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Splitstep

Gaming -> 1 On 1 Time With God

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Day 119 (42|77) (27/04/19) Saturday

Had a dream that my dog got hit by a car (she's fine in real life don't worry) and it was super scary and a big emotional shock to the system and it made me realize how attached I am to her.

Played table tennis which was fun and tiring and tried Welch's Strawberry Soda (6.5/10) nice smell and taste, not too strong but it wasn't outstanding (Fanta and Mountain Dew Passionfruit Frenzy are my favorites btw).

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Day 120 (42|78) (28/04/19) Sunday

My parents didn't go to church today because they were too tired, but my sister and I went in the evening and we're starting a new series on Holiness! We went through Isaiah 6:1-7 and I was particularly fascinated by verse 1 with the comparison between King Uzziah (dying/falling off his throne) and God high and exalted, seated firmly on His throne, as well as how the TRAIN of His robe FILLED the temple (the temple was one of the largest buildings in Jerusalem!).

I was also very fortunate to be able to get a pair of Sony WH-1000XM3 headphones. The sound quality and noise-canceling capabilities are unreal.

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Day 121 (42|79) (29/04/19) Monday

Managed to get up for 8 am lectures 👌 The weather today was so poor that I had to stay in the library til 7 pm and then I could bike home when the wind and rain wasn't so bad.

Weather29_04_19.JPG

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Hey Splitstep,

I really know this situation, had this over and over again. Important stuff is to not give up, but I^m sure you wont. I think telling your story to people that you can count on, that want the best for you, is like the best thing you can do.

In terms of God or faith. Every time I go to church or pray, you orientate yourself back to the important things. For mer that are relationships, everything you can be gratefulm for and of course fulfillment in life. In my opinion its rarely seen, that someone can be fulfilled through video games.

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@Sapuverell Thank you for posting, yeah I completely agree with everything you said! Yeah, I have a couple of buddies keeping me accountable which I'm really blessed to have. We can keep each other accountable and go on this journey together! May God bless you 😊

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Day 122 (42|80) (30/04/19) Tuesday

I went to bed at 11pm and I was so tired I couldn’t open my eyes at 7am so I decided to skip the 8am lecture and instead watch the recording of it lol. But I haven’t done morning quiet time for 2 days in a row 😞( I’m a bit worried about a laboratory on Thursday because I don’t really understand the experiment and there is a report due 3 weeks after... but fear in terms with studying kinda helps me because it stops me from procrastinating xD I'm soooo tired right now my eyesssss are so heavy 😪 I always have long days at uni (at least 10 hours) and today l felt it... ah well at least it keeps me occupied and away from gaming and social media! Aight good chat I'll see you tomorrow Zzzzzz

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Day 123 (42|81) (01/05/19) Wednesday

Today was a very busy, tiring and awesome day! I was praying the previous night for strength to get up early to do quiet time and He gave me it! Finished the book of Acts (God's transformation of Saul/Paul, WOW) and now starting on James! God also really pulled me through the midday and evening when I was super tired. One thing I learned is that prayer and thanksgiving go together. I mainly do prayers of requests, but doing a prayer today just thanking God for who He is, was so awesome and felt really good 😊

Edited by Splitstep
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Day 124 (42|82) (02/05/19) Thursday

Got 7 hours of sleep again, I think it's at least 3 days in a row, but managed to get up and do quiet time! The laboratory went pretty well, now I have to write the report. Amos (the guy that went to Crossroads and told me how encouraged he was from it) joined our Action Group!!! And AG went well, we're starting a new series on Relational Evangelism. I do need to spend more time prepping for AG though. I was feeling exhausted by this time and when Jason and I met Jackson, it sucks so much to say it but I was flat, stoic. They knew that I was tired, but it pained me so much. This precious time with someone that means a lot to me and I don't see often, and I was acting like this... it got me thinking back to Day 60 when I burnt out due to cumulative lack of sleep (like now!) and a busy schedule (like now!). I can see it coming again, so something needs to change with my schedule because it's the reason that I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm going to a hangout event with my UniConnect group on Saturday and hopefully, I'll be able to talk to my leader about it. Please pray for that, thank you.

