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Mettermrck

Bob's Journey

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@Hitaru.Absolutely right, I can't go back. I do have goals and timetables that I drew up after reading The Slight Edge and listening to Cam talk about having a vision. I need to keep reviewing those every day and stick with them.

Day 82/90 Tired right now. Sunday is the day I up the intensity on the treadmill at the gym so I tired myself out nicely. But it's a very good feeling and I love it.

    I feel like I've escaped the rabbit hole trap of considering gaming. Even just the thought of it opened the floodgates to all the old feelings, good and bad. Much of it was bad. Things like recreating a Steam wish list, budgeting money to buy games, installing, modding, time limits. It was exhausting just thinking about it!

     Then there's one of my friends who games. And yesterday he mentions being up to 5am with his wife and some of their close online friends playing Overwatch. Is that what I want? No. I don't begrudge him what he has and I think it's great he has a gaming wife and friends. But he's also mentioned being frustrated with being sedentary, him and his wife being lazy, putting on weight, and being tired. That is definitely not what I want.

      I was never a multiplayer person. But I was easily sedentary, lazy, overweight, and tired as a single player gamer. And those are the things I'm fighting against now at the gym and in what I eat.

   So nope, not going to give in. Not going to...turn back time....*glances at @giblets* ?

Gratitude

1. A gym to get exhausted at

2. Friends to encourage me and provide support

3. My job

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Day 80/90.

 don't know anyone who can turn back time, so I think it's best that you just own your present and enjoy it fully.

Cher's video

xDxDxD LMAO, bro

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Bob, awesome news!

I hope feel good about your fitness progress. I recently started liking what I see in the mirror way more than that of a month ago. How's it going for you?

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Uhoh, somebody's in trouble better watch out!

But, its good that your fighting those feelings when your so close Mettermrck, just remember what you've learned from your experiences compared to others. Day 82!

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Just a heads up, all, my next couple of weeks will be busy in the evenings as I help with some family issues so while I will be continuing my journal, I might not be able to post on other journals as much as I'd like. So don't get worried or bothered if I miss your journal. I'm still chugging along! ?

Day 83/90 We're being scraped by tropical weather here at the beach so it's a gloomy day of weather. I had to postpone my appt with my counselor as a result. I understand but I hate to miss it. I like being able to talk with my counselor. Next week, hopefully.

Gaming cravings have declined. Maybe they've given up for now after I resisted them but I'll need to be strong going into my last week. 

I've started converting my meditation times into short peaceful walks outside. I've noticed that I respond better when I'm moving and when I'm outdoors versus a traditional sitting meditation. It helps get me away from being cooped up inside and helps me clear my head. I don't walk fast and I don't work up a sweat. It's just a relaxing walk.

Gratitude

1. Going to the gym as always

2. Nice peaceful walks

3. A good job

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Uhoh, somebody's in trouble better watch out!

But, its good that your fighting those feelings when your so close Mettermrck, just remember what you've learned from your experiences compared to others. Day 82!

Day 83, keep up the fitness!

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I've started converting my meditation times into short peaceful walks outside. I've noticed that I respond better when I'm moving and when I'm outdoors versus a traditional sitting meditation. It helps get me away from being cooped up inside and helps me clear my head. I don't walk fast and I don't work up a sweat. It's just a relaxing walk.

 

I heard many people usually got great ideas or inventions while walking. 

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Day 84/90. Still dealing with family stuff. My uncle isn't doing too well so I may have to travel. I need to reach out and visit my family more, not just in the bad times. That's actually one of the life goals I have laid out for myself, for better relationships.

It's strange that as I approach the 90 days, I don't feel any real sense of triumph or accomplishment. Rather, I feel cautious in the knowledge that this is just the beginning. I don't collect a prize and go home. I do gain valuable insights but I have to put them to use. I've noticed in the journals of other long time detoxers, notably @giblets and @Moe Smith, that their struggles haven't truly ended either. Will it be a lifetime of eternal vigilance? Of moving on to other stuff so good that you don't spare a thought for gaming anymore?

It's something I've been pondering as I get closer to 90.

Gratitude

1. Glad to have a job to give me means and opportunities

2. Family, even in tough times I'm not alone

3. Hope for the future

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I yam what I yam!

I think everyone has their vices @Mettermrck, we have just become aware of ours through the detox process rather than a struggle. I am aware I naturally love to do activities for instant gratification rather than productive ones that will pay dividends in the future. I'm addicted on the rush of personal development now and that's the new feedback loop for me - very similar to you and the gains you are seeing in the gym. The happiness that you get from seeing those improvements makes you realise, why would I want to do anything that does not contribute to this process? Gaming does not contribute. In any way, shape or form.

