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codepants

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  1. Roommate/ex-lady friend started packing tonight. It's... like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I still have to find a place. Was going to visit two today but one cancelled and without a car, it makes more sense to do them both at once. So, tomorrow it is. New folks who might want our apartment a month early will also be visiting tomorrow. So, lots of... preparation for change. Can't recall if I shared that I "started" a meal plan last week. I'm definitely not adhering to all the rules but I did want to start eating better. I can cook, I've just never bought a week's worth o
  2. Thank you, @Bugg. So yea, day 37 today. I'm having an increasing number of moments where I have nothing to do and it's like... well, one, "I could literally do anything right now." And two, "Is this all there is?" I actually, unexpectedly, found a pretty satisfying article to answer that here. tl;dr... no. The answer is always no. I think those moments can fuel creative outbursts, like... what have I not been doing? I have a whole life, so if I am bored, then there must be something I could be doing, that I am not doing. I think "is this all there is" is the adaptation part of hedoni
  3. Day 34 - a record if I keep it. I can feel myself getting pulled back towards gaming. I did check this morning of one of the mogul games I used to play has been updated. It's in pre-alpha and I've beat it as is, but once it updates... it will be hard not to binge. Got the CPAP machine on Friday (it's actually an APAP machine). No difference in energy yet, but supposedly it takes awhile. I am waking up around 4 AM and removing it, not sure why, I'm too tired to think straight. But that's 6 hours with it on, so hopefully I can go all night at some point. Ordered the metal 3D printed bi
  4. Woof, been a while. Still game-free by my rules (allowing games with friends in limited quantities, primarily Tabletop Simulator). Bike part prototype -- now on version 4. Works great. I mean, fits great. The plastic version is obviously not load-bearing, so I haven't ridden on it. But I will order the steel version soon! Just have to decide which vendor -- one that speaks a little better English for $20 more, or one that's been kind of a pain to save $20. Both are based in China. To 3D print steel in the US is hella expensive. Billed 21 hours last week! It was indeed that I just did
  5. Still here, been journaling in my paper journal which has been nice. I'll be getting a new supervisor at work which I'm super happy about, the last one made me want to quit. Just two more group meetings with him and then I'm FREEEEEEEEE which is also how I felt when I broke up with lady friend, interestingly enough. That's going okay. She still tries to dump on me. I'm getting better at saying no, which really bothers her. She's still trying to find a therapist she likes. I hope she does. She deserves someone who listens. I just can't be that person for her anymore. Bike part pr
  6. Curious to see how this turns out for you. Good luck and keep us posted.
  7. As Some Yahoo said, you're experiencing the downside of hedonic adaptation. Your brain is used to the extreme dopamine levels of video games. Anything less than that is boring, dull, depressing. It needs time to get used to what should be normal. That's why we say it takes 90 days. After 2 weeks I was finding myself more motivated, but not a lot. I was doing 1 or maybe 2 more previously "boring" things a day than I did before. It took me about 70 days before I felt the depression start to lift. Yesterday I did all my "habits" (I use a habit tracker) and then some. And FYI that 70 days inc
  8. Single player for me. I can see how multiplayer would be more addicting in the long run. In multiplayer there is always someone better than you, always someone to beat. In single player, at some point you've "beat the game." And then you get bored and onto the next one. Honestly that's what's made it easier for me to quit. The games I play have endings. Whenever I used to beat one I remember feeling like, "Do I really want to get hooked on another game? And then what, I'll beat that and then... nothing? Isn't there more to life than this" Between games there was always this lull of l
  9. I have a habit tracker and when I'm bored I check things off the tracker. For instance yesterday (Sunday) I was able to do them all: mindfulness, practice ukulele, eat leafy greens, exercise, journal, read, and study for my upcoming exam. You could also around-the-house projects, talk to friends, clean, try a new hobby. Reading is awesome, I also love getting lost in a good book. This is not for everyone but I have found Tabletop Simulator EXTREMELY helpful during the pandemic. It allows me to play "board games" with friends when I otherwise wouldn't be able to. The downside is it re
  10. Welcome, Terry. It sounds like you are taking some great steps towards recovery. I would also recommend seeing a therapist if you aren't already. It sounds like you have a complex history of addiction (not just video games but alcohol and you mention "2 other addictions." The people here can empathize with you since we've been there but we aren't professionals (actually there are a few therapists around but they are not your therapists, they are here for the same reason you are). Withdrawals -- for me it was fatigue and irritability. I mostly watched TV; as Melon said, for the first
  11. Yo, 11:59 PM! Congrats! 🎉🎉🎉
  12. Nothing really new to report, all caught up. I have been journaling in my paper journal so I might disappear from this one periodically. Thank you all for the support you have given me!
  13. The prototype for my bike part came today. It's good I ordered a prototype because I accidentally used the dimensions of the bicycle frame as the inner dimensions instead of the outer dimensions. So I basically recreated a chunk of frame instead of the part that goes inside that chunk of frame. Lol... whoops! Still cool, though. I'm happy with it... I'm happy that I made something! So I fixed up the design and ordered another prototype, hopefully of the correct dimensions this time.
  14. Feeling pretty good today. Day 7 of attempt number whatever. Did all my habits yesterday. Rode to Trader Joe's today to pick up chicken nuggets for my roommate, they were out. Also got some other stuff we like from there. About halfway through with documentation—one intake and all the regular appointments down, so just two intakes left. My goal is to finish by 7 so I can play board games (via Tabletop Simulator) with my high school friends guilt-free. Also slept through the night last night, which was weird. I have been working out "more" lately, by which I mean 5 times in the past 8
  15. There is nothing wrong with being hard on yourself, and if that is the rule you want to set, it's up to you. For my part, I decided at the beginning that playing simulations of board/card games is okay, especially during COVID. This allows me to catch up with friends I wouldn't otherwise be able to see because of the pandemic. No, playing it on the computer is not ideal. But it is still a board/card game, and without allowing myself this exception, I would not be able to do anything with my friends except talk, which you can only do for so long, even with good friends. IMO, saying board/c