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About Sapuverell

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  • Birthday 05/24/2000

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  1. Day 22 gone to bed: 19.45 woke up: 06.35 Very happy with myself. I wrote down my thoughts about this good female friend and explained my situation. Now a wise women from church is gonna help me on that. That feels good and I think I start to find a way how to deal with problems instead of repress them behind a screen. "NoFap" is now nearly indomitable. I crave like never before, but at the same pushing myself to continue it. Need to do something to get other thoughts. Today I finished my tax return and I had a conversatio with my teacher about my graduation work. I'm grateful for: quiet sleep having everything done to kick of my graduation work and begin to read lectures and so on good physical health to a point where I think I can omitting my wheelchair forever To miss out my wheelchair is for me like a step into freedom and independence and it makees me feel great. For real now, I feel like a "normal" person now. Thanks to all the hours at the gym I am able to walk about 3 kilometers without a problem and this is something my doctors said wasn't possible for me. They said my illness is chronic and it only gets worse in that case. I proved them wrong💪
  2. Strong of you! Wouldn't be something if you could convince your girlfriend to quit video games as well. Then you would be together in this journey?
  3. I'm so sorry to hear that. I really hope you can build up a stable mindset to work from. Betrayal, anger and bitterness are probably our biggest enemies. Stay strong and look forward. Greetings
  4. Good stuff. I normally do this in bed when I cannot fall asleep. It really helps me to look forward and to calm down. I wouldn't set a timer on it, because there is not always the same amount to think about. Staay strong!
  5. Hello @The radtech Keep trying. I failed my first two attempts but now I have a good feeling about it. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Cheers!
  6. Day 21 gone to bed: 22.50 woke up: 07.05 My life is changing. I'm happy but at the same time truly sad. Full of energy but also tired. Motivated but always on the edge to give up. In believe to change everything, but then it seems that nothing reallly changes at all. It's strange. I'm grateful for: a feeling of freedom without my wheelchair being disciplined free time to watch a film and read my good work in school
  7. Day 20 gone to bed: 02.30 woke up: 07.05 Productive day. Did my homework, prepared for my last biology exam tomorrow and wrote an essay in english that came out pretty good in my opinion for actually no preparation. Due to my sleeptime I felt very tired and I had problems to concentrate. "NoFap" still very hard, but couldn't overcome myself to take cold showers yet. I'm grateful for: a 5.5 in an test about Dostojewski's Aufzeichnungen aus dem Kellerloch, which was pretty challanging to rad people from the church, who want to invite me for my birthday another day completed on my journey
  8. Day 19 gone to bed: 23.30 woke up: 09.00 I went to the church and it was good to talk with someone about my faith and my position. I had no thoughts about gaming the whole day. "NoFap" was hard, but I sticked to it. I slept a lot in the afternoon and now I do some homework for tomorrow. I'm grateful for: sleep calm lunch
  9. Day 18 gone to bed: 22.15 woke up: 07.50 I looked over my journal and I felt like I was posting everyday a new topic and new problems I had during the day. There's always something new that pops up in my life and I'm having a hard time to sort that all. But my intentions with this journal is not to have a book at the end. I just wanna share what happens to me in this moving and changing time. If someone is happy to read about it, or even takes it as an inspiration, it's even more than I would expect. Today was great. I'm super happy about the work I've done. I had urges to play games and also "NoFap" was incredibly hard, but I could resist. I called my friend and wished her a wonderful day, thatb was awesome. I also gave my mom my concept I wrote today, to give me some feedback about my coming graduation work. I went to the gym and I finally filled out my tax return. I'm grateful for: endurance, that made me work for 4hours straight rice and aubergines for lunch, one of my favorite dishes new exercises for my back at the gym the absolute best friend in the world, in my opinion good movies I can watch every week
