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2 hours ago, Mohammad said:

We've been married for 8 years and it has never been good. I think this might be the main reason why I have so much difficulties abandoning gaming.

Is it an arranged marriage? Sorry to get personal. I'm just wondering why not divorce or see counseling etc

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I started to quit gaming forever. I did it before, but I never managed to keep it up. It usually lasts for few days and then, I get back to my gaming habits. I hope this website and all the instructio

Day 4:   I did not play last night. My friends came by and after they left, I read for half an hour before going to bed. I am trying to focus on my long term goals and desires to block insta

Day 46 to 50:   I had no urge for gaming. I have been very motivated and tried to use every minute of my day to improve. I am very happy for this.  I think removing the steam account wa

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3 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

Is it an arranged marriage? Sorry to get personal. I'm just wondering why not divorce or see counseling etc

No really. We were friends but it didn't work out well. It is not too bad but we are not too happy as well. so the decision is not super easy. I will make up my mind in the near future or will get some counselling for sure.

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5 minutes ago, Mohammad said:

No really. We were friends but it didn't work out well. It is not too bad but we are not too happy as well. so the decision is not super easy. I will make up my mind in the near future or will get some counselling for sure.

Ok. Sorry to hear about that. It's pretty difficult and can be a huge reason for escapism into porn and video games among other things. Keep journaling your thoughts and working through them. 

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On 8/16/2020 at 4:09 PM, Mohammad said:

True. I am in a vicious cycle. Pandemic forced me to stay home and it triggered my gaming habit after 200 days of detoxing! It is fun to play but I cannot keep a balanced gaming routine. I know I have to abandon it altogether unless otherwise I will sacrifice my health, family, well being and future for the immediate pleasure. I think my biggest problem is that I do not have a barrier between myself and the games. I am home behind my desk and the temptation is too strong to deal with.
 

Hi Mohammad, I have seen your first post and found this one. Not sure what can I say, I relapsed after 7 years (2010-2017) when I played maybe once a year, just for some hours. Then I found myself playing 36 hours without interruption. I have to read your other posts, just curious which games caused you the relapse. In my experience it can be any digital content, some are more dangerous though.

 

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On 3/13/2020 at 7:02 PM, Mohammad said:

Day 137 to 195:

 

No gaming!

Have been doing great!

Got a internship program: working and studying at the same time.

I read two books on stocks and now that the stocks are crashing, I am gradually buying into it!

Planning to graduate by September 2020

Despite all the pessimism around the world, I am very optimistic about the future. We'll get over this within a year for sure. Wishing the best for everyone.

 

Sorry for double post, I think that this is the real problem. It seems to be too much for me, actually the same happened when I started working. The virus is definitely a huge problem too, it reverted us back.

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18 hours ago, R. Daneel Olivaw said:

Sorry for double post, I think that this is the real problem. It seems to be too much for me, actually the same happened when I started working. The virus is definitely a huge problem too, it reverted us back.

Hi Daneel,

Yes, that is true. Pandemic is a trigger and the gaming is up about 60%. So, many people are falling into this. I think watching Cam's videos and content will help you to give it a good start. Start a 90-day detox program and journal every day.

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18 hours ago, R. Daneel Olivaw said:

Hi Mohammad, I have seen your first post and found this one. Not sure what can I say, I relapsed after 7 years (2010-2017) when I played maybe once a year, just for some hours. Then I found myself playing 36 hours without interruption. I have to read your other posts, just curious which games caused you the relapse. In my experience it can be any digital content, some are more dangerous though.

 

WOW 7 years without gaming. That is awesome.

36 hours without interruption! seriously?!

 I prefer not to mention the name of any game because that could be a trigger.

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19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Ok. Sorry to hear about that. It's pretty difficult and can be a huge reason for escapism into porn and video games among other things. Keep journaling your thoughts and working through them. 

True... Thank you. I will keep this up.

