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WorkInProgress

Mario's Journal,

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Day 55 Time to take stock

It is the 55th day of my detox and time to take stock. What goals did i set? What have I achieved in these 55 days?

I achieved only 10% of my goals .  I realized often  it just isn't that important to get good english grammar or good handwriting. I had to stop computergames. At this point I have a clear reward of it. Things where I neither have a passion for nor a reward are hard for me to achieve. And if I am honest I don't feel bad about not achieving them. I keep them somewhere back in my mind and maybe I come back to these goals maybe not. These are like 50% of my failed goals

Other things are important for me and I didn't do enough but improved. I didn't study as much as would be needed and as much as i could. My daily and weekly plan is still not working out as i want to. I haven't made a cleaning schedule and therefore can't stick to it. But i clean the appartement more often in general and do some things I don't have to in addition to this. I had some good talks with my friends and my family but not often enough for my liking. I found no other great hobbies then reading classics. Darts and juggling just got boring aslonf as i did them all for myself. I still need to find a more active hobby and something more social. Right now I am thinking about playing piano again and starting some kickboxing(kind of social). Another thing i want to do is to create my own boardgame. These are things I'm working on right now. I think I didn't hit all my goals here because it is hard to change a lot in a short time. I needed some time to clarify what is really important for me. Some ideas need to grow in my mind before i take action. Some goals need longer to reach but every step towards them is helpfull allready and brings you a little closer to the desired status quo.

What did I accomplish? I worked a lot on my realtionsship with my wife, I did start an exercising habbit wich I go through with most of the time, I started reading and thinking about stuff again. I feel that I do a good job at my sidejob and not just surviving the day. I completed  three exams and feel confident that the grades are good. I didn't game for 55days!

Gratitude

- I am on a path i like

- writing

- confidence

- knowing what to do next

 

Edited by WorkInProgress
typos everywhere

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Day 54

Yesterday was an energy low and didnt got anything done. I didn't exerise because my hands are very dry and got some wounds because of it. I highly suspect that is the reason for my missing energy. I will go back to jogging everyday until this is properly healed.

 

Hey there! Do you know the reason for this? Were you dehydrated? Drinking more water is something I would definitely recommend to a lot of people! xD

Edited by Mark

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@mark the doctor says it is neurodermitis but i am not so sure... However the urea salve works against this it just gets worse for some time then i put some salve on it and it dissapears. If i don't do that my skin at some parts of my hands is getting very dry and easy to wound. Dehiydration is not the case though  because I drink around 2-3liters of water every day.

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 57

Yesterday I started a new mindfullness practice and was shocked by the results.

A few weeks ago I read about a study of obese people who tried to loose weight. One group had to write a fooddiary one day a week.  Another group shouldn't do it and both were set on a diet. The group with the journal had better results in a short period and the sucess would be longer lasting too. I think it comes all down to mindfullness. If you just list what you do this is pure self-honesty, and this is a point wich is hard for me. I tried to make daily plans and todo-lists and I was never  able to complete them. This time I would try it from a different angle and just list all the things i do for one day. If it helped obese people this thing could help me to. Here are my results( I wrote them  all in a textfile):

5:00 - 6:00     wife | news | cats
6:00 - 6:40    gamequitters | markmanson.net
6:40 - 6:50     shave | brush teeth
6:50 - 7:05     meditate
7:05 - 7:45     clean kitchen | laundry
7:45 - 8:25     BW-training  | shower
8:25 - 8:45     gamequitters + burnout artikel
8:45 - 9:00     youtube: public piano clip
9:00 - 9:25     make brunch and eat it
9:25 - 9:50     clean kitchen again 
9:50 - 10:40     work
10:40 - 10:52    piano practice
10:52 - 11:05    laundry
11:05 - 11:35    read comics
11:35 - 12:00    "power" nap
12:00 - 12:10    study
12:10 - 12:50    youtube: Athlean-X
12:50 - 13:00    Porn
13:00 - 13:25    eat |  read on markmanson.net
13:25 - 13:45    youtube: awesome people clips
13:45 - 14:15    piano training
14:15 - 14:45    studying
14:45 - 16:00    research boardgames |  google Deathpoolfacts
16:00 - 16:30    gamequitters | laundry

16:30 - 21:00   vaccinate cats at the doctor | cook | play a  cardgame with my wife

 

Why am i shocked of the results? I have an exam in 9days and the prioritys i wish to have in my daily plan are something like this: 

studies including appointements for an internship > social life > house work > work > freetime

But i studied only for one hour yesterday. That isn't  even close to my desired effort. I did some good stuff and I obviously implemented some good habbits. It wasn't a terrible day but my prioritys are way off. If I am able to do studying instead of the red points it would have been an awesome day. Another thing I realized is a energy low around 11 a'clock. I will try to fix it with sport at this time instead of morning sport. I will continue this experiment but this will be the only time i post my results because it takes a lot of space and is kind of private. II think it will help me to get more quality out of my days. What are your thoughts about this?

