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R. Daneel Olivaw

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Everything posted by R. Daneel Olivaw

  1. Basically I sleep or play, some work, nothing else.
  2. Been a while, fully relapsed. I tried to read books but it didn't really work. I'm thinking of watching TV. Cold winter and virus makes things harder.
  3. The second one is Canon 350D. I had only one game-free day, started reading books, improving my life, and then relapsed. Back to social media, however I can keep some balance. Doing household chores, work, therapy.
  4. Yesterday I've unlinked my games from the account. Today I got some automated message. "Confirm to verify your identity. By clicking it, you are subscribing to the ... Games newsletter. To show our appreciation, we’ve got some great rewards for ..." Also I'm interested in technology and got this newsletter: "Get ... (this game) when you buy .... this processor. Play with the elite performance that you deserve and AAA games demand. Play this game with the most advanced desktop processors in the world" Same when I read tech news, it is part of my interest. They often cover gam
  5. Just a note: when I post on this forum, I never realize that my game is open all the time in another window.
  6. I've just found my smartphone log in my account, I had no idea that this log exists and collects data. I thought that I've turned off all logging activity right at the beginning. It covers all devices from 2016 and all apps, even broken and sold phones. The log shows that I've installed a total of 470 apps. The HDD photo recovery is more shocking. I've found tens of thousands of pictures, not only mine, but a family members and even photos from neighbors. These pictures date back to the year 2000. My boss requested to check out a social media group for work. I've realized that there is
  7. @BooksandTrees Yes, I am here again, starting the day not running after some new items, but journaling. I had one day off from games, feeling very thankful about it. I used my whole day productively, but suddenly bad things happened. After browsing the net, I realized that my health problem is more serious that I thought. The games robbed so much time for me previously, I got distracted from the really important issues. What a waste of a healthy person! My whole September is already scheduled with medical and other mess things. I use this weekend for some fun, I simply need it to lower s
  8. day 0, relapsed. Project halted @BooksandTrees you asked @Mohammad about the waste of time, and some people find games entertaining. I am one of those who feels some improvement by games. Game was the one what prevented me from feeling very bad emotions, it was a strong protection. When I stopped it long ago, soon after i developed psychosis, and my life went down rapidly. Chains of worse addictions kept on coming until I found myself in a much worse trap. Now I try balance, not doing one thing to the excess. Little bit of everything. Learned most of my written English from game forums, I kn
  9. Afaik, we remember the dreams when our brain wants to tell us something really important. Dreams never lie. I'd suggest to write down to somewhere, before they slip away, for later consideration. My therapist told me to do this, and I forgot. Freud and Jung also got it right, for reference. Just to mention some reliable names from the science. We need to fix this boredom thing somehow, this is common. Have a nice day!
  10. No idea where is the signature so I post it here. Orsolya Király, assistant professor, and Zsolt Demetrovics, full professor, called attention to the risks of using ICT tools in their study published together with other leading researchers of the discipline in the journal Comprehensive Psychiatry. The coronavirus pandemic and related restrictive lockdown measures may lead to stress, depression, and anxiety due to fear of the virus, financial insecurity, uncertainty about the future, and confinement. Psychoactive substances and various activit
  11. @MuMuMelon @Mohammad Gaming is nowhere at the top 10. Good to know what is the priority. The hiking case scared my a ton, I climbed on a tree not to fall down on the slope, I went up there to take really good photos. That's why I refrain to tell anyone what should he do. But addictions make each other stronger, I smoke much more when playing, used to drink much more. All my really bad accidents happened only after excessive gaming. I'm among the few people, who almost lost his life to games. The direct cause of death is always heart attack by excitement, or murdery like in Florida championship
  12. DAY # - 3 Projects: first day without playing Summary of Day #3: first day of detox, success, zero game (updated) I think that I can make it, some hours left until next day. Took a nap and the dream was about a game. I relapsed! Upon waking up, realized that it was just a dream. Not sure what is the goal of this whole project. It gave back a day from my life and it was productive, but no fun. If can make it until midnight, then what? True happiness awaits? I doubt, because this day was bad. On the other hand, it is so miserable and infantile. Why do I want that green item so
  13. I know this cycle well. I do everything to the excess, like an obsession. 50k photos, 100 movies, what not. Have a degree, lots of work experience, badges, skills and now almost starving.
