wheatbiscuit Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 3 hours ago, Yan said: If i understand correctly in the first paragraph you're saying you came to the forum this day as a result of glancing onÑ video games? Do not know what you mean when you say "Something similar taking place". The second paragraph, you reference "click and examine" in an offline world. I have no clue what you mean, also do you mean you would react otherwise than as a child to this process, meaning you would be more under control? The third paragraph, are you saying you achieved more through "moderate" gaming than abstinence? fourth paragraph should need to game moderately you mean, does not have to be so for everyone? fifth paragraph You mean it's hard to start looking at yourself as either one opposite or the other and start seeing something in the middle? Hey, happy weekend. Yeah, glancing away from a gaming window in an effort to take things in word by word. Well, clicking and examining is almost what my eyes do because of extensive play. Edit: Also yes, reactionary thinking and feeling have been problems in the past. On the other hand, I actually meant abstinence let me achieve more, but that combined with medication I was pretty sad and upset (not withdrawal; it's sometimes my natural state). Second lastly, that was indeed confessing a need for less-tangible play with technology. I also wanted to say how most people deserve better than having gaming needs appear. The last part was a bit of a dig in your direction, I apologise. Basically, I envy those who can let go of major hobbies/routines and remain at peace. Cheers for getting straight to breaking down posts properly, I would especially understand directness coming from deciding what habits to develop in the near future. Edited January 18 by wheatbiscuit forgot 1
Yan Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 Entry 17.1 (Written on 18.1) Day 2: No Useless Videos Day 834: Sticking to Food schedule Day 437: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 7: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning workout -5 pomodoros -Evening routine right after dinner 1 Thing I could do better -Despite "Fullness" Push through with 1 more pomodoro at least Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 4
Ikar Posted January 18 Posted January 18 10 hours ago, Yan said: What do you mean by things you do randomly and haphazardly? In the order that I do them, because my work hours are not regular and I mostly have free time around mid-day and late evening only, plus the weekends are up to me. I just think I could be more efficient/effective with the remainder of my time to get more things done. It's in my hands to change that though, if I feel like I'm getting too little done. 10 hours ago, Yan said: I actually think that what Amphibian is saying in other words is "We shouldn't count the days because it sets the bar too high" "Better not set such a high bar to avoid failing" which in my book is the equivalent, of "Better not start, because then you may fail and have your expectations shattered". I might be misinterpreting though. I counter to that. Life is a fight and it will remain so, no matter what we tell ourselves. Again, the best way i found to reduce the need for willpower is when i continuously perform an activity and make it a part of my identity, which means, no slips here and there. Because once I do it brings up all the strong hormones and urges to play like an alcoholic. Which overpower us. I said that previously but it's worth repeating. Perhaps I misunderstood @Amphibian220 too. To add a little bit of my experience, I've never really used the "day counter" to measure progress, except the first 90 days. Then again, on my 90th day, I was in Iceland for the first (and so far last) time, working a full-time job. I really had no time to think about anything. I think it's OK to have a routine that helps you stay grounded. It's just that I don't think consciously reminding myself of not gaming every day for the rest of my life would work for me. It might work for you though. I don't need that "negative" motivational push from the horrors of my gaming past, because I've already changed just about everything since then. I have a job I love. I have a girlfriend I love. I have friends and some hobbies. My relationships with family are better. I didn't have any of that when I gamed and I identify with my gaming-self very little today, if at all. 11 hours ago, Yan said: Cam Adair recently posted a video on YouTube "I Survived 5,364 Days Without Video Games... Here's What Happened." Why is it not an identity to keep forever? Because it's "too hard"? To be honest it seems a little like you fell and started giving yourself excuses why it's okay to stay down. I agree that if you've stacked up 1000's of days of non-gaming, and slipped for gaming binge for a few days, it doesn't mean you will go back for a very long period. But that is largely due to the vast time you've been going without it. And every one day you play still increases the chance of another one, because most of us also have a significant amount of days we did play, which set some hormone triggers in our brains. And even if not, games are built to make us tap into them. For the above stated reasons, i strongly believe we shouldn't touch games Yes, it's a good name for