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Thanks @giblets. I believe it. My vices seem to be instant gratification....soda/fast food, gaming, porn. All three were giving me quick fixes of dopamine. I once told my therapist that gaming was like a sporadic rifle fire of dopamine...soda/fast food was heavy artillery....and porn was the atom bomb. ?

Day 85/90. Whew the treadmill kicked my butt today. It felt great but maybe I'm finally catching up to my body in intensity. I love it though. Never stop!

       Not much else going on. I'm still waiting to see what happens with the family and my uncle. I'm listening to that podcast giblets posted and I'm glad I did. I think had forgotten how much gaming could kill my productivity and kill my motivation to do anything...work or spend time with others.

I'd jokingly refer to gaming as the "junior" addiction in my trifecta and in some sense it wasn't as powerful and destructive as the porn and food/soda. But I shouldn't kid myself. It had a power all its own.

Gratitude

1. The gym and feeling pleasantly tired

2. Still buying smaller clothes

3. Working on my project

       

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It's strange that as I approach the 90 days, I don't feel any real sense of triumph or accomplishment. Rather, I feel cautious in the knowledge that this is just the beginning. I don't collect a prize and go home. I do gain valuable insights but I have to put them to use. I've noticed in the journals of other long time detoxers, notably @giblets and @Moe Smith, that their struggles haven't truly ended either. Will it be a lifetime of eternal vigilance? Of moving on to other stuff so good that you don't spare a thought for gaming anymore?

It's something I've been pondering as I get closer to 90.

@Mettermrck

I think this is related to the following quotes "addiction can be managed not cured" and "1 day at a time".
I believe this is the reason Cam usually says "Try the 90 days detox, see what happens". However Cam doesn't say "Try the 90 days detox and get cured!", maybe this is the reason.

Looking at those who are beyond 90 days detox you can see they are always busy, busy, busy. Maybe the detox is just the beginning of a new journey, where we will do the sames things that we used to do in videogames. Things like socializing, mastering our craft and competing,  but with a healthy approach. Perhaps trying to improve the common good?

Maybe is not one or another, but both, as they may complement each other, the eternal vigilance while moving on to better things in life.

Would love to read any input from 90 days+ detox members.

*Maybe you don't feel proud but you should think of yourself as a proud man. You challenged yourself to 90 days detox and you are following through. You are proving you have the will to accomplish anything you aim for.
 



 

Edited by Daniel

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@Daniel There are members who went through the detox and reported they weren't feeling fine or their feelings of depression increased. There were others who almost immediately relapsed, and others relapsed way after, 6, 8, 11 months or more after quitting (Cam himself has told how he relapsed heavily 11 months after quitting). And of course there were people who realized they weren't addicted, only procrastinating a specific aspect of their lives which they addressed during the detox, such as exams or relationships, then moved on to play again in moderation. Each person is a world. 

The common factor about relapsing after 90 days is overzealousness (that... is not really a word, right?) in the idea of the detox. The detox is a good example of a SMART goal, it settles smoothly in the mind. When people quit many find themselves doing new or delayed things almost by inertia and boredom, but this is not always the case. People who obsess over "reaching 90" rather than setting themselves up for success during those three months find themselves lost once they don't have the motivation of a deadline anymore.

90 days is the rewiring process. Then you should want to start driving the car once it's fixed, right? It's a beginning. Same as a car, the brain requires to be watchful, and sometimes it will make a strange sound or you'll have to step aside and reflect but that shouldn't be a problem. Self-awareness is routine maintenance of a life well lived.

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Day 86/90. Typing this with "jello arms" as I finished my weights workout. It's such a feeling of "tired pride" for being exhausted in a good cause hehe. 

I've noticed that I don't respond well to a cluttered schedule, even with good things. When I first started the detox and quit soda gaming and porn, it was like waving my arm and knocking everything off the table. It felt boring but it was also simple and I could breathe.

As I continued and read books and listened to advice, I started adding books to my list, adding rituals like affirmations and meditation, and slowly increasing the size of my daily tasklist. Somehow, when my brain sees a steady schedule with very little free time, time between tasks, and flexibility, it feels stifled and flustered and suddenly I need to declutter my schedule.

I'm learning more about myself in this process. I can't overdo everything. I need to learn to say no to others' suggestions, to say "good idea but what I'm doing works for me." I need to take someone's book recommendation as just that...a suggestion and not a command. This is just my OCD personality and I need to be aware of it.

