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NannerZ

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Day 15: May 20th, 2019

Today was mostly a good day. The bathroom scale continues to move in the right direction which is awesome. I walked to the gym today and put in 50 mins of cardio exercises. Managed to walk for about..100 minutes or so today also. Ate healthy meals today and drank a bunch of water. I walked to the coffee bar today and spent some time at the cafe studying and watching some game quitters videos. I think it's important that I stay motivated and inspired. I've failed at trying to change my life enough times to know that motivation and inspiration are fleeting and they don't last unless you take the time to nurture them. Here's a great quote from Zig Ziglar, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily"

I was quite bored today for periods of time and it made me realize how fucking lonely I am. I barely have any friends. I wish I had a girlfriend so bad, but I have no idea how to get one. It's so clear to me now why I gamed so much. When I gamed I wasn't thinking about how I needed more friends or how badly I wanted a girl in my life. I always wanted those things I just didn't know how to get them so I gamed instead. I couldn't take my eyes off this cute girl with purple hair at the cafe today, feels so hopeless sometimes. Bah whatever, this is just a challenge I need to overcome. I think for the first 60 days of my detox I want to remain very focused on my health goals as my primary pursuit. Continuing my fitness and weight loss journey will bring me self worth, confidence, and bravado. I think at day 60 I will begin to focus my efforts on how I can meet more friends, especially girls. Maybe it was just a bad day and I had too much time to think and I got down on myself. I genuinely feel much better than I did about myself today than I did on day 1 and that's what really matters. There is now a reality where I can achieve my goals, where I'm actually living my life the way I want to.. that wasn't the case a few weeks ago. I just sat around and hoped something would change someday, it doesn't work like that. How the fuck could I not see this before?

In all seriousness tho, I'm happy right now. I'm proud of myself. I'm getting shit done. I'm living my life. I will rise to the challenge and I will live up to my expectations of myself. No gaming, No fap, no porn, I won the day.

15 days since I played a video game

15 days since I watched porn

15 days since I smoked weed

15 days since I ate junk food

15 days since I drank pop

Edited by NannerZ
i do what i want

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6 hours ago, NannerZ said:

I did not know this. I have never experienced waking up and having a 'release' But I only think I've gone past 21 days no fap.. maybe twice ever? I wonder if it will happen to me eventually. I'm not having sex right now unfortunately so I suppose I'll find out soon if I will release naturally haha.

I'm putting it out here, so you don't have to stigmatize yourself if something like that happens. After reading your comment, I got curious and I found this site below for some interesting ideas regarding the topic. As with everything in life, there's more to it:

https://www.nateliason.com/blog

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Day 16: May 21, 2019

Today was a good day. Put in one of my best workouts yet at the gym. Walked for approx 110ish minutes today. Ate clean all day long. I've created a habit where I walk to the cafe almost every day which is good, however I order a tea with cream and sugar also which is not good. It's the only questionable thing I put in my body most days of this detox.. I think I'm going to try to cut out this habit next week and pay closer attention to the scale to see if it helps. It's funny to see how far I've come already.. in the past I would do this every day without blinking, on top of tons of other terrible food choices. Now I'm very careful about what I put in my body. If I do this half-ass I will get half-ass results and I don't want that.

The job interview I had last week called and asked for my references which is good. I might actually have to choose between this job and my old one which could be interesting. Too early to tell, I'll worry about that later. Much more emotionally stable today than yesterday, I think I just didn't keep busy enough yesterday and let my mind wander too much. No gaming, no cravings. I won the day

16 days since I played a video game

16 days since I watched porn

16 days since I smoked weed

16 days since I ate junk food

16 days since I drank pop

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You are doing well man, good job. I also leaned heavily on a set schedule and routine at first, to help me just take my distance from things as a start.

Regarding health and sexuality, thankfully our bodies are really smart and they have ways to deal with too much product in our storage rooms if you get what I mean. That's natural and if anything, it'll be a proof of your discipline all the previous days.

In my experience, keeping busy on purpose is the single most effective thing in this process. To this day, empty days are always potential trouble days.