a YouTube video. Seeing 5364 days without games is impressive, especially if somebody is deep in the addiction. It might spark curiosity in the person and get them to click on the video. I quit gaming 2099 days ago. Does that mean Cam is 2,555x (5364/2099) more successful than me? No, it's just a random number that looks impressive. Cam is literally somebody who focuses his business around quitting compulsive gaming. It's his mission to help people who are in the same rabbit hole he was in. BUT the nature of his work requires him to keep on working with the topic of gaming addiction. He's not a "normal" person in this regard. Recovered addicts don't regularly remind themselves to not game/drink/watch porn/whatever. They're "over" it, either forever, or until they relapse. You are however correct in the fact that games are a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives. 1
Yan Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 21 hours ago, Yan said: Iwill break your post bit by bit, i find it more manageable this way (so i may comment to something you clarify later in the post so bare with me 🙂 Anyway here's what i mean with the green text Life - The opposite of death - Setting a long term goal and working to accomplish it, one which is not in a world made by someone else, controlled by someone else and is largely for the purpose of them gaining advantage from your time and also money. Individuality - basically the same as above. You separate yourself from the pack by working towards your goals, alone, in your spare time, whereas most people enslave themselves every "free" minute from their job which they do for money. They call it "free time" and go on to indulge in all kinds of escapism activities that provide short term satisfaction. By that preventing their goals(long term) from coming true and remaining no-bodys Freedom - To pursue what you choose in life, not what someone else chooses from you. Both are painful, but when you do it for long term gain it is pain that you indure for your goals, and not someone else's, the pain that may make you feel self-fulfilled which is the highest feeling we may want to achieve from this life in my opinion. Which brings me to self-fulfillment. (To be continued as my sleep deadline came..) @Amphibian220 - Continuing yesterday's reply Self-Fulfillment - Also the highest the highest tier in Maslow's hierarchy of human needs - Is the highest state of being we can achieve or wish to achieve as far as I'm aware of. When we achieve it, we basically are fulfilling our purpose on earth. Purpose - Basically a synonym of self-fulfillment more or less. Since we don't really know what our "ultimate" or "objective" purpose is, we set it ourselves. Which makes individuality and freedom collide with Self fulfillment and purpose. In addition besides "Life" being a state where you work towards your set goals, it also stands for health. Why? Because: when you game you are more likely to slip to habits which replace healthy habits, like your sleeping routine, working out, eating routine. When you replace your healthy habits, you are damaging your health, therefore damaging your Life in two ways. 1. Literally bringing yourself closer to death (probably) in the long term, that is what "unhealthy" often means. 2. Reducing your quality of living in the moment. Making you less "Living". For example if you don't move your body, you're less focused, your metabolism works worse, you may feel more pains in different parts of the body as a result of lack of use, etc. On 1/16/2025 at 8:31 AM, Amphibian220 said: Then, unhealthy environments and our defensive reactions to these environments we are in, can and do create recurring cycles of struggling to heal, experiencing temporary improvement (or not) and then sliding back into old ways. How can you change the environment. Advice commonly given : “change yourself first and everything else will change”. I think what has kept me in the same shell for years is that I either tried to change myself or the environment around me, but changing the interaction with the people around me, the thing that is in between the two, was the hardest. I think that changing the environment or your interaction with people are both a some form of changing yourself, because we only truly control ourselves in this world, and even that is under a question. As you can see, we are all here because at some point we wanted to quit games but didn't manage to get ourselves there. Nonetheless, indeed if you were inclined to gambling addiction, and you put yourself in the job of a "dealer" in a casino you're increasing your chance of falling back to gambling 100-fold. And in the long term, indeed this is what greatly will contribute to our goals. Because, as Benjamin Hardy says in his book "Willpower doesn't work" (As far as I remember, it's not a direct quote) - Our willpower is limited. It is indeed the environment which we set ourselves into which has the most impact. I can also say that in this specific instance I have used two environment changes, apart for the usual ones. 1. Deleting GTA - have managed to once avoid gaming for a day because of deleting GTA, which takes an hour to download. And I'm pretty sure I would have avoided it for one more day if i would've deleted it again after the same session where I re-downloaded it. Because when I