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zeke365

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About zeke365

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  1. I m sorry you relapsed but like others have said learn from it, successful people don't get famous quick but they fail a lot of times learning from their mistakes and making improvements to their products and themselves to see if it will be successful. Like for me I had to do learn a lot before I started making movies and I some my first movies are laughable at best but I m glad I did them because it helped to learn and when I joined another community they helped improve my craft as well and I always find ways to improve. You have to find your own way to improve yourself. You need to stop putting the strain on your body by putting too many projects in front of you and believe I tried before tried to schedule everything and did it a few weeks then relapsed. So lesson here focus on maybe 3 goals for the day at the most that way you don't stain your yourself. 1. Eat healthy for week 2.Week 2 Go exercise 3.week 3 project 1 Something like that does not go ambitious just small steps and build upon this. That the best advice I can give
  2. Days 12-15 My mother enjoyed the video I had here and it was a song she loved to. Now I have relapsed in a couple of bad habits in the last couple weeks not sure why but it did, not playing games but seems there seems to be more tension in me as I discover the root of another problem not sure what is. Though I have not played video games and it kind hard to get away animation when it everywhere and of late I have been watching documentureys and presentations of people not nessarily animated but like pictures of historians and figures well you call it relaspe or not have been relasping a little bit and but at the same I think it maybe too much on me and I should do it one or the other heck I even broke my own rule on youtube and that reason was becasuse I became so fansianted in the subject that I did not want to stop. I also learning that all this time I have been asking the wrong questions and not the right ones that why I never could get over small talk but there another major hurdle that I need to focus on and it stop to trying to reflect the conversation back to me, this something I have noticed me doing over and over all the time and it hard to break an old habit. It something I really need to work on and ask conversations about the other person than myself and don't reflect on to myself but dive deeper in getting to know the other person and listening to. So if any of you have advice I d be grateful for it. Plus today I started making a new video series and if everything goes as planned it either launch in June or July 2018, so be sure to look out for that. Grateful 1.God 2.Family 3.church 4.food 5.water 6.shealter 7.Car 8.Money 9.Life 10.Fresh air Have wonderful day
  3. Day 11 Yesterday and today I have had a burst of energy not sure where it coming from, but seems like I want to work on my projects more than ever before so that what I did today worked on some lines for my movie project and not another project as well. I m hoping to officially launch the youtube channel in July because I can release the movie project and new series that will be coming soon after that. I do not know how long this last so I m gonna do the best I can while I still have this burst of energy. For those interested in the movie project here a trailer of what it about That it for today have a wonderful day. Grateful: 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.House 5.Food 6.Water 7.Parents 8.Life 9.communities 10.Having a creative mind
  4. Day 10 Okay, I did figure out the problem but sort leaves me in dilemma as well. You see backed a game on Kickstarter back 2013 from gaming company called cyan worlds but it did not release till 2016 and because I backed that game I m getting all info of there original series Myst series game 25 anaversaity tempting yes but I did not want to fall back into the same trap as before even though this animated detox it still very relevant. Now I have 2 choices I can just let them keep sending me stuff or delete a permanent account on kickstarter that way they cant follow me. I have even checked on the Kickstarter website to see if I m following them and I m not, plus I checked my contacts their not in there either and so I m sort of dilemma of what I m suppose to do in this matter? That and I have been looking at the Kickstarter as of late which my bad before the detox and today, it mostly because I back their other game that I getting emails from them. So if anyone has a solution I'd be grateful though I think I may know what to do or need to do if I want to end it permanently, Side note: I have been considering getting a new blu player expensive but it would filter out all impropriate stuff in today's movies and leaves you will cleaner mouth it called clearplay, plus I kind misses buying physical items in stores rather than digital stuff now and days. There just something special about it. That it for today Grateful: 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.Life 5.Money 6.Shelather 7.Country 8.food 9.water
