Bird By Bird 163 Posted December 12, 2020 Author Share Posted December 12, 2020 On 12/7/2020 at 10:30 PM, Jason70 said: Wow 86 days, you're almost there just 4 more days, you've got this! On 12/7/2020 at 8:01 PM, Bird By Bird said: Thanks @Jason70. Yesterday was day 90 and I didn't even realize it. I don't feel different but when I look back, I realize how much healthier and happier I am now. Yesterday I also analyzed my version 1 'Put away laptop downstairs at 12 am every day experiment.' While I did succeed on most days, I still use too much computer. My new version 2 experiment is 'Only use laptop from 2 pm to 12 am and put away laptop downstairs at 12 am.' I also am experimenting with 'Writing stories on paper in the morning and typing them into computer after 2 pm.' I already do this with my weekly journal. I have been doing a sub experiment with paper writing that involves re-iterations of text on different sheets and rearranging like a map and drawing progression maps like Zelda Dungeons. I am honest with myself when I say I like some concepts and aesthetics found in video games but I hate the tedium in playing them and I know as an addict who has relapsed on-and-off again years before ever finding Game Quitters that games will just suck me in and waste my time and my health because billion dollar companies pay the smartest people in the world to make and sell these games to suck people like me, and you, into their world because they want to make more money. I have found these video-game-esque concepts manifesting elsewhere such as the maps I draw to represent story progressions through different scenes and that's okay. I've had my fill after playing Bloodborne and Doom Eternal and there are always new and better games comming out all the time but whatever they are nothing to me. I have my writing, and reading, and music, and cooking, and exercise to entertain me and keep me calm and healthy. I also want more and deeper and new social relations and friends. I wonder what my life will look like after the pandemic. Many people made things during quarantine, many people did nothing. During the Pandemic, I did not play video games for 90 days (or quite possibly 120 days, I'm not too sure about July and August). That is my accomplishment. I won because I allowed myself to sleep in. To lean on a bunch of different crutches from porn to book-addiction, and even got rid of other crutches along the journey. I sought to make the recovery process easy by being as comfy as possible and going easy on myself in a bunch of other areas. We are not perfect and mistakes are made, after all we are in recovery. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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