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Mohammad's Journal


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Day 8 (Sep. 10):

No temptation and no gaming. All good and healthy 🙂

Today, I finished my dissertation and sent it to my supervisors for review. I am planning to graduate in two months and super excited about it 🙂

Edited by Mohammad
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I started to quit gaming forever. I did it before, but I never managed to keep it up. It usually lasts for few days and then, I get back to my gaming habits. I hope this website and all the instructio

Day 4:   I did not play last night. My friends came by and after they left, I read for half an hour before going to bed. I am trying to focus on my long term goals and desires to block insta

Day 46 to 50:   I had no urge for gaming. I have been very motivated and tried to use every minute of my day to improve. I am very happy for this.  I think removing the steam account wa

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Day 10 (Sep. 12th):

 

I had an okay day today. I am feeling a little tempted to play some games! I guess I am a little bored with life. There is not much I can do at this time. I spend most of my day with my family. I did some exercises, and read books for 1.5 hours. 

 

I need to remember and focus on my feelings after gaming. Gaming destroys my self confidence and has to be avoided at all cost!

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Day 11 (Sep. 13):

 

I did not play last night even though I was very bored. I was not sure how to pass the time. I felt down and could not focus much on my work. Anyway, I procrastinated a little bit in the social media and read for half an hour before going to bed. That was such a big accomplishment in my view because I was depressed and bored but yet did not game. 

 

Today, I am feeling better and motivated. I will try to use any second of my time to move forward for my goals and dreams.

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Day 13,14 (Sep. 15,16th):

I played again on Sep. 15th. In fact, I did not do anything productive that day which is a shame!

However, I am back on track again so that was a short relapse. Hopefully, I  can avoid another relapse. I am feeling motivated today which is good.

Edited by Mohammad
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Okay, I fell for it again last night! I think it was okay though. After 20 days of hard work, gaming for 2-3 hours is acceptable if I am not doing it again at least for a week or two. Regardless, I have to reset this detox. This is nothing but painful to start over 😞

That 2-3 hours wasted on gaming was the time I should have spent on workout and reading. 

 

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43 minutes ago, Mohammad said:

I think it was okay though. After 20 days of hard work, gaming for 2-3 hours is acceptable if I am not doing it again at least for a week or two.

Hello. You are making excuses. Every time I started making excuses I ended up with failure. I don’t suggest you starting it. Maybe you should reconsider your goals or something. 

P.S. I am no one to actually tell you what to do, just think of it as an advise. 

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20 hours ago, WhoCares said:

Hello. You are making excuses. Every time I started making excuses I ended up with failure. I don’t suggest you starting it. Maybe you should reconsider your goals or something. 

P.S. I am no one to actually tell you what to do, just think of it as an advise. 

That is definitely correct and I have to stop the temptations before late. I know its gonna ruin my life before I know it. Thanks for the advice. 

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I have to start again. I am feeling bad for myself. I went back to all my post from beginning and remember those days with no gaming. I had more than six months without gaming. I can do it again. I have to make myself more discipline. 

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I will force myself to read for 30 mints and workout for 30 mints as well. I will post my daily progress here. I found gaming is linked to lose sight of my long term goals. Being physically fit and knowledgeable are what I am passionate about. For that, it is clear why I start gaming whenever I stop doing my workout and reading my books. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

have to start over!

 I can't believe what I am doing with my life! I spent the last few days gaming all day while my son was at daycare. I can't tolerate myself anymore this way. I need to change. I think I need create some barriers with my games. I submitted a ticket for deletion of my steam account. They need 30 days to remove the account!

I put an end to it this time for real.

 

 

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Thank you @BooksandTrees. You are correct. I think I need to be guided in the direction by experienced users like you.  May I ask some personal questions to connect with you? questions like where you are from, how old are you and what is your education (do you hold a master degree?) and what are you doing at work? I was interested to know that you are a Structural Engineer. I am a geotechnical Engineer (still in school doing a PhD) and about to graduate. 

I kind of know why I am relapsing. I do not have the replacement for gaming. There are nights that I feel bored and I want to satisfy myself. when I doing well for a week or two, I think I deserve to satisfy myself with some fun. However, there is not much I can do at this time. The weather is getting cold here in Canada. It was easier in Summer; I used to go cycling every night. So in short, I need some serious boosts in pleasure that is available through gaming for me. The first few games I play after a two-week break is super fun. But, things turn out bad when I continue gaming and it gets out of control pretty soon. I ended up feeling miserable and useless after few days. The reason that I have to quit is also clear to me. I know gaming destroys me in all aspects of life, mentally and physically.  I feel very responsible for my life and my son's future.

As I explained, I know where this relapse is coming from, but I am not able to replace something to give me the same boosts of happiness, challenge and excitement. I appreciate if you can elaborate on this. 

Thank you.

 

Edited by Mohammad
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