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21 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

You are doing well man, good job. I also leaned heavily on a set schedule and routine at first, to help me just take my distance from things as a start.

Regarding health and sexuality, thankfully our bodies are really smart and they have ways to deal with too much product in our storage rooms if you get what I mean. That's natural and if anything, it'll be a proof of your discipline all the previous days.

In my experience, keeping busy on purpose is the single most effective thing in this process. To this day, empty days are always potential trouble days.

I trust in your experience. Thanks for the advice, I will take this into consideration.

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Day 17: May 22, 2019

Today was a lot like many other days of the detox. I had a really crappy sleep last night, which caused me to have a disappointing start to the day. I'm actually starting to get annoyed at my lack of jump/energy in the mornings. I lay around in bed too long, I drink coffee and check social media and the internet and then eventually I get dressed and go to the gym 1-2 hours later than I should. This has got to stop, I have to create an environment that encourages me to be proactive in the morning. I suspect this will change when I start my job again soon but I've got to do better right now.

My sluggish morning meant I didn't put in my best effort at the gym today, but I showed up because this is who I am now. I don't miss workouts. On top of 40 mins of cardio at the gym today I walked for 60 mins and did 15 minutes of yoga and a few sets of pushups. I continued my habit of walking to the cafe and getting a tea. I think I'm going to put an end to this soon.. maybe tomorrow. I noticed today that after my workout and drinking a bunch of water, I just felt good. I felt clean, like my body was functioning optimally. Soon after I had my 2 cream/1sugar tea I felt bloated.. like I didn't need to put that into my body. I think I want to move to like a nearly 100% water plan soon. I've done 27 days water only before, I can do it again.

I sent in my references for that IT job today and I might hear back about that soon. I also spoke with my old manager about coming back and it's sounding quite promising that I can return. I'm leaning towards just going back to my old job. I know I'm comfortable there, I know I can do it and be successful. Especially now that I'm not blinded by video games and am performing at a far superior level than I was only a few weeks ago. Time will tell, I'm eager to get this sorted out soon.

No gaming, no cravings. No fap, although I did have a pretty strong craving.

I won the day.

17 days since I played a video game

17 days since I watched porn

17 days since I smoked weed

17 days since I ate junk food

17 days since I drank pop

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Day 18: May 23rd, 2019

Today I gained a new perspective on things. I had a 90 minute conversation with my roommate about how our lives are going and it was enjoyable. I finally told him about the detox and he was surprised but supportive. At the gym today while doing cardio I watched a YouTube Ted talk video about sugar. I always knew sugar was bad but this hit home in a way I needed. It helped me understand what I'm doing wrong in the mornings. I need to be having protein in the morning to give myself the best possible start to the day. This is probably why my mornings have been sluggish for weeks. So I'm going to be altering up my routine in the morning which will hopefully give me that push I need to start crushing.

I took the long walk home after the gym and received a phone call from the IT interview I had last week. They offered me the job. My first job in IT. Fucking sweet right? I told her I needed the weekend to think about it. The wage is lower than I'd like but I've unsuccessfully tried to find IT work for over 6 months.. not sure I can turn this down if I want to work in the industry. But that's the issue.. I've been having 2nd thoughts about whether I want to pursue IT anymore. My old job might give me my job back with new responsibilities and there's a part of me that wants to take that road. It's the safe road I know.. but there's long term potential there to have a solid career. I need to speak to my old manager to see if she can offer me more information about what type of role they have in mind for me. Then I will speak with people I trust and hopefully have a decision by Monday. Very tough decision. This is possibly one of the biggest decisions of my entire life. But the good news is I can finally start working again soon and start building my future. And now that I don't have gaming to take up all my time and distract me from what's really important I expect myself to perform better at work and become a true asset.

The future is bright. I'm excited. Today wasn't my best day health wise but I'm much better prepared to really go on an impressive streak here soon. Damn, I'm motivated.

No gaming, no cravings.

I won the day.