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Day 125 (42|83) (03/05/19) Friday

Got 9 hours of sleep which was nice but I was in bed, thinking about the meet up with Jackson and feeling guilty and sad, then I noticed the sun's rays entering from the top of the curtains and it reminded me that God's mercy and compassion are 'new every morning' (Lamentations 3:22-23), and that made me feel renewed and helped me to move on from it! And today was quite chill thankfully and it allowed me to recharge. My parent's shop has been put onto the market, please pray with me that it would be sold quickly so that they can go to The Bridge's Bible Study on Fridays and learn more about Jesus!

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Whenever I see the term Relational Evangelism I can't help but think about Missionary Dating OmegaLUL

(Reminds me of a couple past relationships that did not work out, however I did get the one to start going to church and the other to start praying so maybe it works better then I thought it did)

Anyways, its good to see you still going strong brother, keep up the good work!

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@JPAO HAHAHAHA bruh it ain't quite like that xD it's about being intentional with the relationships God has given especially the ones that aren't Christian, so for me, that would be my parents and mates. Thanks bro, just taking it one step at a time and I'm learning a lot about myself and God! Hope things are going well with you too John :))

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Day 126 (42|84) (04/05/19) Saturday

Oh boy, this was so so convicting... I show favoritism, even though God didn't do it to us, to me: a broken, ugly, disgusting being. No, out of His love He went after and rescued me! It's the last thing I should be doing!

 

I had a good time at the UniConnnect hangout however, I forgot to talk to my leaders about how I feel like I need to change my schedule and all that... erm I still need to address it, so I guess it will have to be at the next UniConnect.

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Day 127 (42|85) (05/05/19) Sunday

Mum and Dad went to morning church :D and I went to the evening service. From reading James I've been trying to think about how I'm going to act differently in light of what I've learned at church tonight and it's hard with the topic (Holiness). One of the guys that is on my prayer buddies' list came to church for the firs time and I got to meet him which was super exciting and cool! After church went to Jason's house to do homework and also  ended up talking (this usually happens now xD) for quite a long time about ALL sorts of things, which was nice UwU

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Day 128 (42|86) (06/05/19) Monday

Cause of the long talk with Jason I went to bed quite late like nearly 1am OwO soooo I was too tired to get up at 7am (I tried) and instead  went to uni at 11am, had classes for 3 hours and then worked on the laboratory report with my friend/classmate Perry (unfortunately he is not a platypus (well as far as I'm concerned)) till now so like for 5 hr 30 mins straight boiiiii and I'm quite happy with the work I got done and now I'm gonna go home ayyyy

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Day 129 (42|87) (07/05/19) Tuesday

Last night as I copied a document on a printer at uni, I forgot to take back the original document after and I only realised when I was at home and the library was already closed! But amazingly, when I went back at noon it was still there! But as I took it, I left my gloves on a table and didn't realise until late in the evening as I was unlocking my bike! As I walked to the library I prayed, asking if God could somehow pull off another miracle. I made it 15 mins before closing, and they had my gloves!! I was both so astonished and happy 😁

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Day 130 (42|88) (08/05/19) Wednesday

I got to hear from Julie Collins - Head of Forestry New Zealand! She was doing a seminar and since I don't know much about Forestry and didn't know who she was, I got bored and nearly fell asleep.  It was at around 30 minutes in that I searched her up and when I saw her title I was WOKE for the rest of it 😂

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Day 131 (42|89) (09/05/19) Thursday

I stayed at uni til 10pm with Kevin, Blair, and Nic. Kevin told me about an issue that had come up...