Gratitude

1. Always going to the gym

2. Friends to lean on

3. Learning more about myself and how I think

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@Daniel There are members who went through the detox and reported they weren't feeling fine or their feelings of depression increased. There were others who almost immediately relapsed, and others relapsed way after, 6, 8, 11 months or more after quitting (Cam himself has told how he relapsed heavily 11 months after quitting). And of course there were people who realized they weren't addicted, only procrastinating a specific aspect of their lives which they addressed during the detox, such as exams or relationships, then moved on to play again in moderation. Each person is a world. 

The common factor about relapsing after 90 days is overzealousness (that... is not really a word, right?) in the idea of the detox. The detox is a good example of a SMART goal, it settles smoothly in the mind. When people quit many find themselves doing new or delayed things almost by inertia and boredom, but this is not always the case. People who obsess over "reaching 90" rather than setting themselves up for success during those three months find themselves lost once they don't have the motivation of a deadline anymore.

90 days is the rewiring process. Then you should want to start driving the car once it's fixed, right? It's a beginning. Same as a car, the brain requires to be watchful, and sometimes it will make a strange sound or you'll have to step aside and reflect but that shouldn't be a problem. Self-awareness is routine maintenance of a life well lived.

Super wise comment!

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Looks like you're being steady. Is you "tired pride" also a "runner's high", I wonder? 

Agree, endorphines play a great part in keeping fit.

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I'm learning more about myself in this process. I can't overdo everything. I need to learn to say no to others' suggestions, to say "good idea but what I'm doing works for me." I need to take someone's book recommendation as just that...a suggestion and not a command. This is just my OCD personality and I need to be aware of it.

Awesome insight, Bob. I should learn from you.

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I'm learning more about myself in this process. I can't overdo everything. I need to learn to say no to others' suggestions, to say "good idea but what I'm doing works for me." I need to take someone's book recommendation as just that...a suggestion and not a command. This is just my OCD personality and I need to be aware of it.

Awesome insight, Bob. I should learn from you.

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Day 87/90. Counting down...it's interesting that I'll finish up the detox on Labor Day weekend. Three day weekends used to be an ideal time for game binging. 

@HappyCat, I researched "musterbation" and that is spot on for me. I put a lot of "shoulds" on myself and feel like I don't measure up. That's why I do positive affirmation, I think, to counteract that.

I bought a smaller pair of shorts today and a new belt, throwing out the old. Since I started this process in the beginning of June, I have almost completely replaced my wardrobe save for a few t-shirts and collar shirts. It's a good feeling.

Gratitude

1. Looking forward to a sense of accomplishment in completing the 90 days.

2. Saving money with not eating out and buying games.

3. Smaller clothing!

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Day 87/90. Counting down...it's interesting that I'll finish up the detox on Labor Day weekend. Three day weekends used to be an ideal time for game binging. 

@HappyCat, I researched "musterbation" and that is spot on for me. I put a lot of "shoulds" on myself and feel like I don't measure up. That's why I do positive affirmation, I think, to counteract that.

I bought a smaller pair of shorts today and a new belt, throwing out the old. Since I started this process in the beginning of June, I have almost completely replaced my wardrobe save for a few t-shirts and collar shirts. It's a good feeling.

Gratitude

1. Looking forward to a sense of accomplishment in completing the 90 days.

2. Saving money with not eating out and buying games.

3. Smaller clothing!

Day 87!!!! I need more t-shirts and gym shorts, everything feels like a kid outfit one size to small

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Day 87/90. Counting down...it's interesting that I'll finish up the detox on Labor Day weekend. Three day weekends used to be an ideal time for game binging. 

@HappyCat, I researched "musterbation" and that is spot on for me. I put a lot of "shoulds" on myself and feel like I don't measure up. That's why I do positive affirmation, I think, to counteract that.

I bought a smaller pair of shorts today and a new belt, throwing out the old. Since I started this process in the beginning of June, I have almost completely replaced my wardrobe save for a few t-shirts and collar shirts. It's a good feeling.

Gratitude

1. Looking forward to a sense of accomplishment in completing the 90 days.

2. Saving money with not eating out and buying games.

3. Smaller clothing!

Could you throw a figure of how much money have you saved in games+food+soda during the detox?

Counting down indeed man, it's gonna be epic.

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I bought a smaller pair of shorts today and a new belt, throwing out the old. Since I started this process in the beginning of June, I have almost completely replaced my wardrobe save for a few t-shirts and collar shirts. It's a good feeling.

It's a super pleasant feeling when your clothing "outgrows" you xD, isn't it?

Bro, you're awesome, keep at it!

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