  5. Day 9 The last few nights I have been having some strange dreams and not sure if it's my mind realigning or a warning or something I m doing. What I have not been doing is watching gaming streams, VR gaming, vr stuff, adds I block if it is gaming on facebook or email. I m not researching tech stuff like cpu or gpu no cartoons anime or anything related though mind always seem to think of them. No youtube videos related either all I did watch maybe TV or smart TV and went to Crunchyroll to see if I could view j drama but then decided against because it would be too much temptation. I researched Japan missionary. and other stuff but all were live actions. So I m wondering if I m doing something that related to gaming or if it's my mind? The dream: I back in the online game that I use to play and notice an expansion in the game not very big but big enough to make a difference and I walk using my avatar each and every time on rocks of some extra area then I wake up. So the dream seems to think that I will return to gaming on some forums maybe it warning against doing reviews, I m just unsure because it's becoming more frequent. I walking around the neighborhood more, being outside more, working on projects, unless the software I use is trigger. Watching The Bible TV show at night, and reading a book. So if someone could give me a clue on what going on that be great cause I very confused right now and thought the gaming detox was bad this seems a lot worse than the gaming detox and maybe I just experiencing the tornado effect again but this time with anime and animation. I know my mind has craving for it and I have to take the necessary steps to emulate as musch as possible. The only exception I have is that manga cookbook could cause for a trigger and another program software to learn heck I do not have any games, on phone or pc ziltch not sure what is and some apps are in the cloud so I won't be tempted by them as well. I just want to know what going on did not do the gaming detox probability or is this on whole new level? That it for today have a wonderful day Grateful: 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.Shelatler 5.Food 6,.Water 7.Money 8.Car 9. Communities I m apart of 10.Life
  6. Instead of thinking negatively of yourself try to think positive thoughts like others say write down what you're grateful for. Think about the good you have done in the past how you may help people or making friends or the adventures you 've been on and just try to turn that frown upside down and smile you be you glad you did. (excuse the puns)
  7. Day 8 Today I worked more on mother day gift has become a priority over all things right now and it shaping up nicely. I did walk the neighborhood yesterday and took our dog for a walk as well last night. Also, I have been resting outside instead of inside after I get off work I will read a couple forums here and news then I will start a project around 4:00 pm then finish by 5:30 pm That it for today have a wonderful day Grateful: 1.Home 2.God 3.Church 4.Family 5.Food 6.Water 7.Car 8.Job 9.Life 10.Money
  8. good to know you have relaxed time JustTom I would recommend rereading your journal as you go along to see where you came from and where you're going, I've had to do it a couple of times myself just inspire myself again.
  9. Day 7 I survived a week without any animation which is quite impressive. So let's keep it going. So today I worked more on mother day gift and have been making original ideas for mother day past few years to make it personal rather than buying something. The second thing I have been doing is reading and right now I m reading a book called Dark with mortal eyes by Eric Wilson and just starting to get back in the habit of reading again. I have plenty of books and audiobooks have not listened to yet some I m excited to get there. Plus I planted sunflowers Saturday there the color ones where they grow 5-6 feet or 4-5 feet and am spending more and more time outside if not for exercise but to read to get myself more conferrable being outside and have been doing this the last few weeks also drinking tea helps but I do not put sugar, stevia, or creamer in tea I just drink it straight cant do that with coffee, Yesterday I wanted to estimate how many miles were the shopping districts were and one of them is where I worked and estimated about 2,9 miles but that me going to one end to the other so may be less than that. The total of yesterday was 3.9 miles and my feet were hurting. For those who do not know I invented a game where the rule is I have to walk the whole shopping district and see all the stores but cant go in any of them until I walk back then I can walk in any store that looked interesting. This to make myself aware of stores and restaurants around me so if I would be to someone around I would know few places and another reason for it is because I liked looking at shops around other towns so I was like why not try it where I live and with be warm enough. Plus it kills two birds with one stone I get the exercise I need and the item d I need as well at the same time. I m study some more Japanese and then take an evening walk around the neighborhood as well. Also, I m trying my best to keep pc from around 4-8: 00 pm which is quite a reduction when I did it from 10:00am-12: 00 am (before gaming detox). I'm also finding less time the better and for some odd reason keeps my focus better. Plus I watch the Bible tv series from 8:30-9:15 r 30 pm if it longer then read for 30min and try to go bed lights out around 10:00 pm. Not always lucky but that what I have been doing. 1.PC (projects) 4-5:30 2. Walk 6:30-7:00 3.water plants 7;00pm 4.PC off at 8:00 pm 5.Bible TV show 8:30-9:15 or 30pm 6.Read 9:15-10:00pm 30min 7. Lights out at 10:00pm That give more of a clear picture and that it fort today have a wonderful day. Grateful 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.Shelater 5.Water 6.Food 7.Car 8.Money 9.Job 10.Life
