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Mohammad's Journal


Mohammad
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I am back after seven months. I bought a high-end computer and monitor in March 2021 and totally gave up on quitting. Here is what happened:

I have been working 7.5 hours, five days a week, and gaming 3-4 hours every night. On the weekends, I have been with my son during the day and start gaming at nights. It’s been very upsetting for me since I am literally behind my computer most of the waking hours either working or gaming.

I feel very depressed and my physical health is deteriorating due this hectic lifestyle.

 

in 2020 that I was active here, I was going to the gym 3 days a week on average and I finished 12 non-fiction books. During my detox, I felt so happy and strong: in control of my life. This year, on the other hand, I have finished one book and have been to gyn 4-5 times a month on average.

This gaming disorder is killing me slowly. I need to stop it to gain my strength, motivation and happiness in life. The temptation is so hard to resist so not sure what I should do.

I am here again to give it another try because that’s all can do. This is my first day for a 90-day detox.

 

 

 

 

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Welcome back!


Having a balance with gaming can be challenging. Can understand what you've gone through. After the  first detox>returned to gaming, but it quickly escalated to several hours devoted everyday. It began to be detrimental since it took up a large portion of my days.

You've taken the first step. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

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3 hours ago, ChewyChickenBones said:

Welcome back!


Having a balance with gaming can be challenging. Can understand what you've gone through. After the  first detox>returned to gaming, but it quickly escalated to several hours devoted everyday. It began to be detrimental since it took up a large portion of my days.

You've taken the first step. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

It absolutely is detrimental. I feel so depressed just because of gaming. I am going to try as hard as I can. I will continue even if I relapse a thousand times!

I am going to make it work 😊

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Day 2:

I did not have any temptations for the 2nd day. I am very tired today since I couldn’t sleep well last night (my son is sick😞). Worked the whole day and spent the rest with my son. I did clean up the house. I am going to meditate and read before falling sleep.

I am happy that the 2nd day of detox was a breeze. I am so happy that I am doing this 😊😊😊

I am planning to wake up earlier in the mornings so gonna go to bed as early as 9-10 pm

 

Edited by Mohammad
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Day 3:

Little to no temptations. I worked during the day and play with my son after work. I also cleaned the house.

My son went to bed so I have some free time now. I want to go to gym but feel so tired! I need to buy some groceries. Don’t have too much time during the weekdays and I get so tired after work 😞


 

 

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2 hours ago, Mohammad said:

Day 3:

Little to no temptations. I worked during the day and play with my son after work. I also cleaned the house.

My son went to bed so I have some free time now. I want to go to gym but feel so tired! I need to buy some groceries. Don’t have too much time during the weekdays and I get so tired after work 😞


 

 

I ended up doing workout and meditation  tonight 😃

so far so good

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Day 4 with no temptations. It used to be difficult to stop gaming even for a few days but thankfully, I am not getting any temptations!

hope I can keep this up. As usual, worked the day, spent evening with my son and did some yoga-meditation before hitting the bed.

I will read a bit before sleeping 🙂

 

 

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Day 5;

 

pretty healthy day with no gaming temptations! 
woke up 7 am and did yoga for 30 mints, meditation for 5 and start work at 8:30. Finished work, played with my son and hit the gym for a 30 minutes cardio exercise. 
 

it’s a bit late now but going to bed; hopefully, can wake up early enough in the morning to do the yoga before work.

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Day 6: 

I woke up this morning at 7:50 am for work. I was dreaming playing dota 2 with my favorite character 😂. The dream  was super fun so I tried to get back to it for another 10 minutes so I can enjoy a bit more of it. It didn’t happen so I woke up and start working after a quick breakfast. 

so yea, today, I have strong temptations. I am very tired because of hard work and now feel so bored. I have nothing to enjoy other thab gaming! That’s obviously a big issue. My routine while not gaming is just self-development. So whenever I stop gaming, I just do daily workout, meditation and all these type of self-improvement.

I can start watching Netflix so I can relax and have fun. However, after watching Netflix for a while, I would feel wasted again and then probably relapse. I feel that now that I am wasting my time on Netflix, why not game so I enjoy it at least.