Gratitude

- water

- good ideas

- reflection

- arriving spring

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 58

Good Morning everyone. Yesterday was a bit better. It helped alot to go for sport at 11 a'clock. I had some constructive high fokus study session wiich sum up to 2hours of studying. Until 2am I was very content and felt good with my day. After lunch i had a low and thougt a power nap would help me. It was a bad idea wich clearly didn't work for me. I spent like 2hours in bed and told myself I am resting for concentration. Didnt get anything done after that  besides going out to buy groceries. I realised how my mood got very dark because i didn't do anything.

I read an interesting  article about the pillars of selfdiscipline wich made some points about willpowertraining more clear for me. I realized that i wasn't aware about my willpower capability. The author takes the willpower-muskel-analogy and says you have to train with the weights wich are close to your personal maximum to get a increase in your willpower. But you have to know what your able to do, before you can efficiently train your willpower. The list of my actions seems to be a good tool for that purpose. I will slowly build up my work pensum with attention on my energy levels and try to find the optimal dayplan for me. After I followed this optimal dayplan for some time( maybe a workweek) I will plan more working time and less distraction. Hopefully i can increase my work output slowly by this method and have more freetime in the afternoon and at the weekends. Would be awesome to be content with my working state at the weekend and have free time for personal projects there. If I have to work reguarly for 8 hours a day after university, i want to be prepared.

The goal for the week is to plan my next day every evening and get atleast three hours of studying and one hour of work done every day. So far I follow my dailyplan and have allready studied for one hour! Let's see how the rest of the day works out. Wish me luck guys and girls!

Gratitude

- I have a plan to solve my problems

- awareness

- hopefully at least 50 years of life in front of me

- found an awesome present for a friend

 

 

 

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 59

Gratitude

- beeing able to reflect on things and people beeing gratefull for it

- beeing able to share some experiences

- nice weather

- forcing myself into studying is working out ok

-

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nice weather

Tell me about it! Today has felt like a typical June day rather than a March one. Being from the UK, I didn't know what to do with myself :P

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Day 60

I didn't get enough sleep last night and i realize how it lowers my willpower. The last two days I was much fitter and got some studying done. Today the main fokus lays more on appointments because i got three declines for my appointments so far and i need to complete 3months of internship to start my master. Hopefully  something comes up. If these declines keep coming, I will have to widen my search and apply for internships i don't find interesting, wich I would rather not do. But we'll see what happens. even if i just find something sounding boring you never know if it isn't a big chance to learn something new. First of all I have to write more appointements and I didn't do it yesterday even if my googlekalendar said me i should do it (Instead i cleaned the kitchen for 2 hours). Today is a new day though, tired not motivated and  annoyed but  I still will do it.

I will stop coffein for a week now. Kind of gone over top with my 5 big cups of coffee everyday. I think i need a little break from this. I always thought it just doesn't work for me, because i can drink coffee before i go to bed and still sleep fine. But it is hard not to drink coffee so i guess there is some sort of weak addiction happening. Also i give no porn a new try.

Gratitude

- tea

- starting to get a grasp of my standard amount of willpower, now i can train it

- thoughts of a lazy morning and having a way to deal with them

- clean kitchen

- day 60

 

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The goal for the week is to plan my next day every evening

 

 

 

Does this work for you? i just implented this yesterday, and i start it today. Curious about your experience!

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last two days it worked ok. Had to switch some thigns around but  I did 90% of what i planned to do. today i failed horrible. It is 12pm and i still havent done anything. Well i start now and tomorow will be the next try.

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The right amount of sleep is crucial for maintaining your willpower. Anytime I get a bit off track I immediately think about if I've been getting enough sleep, if I've been exercising, eating healthy, etc. Usually one of those is off so I'm off. ;)

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The goal for the week is to plan my next day every evening

Does this work for you? i just implented this yesterday, and i start it today. Curious about your experience!

Works very well for me!

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Day 62

I am well rested today and slept awesome for 10 hours. First time in along time that i slept longer then 7pm becasue i could feed my casts at 5:30 and go to bed straight away. Maybe this is the first result of quitting coffee. I feel full of power and the first thing i did is come herein this forum. It is really awesome to read all this journals up here. You can see how many people improve themselves step by step and master their live. It is really inspiring and i feel honored to be a part of it.

@cam Thank you for creating this community!