  10. Day 5-6 I m starting to see puzzle pieces fall into place and where I m supposed to go which strange and fun at the same time. So I started looking back on what I was doing and a lot of is preparation because like before I would really like to visit Japan and experience its culture, besides I look a little Asian myself even though American, I have gotten compliments of being Chinese. It all me being prepared to go in the future though I did unconsciousness without realizing it. So I have been thinking of missionary trip with a church over there would be a great experience. I know it belongs road but be totally worth it, but like I said everything I m doing is based on building blocks and the ideas keep coming for youtube and others and I need to get a lot of work done to get done in time so basically an outline of what is. Also, I have added to what I have been doing so on days I work I will be doing an evening walk around the neighborhood and days I m off I will go to the gym or walk twice to get some exercise in and this was the best solution so it did not interfere with my other projects. ' So far so good today though I did watch a presentation with painting at one point whether you count that or not is up to you and I might try watching some Japanese dramas always been kind of curious about them. Also will try to do an event this weekend as well. Plus I walked today a total of 3.8 miles but techily I walked 2.9 miles where I live just doing windowing shopping and seeing if there new places to check out. That it for today have a wonderful day Grateful: 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.Bible 5.Life
  11. Hello JustTom Just read all your journal post and it is inspiring, and I like how you have everything scheduled out but I do have a few concerns based on what I read. For one I see you limited any distractions which I Comden you for but I see a few drawbacks to this as well. Here why your teaching your brain that there is no reward system that everything is hard work and nothing more than that. This I see is kind of mistake because if you relapse you feel guilty based on your own goals right but I think your brain and body is telling you I cant do all this work with no play. You need a day of rest to get away from all your projects and be inspired by other people and if you don't you will find yourself burned out. Which brings me to my next point is stop trying to do too much at once and trying to move forward to quickly because if you do you find your self-checking off everything in your list and missing precious moments in life because you focus on the next thing to get somewhere. Everything takes times and you need to build blocks of quality not quantity Thirdly I can see frustration and stress in your journal and it almost like you have replaced gaming stymili with getting as many activities done in 1 day which something I think you need to slow down and think for a moment, What is the one you want to do the most now and start building blocks to get there then add more on top of that. I hope this helps your emotions will subside after the tornado effect has left.
  12. Day 4 Today I read some journals here which is inspiring and I worked some on mothers day gift. So for those who have not followed my journey here a link which help explain why I m doing this detox Last night I had a dream in which I was I holding a plastic figure of plankton from Spongebob Squarepants and was frustrated at for getting into trouble for some odd reason. I was in my room of course and put him in the amawire and put cars (Hotwheels and mashbox cars) around it to keep him from coming out though did not get all around with darkness surrounding it, next thing I heard was my parents yelling at me to get some paperwork done but I was so focused on getting this figure to stay put that I was irritable and quite a mean person. Eventually, they left without me and I have stuck alone and regretted staying home when I could have gone with them instead of procreating. Then I woke up. Kind of strange dream I know but to answer your question JustTom I did this detox so I could eliminate what I thought was distracting for me and that anime is directly tied to my gaming addiction as well. Plus I had tried to limited to weekends and just was not working and I could find no one to talk to about this stuff. So that my reasoning for it but I still believe in some reward system so I do fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays or weekends will be youtube and some other research I m free to to but am limited to live action tv shows, movies only and live action youtube as well. This did not occur to me till the other day that buying doing this live action tv show, and movies that I would be able to have a conversation and understand what tv show or movie they are talking about. Which is kind of neat now that I think about it. Finally I m actually seeing a strategy where to take my life and I can not believe I did not see it before but the way it looks like this going to work is that my movie project will be released in July then I will try to follow up with series based on my blogs or vlog series on and start building on that so I m quite excited about that. I think that it for today have a wonderful day. Grateful 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.Grandparents 5.Life 6.Our dog 7.communities I m apart of to many to count
