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BooksandTrees
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On 8/15/2021 at 6:59 PM, Amphibian220 said:

So how is it going? Have you started job searching?

Depressed at current job even though it would be better if I completed my project this week. I had 1 interview that went well and applied for another. We'll see. I just haven't been happy or felt purposeful at my current job. 

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Ok. When the going is tough, actions however small are important in this situation.

I think difficult times present us with an opportunity of instituting changes, seeing something that we have always overlooked because we were too preoccupied.

Its a strange part of (complacent) nature that in the absence of difficulty, people assume that their trajectory is leading them to success.

I want to act in a better way, today and now without any prompt of an external event.

 

 

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I feel better this weekend. I'll be studying tonight and tomorrow and spending time with my girlfriend. Should be good. I bought an exercise bike and I did a lot of socializing this week which helped me feel better. I'm 144 weeks from gaming as well. 

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I have quit my old job and got a new one. I have been so depressed at my current job that I just sleep after work or do nothing. I have no desire to do anything and I'm already on anti depressants etc. I've gained almost 45 lbs and I just have nothing in the tank. My girlfriend, family, and friends have all noticed I've been depressed and made comments about how they're concerned.

I spoke with my doctor and therapist and decided to get a new job. I instantly feel better. I feel like I have hope again. I feel like I appreciate my career again. I get treated so much better and feel so much happier. I'm sleeping at night again and feeling better overall. I got an incredible bump in pay and stand to get another if I pass this test, which is motivating as well.

I bought an exercise bike and am happy to use it. My girlfriend was very supportive of me quitting and I appreciate it very much.

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I had a slower start today but I'm treating myself a bit. I took today off, cleaned my house, ate fewer calories than yesterday morning, and am getting a massage soon. I plan on studying today after the massage and relaxing a bit afterwards.

Important Note: I don't want any exercise of diet advice from anyone. I have lost weight before. This has strictly been due to depression.

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Today I'm 148 weeks free from gaming. Something I've decided as of last night is that I think too much. Whether it's rumination, day dreaming, or just planning ahead, I'm constantly thinking and it's causing me to stop doing things. I believe it's a greater form of escapism.

This morning I decided to wake up and not think about being tired. I went downstairs and exercised, ate breakfast, cleaned, and sat outside to relax and just observe nature. I then went up and am writing this post. I'll study now and not think about fear of failing or excitement of passing. I will study because I have to study and there's nothing more and nothing less. 

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11 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I'm constantly thinking and it's causing me to stop doing things. I believe it's a greater form of escapism.

I completely relate! For me, the issue is not so much escapism as being unable to focus on what I am doing/being against my own will. Constantly thinking has led me to be unable to enjoy my favorite activities and hobbies, as I could not get my mind to relax and stop processing everything around me. 

Do you have any tips on solving this issue? I'm very curious to hear how you are/will be dealing with this.

Po

 

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On 8/28/2021 at 10:08 PM, Pochatok said:

Do you have any tips on solving this issue? I'm very curious to hear how you are/will be dealing with this.

I think it's just recognizing you're doing it and telling yourself to stop. It needs to be a simple process you believe in so you don't feel like it's work. 

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My mom almost died this past weekend. That, plus my friend committing suicide, studying, and working has just been exhausting.

I'm very happy to have some time off soon. I just gotta get through tomorrow. 

I think I'm just going to simplify my life a bit. I'll do studying, exercise, animation, and nothing. I've given up on writing and other crap. I got too many ideas and alienated my original ideas. 

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16 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

My mom almost died this past weekend. That, plus my friend committing suicide, studying, and working has just been exhausting.

Hey, I'm very sorry to hear that! Sometimes, it feels like all the bad things that can happen choose to appear at the same time. I hope that next week will give you some relief. Are you receiving any professional support for your mental health?

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1 hour ago, Pochatok said:

Hey, I'm very sorry to hear that! Sometimes, it feels like all the bad things that can happen choose to appear at the same time. I hope that next week will give you some relief. Are you receiving any professional support for your mental health?

Thanks. Yes, I see a psychiatrist, psychologist, and am on medication and spoke to them about it so I'm in good hands. 

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22 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

My mom almost died this past weekend. That, plus my friend committing suicide, studying, and working has just been exhausting.

I'm very happy to have some time off soon. I just gotta get through tomorrow. 

I think I'm just going to simplify my life a bit. I'll do studying, exercise, animation, and nothing. I've given up on writing and other crap. I got too many ideas and alienated my original ideas. 

I am so sorry about your friend. That must be really painful. 
 

Is your mom ok now?

 

Sending love and support friend. 

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10 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I am so sorry about your friend. That must be really painful. 
 

Is your mom ok now?

 

Sending love and support friend. 

Thank you. It's honestly a reminder to not give up and keep trying no matter how hard it is to get better. 

 

She's ok but won't listen to diet advice so her blood sugar keeps going up to almost 500 which is extremely dangerous. I honestly have to detach myself from the situation because she keeps eating junk and it's going to kill her. I don't have control of what she eats so I can't worry about it. I did my best to help and I can't commit to the unwilling. 

I will do my best to recover though and get through my depression and eat better to continue to lose weight. 

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Today I'm 149 weeks free from gaming. I studied for 7 hours today and meal prepped. I rode the bike for only 10 minutes after exercising and feel a lot better and less burnt out. I think exercise and diet really improves my cognitive abilities. 

I'll relax tonight and do 8 more hours tomorrow of study and maybe 20 minutes of exercise. I'm down to 190 lbs from 196. It's sad that I was 160 last year but that's depression and stuff. Getting back on track though. 

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23 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Thank you. It's honestly a reminder to not give up and keep trying no matter how hard it is to get better. 

Great props to you for being strong and working on yourself despite tragedy. Keep going!

23 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

She's ok but won't listen to diet advice so her blood sugar keeps going up to almost 500 which is extremely dangerous. I honestly have to detach myself from the situation because she keeps eating junk and it's going to kill her. I don't have control of what she eats so I can't worry about it. I did my best to help and I can't commit to the unwilling. 

I agree. Willingly detaching and not participating is tough and unpopular, but I think the best way is to just wait if your mom decides to seek help with her problems on her own, just as nobody pushed me or you into joining GQ.

A friend of my father has a son who used to game all day and didn't do anything else. He and his wife decided to kick their son out of the flat, so that he could get a job and start functioning properly. There was no telling what would happen (i.e. he could have turned into a homeless junkie), but in the end it turned out well, because he got a job and was able to take care of himself.

11 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I'll relax tonight and do 8 more hours tomorrow of study and maybe 20 minutes of exercise. I'm down to 190 lbs from 196. It's sad that I was 160 last year but that's depression and stuff. Getting back on track though. 

Good work! The body and mind work together, so I am glad you can already see improvements.

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This week is 150 weeks free from gaming. I'm also 2 weeks free from porn and am going to commit very seriously to this. I never had a girlfriend before until this year and I'm noticing truths about how porn is bad for you with real life intimacy. It has made me ashamed. I'm committed to quitting now not just for me but for my partner too.

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