  14. Writing a dissertation is one of the best triggers. Remember writing mine in 2005, and same exact thing happened. Because it was exhausting and stressful, the row of exams. 15 years passed by and I still had nightmares of writing exams from scratch, all over again. So I started to play a game back then, it still on my backup HDD somewhere. The graphics is so bad, can't imagine how could I play that game with paying so much attention to the "admirable" graphics and experience. I guess that we are very adaptive to new things even at an older age. We are still able to learn new things in no t
  15. Relapsed? No worries, there must be a way out of this. Maybe I was the one who carelessly posted something and it was the final trigger. I don't tell anyone not to play, because it can be dangerous. He will probably seek other pleasures subcounsciously, and ending up in alcoholism or anything else, that is worse than gaming. At least it is not a type of addiction, what can kill 100% surely. Fatalities are relatively low compared to other addictions. It is so painful to say this, even if it sounds very cold and logical! What about hiking and making the wrong step, then slipping down the m
  16. I am fighting with the urges. Woke up, first thing popped into my mind is the game rewards, but I read articles instead. Got messaged by the boss, there is no work today. I immediately thought: oh no, guaranteed failure. Somehow distractions come in a row, and realized that I have a load of neglected things. Then I bumped into a book about old games, and this addiction, started realizing the scale of the problem. It is much bigger than I thought. I started playing not with PC or electronic devices, but books. It is not a misunderstanding. I remember reading dungeon type books somewhere arou
  17. @MuMuMelonWhat a willpower! Going cold turkey with three addictions overnight! The body is getting rid of nicotine pretty soon, that's why it is so hard to make it. Urges come in less than half an hour and keep on increasing as the substance level is getting lower. It is also the number one killer and the most addictive thing in short term. But after a while, 1-2 months the urges just disappear and withdrawal never leads to death. I'm struggling with quitting every single day. Alcohol is the second cause of death worldwide, it needs about 3-6 months of professional detox in hospital. Th
  18. DAY # - 2 Time I woke up: 7 am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 1 am Physical task: work done Mental task: therapy done Projects: first day without playing Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ contacted other support groups ~ work done well ~ i received additional help and guidance, my protective social network is growing ~ learned a lot about my current job ~ i help other people at work, in turn they help me Summary of Day #2: no progress Today I played for 5 hours, all my free time. Now planning my first day o
  19. Hi @MuMuMelon. I quit alcohol for 7 months, with a minor relapse in March. I started meditating years ago, it become a daily routine and it is beneficial for me. It doesn't seem to work in medical conditions, meaning game addiction. I'm not interested in watching TV, managed to watch one movie recently. It is a good idea for slowing down. I think about walking and shooting photos again, recently applied for a local photo contest. My therapist also requested me to provide photos for him, and I'm happy to browse my gallery again. And reading books again. Thank you for your ideas!
  20. Yes went up from zero to 36 hours, it was hell. Thank you for mentioning my 7 years, I had linux on my PC to prevent playing. Actually I switched addiction to the worse, and multiple addictions strengthened each other. The trigger was my first smartphone and gaming habits gradually built up. I have never seen such dangerous games before and I was not aware of the new era of gaming. Recently I started deleting my games and accounts, and planning my first day without games. Edit: Glad to see you on the way again!
  21. Thank you for the welcome message, I really need feedback. It turned out that I don't have your deep experience. If I stop playing, I have nightmares and small panic attacks. Also games distract my attention from real life duties. And yes, the dopamin hit is the key issue. It is a trap, and being in a trap causes abnormal behaviour. That's what I have learned from books. Interesting indeed, I've read a lot of books easily before, and they were very interesting. But not now. I have to read 200 pages until I get my dopamin hit, when finally turns out who committed the crime in a detective st
  22. Sorry for double post, I think that this is the real problem. It seems to be too much for me, actually the same happened when I started working. The virus is definitely a huge problem too, it reverted us back.