Yesterday was ok. I thought a lot about a thing i read in book about willpower. Moral Licensing. After a "good" action or thought you are more suspectible to doing "bad" things. For example if you did your exercise and you think of it as good actions you reward yourself with a pie and 2 hours for the tv. Your goal was to get fit and loose some weight but you counteract it without any bad thoughts because you reward yourself. I do this all the time. I do something and feel unproportionally good about it. And then i lack the motivation to do new stuff. For example I make an awesome dayplan.. I feel good and don't do what i wrote on the plan. Kind of strange and unlogical behaviour but I do it.  The author stated that you can counteract this if you  think about thie things you did well and ask yourself why you did them( get ripped, get a good college degree etc.) I try this out now and hope that it improves my mindset and my actions.

Gratidude

- sleep

- inspiring journals

- quark with honey

 

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Those are really good insights about how we can sabotage our goal-setting by rewarding ourselves with things that will only set us back.  Eg.  exercise => reward of a pie.  Although, after I exercise and eat healthy for one week, I allow myself one meal a week that is a bit unhealthy.  But I think you mean rewarding yourself with pie after every work-out is not a healthy thing to do.  I'm glad  you shared how to counteract this by reminding ourselves how much we've achieved and why we did it.  I wonder...would a visual sense of achievement help too?   Kind of like when you get gold stars as a kid for completing your homework?  If a person can SEE how much they've accomplished over time (accumulation of gold stars for task completion), would this be helpful?  I wonder.......

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@dannigan I think the main point is that you shouldn't moralize the things you do. You aren't good or bad because you exercise. The study she cites was about sexist behaviour. People wer asked if they find the statemant ok that woman should usually work at home and not at businuess. After that question they should evaluate some applications. And exactly these people who did dislike the statement as sexist were underevaluating the woman! They felt good because they answered  "right"  and didn't pay attention to their behaviour afterwards because tehy felt so good about themselfs. The same effect showed itself if they even just read about such statements before!  And other studys showed the same effect  relating to eating behaviour. People are more likely to choose a unhealthy dish if they were asked before what dish is healthier. They showed that this results were diminished if they were asked in addition to this why they where on a diet. Then people were reminded abotu teh reason and wasn't temptet to eat so much crap

I think the main takeaway here is not to stop rewarding yourself. but if you are proud of your achievement to stop a moment and think about why you did this. You actually don't do exercise because you think it is morally right. You do it because it benefits your goals, makes your healthier more energetic and gives you the body you like. It has nothing to do with morals. This prevents you from Moral Licensing.

Yeah I think visualisation can help here. Like a calender where you mark your gamefree days. You aren't tempted so fast to break the streak to reward yourself. This journal is a kind of visualisation too.

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- productive arguing

That's definitely something to be grateful for. When my gf and I argue, I usually end up beating myself up and it derails the whole point of the argument. It's something I'm working on. 

 

One book that might help a lot is Non-Violent Communication. Check it out

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Day 64

I watched some warcraft videos on youtube jsut to check if i still feel urges to play. I am actually not sure how it would be if i start gaming warcraft 3 again. This  was my last addiction of me again before my detox. There are many good times drawn to it and the main timewaste was while i played custom games. Not sure if this is a attempt of my brain to turn me back on the wrong path though. Well first I will finish my detox then I will think about this again and maybe I try to play it again for some time. In the meantime i realized that watching gaming videos is kind of pointless if you dont game. Whatched like 3 hours today and was bored. I quit watching and started to read nonfiction(The Willpower Instinct Dr. Kelly McGonigal). Ah and my exam today went great. Got a 1,3 wich is the second best grade possible(1,0 would eb the best).

Gratitude

- gaming videos are kind of boring

- leftovers

- energy without coffein

- examday

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Day 64

I watched some warcraft videos on youtube jsut to check if i still feel urges to play. I am actually not sure how it would be if i start gaming warcraft 3 again. This  was my last addiction of me again before my detox. There are many good times drawn to it and the main timewaste was while i played custom games. Not sure if this is a attempt of my brain to turn me back on the wrong path though. Well first I will finish my detox then I will think about this again and maybe I try to play it again for some time. In the meantime i realized that watching gaming videos is kind of pointless if you dont game. Whatched like 3 hours today and was bored. I quit watching and started to read nonfiction(The Willpower Instinct Dr. Kelly McGonigal). Ah and my exam today went great. Got a 1,3 wich is the second best grade possible(1,0 would eb the best).

Gratitude

- gaming videos are kind of boring

- leftovers

- energy without coffein

- examday

Day 64, blimey good job Mario! Yeah Every now and again I watch perhaps one gaming video to see how my urges are holding up. To tell you the truth, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be and I can agree with you that it is rather boring when you don't play anymore.

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