  10. Day 17 gone to bed: 00.20 woke up: 06.20 Yesterday I accidentally fell asleep at 6 p.m. and then didn't wake up until midnight or so. But the day was pretty good. I went to the gym, school was fun and later on I met my old best friend and wwe talked for a while. It was interesting and I was super thankful, that I'm so stable in my life in terms of education. He sadly canceled two apprenticeships and is now searching for something new. In the afternoon there was a funeral at the local church, because a very young teen died recently. It was kinda sad to see all these people in mourning. I knew this boy a little, saw him twice or three times and he always had a smile on his face and couldn't hurt anyone. It made me think about death and my testament, that I want to change now, due to this experience. I noticed that without gaming I'm thinking a lot about things that happen in my environment. I like it, but it's also tiring and for me it always was difficult to switch off. That's why I went to bed at 6 p.m., just to stop thinking. I'm grateful for: health good education and further possibilities being rather disciplined, reliable, taking responsibility in my life and being good with others
  11. Day 16 gone to bed: 00.30 woke up: 07.35 Finished my report on the physics experiment. Also did organisational stuff. No thoughts about Gaming anymore, where "NoFap" is very challanging at the moment. But I wont fall into this until these 90 days are over. Today I feel very motivated to change everything in my life. I wanna be more productive, more attractive, passionate, informed, fit, enlightened and much more. I'm so happy to have made this decision to take on my habits and rewire my brain. What I have to pay more attention to is my sleep cycle, which wasn't that static in the past days. But it's way better since I got my new phone, that doesn't let me watch Youtube before sleeping. I do not even take it into bed. Yesterday I thought a lot about situations of the day, where I had an emotional reaction to and I couldn't calm down because of this. I'm thinking of meditating a bit more. Maybe that helps. I'm grateful for: feeling relaxed motivation and happiness due to progress second day, where I didn't use my wheelchair at all
  12. Day 15 gone to bed: 01.00 woke up: 07.00 I'm pretty happy about the way I worked in school. Felt productive and finished some stuff. Later at homme I found out, that for our report for a physics experiment is more complicated than expected and that I have to prepare a core question for my graduation work. It stressed me a lot, and still does. But no gaming and no masturbation, that's good. In terms of relationship, today nothing really happened. Im grateful for: a friend that helps me out with this report delicious lunch a day without my wheelchair, that I normally have in school (I felt confident enough to abandon him)
  13. Day 14 gone to bed: 23.00 woke up: 13.00 Good Day acomparred to the last two. Like @30_yrs_of_gaming said, I take day after day. Cleaned my room, so myself, did my homework, sorted some stuff on my desk and listened to music. I watched a documentary about the roaring twenties in America, since it's our topic in history. Then I played Golf with my friends. The experience was nice. I had literally no fun and so stopped after 30min. I will not restart my counter, because it was definitely not a relapse. In the evening I had a one and a half hour long phone call with my female friend and we cleared a lot about our relationship. About her feelings with that guy in our class and why we both don't feel that happy at the moment. What we want to do in the coming weeks and so on. All in all it was good for my soul and I think today I'll have no problem to fall asleep. I feel calm. I'm grateful for: feeling better finding no joy in gaming anymore (at least not today) doing my homework Thanks guys for supporting me, it helped me a lot.
  14. I can' tell where it comes from, but I can show you my motivation behind it. So for me it is a detox of porn and a try to rewire my sexuality to a more healthy and beneficial way. I wanna play the natural game and not an acted fanatasy like porn. Also I want to encourage myself to talk to girls and be wwilling to find a relationships that's worth it. If you constantly "relief" yourself it's unlikely that you'll go out and do the uncomfortable talks and picking up (Uuhh how much I hate this expression). Since I've started I've noticed that I was so used to, that I didn't know how it was without. First I had some problems and it was hard for me, but since 3-4 days there is no problem at all anymore. Hope that explains it a bit.
  15. Yeah! Today I took a day off. Slept very well and now go to the gym. I hope all this will be good soon. Thank you 😄
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