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Day 132 (42|90) (10/05/19) Friday

90 STRAIGHT DAYS OF NO GAMING

 

Boy oh boy, it has been a surreal journey and I'm glad it's not over; I'm here for the long haul bois! I do not regret the decision to completely quit gaming whatsoever!  Thank you @Cam Adair for creating this loving community, your passion for this cause and putting everything you have into this! You've changed my life! Thank you so much @Mouxine, @zeke365, @Deku, @Average_Guy, @TwoSidedLife, @Lea, @Leo The Revenat, @Hobedaga, @JPAO, @goodbill, @Sapuverell, @30_yrs_of_gaming for your support and taking the time to write comments and caring for me! It's made the journey a lot of fun and each of your stories greatly encourages me!

Writing this journal every day has not been easy but it has been well worth it, it's helped me see how I've lived my day out, see how God has been working and it's nice to reflect on past days. I'm really grateful for every day, especially my relapse (Day 42) it's been a good reminder when temptations are strong. God has been shaped me so much during this time, it's been absolutely mind-boggling how fast he's going! Before this, people were saying, 'Man you're growing so fast!' but they didn't know that I was stunting my growth because of selfishness and stubbornness, and I actually wasn't close to God at all, I was doing things out of duty and not even talking to Him, reading His word or acknowledging the great things he has done. I was a lukewarm Christian.

During all this, God has done so much to me. There was a point when my attitude changed from 'oh man it's time to go to church' to 'yay it's church time!' and that was a big shock when I realised what God did. God has given me a passion for prayer and reading the Bible, and He has been guiding and convicting me heaps through both. It still boggles me looking at my prayer life and quiet time before and after I started this... The time that I've spent with God instead of gaming and youtube and social media has been invaluable! I wouldn't trade any of it! I am more aware of God's presence acting around me, thankful for everything moment and gifts He provides and I love and trust Him more than ever. Life has its ups and downs, but God has always been there to humble me and lift me up. And that is why I am not afraid of anything. Thank you so much, God, you are my everything ❤️

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Day 133 (42|91) (11/05/19) Saturday

Something God has been convicting and reminding me in prayer for the past month or so of a hat that I stole at least 2 years ago and I think I know whose it belongs to. The thought process when stealing the hat was pretty much the same as in Genesis 3:6 'So when the woman saw that the tree was good... she took of its fruit...' and Genesis 6:2 'the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive (good). And they took as their wives any they chose. ' I saw that the hat looked good/cool and I took it. And every time I'm reminded of it, I'd move it to later. Well today, I sent him a message with a photo of the hat, asking if it was his. He currently hasn't replied.

 

Some background about Nic: Is one year younger, so he is in his 1st year at uni this year. Knew each other in high school through tennis and badminton but got to know each other properly this year cause we study/hang out together. I told him that I became a Christian and he's been constantly saying 'bro you're too Christian' for so many things, like swearing, explicit content and... sleeping early!? It's good that he sees something different with me but I want him to know that being a Christian is not about being a good person and the transformation God has made on me.

Some background about Blair; From the North Island, met him this year through my friends because they play badminton. His parents are Christian. Went to an Anglican high school, but he says that he is not Christian. He cracks up every time I say, ' Big Chungus' 😂

Last night I walked home with Nic and there was an opportunity for me to create a spiritual conversation but I didn't make it happen and I was fed up with that, there were also two opportunities with another friend with Blair this week which I didn't act upon. Nic hinted that he would like to play a game of tennis and I prayed that evening that we would be able to hit tomorrow and that I would be able to share the gospel with him. We managed to make a time and we played which was fun and at the end, we were packing up, about to leave our separate ways and I was so sad cause I didn't get to share the gospel to him. But then he followed me to my bike and sat down on a bench beside it, browsing on his phone... I was like 'okay God, this is it, you've given me an opportunity, please gimme a kick to start speaking about you'. I sat beside him and after a talk about gaming and then some silence I said, 'You know how much God means to me. I have this app (GodTools) that helps explain my faith. Would you mind me sharing this with you and you can tell me what you think?' He said sure and we went through the Knowing God Personally (KGP) booklet and it was really cool but he got distracted 3 times and started searching stuff up on his phone. Two times I was able to bring it back in but the last time he got distracted was when we went through 'During the forty days after he [Jesus] suffered and died, he appeared to the apostles...' and he was like oh that reminds me of the twelve apostles in Melbourne 😂 (collection of limestone stacks) and searches that up and starts talking about his experience there. And then he forgot about the KGP and stood up and the conversation moved on from there... He did seem to be open and understand it up to that point, admitting that he is a sinner. It was a really cool experience; sharing to a friend! God made it all happen and used me to do it which is such an honour! I pray for continued openness and more spiritual conversations!

