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WorkInProgress

Mario's Journal,

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@cam thank you in reality it should be like 79 days because i copied some old day numbers over time. But doesn't matter anyway :D

Day 77

- one workday without other obligations

- offline time

- birds chirping outside

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Day 78

Yesterday was productive. I started scheduling again after i read some good tipps about it the book "deep work"(awesome book btw.). The next exam is next week and so i increase my efforts. Lately i am beeing able to avoid my computer very often because i can study wihtoiut it and I read pretty muhc all my free time. I stopped exercising because i feel a lack of time right now. I will definetly pick i tup again next week but right now it isn't so important to me. Offline time is awesome. Without youtube and hourly checks of my emails/gamequitters/smartphone I am way more relaxed and feel more fokussed at my work. Hope things stay so well and I get this exam somehow handled. Wish me luck guys!

Gratitute

- I am alive

- I am improving

- I love reading

- I don't care if I have egocentric phases ;)

 

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Day 78

Yesterday was productive. I started scheduling again after i read some good tipps about it the book "deep work"(awesome book btw.). The next exam is next week and so i increase my efforts. Lately i am beeing able to avoid my computer very often because i can study wihtoiut it and I read pretty muhc all my free time. I stopped exercising because i feel a lack of time right now. I will definetly pick i tup again next week but right now it isn't so important to me. Offline time is awesome. Without youtube and hourly checks of my emails/gamequitters/smartphone I am way more relaxed and feel more fokussed at my work. Hope things stay so well and I get this exam somehow handled. Wish me luck guys!

Gratitute

- I am alive

- I am improving

- I love reading

- I don't care if I have egocentric phases ;)

 

Really appreciate you Mario!

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Day 79

I did some research and made a plan how I want to achieve a better skillset for my future job(besides studying for my exams). I do 45min/daily of english training on mesmerize(mainly to improve my prononciation) and start to get serious about programming. I found a nice coursera course about programming for scientific/engineering needs wich seems to be hard and wich commends the use of Linux. I will change my OS into Linux after my next exam. I allready bought a external hard drive to save a recovery of my system and save my data. I am fascinated by Linux for some time and worked a bit with it at my bachelor thesis. I think to have it as your only OS while help me to really dig down into the programming world. I am planning to learn some python and C++. It is all kind of exciting to me. Let's see where this goes.

Gratitute

- I can go Linux because I don't play games any more

- language learning software

- excitement of a new project

- "prepare-world-here-am-I-feeling"

- 90day detox

- waking up to "over the rainbow"

- 10finger writing proves usefull literally everywhere

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Glad to see you're getting so close to 90 days. Do you ever think about gaming still? Particularly after a successful day? I've had it just about every day so far. Like right now, I'm done with all the things I needed to do, and my first involuntary thought was just "Oh, I could fire up Steam or something." Then I remembered, and I was like, oh yeah.

You know, I had the same issue about switching to Linux before. You can't game as easily on them. Sure, it's doable, but it takes some finagling. I still don't think I want to switch over to it, though, mainly because I'm not big into programming and I've entertained the idea of learning, but that always seemed to be pretty difficult. I'll stick with what I know :P

In your case, though, it seems like it's relevant for you, and from what I know, Linux is definitely the way to go. Do you have any plans for making programs that you might release for people to use? Maybe working on some open source projects? There's a writer I follow who, before he got really into writing, learned how to program iOS apps, particularly when the iPad was announced. He taught himself and ended up working his way up to a six figure salary. If you're diligent, you could definitely do the same.

Good luck :) 

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@gank yeah i still have gaming thoughts on bad days. Was close of relapsing a week ago where i watched gamefootage again. Most of the times this thoughts come up if I am stressed or fear I can't get the things done i need to do(work for money,study for future,find internship for studies). Sometimes if something goes wrong i am depressed and see myself as dropout and failure(basically bullshit thoughts). Then I think about gaming  as a way out. But lately this feelings are more of a distant fantasy then a real possibility. Not watching youtube and not using the internet for entertainment(besides GQ and programming sites) helps me personally a lot.

So far I don't have plans to produce something people can use. In my imagination i optimize my own computerusage with tools(no details so far). I think I have to see what the possibilties are while I go and then make realistic projects.Maybe something wich saves my thoughts from a programming terminal to a textfile so i can make fast notes. So far I have to finish my obligations first wich takes my whole daytime because my discipline is still lacking.