18 days since I played a video game

18 days since I watched porn

18 days since I smoked weed

18 days since I ate junk food

18 days since I drank pop

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Yeah these are big decisions. Take your time and listen to what you want. I mean surely you should take to people you trust, but in the end in all comes down to what yoou think is right. I mean I decided to attend 4 more years in school instead of doing an apprenticeship, what my teacher then recommended me. And it's the best decision I've ever made I can tell you that. Have a good weekend @NannerZ

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13 hours ago, Sapuverell said:

Yeah these are big decisions. Take your time and listen to what you want. I mean surely you should take to people you trust, but in the end in all comes down to what yoou think is right. I mean I decided to attend 4 more years in school instead of doing an apprenticeship, what my teacher then recommended me. And it's the best decision I've ever made I can tell you that. Have a good weekend @NannerZ

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. Glad to hear it worked out well for you. I think I know what my decision will be and I'm excited! Have a good weekend also!

Edited by NannerZ
fdjsanoip

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Day 19: May 24, 2019

Today has been enlightening! I'm feeling very inspired and excited about my new life this evening. I made some important decisions today and I feel so good about them. I'm going to accept the job offer and take my first job in IT. And I think I'm going to try to get my old job back as well. I'm going to try to work 1-2 weeknights and weekends at my old job. This way I can keep one foot in each door. This will also keep me busy and away from gaming. Finally some actual security in my life! This is the structure I've needed to really take control of my new life.

While I am happy and proud of my progress to lose weight and get fit thus far, I want to take it to the next level. I want to go hard at this.  I've decided to go water only starting on Monday. Along with adjusting a few things about my diet and doing meal prep for when I go back to work all the pieces should be in place for the weight to just start melting off. I've hit the gym an impressive 16 of the last 19 days and I strive to go each day if I can.

I'm just riding this emotional high tonight. Very excited about my future right now. I can see a new life now, one that provides actual real fulfillment. One day I'm going to go back and read this journal and I want myself to read this entry and remember this day because this is the day that everything became real for me. I'm woke af. I finally get it. I'm done hiding behind the computer screen.

I won the fucking day. 

19 days gaming free

19 days porn free

19 sugar drink free

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Day 20: May 25, 2019

20 days without video games. Today was an ordinary day. I really didn't feel like going to the gym this morning but I went anyway because I don't miss workouts. Ended up doing more than I expected too. 100 minutes of walking outside today also. Spent a little time studying for my A+ exam, which I really have to ramp up for at this point, less than 2 weeks away! Spent a lot of the day planning for how I'm going to refocus my goals and routines starting on Monday. I'm going to think about it more tomorrow and see what I can come up with but I've got some exciting ideas.

I feel like I should write more but it truly was an unremarkable day. I'll make up for it tomorrow as I want to get a lot of my ideas on paper tomorrow anyway.

20 days gaming free

20 days porn free

20 days sugar drink free

 

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Day 21: May 26, 2019

3 full weeks without video games. Didn't think it would be this easy to quit gaming. I think taking a few days preparing for the detox before I started was the key to early success. I was able to make it thru most of Respawn before day 1 which prepared me greatly. I took a 3 week vacation two years ago and that's the longest I've ever gone without video games.. so I think like 3-4 more days without games and it will be my longest streak of all time.

I spent a few hours at a family bday party today where I definitely ate too much. I kind of let myself get away with too much today because I've been planning for days to change my routines greatly starting tomorrow. I broke my PMO streak today.. I don't care too much because I'm going to start new streaks tomorrow. I could have avoided it pretty easily.. I kinda chose to do it anyway.. won't happen again. Didn't hit the gym today. That makes 17/21 for the past 21 days. Pretty impressive regardless.

So how are things going to be different starting tomorrow? I spent a decent chunk of today planning and preparing for how to be successful and reach top performer level. Starting tomorrow I'm implementing a 100 pushups a day challenge for at least the next 30 days. I'll be going water only as well for at least 30 days. I've set up a google calendar where I've scheduled my week. I've fit in wake up times, gym sessions, and when to eat each meal so far. I've got it synced to my phone with reminders so this should be a powerful tool to help keep me on track! I was super skeptical and dismissive of the idea of keeping a daily or weekly schedule for as long as I can remember, but I watched some YouTube stuff today on how to use google calendar to plan and be successful and it kind of sold me. I think this will play a big part in my success moving forward.