  13. Thanks for reading Dannigan it very encouraging knowing someone is inspired by reading these journals. Day 3 So Yesterday I had a strong craving for anime and animated stuff but I resisted and accepted the fact that I was having one. So this detox is going to be another tornado effect and I see it coming if I m already getting cravings this early on. So this means after 90 days I will be in a position much better than I m now and hopefully focus on real people and tangible goals. The second thing I wanted to discuss is I m kind of doing something new, instead of consuming a lot of stuff I started to making reviews of products I had, and I did 3 reviews before deciding to do this detox. I kind of enjoyable to write a review and then share with the world and a lot of people have said I have a gift of writing before so its something new I m trying out. This was originally for anime reviews, comics, and other faith-based stuff. The third reason I started this detox is that I would have relapsed with vr app I was looking that came out this month so I decided to do this fast to prevent temptation. So that it for today just thought share what I have been doing and my goals are still in place and I feel more focused now to do them. Let's see how this weekend goes. Grateful: 1.God 2.Church 3.Family 4.New social groups 5.Achieving some goal plans 6.Life 7.Grandparents
  14. Day 2 The second day of my animated detox and I feeling great about but I m more concerned about how this weekend will play out. Few changes I have made to my original routine 1.Focus on mother day gift 2.Movie project 3.Japanese food cookbook 4.Learn Japanese AS of right, my movie projects are what taking priority and so that what I will focus on from here on out. Today I went to gym listen to faith-based stuff and that was fun and have dropped out of bible study I was going to new one that closer to me and has people more my age and lessons I learned from my previous one plus a new event in meetup and Eventbrite showed up so I will be trying to go to that event as well. So doors are opening and all I had to do was close another, plus I feel more energized to work on my own projects now more than ever rather a random browsing and will be coming off keto to do those recipes in the book. Another reason for the detox is now I will see people as they are rather than having animated version of what the person should be. So that it for today Grateful: God Church New social group family Life
  15. Day 1 This day of one of my animated detox which is no animated movies, cartoons, comics, anime, manga, magazines, etc. for 90 days. So Why am I doing this you may ask? Well, its because after doing some reviewing over the last few months and freeing myself from gaming addiction I noticed that I was consuming and not creating and not really going anywhere in my life. So let's start from the beginning it was not till pokemon that came out on TV in the 90s that I became so deeply engrossed with buying the very product and when I got Gameboy color it was downhill from there and I had everything, plus I use to watch a lot of cartoons on TV as well. So as I grew older the more obsessed became having anything related to Pokemon or Digimon and I did not like my parents watching these shows with me either. So I kept doing into one day my parents hid the stuff away from me to focus on school. I was miserable and to do this I use to have hullanations of seeing actual pokemon and doing some crazy things. Then in 2003 I got saved under production called The Messiah at one my church and baptized that year and decided, none my parents made this decision for me but I made it myself so I decided to burn everything related to Pokemon and Digimon to crips because I did not want anyone to go through what I went through. So I watched many cartoons and movies on tv and theaters at times mostly because they are about clean as you get without getting foul lang. So I cont, this till about 2005 where I discovered youtube and watch cartoons online where I could revisit my old shows and watch new ones. So I started watching old shows back when high-speed internet was not a thing yet. It was not until 2005 that I reintroduced anime in my life, the first one I saw D.N. Angel for some more mature anime but never going beyond a pg 13 limit. So I started a routine on sat, from 2:00-4: 00 pm where I watch 4 animes at times for quite awhile and eventually moved to night hoping to recapture my childhood a little bit. In 2015 I discovered visual novels in which I could interact with these anime characters I had fallen for and most everything around me was not real, I thought those character more real than a real person. Then in 2017 during the gaming detox, I started to keep this up bumping 4 shows to 9 shows almost and that about as much as I can handle then bumped to 7 shows. And keep doing it until I realized I was not accomplishing anything and I was relapsing in internet browsing and as at the time I was looking to get a VR headset so I could engage in this anime characters even further. So, in conclusion, I decided to do a 90-day detox all things animated and did not realize how addicted I was until I started deleting all my cartoon subscriptions which were either anime based or cartoon based and never really focused on real life. So what are my plans for this detox 1.The Bible TV show 2..Work on mother day gift 3.Get web series going 4.Release My movie project in July So Basically making an exception to the rule to have the Bible TV show and this something I had planned from the begging of this year because faith-based stuff encourages me so that why and originally it was going to be till July but I moved it forward. So what can I watch well any live action movie, tv show, or youtube video but outside that I cant watch anything else and this very restive of me so it not like I m trading one for another, and another reason for it is because it change my focus on what real people are rather than cartoons and anime are. So I decided social connection without realizing it and so that Why I have started this detox today to get rid of this layer, These will be an exception to the rule but 1.Manga cookbook (for making recipes) 2.animation software (my own creations) 3.facbook group 4.sctrach (learn to code) Grateful: Family Life God Church pc our dog That it has a wonderful day