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Day 135 (42|93) (13/05/19) Monday

The Mark Drama (a play of the Gospel of Mark), was so powerful and it brought the book to life! The acting was so good and it felt so real. Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane and seeing and hearing his anguish was so moving. I felt so convicted during the Pilate scene because I was with the crowd in choosing Barnabus and Jesus' crucifixion. And Jesus being flogged, hammered on the cross and hanging from it was honestly so hard to watch and hear, the moans of pain hit hard with me, realising the amount of suffering Jesus took because He loved us so much and He wanted us to be back with God.

Afterwards, while having food, I met Zayn who is exploring Christianity, and I felt really comfortable talking to him and we ended up talking about various things for over 3 hours and we only stopped because the library was closing! My heart felt so happy and full for the convo we had and the connection we made, praise God for making it all happen! I made a new friend today 😄

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Day 136 (42|94) (14/05/19) Tuesday

I am so torn on whether to still go to UniConnect or not. This feels like the hardest decision of my life. I don't know what to do. Please pray for me.

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Day 140 (42|98) (18/05/19) Saturday

Wow. Great are you lord. Holy, holy, holy! I have experienced and learned so much these past few days, and I know this description cannot do it justice. The RICE movement came to Christchurch for a short trip and I was so so excited, I've heard about them and I've seen videos of what they do, but yeah on Thursday and Friday there was worship and prayer and it was the first time I experienced true worship. God's spirit was moving powerfully in all of us, and I really did feel His presence. I lifted my hands up for the first time during worship and it felt so right. To me, it's as a sign of saying; God I surrender everything and I want to give everything to you. Closing my eyes and imagining God from the descriptions of Isaiah 6 and Revelation 4 fills me with such awe and wonder.  It was pretty amazing the timing of God, our church has been doing a series on Holiness and worship helped me to understand that a lot better. I laid down ALL my burdens, doubts (such as UniConnect), worries and sins before God, repented and it felt so good and liberating, and the worship got stronger! Everybody there are such faithful, God-fearing people and it was such a joy getting to know the people there, and also I recognised A LOT of people and I didn't realise that they were Christian! I've been praying for a wee while, 'I give my life to you God. Use me as you wish', and on Thursday Steve said that if anybody wanted to say that prayer, come to one of the people standing up (we were sitting down). I went to one of the guys, and I just broke down when telling him about how I've been praying this prayer for a bit, yet I still feel lost with my studies (Day 67) and wondering if I'm actually listening to God and therefore I'm questioning if this is where He wants me (Day 110). He prayed for me, and he realised that I was an engineer,  and he says that he thinks that God led me to him because he had was an engineer doing his master's thesis, and he wasn't sure what God wanted him to do so he prayed that 'if He [God] didn't want him to do engineering, close that door for him.' And God answered his prayer by preventing his thesis from being able to be completed, and now he is a pastor! Pray big and bold prayers, with faith! And today, God told me that I have not been expressing His love to one of my friends and I pray that I can see and talk to them one more time before they leave.

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Yeeeee well it's been a few days...  a lot has gone on and it's been quite the rollercoaster, not just this week but throughout this journal AHAHAHAHA. I should be writing but I haven't, mainly because I've been so busy and I know that it usually takes me half an hour to write a small entry and over an hour to write a large one because I try to structure it really nicely, but I should just freestyle it.

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