I also officially accepted the job offer. So I have one more week of total freedom before I start my new job as the Junior Network Administrator. Really looking forward to it. Life will start getting real hectic that week but I'm confident with my new scheduling strategies and my discipline I will be successful. Looking forward to tomorrow.

21 days gaming free

 

Edited by NannerZ
your mom
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Day 22:  May 27, 2019

Today was day 1 of my new reformed schedule. I ate clean all day, put in 2+ hours at the gym, walked for 100+ minutes, drank only water, and did 100 pushups today. And I'm sitting here now listening to some sick post rock, typing this out and wondering if I could have done more today? I suppose that's a good sign. Gaming is the furthest thing from my mind. Cravings have been minimal.. if that. Also managed to study for a bit today.

Life will definitely get much busier next week but I'm prepared. I will rise to the challenge. Not much else to say about today.. it went very very well and all I'm thinking about is doing the same thing tomorrow.

I won the day.

Gaming free streak: 22 days

Water only streak: 1 day

100 pushups a day streak: 1 day

Porn free: 1 day

 

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Day 23: May 28, 2019

I started today off by hitting the snooze button and then dismissing the alarm which caused me to sleep an extra hour and a half. Damnit! I've been trying to wake up early this week so I can be better prepared for waking up for my job which starts on Monday. Then when I actually woke up I didn't have time to make myself the breakfast I wanted so I stopped for Mcdonalds breakfast and coffee. Which means I already broke my water streak. I was mad at myself the entire rest of the day. I could have easily avoided that and just had like a protein bar and fruit or something. I think my brain has this old programming that says 'whenever things don't go as planned, you may just take the easy way out'  I've got to recognize this and not let it happen again.  The rest of the day went super well however, ate clean, drank only water, 100 pushups, 30 mins cardio at gym, and some yoga.

It sounds like I'm going to get my old job back on top of the new job I'm starting next week. Holy crap I'm going to be busy. Gaming will not be an issue. I'm gonna miss all this free time, oh well. Everyone has to grow up sometime. Tomorrow will be like today, without the morning screw up.

Gaming free streak: 23 days

Water only streak: 0 days 🤬

100 pushups a day streak: 2 days

Porn free: 2 days

 

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17 minutes ago, NannerZ said:

I think my brain has this old programming that says 'whenever things don't go as planned, you may just take the easy way out' 

I feel your pain! I have to fight this instinct pretty much live time!

18 minutes ago, NannerZ said:

I'm gonna miss all this free time

Maybe not! Maybe your routine ends up so well balanced that You don't miss having free time! Time will tell, let it do its thing.

Carry on, dude!

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38 minutes ago, Ambassador said:

I feel your pain! I have to fight this instinct pretty much live time!

Maybe not! Maybe your routine ends up so well balanced that You don't miss having free time! Time will tell, let it do its thing.

Carry on, dude!

Thanks friend! Maybe you are right. Thanks for the support.

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Day 24: May 29, 2019

I've been having problems sleeping again. It's a huge source of stress for me. Every single night when I know it's time to sleep I just put so much pressure on myself to sleep that I end up wide awake. This is really frustrating, I used to be such a good sleeper. I really hope I can get past this soon. I'm moving my computer to a different room tomorrow, it's in my bedroom right now and I think that might be tricking my brain a little.

Even though I only got 3-5ish hours of fragmented crappy sleep last night I managed to have possibly my best day of the detox so far. 2 hours at the gym, 60 minutes of walking, 3 healthy clean meals, only water, 100 pushups, and spent an hour playing tennis with a friend. Also did a bit of studying. Other than that nothing too relevant happened today. Think I'll leave this one short as I feel like watching something. I need to catch up on Chernobyl!

I won the day.

Gaming free streak: 24 days

Water only streak: 1 day

100 pushups a day streak: 3 days

Porn free: 3 days

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42 minutes ago, NannerZ said:

I've been having problems sleeping again

100 pushups a day streak: 3 days

 

I know what is problems with sleep, my solution was taking Melatonin before sleep, this a hormone that regulates sleep-wake cycles. During the sleep, our body produces hormones, like GH and testosterone that helps to get more muscles. I think was $13 in Las Vegas, this in Brazil is expensive like 1/5 of our minimum wage. So, I import.

