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Kona450

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About Kona450

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  1. First thanks @ismailkanaan for your encouragement and advice. The last 24 hours have been good. Full day of work and then was not able to attend my 12 step meeting which is always Monday nights. I had to pickup my daughter from dance lessons which is exactly same time as the meetings. I am not upset about it because at least my daughter is still part of my life. It’s not every week I have to pick her up so next week should be good to go back to meeting. After we got home, I sat and relaxed while having dinner, which my wife lovingly prepared before going off to her function. After dinner, I decided to do a little housework (kitchen cleanup and laundry). Felt good to do something other than load around. I continue to listen to podcasts and I was listening again to game quitters podcast and some suggestions there moved me. I will put into practice those suggestions starting today after work. Things like writing an agenda for the next day and outlining your larger goals with series of smaller more achievable goals that will aid you in achieving those life goals. I also vow to do a little bit of housework daily. Thanks everyone for being here. Have a great 2-4!
  2. Just to let you know. You are not alone in this battle. Many of us out there even though it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Again I can reiterate therapy has been really important in my recovery as well. I do one on one counselling as well as group therapy and both really help.
  3. Ok. Back to day 0. I went back and did like 1 hour of my favourite game last night. There was nothing to do yesterday because my wife and I decided to stay home and clean the house a bit. We had movies on the tv throughout the day and we would sit down and watch for a little bit. Then go back to housework or organizing. I found myself not helping a lot and I think my wife was frustrated but didn’t say anything. When the day was done and we were unwinding I just went and said screw it and I turned on the computer and just delved into it for about an hour. I feel dumb about it now of course. When I woke up this morning I even felt worse and turned back to some self motivating podcasts. I feel better now and will try again. Here is what I learned from this recent experience: When I feel the urge to discuss these important things and ideas with my wife then I should just do it. Saturday night I went through the night thinking about talking to her about my fears/ doubts/ my progress, etc. Sunday morning came around and I chickened out and it was weighing on my mind all day. I couldn’t approach the subject readily as my 13 yo daughter was home and I don’t want to discuss these situations around her at this point. I also feel bad about not even attempting to do some of the things I have said I want to do (swimming, daily/weekly exercising) Anyway it feels good to journal this if only that and get some of my thought process down so I can at least learn from it. Enough for now. Everyone have a great 2-4.
  4. @James Good Thanks for the answer. I will most definitely check those out. Great job on the podcasts.
  5. With all the podcasts I’ve listened to in the past few days I have done some reflecting. For those that don’t know I am a compulsive gambler and my last bet was about 11 months ago. I am in a 12 step program for it which has helped me get to this point. This is an incredible realization about the whole thing: I actually turned to gambling because gaming wasn’t “doing it” for me anymore. I would continue to do the gaming binge thing despite it not being rewarding enough for me. Besides, I couldn’t always go gambling because I tried to hide it from my wife or there simply wasn’t enough “spare cash” to go. To me it’s ironic, but also makes some sense that the coverup problem (gambling) has to be worked on before you can work on the more serious or first problem (gaming). In that I do realize both have been used to cover up social, or self esteem issues (or any self debilitating issues) that I have been trying to cover up or forget about. So speaking of covering up stuff. My first addiction was actually a porn addiction and I still struggle with it now. I am not going to mention it often in this journal as i grew up in a generation that does not openly talk about subjects like that and frankly I find it uncomfortable. Just know that my game quitting detox is currently coinciding with my porn detox and I am quitting both at same time. I feel I can because I am a stronger person than I was 11 months ago. 12 step programs teach you to not get overconfident and to take things 1 day at a time. Learn from your past and put blockers up to help stop any possible relapses. When I say I am a stronger person this is not over confidence this is higher self esteem because I am aware of my surroundings and can deal with life’s pressures no matter how they present themselves. I know this may not be the place for this because it’s my journal but a shout out goes to @James Good for sharing his struggles on the recent podcast of Gaming the System. Good luck with all your efforts and thank you for sharing your story. Thank you so much for Game Quitters and this strong community for supporting me and everyone else with their daily struggles.
  6. Day 3 Just a quick note that today went well with no gaming. Had some family commitments after work that made it so I couldn’t start exercising yet. After those commitments, we went home and went straight to bed. No time to play video games so that aspect is good.
  7. Thanks for the recommendations. I will work on those exercises and see what I can do
  8. @Big Adam Thanks for the advice. This is what I was looking for. Advice along with some accountability. I really need someone to call me on my sh**. I actually have a job that requires a lot of walking. I would say on average 15,000 steps per day. It’s the bending over that’s a problem it seems so sit-ups or pushups would probably benefit me. I don’t have time today but I was actually thinking I would start swimming again. I enjoyed it when I was younger and I was in a habit a while ago of going once per week. I don’t have time today but will go on Saturday for a half hour session and see how it goes. Thanks also to you @ismailkanaan for the motivation to keep going
  9. @JRiz. Thanks for the encouraging words. Good luck to you as well.
  10. I have recently started listening to podcasts. I started with the Gaming the System podcast that is associated with this website but have listened to all the episodes already. Now I am left wanting more. Anyone here have any good suggestions as to which self help podcasts or even other ones that you have found useful in your recovery?
  11. Keep up the good work. Great to see you continue your journal here. I hope to do the same.
  12. It’s great that you are aware of those reasons why you want to quit gaming. We know you can do it. Like every other addiction take it 1 day at a time. Make today a great day.
  13. Day 2 A full day of work today. Thursday night is bowling night for me. One of the things I have been doing a long time. It’s a good replacement for gaming as the league I am in is competitive so the activity is challenging as well as somewhat physical. Some may disagree on the physical part 🙂. Here are some of my goals and ideas on what to do after giving up gaming: 1. Learn a new language - Spanish, or brush up on my French again. 2. Start playing music again. I played trombone in my high school band. I joined A band after high school but quickly dropped out of them because of the video games. 3. Spend more time with my family. I want to develop better relationships with my 2 sons (both have moved out from home) and with my teenage daughter. Of course also with my wife - we need to figure some stuff out still as well. 4. Exercise more - I am over 40 and I am not happy with the shape I am in. I lose my breath too often even when tying my shoes. I will start with perhaps more walking dr maybe I will attempt some workouts at a gym (I have never done this before) One thing I have learned from some of the recent podcasts I have heard is that self care is probably the single most important thing to work on. I have always wanted to help others in some capacity or another and I can’t do that if I don’t look after myself first. As much as I want to prioritize being a great Father, husband or friend, I first need to become the best version of Kona that I can. Please note - I am still not comfortable with using even my first name here. I hope everyone is okay with that.
  14. Keep up the good work. Nice to hear that your wife is somewhat supportive. I too have a 12 step program that helped me realize my gaming addiction however I am currently only on day 2 of gaming detox. One thing about having other hobbies - just stick with it because you will probably be bored of it quickly. Gaming has a way of fulfilling people so much that no other hobby can compare. You have to retrain your brain and that takes time. Have a great day.
  15. Thanks for your support. Yes, I am slowly learning more and more about myself.
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