Day 80

Yesterday afternoon was horrible. Procrastinated felt bad about it, procrastinated more, got a pressuring email from my subordinate at my sidejob, felt worse, layed down on my couch depressed and felt like shit. After 30min i got up, cleaned my kitchen and got some work done wich helped me mentally a bit. I still was pretty constructive in the morning but I hope that  today will be better.

Gratitude

- 80days!

- got a place on a studyrelated seminar for problem solving at saturday

- It is still possible to be prepared for my exam if i buckle up

- productive mornings

 

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 81

Gratitude

- cool journals to read

- cats wasting their energy outside instead of annoying me

- my supportive and awesome wife

- nice 20min meditation this morning

- comfy pyjama pants

 

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Day 82
The struggle with Linux is real but it helps that I understand the terminal all ready.  Well my browser is running Matlab is running too. Now I just need to create a virtual Windows partition for my office and I'm ready to go again. Everything seems to run faster but I am not sure if this is a result of Linux Mint or of the formatted hard disk. Everything else is business as usual. I'm kind of not motivated to study while my wife is here but I decided not to attend the meeting with her family this afternoon and will study then.

Gratitude

- ability to say no

- fresh muffins

- springvl

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 83

Well after seven days I will have completed this detox. Right now I am sure I wont game in the foreseeable future. I still have exams and appointments to write and I actually want to achieve more now. After Day90 I will stop porn and go exercising again(stopped last week due to time issues and laziness). Also things are looking better everywhere and true to the slight edge i will enjoy this but don't stop improving. I'm not sure if I keep this daily posts up in the future. I feel like I benefit a lot of offline time. And with my new found hobby of programming and understanding Linux I will be online too much anyway.  But one step at a time.

 Gratitude

- improving

- shortkeys

- nerdy is the new sexy

 

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@cam Thanks. I'mtrying to be proud of myself too :D

Day 84

Today is exam day. Again. I am not fully prepared. Again. My missing consequence hindered me a lot the last two weeks. I still did more then I would have done half a year ago but there is definitely room for improvement. But all in all, my exams went pretty well this semester. Gone from an C average at my bachelor to a B average in my master which is ok. For now ok is enough. I'm aiming for super though.

Gratitude

- people who are willing to listen to my ramblings

- birds chirping in my garden

- scent of rain

- peace

 

 

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Day 85

The oral exam went ok. Got a B but got some good tips from my professor how to improve( I should speak more precise and to the point). I could feel that he rather given me a better grade but in two weeks I have an other exam by the same professor. If I can improve on the things he mentioned I'm sure this will go even better. I don't think that i can start my internship next week. All my appointements wasn't answered or came back negative. I will write some more today(2-3) and will let my wife double check them. Maybe I am doing something wrong.

My mood is good though and even if I'm not exactly antifragile I get more resilient towards the challenges that arise. Yesterday for example I was in panic before the exam. Still got some learning done and to breath slow and rationalize the meaning of this single exam helped a lot.

today I will start working out again. It takes some time but if I evaluate the time where I stopped I think it's worth it. I just feel way more in balance if I work out.

Gratitude

- life

- love

- learning

 

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Day 86

I wanted to do some exercise before I start journalling but I just went zombie-like to my computer and did what I did the last two weeks. Always surprising how hard it can be to change my habits. I think I write down why I want to do some things, to keep me committed in a similar way as I did with stop gaming.

I managed to set up my computer  in a organized way. Main OS is LinuxMint and on the VirtualBox I have Windows10 and can do my work which requires the usage of excel. So far  good. Now I can dig deeper into Linux(I found a good free e-book about it which I started to work through)

Meditation(20min/day):   get win

It helps me to be more mindful and in control of my life. It helps me to deal with stress and to strengthen my ability to focus.

Jogging/Bw-Exercise(40min 6days/week):

It counteracts my back pain which occurs if I sit too long in front of a computer. It feels good if I worked out and fought through. My body is warm and I get a little dopamine rush. I will build some muscles which will look awesome. I get more self confidence because I am able to stick to a routine

Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning):

Helps me being in charge of the things I want to do.  Helps me to decide what I want/have to do next without being influenced by urges. Helps me to being more effective with my time and forces me to prioritize.

Gratitude

- feeling in charge of my life.

- clean kitchen

- goals

 

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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@Falky Thanks for the encouragement. I shall write my name in the hall of fame soon ;)

Day 87

Lately I stopped exercising and some other good things I did over the detox. I think my mood and my productivity will improve if I tackle these goals with consistency. Yesterday did I wrote up the reasons why and how often I want to do them. Afterwards I was pretty motivated and got all things done. I decided to add some streak counters here, to follow my progress on consistency. I stopped studying English every day because it took to much time of my mourning routine. Maybe I will introduce it again later on. Right now I have enough things to improve and I want to prioritize my programming/scripting skills.

