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Tatu92

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I like how you put your second item on your gratitude list. I've definitely felt the same many times. People down in the bottom of the well will try to get you down if you try to climb up.

keep it up!

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Day 26:

Going to another night shift fellas.

What I'm grateful for:

  • allowing myself to rest today.
  • my friends, the close ones, the ones that care called me today to check in on me :)
  • being a positive influence at work, and teaching this new nurse to take her breaks and to ask us for help. She was struggling. Essentially cultivating teamwork, and not the "you're all on your own" attitude which is so rampant where I work. I used to be a victim to that, and everyone would just be miserable and shut up about it. Nurses eat their young is a saying.
  • My close relationship with my siblings. My sister, who's been a great rolemodel

What I did today:

  • Came from night-shift and slept till 1500 hr.
  • meditated for 30 mins
  • studied on nursing for 15 mins.
  • slept again until 2100

________________________________________

I allowed myself a rest day today. I'll be back again hard tomorrow! 

Oh wait. So yesterday, at work. I "half-heartedly" asked a girl out to hang out. We were chatting after work, as a group of 3. We were sharing favorite places to go eat. She asked me if I've been to this ice-cream place downtown. I asked her, if she is inviting me to go there. She said what? I said it again and smiled. Nothing came of it. She subconsciously covered herself with her sweater. Weird LOL. 

Kind Regards,

 

T

Edited by Tatu92

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just meditating on letting thoughts pass, and not clinging onto them. Trying to be present. aiming for awareness in what I am feeling, what is going on. but mostly letting go.

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Day 26:

What I'm grateful for:

  • going to yoga.
  • Meeting this musician at yoga, and him telling me about a gig he's doing, and the owner of the yoga place we go to he's gonna bring him to play as well. If I find out what the time is, I'll actually go check that out.
  • Only getting 4 hours of sleep, but still doing what I had to do.
  • a place to work

What I Did:

  • woke up at 1300 hr from night shift
  • read 220/275 pgs of slight edge
  • bought new pair of yoga shorts, and bought "daily stoic" a book that has one stoich quote to meditate on for each day of the year.
  • went to a 1.5 hr hot yoga class, and met a well established local musican. 
  • came home and meditated for 30 mins.
  • studied nursing theory for 7 mins.

_____________________________________________________

Overall a good day. I love hot yoga and how it makes me feel really good about myself towards the end of a pain-stakingly tiring hour or hour and a half. 

Gonna do one more night shift, and I get to rest for 2 days. 

 

T

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Day 27:

Hey Reno, I do both days and nights. Since my occupation runs 24/7, it is required that we work both. The best thing I can recommend when doing night shifts, is to take your breaks. We get a 2 hour break. And if I don't take those, the drive home usually gets harder with a sleepy mind on the highway.

What I've done:

  • did a training session at work
  • came back from my night shift.
  • woke up at 1600 hr.
  • went to hot yoga for 1.5 hrs.
  • went to the volleyball session after.
  • came back home.

What I'm grateful for:

  • although feeling uncertain about where I want to take my life now... I am grateful for the uncertainty, I would like to see it as an opportunity to grow versus give-up.
  • enjoying a nice meal after all the activities today.
  • being able to notice myself losing "engagement", hence the uncertainty, but noticing that I want to change the direction of where I am going. 
  • there is definitely abundance all around me. thank you world! :)

_________________________________________

Recently I noticed myself feeling "stale". Specifically noticing the constant "consumer" mindset and habits that I have. Although I have this intention for self improvement, I noticed that there is a STRONG consumer behavior attached to it. The fact that I bought maybe 4-5 books in the past 2 weeks is a little ridiculous. I have always had this tendency to make unreasonable purchases. Even with the meditations that I do, I had to purchase a brain entrainment program. I just don't buy into all this all that much. Sorry to sound somewhat negative, but to be honest there is definitely a line I have to draw. I think I have fallen into that consumer mindset, that is so automatic in our culture. 

So my intentions are right. But now I take a moment of pause - to reflect. Some of my actions, some of my urges, some of my decisions have failed me in that although they come from "positive intentions" (i.e. self-improvement), I have been blinded by that facade, and then falling prey to consumerism. The real question now is, would I be able to adjust my behavior to reflect a mindfulness about consumption? To not equate "self-improvement" with how new or or how much of material possessions I have. 

I think somewhere along the line, I've sacrificed real hard earned growth for new material possessions that present themselves as "self-improvement material". But, without being too hard on myself, I have been doing a lot of good for myself. For example: keeping up with yoga, in fact increasing in frequency, reading constantly, going in to work with a positive attitude, not playing games, really developing a thinking mindset  where I aim for educating myself in all of these endeavors. 

Thats it for now,

 

 

T

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Day 28:

Today was a good day. 

