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Kona450

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About Kona450

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  1. Is there any support group meetings on zoom or Skype available for us game quitters? I find it helpful for my other addiction but have not been able to find any such thing online. Anybody interested if I start one?
  2. DAY 4 So far this has just been a smattering of my thoughts with no real rhyme or reason to it. I want to finish the above story of my last relapse and how I allowed it to happen but I get easily distracted or I don't allow myself enough time to focus on what I am trying to do. Its the same here again tonight. I am journaling because I feel I need to do it but I don't feel like doing it right now and there is other stuff I need to do instead right now. Its Mother's Day tomorrow so I need to clean the house a little bit for the wife so she doesn't get really annoyed. I don'
  3. This is the start of DAY 3: I am writing this in the morning now as I said before I find I have more inspiration and more thoughts to explore at this time of the day. A little bit of reflection as to why and how my last streak of quitting games ended and how I allowed this relapse to happen. With my problem gambling addiction I have access to free counselling which is paid for by the lottery corporation (essentially that $ we lose is going into a pool which allows this counselling sessions and other programs to take place) so in essence I pre-paid for this counselling. In de
  4. This is DAY 2: I am going to have to find some time to do some journaling in the morning. I am tired at the end of the day and I find it difficult to concentrate on what I am doing especially after a very hectic and busy day at work. I work in the nursery/greenhouse industry and of course Sunday is Mother's Day. Boss is on my case about stuff and I have found myself a little aggravated lately. It isn't a very good combination. Good things today - short zoom meeting with some friends from GA. It was short but it worked. Took the dog and went for a short walk again today after
  5. Thank you to those who have read and for the replies. BooksandTrees - thank you for the link to your journal. I have read some of it before as I have been browsing these forums for the past year and a half. I have posted a few times as well but it was very sporatic. I will definitely spend some time reading your journal tonight or in next few days. I have decided to try to do journaling in the evening. This morning I did some journaing because I woke up with this incredible insiration that I needed to write some stuff down. I actually have way more time in the evening. I will call
  6. Welcome to these forums. I have been back and forth quitting gaming for a stretch then playing games again for a longer stretch. It is my experience that it will work if you put in an effort. Really keep yourself motivated in any way you can. Take care.
  7. Hello again everyone. I hope all is going well for everyone on these forums. I have started journalling several times on these forums but it hasn't stuck but I am trying again. This time I started a new journal so its fresher for me. I decided to try and quit gaming back in January 2019 and have been back and forth several times over the last year and a half approximately. Id quit for a month and then back to gaming for another 6 months, quit for 2 months, etc, etc. Its definitely been difficult for me. I am going to start this journal with some thoughts I've had recently as to why I sh
  8. I’m back and this time with a vengeance. I am doing this today because I feel good about this again. I have stopped and started and stopped with video games So many times now it’s incredible. Anyway I have found that writing on these forums does not help me that much so I won’t be writing daily journals on here. I have found pen to paper to be much more powerful for me. I will just pop in from time to time and do some reading and make a few comments as it’s the stories of success that I crave the most. I am just past 1 year of being gambling free and this is what has prompted me today to be
  9. First thanks @ismailkanaan for your encouragement and advice. The last 24 hours have been good. Full day of work and then was not able to attend my 12 step meeting which is always Monday nights. I had to pickup my daughter from dance lessons which is exactly same time as the meetings. I am not upset about it because at least my daughter is still part of my life. It’s not every week I have to pick her up so next week should be good to go back to meeting. After we got home, I sat and relaxed while having dinner, which my wife lovingly prepared before going off to her function. After dinner,
  10. Just to let you know. You are not alone in this battle. Many of us out there even though it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Again I can reiterate therapy has been really important in my recovery as well. I do one on one counselling as well as group therapy and both really help.
  11. Ok. Back to day 0. I went back and did like 1 hour of my favourite game last night. There was nothing to do yesterday because my wife and I decided to stay home and clean the house a bit. We had movies on the tv throughout the day and we would sit down and watch for a little bit. Then go back to housework or organizing. I found myself not helping a lot and I think my wife was frustrated but didn’t say anything. When the day was done and we were unwinding I just went and said screw it and I turned on the computer and just delved into it for about an hour. I feel dumb about it now of course.
  12. @James Good Thanks for the answer. I will most definitely check those out. Great job on the podcasts.
  13. With all the podcasts I’ve listened to in the past few days I have done some reflecting. For those that don’t know I am a compulsive gambler and my last bet was about 11 months ago. I am in a 12 step program for it which has helped me get to this point. This is an incredible realization about the whole thing: I actually turned to gambling because gaming wasn’t “doing it” for me anymore. I would continue to do the gaming binge thing despite it not being rewarding enough for me. Besides, I couldn’t always go gambling because I tried to hide it from my wife or there simply wasn’t enough “s
  14. Day 3 Just a quick note that today went well with no gaming. Had some family commitments after work that made it so I couldn’t start exercising yet. After those commitments, we went home and went straight to bed. No time to play video games so that aspect is good.
  15. Thanks for the recommendations. I will work on those exercises and see what I can do