I won’t relapse tonight since I am serious to end this gaming issue but I know I am close to relapse. I need to do something about it.

as @Ikarmentioned, I may just go for a walk knowing that tomorrow is a new day. I don’t want to get depressed again.

 

It’s already weekend but I have nothing fun to refresh for the next week. I have to play with my son all day long for the next two days and at nights, doing workout and meditations! Also, there are some work-related things that I have putting off for a while and need to do sooner or later. So it’s basically work, work and work for me😞

My relationship with my wife is also bad so I don’t see much light in my life 😞

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1 hour ago, Mohammad said:

Day 6: 

I woke up this morning at 7:50 am for work. I was dreaming playing dota 2 with my favorite character 😂. The dream  was super fun so I tried to get back to it for another 10 minutes so I can enjoy a bit more of it. It didn’t happen so I woke up and start working after a quick breakfast. 

so yea, today, I have strong temptations. I am very tired because of hard work and now feel so bored. I have nothing to enjoy other thab gaming! That’s obviously a big issue. My routine while not gaming is just self-development. So whenever I stop gaming, I just do daily workout, meditation and all these type of self-improvement.

I can start watching Netflix so I can relax and have fun. However, after watching Netflix for a while, I would feel wasted again and then probably relapse. I feel that now that I am wasting my time on Netflix, why not game so I enjoy it at least.

I won’t relapse tonight since I am serious to end this gaming issue but I know I am close to relapse. I need to do something about it.

as @Ikarmentioned, I may just go for a walk knowing that tomorrow is a new day. I don’t want to get depressed again.

 

It’s already weekend but I have nothing fun to refresh for the next week. I have to play with my son all day long for the next two days and at nights, doing workout and meditations! Also, there are some work-related things that I have putting off for a while and need to do sooner or later. So it’s basically work, work and work for me😞

My relationship with my wife is also bad so I don’t see much light in my life 😞

Light can be seen as knowledge, and ignorance as darkness. Naturally light will illuminate a dark place. Find what you need to stay in the detox, try new things; your choices have impacts on not only yourself but also others. Open your heart and let it guide you as a lighthouse shows passage for ships which are blinded by the night. Our support is with you all the way.

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  • 4 months later...

I am back again to start a new detox.

I should admit my life has improved a lot since I started to quite gaming. Even though I have failed to quite gaming yet, I made significant progress in my life by just tryimg to quite!

I have spend about 2-3 hours daily gaming and that is still quite a lot. I have to quite gaming to live a life I desire.

This is the first day of the new detox.

I did workout for two hours and read book for 1.5 hours. I have been doing workout at least three days a week in the past two months.

I have been eating healthy food and keeping track of carb and calories intake in the past two months.

 

I think I am ready for the detox now 🙂

lets do it!

 

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Day 3 to 6:

I don’t have any cravings. I am working most Of my time. I am still doing 3 days per weak workout as a minimum.

I have been working over the past few weekends, and I need to work this weekend as well.

I am seriously considering improving my relationship with my spouse. Also, spending more quality time With my son.

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Day 7 to 11:

I am doing very good. I have no temptation.

spending quality time with my son and wife.

Working passionately at nights or going to the gym.

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Day 12 of detox:

Just a typical day with no temptation for gaming.

I worked, cooked lunch, played with my son and went to the gym.

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Day 13 and 14: 

I was tempted to play in the past two days but managed to control myself. It was very close, indeed! It is very critical for me not to play. 

 

 

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day 15 and 16: 

I haven't played any games yet but I have strong urges to play a few games tonight! Not sure what to do now! I think that I can play a game or two and that's gonna be it. Playing in moderation. However, I know this a trap 😞

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On 4/4/2022 at 8:54 PM, Mohammad said:

I have strong urges to play a few games tonight! Not sure what to do now! I think that I can play a game or two and that's gonna be it.

definitely a trap!  If there's something you can do to help get games further away from your mind it will help a lot. For example if you still have games / game systems you can still be rid of then do that. Think about every little way you are being reminded that games even exist and what can you do to change this? If used to gaming in a particular room on computer maybe good to move computer to other room or eventually start thinking of ways to replace having a computer in the home.

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