What I did:

  • woke up early. read 250/275 pages of the slight edge.
  • went to my work to re-instate my ID badge. I lose mine the other day.
  • came back to my city, and went to a chapters. Bought this book on some buddhist teachings. mostly to deal with my recently troubled mind. 
  • went to 1 hr hot yoga.
  • meditated for 15 mins

What I'm grateful for:

  • Having read this far into the slight edge. Now I just have to finish it tomorrow.
  • Somehow reading the teachings from this buddhist book taught me a lot about how to deal with my percolating mind. And I went into hot yoga working hard, and smiling the whole time.
  • the little culture we have in the hot yoga class, it's filled with positive people.
  • my family. 

_____________________________________________

The only thing I regret is forgetting that I was working a night shift on Thursday. That means I won't be able to go to the gig my yoga teacher has, I was telling him I really wanted to go watch him play guitar and sing. Damnit! I kinda want to tell him I won't be able to make it, he probably didn't even notice that I told him I wanted to go. But anyway, if I get the chance I'll tell him. No use crying over spilled milk. 

The other thing that was really important today was reading up on some Buddhist teaching. My issue was that I was so troubled with trying to "get things right" in this whole business of self-improvement. Being so concerned that I may not be doing the right things to get me where I want to go, and then it made me not enjoy the things I was already doing. My mind was just muddled with chasing this success. I was more confused, overwhelmed with thought if anything. 

And the book just reminded me that we spend all our lives chasing the carrot of "just a little more". Just a little more information. Just a little more effort. Just a little more friends. Just a little more achievements. Just a little more self improvement... I just had to notice myself caught in that cycle. Because in that head-space, nothing is ever enough. Trying so hard to put all of these "things" together, so that way I can approve of "myself".  When really, there is no self. 

 

T

Edited by Tatu92

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And the book just reminded me that we spend all our lives chasing the carrot of "just a little more". Just a little more information. Just a little more effort. Just a little more friends. Just a little more achievements. Just a little more self improvement... I just had to notice myself caught in that cycle. Because in that head-space, nothing is ever enough. Trying so hard to put all of these "things" together, so that way I can approve of "myself".  When really, there is no self.

I found it more helpful to go slow at some times and just focus on the things I am already doing while enjoying the progress. It feels a bit like at some point the ideas of what you could do in the future are plenty, but the things you actually do aren't as many. It is always beneficial for your state of mind and your general progress to focus on the things which are important for you right now. This works outside buddhism as well but good that you found smth. that helps you with your problems. The flavour of the solution isn't as important as the solution in my opinion.

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Thanks Mario! I'm not a Buddhist by the way. That was just where I got the idea from. 
That was another idea I explored as well, the idea of going slow specifically and focusing on what I am doing. Despite labels, I think we are acknowledging the same problem. Thanks for your help!

 

 

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Day 29:

I'm posting earlier because I've for a night shift tonight.

What I have done so far:

  • 15 min meditation
  • 15 min reviewing medical information
  • finished 275/275 pages of Slight Edge.

What I am grateful for:

  • Finishing the Slight Edge
  • Having a place to work
  • My mother's cooking is awesome :D 
  • Re-igniting my passion for reading! 

_________________________________________________________

The day just started, but I decided to write earlier. I won't have the time later on in the day when things are busiest. Anyway, I'm looking forward to my days off starting Friday. It'll be 8 days off, but I might pick up some shifts along the way. Actually, I'll most probably will pick up some shifts. But in any case, I'll take the time off to review the Slight Edge, review my plans and make some solid goals for the future. 

The past few days have been less about socializing, and more about quietly working. Although I still socialize with people. That's something I enjoy now. I'm just thinking more about how I can constantly practice the lessons I've learned so that way I can integrate them more so in my life. I'll explore this a bit more as time goes on. This weekend especially, will be dedicated towards that endeavor. 

 

Kind Regards,

T

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Hello!

Congrats on finishing Slight Edge!

Remember that journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. So what's your next book you're gonna read? :)

Btw. I'll give you my opinion on yoga and meditation: it is dangerous. I hope you keep it in mind while doing this.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Hello!

Congrats on finishing Slight Edge!

Remember that journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. So what's your next book you're gonna read? :)

Btw. I'll give you my opinion on yoga and meditation: it is dangerous. I hope you keep it in mind while doing this.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hey man, thanks for the opinion. Care to elaborate on why you think yoga and meditation is dangerous?

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Hello!

Congrats on finishing Slight Edge!

Remember that journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. So what's your next book you're gonna read? :)

Btw. I'll give you my opinion on yoga and meditation: it is dangerous. I hope you keep it in mind while doing this.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hey man, thanks for the opinion. Care to elaborate on why you think yoga and meditation is dangerous?

I've made a post on that probably in Mario Journal (@WorkInProgress), where I gave at least 10 sources of my knowledge. You can find it here, but if you don't then I'll find it and give you a link/copy that when I'll have more time :)

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Hello!