went for another day, It was about 3 o'clock in the morning waking up from sleep. If I wouldn't have had it installed, it would require me waiting an hour to play which likely would have prevented that. 2. Setting a site-block in my pop-up blocker - uBlock origin. for the forums and website of the multiplayer extension of GTA i used to play. Which often serves as a trigger to start playing. You start looking at the forum which is easier than downloading the game, which pumps you up enough to want to download it. Although I may disable it, it's an additional action to do. Today it has blocked me from entering the site, and I thought of disabling it, but this brief moment actually allowed me one more moment to think, and somehow I didn't disable it, although it's quite simple. Of course there are the identity changes I talked about earlier which make you a "non player" and journaling and knowing what your purpose is are other parts of it, bt tat is a bit less direct. On 1/16/2025 at 8:31 AM, Amphibian220 said: Have I overcome these barriers? Some time ago yes, and then I experienced hope. What helped me were people with kind and brave hearts. A leader/mentor was important to have, but I could not find one for years. The environment was conducive to fear, disagreements, misunderstandings and grudges to which I was party. This downward spiral was facilitated in part by centralized mass communications platforms whose models people act out for lack of other examples. When I directly went to ask for help, I got the reply to the effect: “we dont know how to solve your issue”. And then I encountered a person who sat down and talked to me. He listened and smiled and the smile didn't cause fear which was something out of the ordinary. Over the next year, I was able to care about myself in ways I didn't deem possible at that point. Thank you for your advice, taken a note, a mentor might be something extremely important, since they help you set short-term goals in which you have more confidence(because you know they were where you want to be, and thus more likely to know what goals you should set), which makes you feel more progress, which is what we look for in gaming often, and thusit reduces the pull to game. Social is another thing Cam mentioned, just being in contact with people. I think this is somewhat what I'm doing here. And also I've started writing daily goals to an old time friend + looking for a "mastermind" in another congregation I'm in. Since it is indeed hard to find the right people. But thank you again for the reminder that it is important. If you have any other more specific suggestions on how to do that I'm all ears. Overall thank you for sharing and the advice. May you prevail another day, my game-quitting teammate. 1
Yan Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 Entry 18.1 Day 3: No Useless Videos Day 835: Sticking to Food schedule Day 438: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 8: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning workout -Calling potential garage seller in a follow-up after two weeks. -Evening routine right after dinner 1 Thing I could do better -Same as yesterday Despite "Fullness" Push through with 1 more pomodoro at least Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 5
Yan Posted January 19 Author Posted January 19 On 1/18/2025 at 1:47 AM, wheatbiscuit said: Second lastly, that was indeed confessing a need for less-tangible play with technology. I also wanted to say how most people deserve better than having gaming needs appear. The last part was a bit of a dig in your direction, I apologise. Basically, I envy those who can let go of major hobbies/routines and remain at peace. Cheers for getting straight to breaking down posts properly, I would especially understand directness coming from deciding what habits to develop in the near future. Thank you for the honesty regarding the envy, that's a thing that takes courage to say. I think you can do it too, but we will never know if you stop trying. We will only know if you continue trying relentlessly until the rest of your days. And it seems to me you currently stopped trying. That is not something you have to do. You are in control of your body. And the longer you'll go without these habits, the less you'll feel like there's something missing, your body will just learn to get these hormones from other things. The beginning is the most painful though of course. Bottom line: Keep trying, don't allow excuses to take over your mind. On 1/18/2025 at 1:47 AM, wheatbiscuit said: Hey, happy weekend. Yeah, glancing away from a gaming window in an effort to take things in word by word. Well, clicking and examining is almost what my eyes do because of extensive play. Edit: Also yes, reactionary thinking and feeling have been problems in the past. On the other hand, I actually meant abstinence let me achieve more, but that combined with medication I was pretty sad and upset (not withdrawal; it's sometimes my natural state). Again, I'll try to simplify. So today you feel that you're more capable to balance games than you were as a child, yet you are regretting that you do it anyway. You are admitting that abstinence let you achieve more, but saying that because you were sad you "had to" play. In my opinion, you don't have to do anything. As I stated above. You are in control of your body. It might be difficult and painful to not play, the same as working out, eating healthy and sleeping on time. But eventually you are the one who physically chooses to do it or not do it for whatever reason. You don't have to do anything. Unless you have some rare condition where you neurologically don't have control over your body, but then you wouldn't be deciding to neither play or not play anyway. Again Bottom line: If you choose to play that is your choice. But don't lie to yourself saying "you can"t do otherwise. I might be wrong in everything i write, those are just my opinions, if you feel I am wrong, feel free to contradict what I wrote 🙂 2