Meditation(20min/day):  Day 1

Jogging/Bw-Exercise(40min 6days/week):  Day 1

Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning):  Day  1

Gratitude

- nice sleep today

- funny dreams(really strange stuff but kind of adventurous too)

- productive morning

- my mother and sisters

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 87 ( afternoon)

Had a horrible day. After the meditation and the jogging I found blood prints on the floor. On of my cats cut himself on the paw. I disinfected it and hoped he would walk normally after some rest. I watched porn. Then I gone on youtube:( then I watched gaming footage for 6hours. In the afternoon I came to my senses.  Now my head aches my shoulders are tense and hurting and I feel like I felt if I gamed away all day :(. And my cat got up and doesn't put weight on his injured paw. Now I can't go to the pet doctor because it is weekend and have to hope it gets better by itself or I have to go to the (expensive and bad) emergency clinic. That I didn't do anything productive means that I have to do work hard at the weekend and don't have time for my wife. Now I will have to tell my wife that I didn't do anything the whole day and there are no appointments to review. Hoped I was over that point... Well now I will do some cleaning.

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 88

Initially I wanted to play again after the detox but right now it feels like I can't handle it. Yesterday showed this to me in a harsh way. I didn't even actually game and still was in the same shame spiral. What did I learn from it? No porn ever again.

 

Meditation(20min/day):  Day 2

Jogging/Bw-Exercise(40min 6days/week):  Day 2

Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning):  Day  2

Gratitude

- my wife

- cat looks ok

- coffee

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 89

Didn't exercise yesterday so I guess Saturday will be the day where I recover from now on. Sadly I drank yesterday a little too much booze and was up until 1am. Was fun but to meditate this morning was kind of hard(still did it though). The commitment with this streak counter helps my motivation a lot. I guess it is the accountability and the daily reflection of my reasons.

Tomorrow I will have made the detox and I am proud of it but there is so much to improve! Damn seems like the self-development community got my hooked. No I have no option but to become awesome ;)

Meditation(20min/day):  Day 3

Jogging/Bw-Exercise(40min 6days/week):  Day 3

Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning):  Day  3

 

 

 

 

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Day 90! BOOYA! 18/4/2016

finish detox: check

feeling awesome : check

Hey guys, I actually did it and it is a nice feeling. It shows me that I can achieve things with the proper planning and some time and motivation. I can do everything which is possible for other humans out there. Thanks to all in this forum and to our "guru" Cam( don't think I will kneel know though ;)). It was  a hell of ride and still is because I have many things I want to tackle now. I cancelled yesterday a LAN-Party which I planned to attend after the detox. I just don't feel like to spent a weekend gaming. With Linux Mint on my computer installing oldschool-games would be a hazzle and for the new games my computer is too weak anyway. It feels like I left a big weight behind me and can now stand up again and face the world.

I will stick to the community and I will continue writing here but I'll try a weekly format  for now and exchange the gratitude journal with a personal gratitude meditation.

I want to be more productive now and finally stick to my morning routine. I limited my Gamequitters time to 45min/day with Leechblock and won't have the time to read every journal know that so much new ones appear (which is awesome btw). Also I will focus on getting a little bit buffed after my last exam next Tuesday. I all ready started my training so it is time to get serious with nutrition( this is a good time anyway because my wife tries to loose weight and so I can support her this way). I plan to monitor what I eat with the same app my wife is using. After 2 weeks of monitoring I will measure my average calorie intake and eat a little more whilst focussing on the right balance of macro nutritions.

This summer I will be mentally and physically in the shape of my life. People in games told me to get a life. Suck it bitches :D!

 

Meditation(20min/day):  Day 4

Jogging/Bw-Exercise(20min/40min 6days/week):  Day 4

Daily plan(at the end of the working day + in the morning):  Day  4

 

Edited by WorkInProgress
added date. Otherwise I will never remember my counts xD

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Great work finishing the detox brother! Can't wait to be there with ya! I'm nearly half way there myself.

You've always been around to comment on my journals and I just want to thank you for that. It feels nice knowing people are seeing my progress. It's kind of gratifying.

Congratulations! Here's to new life for you my man!

Edited by Merdoc_Rowboat

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