Congrats on finishing Slight Edge!

Remember that journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. So what's your next book you're gonna read? :)

Btw. I'll give you my opinion on yoga and meditation: it is dangerous. I hope you keep it in mind while doing this.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hey man, thanks for the opinion. Care to elaborate on why you think yoga and meditation is dangerous?

I've made a post on that probably in Mario Journal (@WorkInProgress), where I gave at least 10 sources of my knowledge. You can find it here, but if you don't then I'll find it and give you a link/copy that when I'll have more time :)

Dude, ur crazy. as your name says. i cant tell if you are serious or not. I just finished a 12 hour night shift expecting a decent explanation. LOL, and I get this crap. What a joke.

Edited by Tatu92

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Relax. He had some bad experiences with meditation  and believes strongly that it is a fixed part of a new-age-religion which is bad for you. To summarize the sources: A few of them were imho christian fanatics afraid of  new age stuff. Also there were some interesting and more scientific scourses about how Meditation can be dangerous  if you have existing psychic problems. Also yoga can hurt your body and posture if overstretch. Just type in danger and yoga into google and you'll find stuff about it. In my opinion that doesn't apply to the majority of people and I personally neither found meditation/yoga especially sprititual nor endangering for my physical or psychical health. No reason to call his opinion a joke though. I guess you had a hard night ship. This can make the calmest man moody ;)

You two are doing great. btw.

@Tatu92 it is awesome that you started finishing books. I found the slight edge pretty AMERICAN at some times but by now I firmly beleive in the philosophy behind it. If you don't move upwards you move downwards. Just the way the world works imho. I think I read it 2-3times just to remind of  this fact.

Edited by WorkInProgress

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Relax. He had some bad experiences with meditation  and believes strongly that it is a fixed part of a new-age-religion which is bad for you. To summarize the sources: A few of them were imho christian fanatics afraid of  new age stuff. Also there were some interesting and more scientific scourses about how Meditation can be dangerous  if you have existing psychic problems. Also yoga can hurt your body and posture if overstretch. Just type in danger and yoga into google and you'll find stuff about it. In my opinion that doesn't apply to the majority of people and I personally neither found meditation/yoga especially sprititual nor endangering for my physical or psychical health. No reason to call his opinion a joke though. I guess you had a hard night ship. This can make the calmest man moody ;)

You two are doing great. btw.

@Tatu92 it is awesome that you started finishing books. I found the slight edge pretty AMERICAN at some times but by now I firmly beleive in the philosophy behind it. If you don't move upwards you move downwards. Just the way the world works imho. I think I read it 2-3times just to remind of  this fact.

I felt belittled/insulted when he didn't bother explaining his standpoint. I needed him to explain where he was coming from.

I asked politely - but felt frustrated, angry, and outraged when he outsourced his opinion somewhere in your 31 page journal. and he wasn't even sure if it was the right journal. I needed him to relate/explain/ talk to me "eye to eye" or "level with me".

And I'm surprised and also grateful for you stepping in, and doing that for him. I appreciate your help.

I apologize for sounding crude. I was reacting based on my own feelings/ perceptions. Don't take it to heart, sorry.

 

 

 

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Day 31:

What I did:

  • woke up from my night shift in the afternoon.
  • went to hot yoga.
  • spent some time with my sister and her husband at the mall.
  • bought a new leather jacket.
  • ate dinner with my family at this hakka restaurant.

What I'm grateful for:

  • the good hakka food I ate.
  • going to hot yoga despite only 3 hours of sleep :P 
  • finishing my work-shifts. and now I'm on my weekend. 
  • buying a new leather jacket! 

_______________________________________________________

I'm still debating on what to read next. I have a few options. I'm skimming a few of these books that I have. Or I might just finish an audiobook or something.

I'll fix my schedule up for this coming week tomorrow. I spent the time after dinner today to do some cleaning up in my room, doing laundry, and cleaning myself up. I'll also adjust my budget tomorrow for the coming months. 
 

Thanks,

T

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Don't worry. It is is still the internet :) I just now how sometimes feelings can come up fast and as I read it I wanted to help evade a too many bad ones. Wait a sek I wrote a few days ago some book recommendations at kiki's journal I copy them for you.

Here we go:

 - The power of habit ( best book i read  for the understanding of the habit loop)

 - deep work by cal newport (Good if you trying to learn something difficult)

 - Models ( an overall good book on relationships and being yourself, also a fun in-your-face writing style)

- Play: How it Shapes the brain ( If you feel like your doing only chores and missing the fun in your life)

- The 7 Habits of Highly successful people ( a little dry but a very insightful self-development book)

- Daring Greatly ( About the importance of vulnerability. Didn't finish it yet but I think it is really important)

Edited by WorkInProgress
book recommendations

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