Yan Posted January 19 Author Posted January 19 Entry 19.1 Day 4: No Useless Videos Day 836: Sticking to Food schedule Day 439: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 9: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -75% effort run -Following schedule within 10 minute delay max -Evening routine right after dinner once more 1 Thing I could do better -Get out of bed when alarm went off. Not 4.5 hours after Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 6
Yan Posted January 20 Author Posted January 20 On 1/18/2025 at 11:03 AM, Ikar said: In the order that I do them, because my work hours are not regular and I mostly have free time around mid-day and late evening only, plus the weekends are up to me. I just think I could be more efficient/effective with the remainder of my time to get more things done. It's in my hands to change that though, if I feel like I'm getting too little done. Got to love it when people take responsibility 🙂 I'd like to use this opportunity to remind you however that the times in between (the times you work) are also up to you and are your choice, and you can change them if you'd like, or make the best of them if you wouldn't, just in case you forgot 😉 1
Yan Posted January 20 Author Posted January 20 On 1/18/2025 at 11:03 AM, Ikar said: Perhaps I misunderstood @Amphibian220 too. To add a little bit of my experience, I've never really used the "day counter" to measure progress, except the first 90 days. Then again, on my 90th day, I was in Iceland for the first (and so far last) time, working a full-time job. I really had no time to think about anything. I think it's OK to have a routine that helps you stay grounded. It's just that I don't think consciously reminding myself of not gaming every day for the rest of my life would work for me. It might work for you though. I don't need that "negative" motivational push from the horrors of my gaming past, because I've already changed just about everything since then. I have a job I love. I have a girlfriend I love. I have friends and some hobbies. My relationships with family are better. I didn't have any of that when I gamed and I identify with my gaming-self very little today, if at all. That's an interesting point, haven't thought much of it that way that it's a "negative" counter. I could rephrase it to something like "Days of self-accomplishment" or something of a sort, however, even the name of this website is game-quitters, so it is quite tied with gaming, guess I'm gonna stick to that phrasing for now, but it's worth pondering. Sounds like you're getting closer to self-actualization as you see it, keep it up 🙂
Yan Posted January 20 Author Posted January 20 On 1/18/2025 at 11:03 AM, Ikar said: Yes, it's a good name for a YouTube video. Seeing 5364 days without games is impressive, especially if somebody is deep in the addiction. It might spark curiosity in the person and get them to click on the video. I quit gaming 2099 days ago. Does that mean Cam is 2,555x (5364/2099) more successful than me? No, it's just a random number that looks impressive. Cam is literally somebody who focuses his business around quitting compulsive gaming. It's his mission to help people who are in the same rabbit hole he was in. BUT the nature of his work requires him to keep on working with the topic of gaming addiction. He's not a "normal" person in this regard. Recovered addicts don't regularly remind themselves to not game/drink/watch porn/whatever. They're "over" it, either forever, or until they relapse. You are however correct in the fact that games are a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives. -That's a nice number 🙂 I was also above 1,000 before the relapse. I think it was somewhere in the 1100s. (the 800 day counter was for useless videos, not gaming) -Anyway what I was seeing as a problem in what you said is not that you didn't like the "negative" counter which reminds of gaming, which i didn't understand that you meant at the time, rather what was "worrying" me is that you said we shouldn't have a non gaming identity. Which allows for loopholes for you to play here and there which could very quickly slip to full scale relapse. I think balancing shouldn't be attempted. But I might have mis-interpreted you. -I'm not 100% sure it is like that for everyone(not regularily remind ingthemselves), I think that the counter is an important progress reminder, and may be a source of pride in the long term. -Well, at least we agree on the fact it's a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives 🙂 Bottom line: I think balancing should not be attempted, because the neuro circuits are strongly tied with each other and can quickly get us hooked.