Day 12 (August 31):

I did not play and I had a good day. Very productive indeed doing exercise, meditation, studying, housework, etc. I am doing very well these days, I try to keep the spirit up and running 😄

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4 hours ago, Mohammad said:

WOW 7 years without gaming. That is awesome.

36 hours without interruption! seriously?!

 I prefer not to mention the name of any game because that could be a trigger.

Yes went up from zero to 36 hours, it was hell. Thank you for mentioning my 7 years, I had linux on my PC to prevent playing. Actually I switched addiction to the worse, and multiple addictions strengthened each other. The trigger was my first smartphone and gaming habits gradually built up. I have never seen such dangerous games before and I was not aware of the new era of gaming. Recently I started deleting my games and accounts, and planning my first day without games.

Edit: Glad to see you on the way again!

Edited by R. Daneel Olivaw
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Unfortunately, I have played for two hours last night. Its is under control right now, but I do not want to let myself slide into this trap. I have to start a new detox and I want to make sure that I stay away from any games this time. So it is Sep. 2nd, day 1.

 

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1 hour ago, Mohammad said:

Unfortunately, I have played for two hours last night. Its is under control right now, but I do not want to let myself slide into this trap. I have to start a new detox and I want to make sure that I stay away from any games this time. So it is Sep. 2nd, day 1.

 

Why did you game and how did it make you feel?

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3 hours ago, Mohammad said:

Unfortunately, I have played for two hours last night. Its is under control right now, but I do not want to let myself slide into this trap. I have to start a new detox and I want to make sure that I stay away from any games this time. So it is Sep. 2nd, day 1.

 

Writing a dissertation is one of the best triggers. Remember writing mine in 2005, and same exact thing happened. Because it was exhausting and stressful, the row of exams. 15 years passed by and I still had nightmares of writing exams from scratch, all over again. So I started to play a game back then, it still on my backup HDD somewhere. The graphics is so bad, can't imagine how could I play that game with paying so much attention to the "admirable" graphics and experience. 

I guess that we are very adaptive to new things even at an older age. We are still able to learn new things in no time. Eg I learned how to play on phone at 35. I also played a game with someone who told, that he goes off for vacation, because he celebrates the 50th birthday of his son. Never came back to the game. He must have been somewhere around 70. It doesn't stop at 75, until dementia. Honestly, what is happening with all of us? 

You wrote: "I used a software to block games". Is that still available? Considered wiping Windows and installing Linux? Maybe throwing out that Windows DVD, reinstalling a system can be hard. That's a bulletproof barrier for a while, we can trick all of them though. But I'm already guessing that you need Windows for your study in Engineering. Am I right? Most software need win, and no way to migrate it to Unix-based system. 
 

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On 8/2/2020 at 6:58 PM, BooksandTrees said:

What keeps bringing you back to gaming and what don't you like about gaming that keeps bringing you back to this website?

I feel like you're in a cycle. 

I know this cycle well. I do everything to the excess, like an obsession. 50k photos, 100 movies, what not. Have a degree, lots of work experience, badges, skills and now almost starving. 

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23 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Why did you game and how did it make you feel?

I feel good at the start of the game. It was fun. I think that is why I am playing. But, I do not want to waste time on games so that is why  I am struggling. 

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21 hours ago, R. Daneel Olivaw said:

Writing a dissertation is one of the best triggers. Remember writing mine in 2005, and same exact thing happened. Because it was exhausting and stressful, the row of exams. 15 years passed by and I still had nightmares of writing exams from scratch, all over again. So I started to play a game back then, it still on my backup HDD somewhere. The graphics is so bad, can't imagine how could I play that game with paying so much attention to the "admirable" graphics and experience. 

I guess that we are very adaptive to new things even at an older age. We are still able to learn new things in no time. Eg I learned how to play on phone at 35. I also played a game with someone who told, that he goes off for vacation, because he celebrates the 50th birthday of his son. Never came back to the game. He must have been somewhere around 70. It doesn't stop at 75, until dementia. Honestly, what is happening with all of us? 

