I think Simon is right. It may not seem like abig thing but it is great to have these three months of not gaming to look back to. It is not worth it to sacrifice that feeling of accomplishment for something so easily evaded. Also it can help to show friends what you doing and why you are doing it. This will make the detox more real for you.
Yeah I liked deep work. An other book I read lately which isn't about selfdevelopment but really interesting is "The soul of a new machine". It tells the story of the development of a "micro"-computer and the people working on it. It is really well written too.
Good that you be aware of that. You#ll never know if people dissapearing relapsed. But I think a lot of people just try to live without an open diary because it has some privacy issues and the goal is to not need it anymore at some point. Maybe we'll see them return if we stick to the forum. I saw a lot of people leave and reenter the forum over the last two years.
Hey Rem. I always was pretty nervous at practice hours for my driving lesson and did a lot of dumb mistakes. But at the exam I was calm and fokussed. Adrenalin can work wonders. A thing which helped me if I was anxious a at home was to imagine all the idiots who allready passed that test.
I do two things: First I try to fokus on the most important changes and go all in on them. For example while I first started my detox I only fixed no gaming and let the rest of bad habits optional (netflix, browsing, porn...). I kept an eye on them but I didn't vowed to because I knew that I first had to strenghten my discipline. If I am honest I just tried to make the barriers as high as possible so that I couldn't return. Because I knew that my self-discipline is really bad.This meant for me deleating my steam account and installing linux on my home computer. I also made it a habbit to always tell it here and to my wife if I fucked up the things I planned. Basically if you don't want to eat sweets anymore make sure not to buy them. Also make sure that when you fuck up even with high barriers you'll have to endure negative consequences directly. One interesting approach is it to give money to a friend who ahs to donate it to some really bad people (klu-klux-klan/ or anything you reall hate) if you fuck up.
An accountability partner is just someone to talk/write to on a more personal base. Best you two just make an arrangment which works for both you timewise. Every week a skype call/ long email is a nice modell.
Hey now you can see a pattern and learn from it. You felt bad because of school and dealt with it the way you did. Now it is important to analyze the situation and think of better solutions. If you don't have enough time I would recommend you to alter your sleep routine and carve out an hour or so before your schoolday. If you are able to do that stuff before your day begins this can be a real powerful way to start the day. Obviously you have to go earlier to bed if you want to do that.
Hi there good job on making a plan and going the first steps. Be carefull not to overdue it. I personally got often excited about big chancesand planning them out. BUt after the firstexcitement is gone you need to stick to the plans and that's when it gets boring and hard. You will the doubt your past decisions and fall back in your old habbits. Plan for that time in front. Make big plans but start small . If you'll do it the hardcore way and go for A whole ban of all your bad habits this is gonna be hard after the first motivation fades. I would focus less on cutting bad things out of your life and more on ways how to build good habits. I.e. do sport everyday, read meet with people you like. If you still try it that way this is ok but then I would add some stakes to just writing here. A possibility is to give a friend a substantial amount of money which he has to spend on an organisation you hate (i.e. klu-klux-clan) if you fail your well specified goal.
Good job on investing in your marriage. Back in my gamer days I did also lie to my wife about gaming while she was away working. That I stopped gaming and doing this gamequitter think online I did also hide before here until some weeks into it because I was so ashamed for myself. I finally stopped lying told her everything and thank god she did support me. I am now 1,5 years gamefree(with some hickups) andwas able to finish my mastersdegree with good marks and will be soon father. Our relationshship is so much depper then before. Ss I was gaming (sometimes functional sometimes binging and in secret) my self-esteem was at rock-bottom and I start building it up brick by brick. Keep going on this route. It is worth the trouble!
Hey good job that you seem to make moderation work for you ( for me there was never a "moderation" it always developped to binging). May I ask why you stoped the detox after 50days instead of the 90 you aimed for?
What you are experiencing is a missing purpose in life. I don't think that living by is a society thing. It is just way easier then searching actively for a purpose. Ironically school is important for most great purposes. For example if you want to save lifes becoming a doctor is a great way to do so. Or you'll become an engineer in medicin technique. For both you need good marks in school (and you learn a lot of other usefull things there to).As long a you don't know what to do with your life (which is pretty normal for people under 30) you should explore alot of things and keep your options open. As soon as you find an activity/goal/study subject you are really burning for then you can make a good specific plan and grow your character at the try of achieving it. This is the part where you either go all in on school or studies or find something which is more important for you. If you haven't found that purpose try out a bunch off stuff (examples are: toastmasters, reading, travelling, writing shortstories, martial arts, side-work in different businesses, investing, programming, meditation, tinkering wiht electronics, building things etc.). To try something out choose one thing and promise yourself to to it seriously for a fixed amount of time. Otherwise you will never get enough experience in it to make a informed choice about liking it or not, A good amount of time is 2-8h a Week for 4 Weeks. Another protipp is listening to biographies of a bunch of different successful people. his can be really inspiring. Edit: A lot of self-development skills like disciplin, grid, ambition and social competence are developed if you try to improve them actively at school. School can be a great training ground. If you are able to focus on a repetetive shitwork and recognize your emotions and deal with them this can be a sort of meditation too.
Hey there first of all good job with quitting for 20 days and doing so mcuh more constructive things. A thing which you have to realise is that gaming is in many ways a bandage. If you rip it off all the other little or big problems bubble up and hurt. Keep in mind that this is good. If you doesn't feel that hurt you'll will stay in this position for every if no lucky chance is happening. I think you don't need to do much more but just keep on doing what you allready doing. Don't hide your feelings of loneliness before yourself keep trying constructive things and your life will get better. Not that the world is changing but if you keep on going you'll see opportunities. Also it is normal to be frustrated sad or angry, As long as it isn't a permanent state of mind this is fine and even a good sign (https://markmanson.net/happiness-not-enough). Best of luck to you. Hang in there, I can say out of personal experience that it is worth the hassle.
Hi Primmulia, this sounds serious and it is a great step to open up about it. I would really davice you to talk about it with our aunt. You have no reason to feel ashamed, because you doesn't made a concious decision to feel that way you just do. So get out of the shame spiral and talk with the people who care about you. In my experience this vulnerability leads only to stronger connection. To admit that you have a problem is hard but very important. You'll see that if you let the shame go solutions will appear. Best of luck to you I am wishing you the best.
Hey there. THat sucks. Maybe think of one thing you could do everyday which would make your life better. Everyday you nothing your life gets worse. But everyday you do alittle thing better then the day before your life gets a bit better. This accumulates over time. You seem desperate and overwhelmed by to much ambition. I thik you should choose one aspect of your life where you suffer the most. And then do one little seemingly insignificant thing to make this aspect better. If you don't have ideas for small things to do just post the area and we can give oyu suggestions.