Yan Posted January 20 Author Posted January 20 Entry 20.1 Day 5: No Useless Videos Day 837: Sticking to Food schedule Day 440: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 10: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning workout -13 pomodoros (hot damn) -Staying awake for some more duolingo even though I was very sleepy 1 Thing I could do better -A little more concentration during pomodoros. Less flying in thoughts. Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 7
Ikar Posted January 21 Posted January 21 12 hours ago, Yan said: Got to love it when people take responsibility 🙂 I'd like to use this opportunity to remind you however that the times in between (the times you work) are also up to you and are your choice, and you can change them if you'd like, or make the best of them if you wouldn't, just in case you forgot 😉 Since I don't have an employer, even my work-hours are my responsibility and decision. I work with students 1-to-1, so I don't have total control over their time, but yes, if I said "My work hours are between 12 and 6.", nobody could stop me from doing that. 12 hours ago, Yan said: That's an interesting point, haven't thought much of it that way that it's a "negative" counter. I could rephrase it to something like "Days of self-accomplishment" or something of a sort, however, even the name of this website is game-quitters, so it is quite tied with gaming, guess I'm gonna stick to that phrasing for now, but it's worth pondering. Sounds like you're getting closer to self-actualization as you see it, keep it up 🙂 My reasoning stems from the quote "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety (days without gaming), but connection (having a good life)." You're correct though that this is an "anti-gaming addiction" forum more than anything else. I stuck around over the years mostly because I just like to journal here. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂 12 hours ago, Yan said: -That's a nice number 🙂 I was also above 1,000 before the relapse. I think it was somewhere in the 1100s. (the 800 day counter was for useless videos, not gaming) -Anyway what I was seeing as a problem in what you said is not that you didn't like the "negative" counter which reminds of gaming, which i didn't understand that you meant at the time, rather what was "worrying" me is that you said we shouldn't have a non gaming identity. Which allows for loopholes for you to play here and there which could very quickly slip to full scale relapse. I think balancing shouldn't be attempted. But I might have mis-interpreted you. -I'm not 100% sure it is like that for everyone(not regularily remind ingthemselves), I think that the counter is an important progress reminder, and may be a source of pride in the long term. -Well, at least we agree on the fact it's a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives 🙂 Bottom line: I think balancing should not be attempted, because the neuro circuits are strongly tied with each other and can quickly get us hooked. Being 3 years without gaming is impressive! It's entirely possible there was something that you started lacking over time during your abstinence, maybe just in the last few weeks or months. Yeah, my point was to show that the identity of being "anti-something" can only take you so far. Knowing what you're against is OK (gaming in your life), but knowing what you're for is better. Because once you know what you're for, it also solves a lot of the things you're against too. If you're for exercise and a good diet, you're automatically against being fat and a bad diet. And you don't need to remind yourself you're against being fat and a bad diet, because it's already embedded into the positive variant. I hope it makes sense 😄 I'm also against the regulation of gaming in myself. I've tried that many times, before coming to the forum. It didn't work to take one hour here to do the chores and one hour there to do exercise. Now, even when I am bored, I don't think of games. My priorities are completely different than they were and I just don't have the time anyway.
Yan Posted January 21 Author Posted January 21 11 hours ago, Ikar said: Since I don't have an employer, even my work-hours are my responsibility and decision. I work with students 1-to-1, so I don't have total control over their time, but yes, if I said "My work hours are between 12 and 6.", nobody could stop me from doing that. Yep, but it doesn't even have to remain that work, and the amount of hours doesn't have to remain that amount of hours. In any case it sound like you're already quite responsible from what you're describing. So it's just a reminder 🙂 1
Yan Posted January 21 Author Posted January 21 11 hours ago, Ikar said: My reasoning stems from the quote "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety (days without gaming), but connection (having a good life)." You're correct though that this is an "anti-gaming addiction" forum more than anything else. I stuck around over the years mostly because I just like to journal here. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂 Did you find that quote in Johann Hari's "Chasing the scream"? Or from another source? Would you suggest that book if you got it from there? 1