You wrote: "I used a software to block games". Is that still available? Considered wiping Windows and installing Linux? Maybe throwing out that Windows DVD, reinstalling a system can be hard. That's a bulletproof barrier for a while, we can trick all of them though. But I'm already guessing that you need Windows for your study in Engineering. Am I right? Most software need win, and no way to migrate it to Unix-based system. 
 

Yes, it is available but I cannot use it on this computer that I am using now. Because this is the University computer (I brought it home due to pandemic) and I do not have full access. Also changing the operating system is not possible on this computer. 

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6 minutes ago, Mohammad said:

I feel good at the start of the game. It was fun. I think that is why I am playing. But, I do not want to waste time on games so that is why  I am struggling. 

Why are games a waste to you? Some people feel games are not a waste and are enhancing their lives. Why do you think it's a waste? I'm not disagreeing with you since I'm clearly on the forums. Just trying to ask the right questions. 

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28 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

Why are games a waste to you? Some people feel games are not a waste and are enhancing their lives. Why do you think it's a waste? I'm not disagreeing with you since I'm clearly on the forums. Just trying to ask the right questions. 

Because gaming is not healthy. I know that there are activities that are more fun and more healthy and more importantly, I have some long term goals that are only achievable if I dedicate myself 100%. Gaming even for 10 mints kills my motivation and self confidence. I cannot think big and see myself behind my desk playing computer games. They just don't add up. So, gaming is my biggest challenge to unlock my full potential. 

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Mohammad,

The embarrassment of playing a game messes with you mentally from your posts, and this is no good. You are not starting over your detox, don’t say that. If you could see it clearly, you are progressing in your detox. Every failure is information. If you collect the information and make conclusions, every next step you get a qualitative improvement. If you ignore the information, you will keep repeating the mistake until you pay attention to the information.

Take it differently: the game gives you a quick enjoyment because you can forget issues, have a nice challenge, see your character develop etc. You may admire the game for another reason.

I want you to try to remember your emotions and thoughts before you get the pull to play because that is often the key to recovery. You can then find and match a strategy that replaces gaming and is healthy.

Whenever I want to have a quick battle, that is in real sports now. I can’t get out to a gym at any moment, but I can shadow box at ANY moment!

Edited by Amphibian220
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4 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Mohammad,

The embarrassment of playing a game messes with you mentally from your posts, and this is no good. You are not starting over your detox, don’t say that. If you could see it clearly, you are progressing in your detox. Every failure is information. If you collect the information and make conclusions, every next step you get a qualitative improvement. If you ignore the information, you will keep repeating the mistake until you pay attention to the information.

Take it differently: the game gives you a quick enjoyment because you can forget issues, have a nice challenge, see your character develop etc. You may admire the game for another reason.

I want you to try to remember your emotions and thoughts before you get the pull to play because that is often the key to recovery. You can then find and match a strategy that replaces gaming and is healthy.

Whenever I want to have a quick battle, that is in real sports now. I can’t get out to a gym at any moment, but I can shadow box at ANY moment!

Thank you, Amphibian for your very comprehensive interpretation. I totally agree with you. I feel really bad after I game. I have improved a lot after I have started detoxing. In the past, I used to game all day long for five years and I was happy and did not want to quit at all! But today, I came to a point that I cannot stand for a two-hour game. So, yes it has been a lot of improvement; but yet, I know how easy it is to relapse to old days! 

 I am really enjoying doing physical activities, but as you mentioned, it is easy to play a game but quite hard to pursue a sport in real life with all the busyness. 

I will try today to focus more on my long term goals and to feel my negative emotions. I know that the temptations come at 8-9 pm when my son goes to sleep so I can be mindful of this and do some exercise and meditation. 

 

 

 

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Day 3, 4 (Sep. 5,6)

 

I did not play any game. Have been focusing on my goals, personal development, family, physical health, etc. So far so good. Four with no games which is a good start. I also had no temptation in the these days which is great.

Edited by Mohammad
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