Nice work being free of games for 24 days.

Edited by Dig

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23 hours ago, Dig said:

I know what is problems with sleep, my solution was taking Melatonin before sleep, this a hormone that regulates sleep-wake cycles. During the sleep, our body produces hormones, like GH and testosterone that helps to get more muscles. I think was $13 in Las Vegas, this in Brazil is expensive like 1/5 of our minimum wage. So, I import.

Nice work being free of games for 24 days.

I take melatonin almost every day, sometimes it helps. I think it's something in my head. Each evening when I think about sleep I begin to worry like "I hope I sleep tonight" "If I don't sleep how will I function tomorrow?" and I cannot relax. It's frustrating. If it continues I will need to go see a doctor. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. And thanks for the support

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Day 25: May 30, 2019

I slept okay last night, it was later than I wanted.. almost 3 am but I did get some sleep. I was so tired in the morning my brain convinced me to get mcdonald's breakfast again so I broke my water streak again. Ugh wtf. I have to stop this behavior. The good news is I moved my computer out of my bedroom today to try to help me sleep better.

The rest of the day went very well. Did cardio at the gym and was covered in sweat when I finished, 100 pushups and 60 minutes of walking. A little bit of studying also. I weighed myself today and I have lost 6.6 lbs since day 1 of the detox which is pretty cool. I think now that I've added the 100 pushups a day challenge and started to plan my days and meals this trend should continue and I'm super excited about it. The day I hit 10 lbs down will feel pretty good.    

3 more free days until I start my new job. I am a little nervous. I'm afraid I won't like it. I worry too much, it's a really bad habit.

Gaming free streak: 25 days

Water only streak: 0 days 🤬

100 pushups a day streak: 4 days

Porn free: 4 days

 

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4 hours ago, info-gatherer said:

Hey...I’m sorry it’s quite unrelated but if I may ask... how did you get to 100 pushups? I die after 5x2 lol.

Thanks for reading. I don't do 100 at once, it's just 100 in total for the whole day. I'm not in the best shape so I can only do about 20 or so at one time. But I get a little stronger each day.

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23 hours ago, NannerZ said:

I take melatonin almost every day, sometimes it helps. I think it's something in my head. Each evening when I think about sleep I begin to worry like "I hope I sleep tonight" "If I don't sleep how will I function tomorrow?" and I cannot relax. It's frustrating. If it continues I will need to go see a doctor. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. And thanks for the support

To the best of my knowledge, the frustration and the pressure only make it harder for you to fall asleep. Try unplugging yourself for quite a while before your bed time and do some calm activity in the meantime. Reading or meditation is always what people recommend. And when you are laid down, don't pressure yourself to sleep if it doesn't happen. Try the technique of putting your attention towards your breath, and breath slowly and deeply, or try to imagine yourself on a peaceful place that you would like to be and make it as vividly as possible. That's all the things I can recall having read about. Experiment for a while and see if some of this helps.

Edited by Ambassador
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On 5/31/2019 at 6:55 AM, NannerZ said:

I take melatonin almost every day, sometimes it helps. I think it's something in my head. Each evening when I think about sleep I begin to worry like "I hope I sleep tonight" "If I don't sleep how will I function tomorrow?" and I cannot relax. It's frustrating. If it continues I will need to go see a doctor. 

I have been having the exact same problem for months on and off, stressing about falling asleep at the right time. After all these months, with help from my family I came to realize I need to accept the stress when it comes. Tell myself, alright, well, right now you're stressed and you might not sleep immediately. This acceptance, when real, actually releases the fighting energy, the thing that keeps getting upset at the possibility of not falling asleep. Then I pick a thing to do, read, or listen to music, and without having that hard expectation of myself to fall asleep right here right now, I fall asleep soon enough. Cause acceptance, and working with reality, actually relaxes me and since no thought of conflict keeps energizing me, I fall asleep.

Not sure I described it perfectly but it all starts with accepting the problem and not fighting it, for me.

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