Yan Posted January 21 Author Posted January 21 Entry 21.1 Day 6: No Useless Videos Day 838: Sticking to Food schedule Day 441: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 11: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning Jog -7 pomodoros -sticking to about 40 minutes during apartment conversation which is within the timeframe i devoted to it 1 Thing I could do better -Planned contingencies for poop, if there's no sun Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 8
Ikar Posted January 22 Posted January 22 13 hours ago, Yan said: Did you find that quote in Johann Hari's "Chasing the scream"? Or from another source? Would you suggest that book if you got it from there? I think I saw it somewhere more times, maybe the first time in GQ-related materials. No book/source in particular. 1
Yan Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 On 1/21/2025 at 10:33 AM, Ikar said: Being 3 years without gaming is impressive! It's entirely possible there was something that you started lacking over time during your abstinence, maybe just in the last few weeks or months. Absolutely possible. Actuaally i'm in the same situation i was in my last relapse, sitting myself in a room and grinding over some project with minimal interaction with people and a very small feeling of progress if any. On 1/21/2025 at 10:33 AM, Ikar said: Yeah, my point was to show that the identity of being "anti-something" can only take you so far. Knowing what you're against is OK (gaming in your life), but knowing what you're for is better. Because once you know what you're for, it also solves a lot of the things you're against too. If you're for exercise and a good diet, you're automatically against being fat and a bad diet. And you don't need to remind yourself you're against being fat and a bad diet, because it's already embedded into the positive variant. I hope it makes sense 😄 Sure. It makes a lot of sense. I completely agree that if we tell ourselves not to think of a pink elephant, the only thing we're going to think about is a pink elephant 🙂 Nonetheless, one of Rbert Cialdini's principles in the book Influence that drive human behavior is Commitment and Consistency. That's why having a counter could also help, despite the fact that it's sorta' negative. But it must come together with "positive" goals as you stated. In my opinion that is 🙂 1
Yan Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 On 1/21/2025 at 10:33 AM, Ikar said: I'm also against the regulation of gaming in myself. I've tried that many times, before coming to the forum. It didn't work to take one hour here to do the chores and one hour there to do exercise. Now, even when I am bored, I don't think of games. My priorities are completely different than they were and I just don't have the time anyway. Honestly I don't remember when I felt "Bored". I always have something to do. Do you use time-blocking? Or do you have chunks of "free time" in your schedule? This "free time" is the only thing that can make you feel bored in my humble opinion and assumption. 1
Yan Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 Entry 22.1(Written on 23.1) Day 7: No Useless Videos Day 839: Sticking to Food schedule Day 442: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 12: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning Resistance Workout -5 pomodoros -Sticking to schedule within 10 minute delay at most until I dozed off in bed X_X 1 Thing I could do better -Completed evening routine when i accidentally woke up at 19 Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 9 1
Ikar Posted January 23 Posted January 23 6 hours ago, Yan said: Absolutely possible. Actuaally i'm in the same situation i was in my last relapse, sitting myself in a room and grinding over some project with minimal interaction with people and a very small feeling of progress if any. Yes, that's definitely something to analyze. Maybe gaming didn't present itself as an escape in your head the first time or second time when you ground the project, but perhaps the tenth time. And maybe you resisted it for another five times, until you acted on the thought the sixth time. 6 hours ago, Yan said: Honestly I don't remember when I felt "Bored". I always have something to do. Do you use time-blocking? Or do you have chunks of "free time" in your schedule? This "free time" is the only thing that can make you feel bored in my humble opinion and assumption. I only "book" time for lessons with my students (around 25-30 hours a week). The rest of my time is not usually scheduled, I just normally go to bed at 10-11 and get up between 6-8 as necessary. It's good to be bored sometimes, just for the experience. As I wrote, even when I am bored (or overworked, the other extreme), I don't think of gaming as an escape. When I'm overworked, I find an activity to relax like writing or I come up with a plan to tackle the problem. I usually find something to do even when I am bored too. It actually gives me space to focus on lesser priorities like chores around the house that are not as essential (e.g. dusting, putting boxes into the cellar etc.) These reactions are my second nature now and they're generally positive. I don't have to "plan" to relax, which really sounds like an oxymoron 😄 And it works for me. There are always a few areas I'd like to work on more often, but I don't think I need to start planning for it. In fact, I think pushing myself into planning my days in detail would make me rebel and would cause more damage down the road. I usually do plan some activities if I have entire parts of the day free though. Maybe it will change in the future, but so far I am happy with my approach.
