community. It's an individual home with 3 bedrooms and a small yard. I'd be careful not to get into a slum if you choose that route. I think there's only a select period to apply during the year. 

Physical therapy is 4 to 5 years of school plus a residency. Counseling requires a bachelor's degree and in most cases a master's degree plus certification for behavioral therapy I believe. Both routes are 4 to 6 years. That could be a long term goal while you're working again. 

You could find a small gig as an accountant or finance person for part time right now and start putting all of the money away in savings while you're fixing your current situation. Even if it's 10k made in 1 year after taxes you'd still have an extra 10k to fall back on. That could turn into a full time job with flex hours potentially. 

You could also train to be a yoga instructor part time. It won't be great money and could take your biggest stress reliever and turn it into a job. That might ruin its healing impact for you if not handled right. 

Sorry for the long post. Just brainstorming and i can't sleep because my floor is shaking from an hvac system error. 

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On 11/24/2019 at 2:40 AM, BooksandTrees said:

Flex hours is short for flexible hours. It's a structure where you can work whatever time you want, sometimes from home, as long as you get 40 hours per week recorded and you're actually doing your job and getting stuff done. Lots of companies are switching to this instead of mandatory 9 to 5 or 8 to 4. Just make sure your boss knows the hours. Even if it's flexible they still want your general availability for emails and meetings. 

She got a home within a couple months and it's not part of a weird community. It's an individual home with 3 bedrooms and a small yard. I'd be careful not to get into a slum if you choose that route. I think there's only a select period to apply during the year. 

Physical therapy is 4 to 5 years of school plus a residency. Counseling requires a bachelor's degree and in most cases a master's degree plus certification for behavioral therapy I believe. Both routes are 4 to 6 years. That could be a long term goal while you're working again. 

You could find a small gig as an accountant or finance person for part time right now and start putting all of the money away in savings while you're fixing your current situation. Even if it's 10k made in 1 year after taxes you'd still have an extra 10k to fall back on. That could turn into a full time job with flex hours potentially. 

You could also train to be a yoga instructor part time. It won't be great money and could take your biggest stress reliever and turn it into a job. That might ruin its healing impact for you if not handled right. 

Sorry for the long post. Just brainstorming and i can't sleep because my floor is shaking from an hvac system error. 

Thank you for the explanation on flex time. Yes these additional degrees are long term plans and goals.

 

Thank you for the tips. I am hoping something comes up. Even if it is in AP or payroll. Then I could transition to a different office when the kids get a bit older. 
 

Right now I need the empowerment and connections. It’s a bit daunting, but I keep remembering that I have years of experience and excel at what I do. My managers and really the whole management team loved me from the different companies I worked for. But on the same note, I asked both companies for part time work and they both declined saying a part time position is not available in that speciality. 
 

Just keep trusting that it will work out. I am doing my best and I feel like I have already succeeded. 
 

Thank you!

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1 hour ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you for the explanation on flex time. Yes these additional degrees are long term plans and goals.

 

Thank you for the tips. I am hoping something comes up. Even if it is in AP or payroll. Then I could transition to a different office when the kids get a bit older. 
 

Right now I need the empowerment and connections. It’s a bit daunting, but I keep remembering that I have years of experience and excel at what I do. My managers and really the whole management team loved me from the different companies I worked for. But on the same note, I asked both companies for part time work and they both declined saying a part time position is not available in that speciality. 
 

Just keep trusting that it will work out. I am doing my best and I feel like I have already succeeded. 
 

Thank you!

You got this. One obstacle at a time until the marathon ends. Sometimes it's a long marathon and other times it's not. You have good references and a good mindset.

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Thank you @ismailkanaan and @BooksandTrees for being here. It really means the world to me. 
 

Yes, we don’t heal in isolation. We heal as a community and as a collective. 
 

I went to therapy yesterday, and I am feeling so much better today. I believe I read a thread where a user was trying to decide if therapy would help. If you are on the fence, please just go in for a consult. There is something so powerful about being seen and heard by another human being. 
 

Thank you all truly for seeing me and listening. Truly. 

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28 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you @ismailkanaan and @BooksandTrees for being here. It really means the world to me. 
 

Yes, we don’t heal in isolation. We heal as a community and as a collective. 
 

I went to therapy yesterday, and I am feeling so much better today. I believe I read a thread where a user was trying to decide if therapy would help. If you are on the fence, please just go in for a consult. There is something so powerful about being seen and heard by another human being. 
 

Thank you all truly for seeing me and listening. Truly. 

Therapy has been the staple of my recovery. I'm glad you're enjoying it and growing. 

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Just to let you know. You are not alone in this battle. Many of us out there even though it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Again I can reiterate therapy has been really important in my recovery as well. I do one on one counselling as well as group therapy and both really help. 

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Day 75 I think.

 

I am grieving a big loss of a beautiful being in my life. Everything has been quiet and I have been very still. 
 

I have reached out for help from the “safe” people i know. I feel held and supported. 
 

I am reaching out to a couple government organizations, in regards to what benefits I can receive. Just dealing with these companies is frustrating because there are long wait times and dead ends. 
 

I am feeling at peace. Trusting God and showing vulnerability to others. 
 

Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. 

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28 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Day 75 I think.

 

I am grieving a big loss of a beautiful being in my life. Everything has been quiet and I have been very still. 
 

I have reached out for help from the “safe” people i know. I feel held and supported. 
 

I am reaching out to a couple government organizations, in regards to what benefits I can receive. Just dealing with these companies is frustrating because there are long wait times and dead ends. 
 

I am feeling at peace. Trusting God and showing vulnerability to others. 
 

Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. 

Keep going. You're going to be so proud of yourself for continuing to push forward. You have no idea how strong you are until you're tested. Keep fighting for you and your kids.

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My life is a series of inhales and exhales.

 

Inhale- hands to sky

exhale- bow

inhale- low lunge

exhale- chaturanga

inhale- cobra

exhale- down dog

inhale- low lunge 

exhale- bow

inhale- hands to sky

exhale- hands to heart

 

inhale- unload forks

exhale- into cupboard

inhale- spoons

exhale- cupboard 

inhale-knives

exhale- cupboard 

inhale- plates 

exhale- cupboard 

inhale- cups

exhale- cupboard 

inhale- close dishwasher 

exhale- handstand!!!!!!

 

And if you are still with me today, I often don’t know what to write. This is what my life looks like.  Inhale. Exhale.  Breathe the next breath. Do the next thing. There is beauty in the moment. Every moment. 
 

Thank you for being here. 

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