Yan Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 9 hours ago, Ikar said: Yes, that's definitely something to analyze. Maybe gaming didn't present itself as an escape in your head the first time or second time when you ground the project, but perhaps the tenth time. And maybe you resisted it for another five times, until you acted on the thought the sixth time. Sounds more or less like reality 😉 The first number could probably be multiplied by some 15 and the second by 4 or 5 and you're golden ;D 9 hours ago, Ikar said: I only "book" time for lessons with my students (around 25-30 hours a week). The rest of my time is not usually scheduled, I just normally go to bed at 10-11 and get up between 6-8 as necessary. Sounds terrifying being without scheduled time, like a source for infinite depression 9 hours ago, Ikar said: It's good to be bored sometimes, just for the experience. As I wrote, even when I am bored (or overworked, the other extreme), I don't think of gaming as an escape. When I'm overworked, I find an activity to relax like writing or I come up with a plan to tackle the problem. I usually find something to do even when I am bored too. It actually gives me space to focus on lesser priorities like chores around the house that are not as essential (e.g. dusting, putting boxes into the cellar etc.) These reactions are my second nature now and they're generally positive. I don't have to "plan" to relax, which really sounds like an oxymoron I don't even know what you mean when you say "relax" never had that item on my schedule for years. Work is my relaxation. And it worked quite well for a few years... 9 hours ago, Ikar said: And it works for me. There are always a few areas I'd like to work on more often, but I don't think I need to start planning for it. In fact, I think pushing myself into planning my days in detail would make me rebel and would cause more damage down the road. I usually do plan some activities if I have entire parts of the day free though. Maybe it will change in the future, but so far I am happy with my approach. Maybe it will make you rebel, or maybe it's just your blizzard brain speaking 😉 In anycase so long as you're happy with your approach that's the most important thing. Because there are no right and wrong ways to live life. So long as you know what you aim for in the long term and your manner of living serves you (Begin with the end in mind from stephen covey's book, knowing what eulogy you want at your funeral, etc.) you're golden 🙂 1
Yan Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 Entry 23.1 Day 8: No Useless Videos Day 840: Sticking to Food schedule Day 443: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 13: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -75% effort run -4 pomodoros -About 43 hours water fast 1 Thing I could do better -After evening routine follow schedule in direction of my life's goals. Not useless news watching and surfing gaming forums =/ Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 10
Ikar Posted January 24 Posted January 24 10 hours ago, Yan said: Sounds more or less like reality 😉 The first number could probably be multiplied by some 15 and the second by 4 or 5 and you're golden ;D To be honest, it's quite impressive to resist it so many times (and for such a long time too). I'm sure my will wouldn't be as strong. I can't tell you how I did it exactly (apart from living my life the way I do), but I just don't get cravings anymore, so I don't need to resist them. 10 hours ago, Yan said: Sounds terrifying being without scheduled time, like a source for infinite depression I'd agree with that statement. Four, maybe three years ago, I approached a girl at the university. I immediately lost all interest in her after she told me that she just sat and watched series all spring holiday. I asked her again and got the same response. I think some people just slob around, do nothing all day and then wonder why they are depressed. I think they are depressed because they know in the back of their mind that they're not doing enough to meet their potential. I used to be like that when I gamed, but not anymore. I'm now intrinsically motivated to do my best. 10 hours ago, Yan said: I don't even know what you mean when you say "relax" never had that item on my schedule for years. Work is my relaxation. And it worked quite well for a few years... In my case, writing relaxes me and it's an activity I like. I think stretching is becoming a relaxation activity for me too. I think people normally connect relaxation with their hobbies and free time. I find it rather interesting that what one person considers relaxation can be work for another. Dusting for an hour is literally more work for me than to have a lesson with my students 😄 10 hours ago, Yan said: Maybe it will make you rebel, or maybe it's just your blizzard brain speaking 😉 In anycase so long as you're happy with your approach that's the most important thing. Because there are no right and wrong ways to live life. So long as you know what you aim for in the long term and your manner of living serves you (Begin with the end in mind from stephen covey's book, knowing what eulogy you want at your funeral, etc.) you're golden 🙂 Yeah, I've just worked for an hour an a half to improve my online tables for students. I didn't have it planned, but it's been in my head for a few weeks now. "Work" and "useful activities" are really my default whenever I find a bigger block of free time, like today. I think it's just about setting "correct" baseline activities of life. I'd really feel lazy if my baseline activity was watching series or films, for example. 1
Yan Posted January 24 Author Posted January 24 12 hours ago, Ikar said: To be honest, it's quite impressive to resist it so many times (and for such a long time too). I'm sure my will wouldn't be as strong. I can't tell you how I did it exactly (apart from living my life the way I do), but I just don't get cravings anymore, so I don't need to resist them. I didn't really count the times, but I'm pretty sure these numbers are quite representative. I guess you have the 4 basic human needs that Cam said gaming fulfills being met: Social, Escape, Constant measurable progress, challenge? Is that so? 1
Yan Posted January 25 Author Posted January 25 Entry 24.1(Written on 25.1 - Didn'tthink of thing i could do better within timeframe) Day 9: No Useless Videos Day 841: Sticking to Food schedule Day 444: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 14: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Morning workout (Legs,chest,stairs) -Absolutely sticking to schedule within 10 minutes delay max. Today I'm proud -14 pomodoros (hot damn once more 😉 ) 1 Thing I could do better -Block some additional gaming websites on my phone and computer Gaming count since relapse Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 11
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